question for mature dj's on marriage

[sexualchocolate]

I'm in my mid 20's. I already have my opinions on the dreaded subject of marriage, and they arent the most healthy. I personally have never been married and feel that if you've made it to your thirties without any divorces then youve really made it, that is if you have a healthy dating lifestyle.

It seems that every, and I mean EVERY peer of mine that is/has been married is absolutely distgusted with their marriage, or been divorced within a few years.

I think womens reach for equality (good for them). Plus the major social changes from 20/30 years ago have ruined our moral standings. Just my opinion.

In coincidence, i just met/sleeping with a married woman in her thirties who has had it with her marriage. I know i'm a dirty dog but the maturity level on her compared to the 20+ year olds ive dated is amazing. Dont worry dont/can't have feelings. Note to all youngins out there. Date older woman, they can put you ahead of the game.

I was just curious if anybody out there has a perfect marriage. And what were you guys thoughts on marriage. I am willing to bet there are a few guys here because of previous divorces.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by sexualchocolate
...I was just curious if anybody out there has a perfect marriage. And what were you guys thoughts on marriage. I am willing to bet there are a few guys here because of previous divorces.

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage, hell there's no such thing as the perfect life. Not to say that marriage sucks but if you are looking for perfection, you'll end up disappointed because you'd spend your time focusing on fixing what's not perfect instead of appreciating the good things that you already have.

Perfection is a pipe dream.

 

[themanwithnoname]

Nowadays some marriages are based on personality compabilities, what does this mean?

1. Like attracts like. Your personality matches hers, if you grew up similarily (it doesn't matter if she has a better job, education, just similar upbringing is enough)

2. Like attracts like. Your weird humor is naturally shared with her weird humor.

3. Like attracts like. Her friends define who she is, if your friends and her friends seem similar, even more compability.

4. Like attracts like. Facial appearance. Despite what others may think, if her facial apperance somewhat similar, the attraction increases.

5. Even if she makes more money, better education, more athletic. It doesn't matter because as you know, women place emphasis on personality compabilities. A woman knows it's very difficult finding a male partner that she can totally open up to and that's what she wants ultimately. Like attracts like.

 

[DJohnson]

I have not yet been married either, and I sometimes think about what type of girl I will eventually marry.

What I do know is that marriage in the last 40 or so years ( since Hollywood movies ) is portrayed as this beautiful thing between two people who are in "love".

No, no. NO. Marriage is a contract between two people who don't mind having sex, don't mind having meals, don't mind having kids, don't mind going to a movie, don't mind hanging out without pressure to talk and gab together.

I believe people who say such and such spouse is my best friend probably have the only marriages that last. The downside of this is perhaps infidelity can creep in. I am not sure which is the greater evil to a marriage, her cheating on me, or her being a ***** and having a bad marriage...Actually I DO know

Sure in the beginning lust and such may be what it is, but in the long run it is a special contract. Basically, don't get married if you do not fit the above few criteria.

PEace

 

[undesputable]

Originally posted by sexualchocolate


It seems that every, and I mean EVERY peer of mine that is/has been married is absolutely distgusted with their marriage, or been divorced within a few years.

I think womens reach for equality (good for them). Plus the major social changes from 20/30 years ago have ruined our moral standings. Just my opinion.

yea excatly, American women have been rotten by feminism, and they simply dont have the values it takes to be a good wife.

read this blog http://mirrorofthesoul.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_mirrorofthesoul_archive.html

98 out of 100 women said they want a man to support them in marriage. When asked "Would you be willingly to cook, clean, do laundry, raise kids, etc., if a man works and supports you?" They said "He has to do his part in helping out with the housework." I said "That is unfair, a man works all day to support you, then you expect him to also help out at home." They said "Well, marriage is about teamwork." I said "Does not sound like teamwork to me with one party having an unfair amount of work to do than the other party." I got the deer in the headlights look again from these women.

thats why you got to go to non western country and find a real woman, with none of that feminist crap engraved in her mind.

 

[crowes22]

When you marry a woman, you are doing her the favor, NOT the other way around. Always remember this.

Our puzzified society in America today promotes the thought that the guy 'got lucky.' Women want you to be brainwashed by this society and believe this bullshyt.

The reality is SHE is the one that 'got lucky' by roping some pathetic chump into marraige. Never forget this.

--Crowes

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

I'm 26. It seems like a lot of people I know have been hanging on to the same boyfriend/girlfriend they've had since college, and decide to get married rather than losing that person.

Personally, I have no interest in marriage. I love living alone. I like being independant. I have no desire for children.

