Question for MEN. Wimps need not read!

[NINJA PIMP]

Let's say you get pushed off the roof of a 4-story building. What would be the best way to land in order to cause the least damage?

My idiot friend seems to think it would be best to land on your head (no he is not joking). My dad says you should do some gay little somersault and that will save you I stand by my belief that you should take the fall like a squat, and use your strongest muscles (quads & calves) to cushion the impact.

As a kid, I used to play "manhunt" in my neighborhood with my friends and I would always win because I was not afraid to jump from the rooftops! (Only one story fall, but not bad for a ten year old)

 

[Skel]

gay little somersault haha that was funny

Anyways, I agree. Take the impact with your legs and then do a gay somersault like rolling into a ball and rolling along the ground. But honestly if you fall 4 stories your gonna get f'd up

 

[NINJA PIMP]

Originally posted by Skel
But honestly if you fall 4 stories your gonna get f'd up

Yah, but you will survive if you land right. A few years ago, a 4 year old boy fell out of a 6th floor window and landed on asphalt. He ended up with a fractured skull and broken legs...but he lived to tell about it!

Next question..

You are scuba diving in the Caribbean with your girlfriend. Out of nowhere you see a shark speeding towards the both of you. You realize that you have no weapons and there is nowhere to hide. How do you defend yourself?

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Funny, I think about this everytime I stand at a high place.

My decision is to land on my feet, but for a different reason than you, although you do have a point. I just feel that whatever I land on will break, so Ill put any really important organs as far away from the point of impact as possible.

Landing in a squat is a bad idea though, your quads wont be able to do **** and youll just fall right through and break your coccax, sacral and probably even more.

Think of it this way, lets assume one story is 4 meters high, that makes 4 storys 16 meters high, the energy with which you hit the ground would be around 12000 Joule if you weigh 75kg.

Lets say when you squat, already from the "down" position, you move that weight up, to standing position, 0.8 meters, or 80 cm.

To be able to compensate the fall with a squat like movement would be like lifting 1500kg with your squat, impossible.

The goal is damage control, not damage avoidance.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

THanks for the feedback, professor!

Those were some impressive calculations. Almost makes me wish I hadn't dropped out of high school..till I realize how much fun I had getting high and screwing random chicks....ahh the folly of youth!

You are probably right...which is why now I think maybe a combo of all techniques would work best. First I would fall parallel to the ground to increase wind resistance and lower my speed. About halfway down I would turn my body so my feet point downward and legs slightly bent. On impact I combine squat motion with gay somersault and at worst end up with w slight sprain and a few scratches on my hands. Hmm..I am gonna try this...BRB

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Well the options to landing are...

1. Head (never)
2. Back
3. Chest
4. Feet to legs (squat)
5. Knees/hands, like a cat

I'd go feet, knees bend like a squat and attempt to roll, using the downward force ******ds. Never tried it from such a height, but you flow with the enery. Otherwise, you stiffly try to just flop down and stand.

If you observe a cat, a spring-like motion occurs, by which the cat flows down with its legs toward the ground. It doesn't hit stiff. Anybody I've seen get hurt goes stiff, like they can brace all the fall with their joints.

--------------------------

As far as sharks, swim down, or vertically. A shark will try to drown its prey, so if you go under, take a breath, then gouge it's eyes and punch it's nose. Of course, if you're head first, you're pretty much already dead. But if he has your torso or leg, HEY STOP won't do much to an untrained deadly shark.

And if it's a great white, well, just say some prayers and hope you led a great life, well enough for entry into an after life, because he'll swallow you damn near whole.



A-Unit

 

[Skel]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP

You are scuba diving in the Caribbean with your girlfriend. Out of nowhere you see a shark speeding towards the both of you. You realize that you have no weapons and there is nowhere to hide. How do you defend yourself?

Short term or long term relationship?

If its a LTR I hear splashing around and letting the shark know that you see him is a good way to avoid becoming a meal. Sharks like to ambush their unsuspecting prey. Why the hell didnt it work in jaws though?

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Originally posted by Skel
Short term or long term relationship?

If its a LTR I hear splashing around and letting the shark know that you see him is a good way to avoid becoming a meal. Sharks like to ambush their unsuspecting prey. Why the hell didnt it work in jaws though?

Sharks are actually attracted by that, you best bet is to stay calm and do nothing.

 

[Alicorn]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP
Yah, but you will survive if you land right. A few years ago, a 4 year old boy fell out of a 6th floor window and landed on asphalt. He ended up with a fractured skull and broken legs...but he lived to tell about it!

