Question for single fathers

[gr0uch]

There's a lot on SS about how men should avoid single mothers. My question is, it seems being a single mom lowers a woman's value in most men's eyes, what does being a single father do for women?

I'm a single father and I'm new to game. I've noticed that in some situations where I'm targeting younger women, it weighs more heavy on my mind. Do I bring it up early, later, not at all? Obviously, it'll have to be a very serious relationship for me to bring my child around. Older women seem to be more used to the whole single parenting thing, so it doesn't bother them.

How do those of you with a child/children address this? Have you noticed that in general younger women are more hung up on this type of thing as far as hurting your chances? Do you not address it all, do you wait? Do younger women even seem to really care? How have you single fathers dealt with this? Has there been situations where being a single dad has hurt your chances?

 

[Warrior74]

You need to put an age on your profile gr0uch or the mods will kick your post out.

I dated single mothers and childless women. It never hurt my chances. I don't let women meet my daughter or bring them around her so they never see her. They just know that I won't be around when it's family time.

What hurts my chances more is being poor. When I had money and was a single Dad, they were very interested. Now that I don't have money, some see me as a provider who can provide, just not for them and their children. This kills it with those who are looking to brady bunch. Not so much with those who are just wanting to party or hang out.

Full disclosure, I've been single and out of the game for over a year, so my experiences are from over a year ago.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear GrOuch,
First things first,I am proud of you,being there for your Kid....Lends the lie to the Hype that brands the Don Juan as being irresponsible for walking to the beat of a different drum....As for hurting your prospects...certainly not,paradoxically it will actually improve them...Only thing is that bringing them back to your place needs careful planning and thought...As it is safest to always do your sowing of wild Oats at her place,then it will be restrictive to the extent that you really need Ladies who live Independently!

 

[gr0uch]

@ Mauser - I wasn't referring to it in a negative way. I didn't mean to make it sound like, "man, this sucks, I have a child and it's ruining my chances!". I think I kind of use it as a crutch to keep myself from approaching in some instances. Self defeating thoughts like, "Meh, I have a kid, she wouldn't be interested...".

As I said, this is all new to me, so I wanted to see if other single father's had the same thoughts and what they might have done to get past them. I feel like it's more a "mental block" than anything.

 

[ArrJAy]

What is the best way to answer your target while still demonstrating higher value when she asks what happened with your child's mother? Do you say that she was crazy and you tried to make it work, took her to counseling, etc but you were just incompatible? Or would it be more of a DHV to say something along the lines of you wanting your child to see examples of true love rather than an example of 2 people just living with each other and not in love? Great topic by the way!

 

[Rubirosa]

If you are paying for your kid's Swiss boarding school, then no, if you are sharing a room with 3 kids under the age of ten, then yes....

Mature women care about your standard of living more than fatherhood.....

 

[gr0uch]

What is the best way to answer your target while still demonstrating higher value when she asks what happened with your child's mother? Do you say that she was crazy and you tried to make it work, took her to counseling, etc but you were just incompatible? Or would it be more of a DHV to say something along the lines of you wanting your child to see examples of true love rather than an example of 2 people just living with each other and not in love? Great topic by the way!

I'm pretty sure I've read somewhere that you don't want to bad mouth your ex or child's mother. For me, i don't really talk about her unless the woman asks. Even then I don't say much. It just depends on how far along things are. If you've only just met, I certainly wouldn't bad mouth anyone, but if you've been on a few dates or slept together, then maybe open up a little bit more. Just my opinion...

 

[Desdinova]

My question is, it seems being a single mom lowers a woman's value in most men's eyes, what does being a single father do for women?

It depends on how the woman feels about you.

Men can evaluate a woman based on how much baggage she has. That's a logical thing to do. Women generally don't do this unless they have negative emotions toward a man. Then, the man's baggage turns into excuses to not date him rather than logic.

When a woman meets a man who is able to move her emotionally, it won't matter if he has kids, has been in jail, has no job, etc. What matters is how he makes her feel.

I've noticed that in some situations where I'm targeting younger women, it weighs more heavy on my mind. Do I bring it up early, later, not at all?

My gf was 21 when I started dating her last year. I focused on attracting her to me first. I think I revealed the fact that I had a child either just before the first date or during it. She knew it was going to make things a bit challenging, but it doesn't really matter to her since I'm bringing her emotional satisfaction.

If you want the child issue to be irrelevant, make sure you get her interest level up before you bring the subject of your child into the picture. Then she won't be basing you on your baggage, but will base you on your 'personality'.

Have you noticed that in general younger women are more hung up on this type of thing as far as hurting your chances?

Again, your 'chances' are only hurt by how the woman views you initially. It all boils down to how attracted she is toward you.

Has there been situations where being a single dad has hurt your chances?

Not at all.

 

[FairShake]

It has hurt me with very young women. I'm talking about the ones who are more needy and demanding of my time get frustrated when I am not available and "choose my daughter over them."

The majority of women who are older and have their own children or are used to dating men who have their own children understand. Look for a woman with her own life, love, passion, etc. and not one who will use you to fill her life up. Those kinds of women are the kind you want anyway.

 

[Three]

I'm just getting back into the dating thing now after a nasty short second marriage, so I don't have as much gaming experience now. I have 5 kids from my first marriage and so far I don't think it hurts me at all in terms of getting interest from women.

In fact, I think it gets them more interested/attracted as they wonder how a ****y, playful guy like me does it. Of course, I have my kids about a third of the time and pay a sh!tload in child support so that limits me on the financial end a bit. In all reality, I think most women at this point just view me as a fvcktoy and that's fine with me for now.