Question for men 45 and older

[Trump]

At age 45, I'm at the "now or never" age for a (first) wife and child(ren). If not past it, but bear with me.

On one hand, my dad has been reminding me of this; on the other hand, he complains about his second wife (and practices revisionist history on his first wife (my mother)) [Yes I'm a programmer].

So I'm curious to hear from other men my age and older: are men like me going to spontaneously regret not having gotten married and having had children someday? Or will we continue to rejoice (as I basically have for the past 10 years or so)?

To the men age 35-45, I can honestly say I spend less than 1% of my life wishing I had a wife and/or children.

Thanks in advance.

Come on bro, you say it's "Now or Never" for a wife and children, your dad keeps telling you to get married and have kids, you start an entire thread about it, and you ask some strangers on the internet who you never met and will never meet if they think you will suddenly regret not getting a wife and kids, and then say you have spent less than 1% of your time thinking about it?

Obviously you are thinking about it a lot, otherwise you wouldn't be looking for affirmation from a bunch of internet strangers. I don't think you have been "rejoicing" you don't have a wife and kid. I think some days you are really upset and lonely and wish you had the family like others.

Personally I think everyone wants a wife and kid. It's good for image, its good to have company, its good to have offspring, its good to show the world you can attract the opposite sex. The issue is no one wants the headache that comes with them. No one wants to have a nagging wife put them down, no one wants to see their wife get old, no one wants to have the wife divorce and take half their money, no one wants to wake up to the same face and have sex with the same body day in and day out. No one wants to change diapers, listen to annoying problems, babysit all the time, save for a college fund, grow through all the growing pains.

Is the trade off worth it?

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm glad I have my girls, but having to put up with the ex is a pain, IMO it was/is worth the trouble with the ex. I had them late in life (38 yo), I'm not sure I would have the will to have kids now (age 49).

Don't have kids if the only reason is pressure from family, especially as old as you are. Look.... the only real reason for a man to have children is to pass his values onto another generation. You can do this without having kids, go into teaching or Big Brother program.... IMO 45 is too old to start thinking about a family, especially if, as you say, you really aren't thinking about it much.

 

[Julian]

Sad to say, but that mindset is what gets a lot of people to this sight. They justify "time in" as a reason to "stay in".

What if I told you instead that I was in a 4 year relationship that was the best one I ever had, a 2 year rocky relationship, a 6 year relation ship with a live in FWB, and a 2 year relationship that was an incompatible prison??
The kicker was that they were all with the same girl. Should it be "for life" then?

The truth is that we journeyed for quite some time together and at some point we hit a fork in the road and each chose a seperate path (back then It wasn't that easy). I don't regret the time, I embrace what I learned along the journey.

5 years after the relationship our paths crossed again. I met a weathered her and she met ZTIME, both of us changed from the paths we chose. We're good friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am happy we never married.

There is no right or wrong. There is no time investment that will ensure a happy partnership. There is truly just the journey of life. Fill it with friends, women, fun, and experience, but remember: some of the journey you'll need to walk on your own. It's these paths that seperate the pretenders from the contenders.

Thanks for answering that, brings some insight to us guys who havent been in relationships of that length...makes sense.