Next question..

You are scuba diving in the Caribbean with your girlfriend. Out of nowhere you see a shark speeding towards the both of you. You realize that you have no weapons and there is nowhere to hide. How do you defend yourself?

I know this one!

Cut your girlfriend so that her blood will attract the shark then swim the hell out of there!

 

[thederekeffect1]

Originally posted by Alicorn
I know this one!

Cut your girlfriend so that her blood will attract the shark then swim the hell out of there!

lmao! You win. :crackup:

As for the whole jumping thing... I once threw my cat off of a 3 story building just to see if cats really landed on their feet. He landed on his feet, rolled over and got up. Then he glared up at me like "you son of a *****. We are SO over" and walked away with his tail sticking up in the air and his butt aimed towards me. Shaking it along as he walked away.

True story. He came back though. They ALWAYS come back.

My point is that if you want women to want you, you have to throw them off 3 story buildings to see if they land on their feet.

No, wait. That wasn't the meaning behind that story... I'll have to re-think this one through.

 

[FRëSHURE]

this thread is gold.

I really expected it to be terrible..

to answer without any jokes.

You should land in the motorbike position. which i guess is similar to squats..

your lower leg/feet will take some of the impact without getting damaged at all, because your a*ss will then take over and slam into the ground.. the a*ss is a damn big muscle, and by far the best place to absorb damage.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Land on your feet/legs, then tuck into a roll.

 

[Page]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP


You are scuba diving in the Caribbean with your girlfriend. Out of nowhere you see a shark speeding towards the both of you. You realize that you have no weapons and there is nowhere to hide. How do you defend yourself?

Easy. I would beat the shark to death with my huge penis.

 

[manuva]

Clearly nobody here has ever jumped out of a plane.

It's called a Parachute Landing Fall, and we had it drilled into us until we were doing it in our sleep in the paras.

More info:

http://www.dukesofwindsoar.com/dukes.cgi?do=html&htmlfile=html/ppg_info/parachute_landing_fall

Hmm. Link doesn't appear to be working. Google parachute landing falls, you'll see how to best survive a fall from a significant height.

Most important tip: Keep feet and knees tightly together - they are 70% stronger when kept together.

 

[Shiftkey]

If it's just a push and you weren't thrown, use the ledges in the wall to slow yourself down, or to grab on with any luck.

If a shark is coming after you, backpeddle away from it so that it bites your legs/feet first and not your head, then punch it as hard as you can until it leaves you alone.

 

[Jvesti]

okay guys, this is the reality

When you jump your best bet is to create as much wind drag as possible on the descent. Therefore face the ground and stretch your body out.

NEXT

right before impact turn on your right side. THe impact will go through your right arm. You'll probably break a rib but its away from your spine, heart, and others as much as possible. Your arm will be broken though.

I've heard of skydivers that have landed in real muddy ground in that position and have survived.

This i believe is your best bet.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Of course when you really fall from a 30-storey building you'll be too scared sh1tless to remember all these advanced tactics.

Just do a belly flop and get your friend to send your pics to www.rotten.com

 

[PRMoon]

If you fall off a building from 40 feet you want to do your best divert the impact to your collar bone by any means possible.

If you're being attacked being attacked by a charging shark you should pray. If you don't have a diving knife (and I can't fathom why any diver wouldn't) you should try to keep yourself higher then they're body and hit them in the nose and throw off their lateral line. Although I doubt anyone would have the sense to try it because sharks are the most dangerous large preditor i the sea so you're probably just gonna get chomped.

 

[jookins]

Most likely you will injure something, Probably your back if you land in a squat, you probably wont feel it anytime soon, but when you get older you'll know.

 

[Jay-X]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP
Let's say you get pushed off the roof of a 4-story building. What would be the best way to land in order to cause the least damage?

My idiot friend seems to think it would be best to land on your head (no he is not joking). My dad says you should do some gay little somersault and that will save you I stand by my belief that you should take the fall like a squat, and use your strongest muscles (quads & calves) to cushion the impact.

As a kid, I used to play "manhunt" in my neighborhood with my friends and I would always win because I was not afraid to jump from the rooftops! (Only one story fall, but not bad for a ten year old)

are you joking? if you take the fall like a squat, your chances of surviving are next to 0... your legs' bones will almost surely break into your vital organs at the very moment you land on the ground.
the best option you have is to fall with your arms and shoulders and immediately roll