 

[penkitten]

being in a marriage is hard work for both partners.
if both are not willing to work hard for each other , they will fail.

marriage is all about compromising when you cant agree on one thing.

if the man works and the woman agreed to stay home and raise the children, she shouldnt be complaining when the baby is two and she doenst get out much.

however, in these days, most families have both partners working and they have to help each other do the things like raising the kids and washing the dishes and cooking dinner and mowing the grass.

the best thing for everyone to do before they get married is to talk to the person they are thinking of marrying and find out who will do what things.
when you set forth who will be responsible for such things, you can work more efficiently and things will go smoother.

when you decide on things you will do as a family or what you want out of life, things will run smoother.

with things going smoother, there is less chance for fighting and disagreement .

not every marriage works out, however not every couple decides on things before they get married.

then there is attention. both partners need to give attention to the other partner and be interested in what the other partner likes to do or the other partner will go and look elsewhere for attention and that is where all the dang cheating comes from.


thats just my 2 cents

 

[DJohnson]

Penkitten,

Thanks for bringing some rationality to this, I agree with your post wholeheartedly

Marriage is work, it isn't fluffly clouds and day dreams. I am sure it will be great but I understand that it will be great partially BECAUSE of the work involved.

I hope we all see this. Don't get married if you do not want to deal with the responsibility!!!

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by DJohnson
Don't get married if you do not want to deal with the responsibility!!!

that i agree with 100%

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by penkitten
the best thing for everyone to do before they get married is to talk to the person they are thinking of marrying and find out who will do what things.when you set forth who will be responsible for such things, you can work more efficiently and things will go smoother.

No, the ONLY thing to do is have her sign a pre nup. Period. Talk is shyt. NADA. It means nothing. It is not a binding agreement. Talk will get you nowhere in divorce court. NOWHERE.

Your PN may not address these specific issues but it will protect your assets if things don't work out.

When you say I do, she's got ya. Alot changes. And the change is to HER advantage. Why do you think all women are looking for hubbies? They know they have conquered/castrated you. The next priority will be having a kid. Then she REALLY has made you her slave.

If you are dumb enough to take that risk these days. Court=woman wins...Always.

I don't know about you but I enjoy freedom and enjoying the fruits of my labors. Do you?

If I marry, she WILL sign a pre nup. PERIOD. No signature=No commitment. She didn't pass the test. That is the only way I know we are both entering such a serious engagement w/ honest intentions. I'll respect her for that.

--Crowes

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by crowes22
\

If I marry, she WILL sign a pre nup. PERIOD. No signature=No commitment. She didn't pass the test. That is the only way I know we are both entering such a serious engagement w/ honest intentions. I'll respect her for that.

--Crowes

dude you must have some assets before you sign a pre nup.
do you think she wants your car?

come on, unless you have your own home and/ or buisness and/or lots of money.... why would you waste the money on a prenup?

most regualr folks dont have a bunch of assets when they start off .

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by penkitten
dude you must have some assets before you sign a pre nup.
do you think she wants your car?

come on, unless you have your own home and/ or buisness and/or lots of money.... why would you waste the money on a prenup?

most regualr folks dont have a bunch of assets when they start off .

I certainly don't have all I aspire to have, YET. But I will. And I have enough assets now to KNOW how hard they came and that I need to know that I need to protect it. What if she is in my life then? What am I too rely on to ensure that all I have busted my a$$ for won't be stripped away from me, by some chick that I did the fvcking favor of marrying?

What if we have kids? Then she has her fvcking hand in my pocket for the rest of my working life. And yea, women fake birth control ALL the time to rope guys into this shyt. Let's be realistic.

Women usually hate me b/c I am so aware of all this BS that is just right fvcking there for all guys to see. I don't care though.

I'm a pragmatic guy. Deal with it, or get left behind.

--Crowes

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by crowes22
I certainly don't have all I aspire to have, YET. But I will. And I have enough assets now to KNOW how hard they came and that I need to know that I need to protect it. What if she is in my life then? What am I too rely on to ensure that all I have busted my a$$ for won't be stripped away from me, by some chick that I did the fvcking favor of marrying?

What if we have kids? Then she has her fvcking hand in my pocket for the rest of my working life. And yea, women fake birth control ALL the time to rope guys into this shyt. Let's be realistic.

Women usually hate me b/c I am so aware of all this BS that is just right fvcking there for all guys to see. I don't care though.

I'm a pragmatic guy. Deal with it, or get left behind.

--Crowes

im sorry crowes but i cant see myself marrying someone i would suspect of running off with everything and leaving me with nothing. i couldnt date someone i thought would do that to me.

however , lots of ppl do pre nups. however they are a waste of time unless you have major assets.
a vehicle, a tv and stero are not major in my eyes. ( not that 's all you got but you get the drift)

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by penkitten
im sorry crowes but i cant see myself marrying someone i would suspect of running off with everything and leaving me with nothing. i couldnt date someone i thought would do that to me.

Nor would I.

Ha Ha...Yea I KNOW you couldn't. But you are a girl. THERE is the difference.

Us guys are not girls, this is our reality. I suggest not even trying to understand this, b/c you never will.

If she isn't suspect to running off w/ everything, why wouldn't she be open to signing a pre nup?

--Crowes

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by crowes22
Us guys are not girls, this is our reality. I suggest not even trying to understand this, b/c you never will.

You do realize that her first marriage ended by him emptying out the bank account and disappearing without even leaving enough to pay the electric bill, right?

She might understand more than you know.

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
You do realize that her first marriage ended by him emptying out the bank account and disappearing without even leaving enough to pay the electric bill, right?

She might understand more than you know.

And here you are, on the scene, ready to fvcking rescue her from this peril. No thanks, I got out of 3rd grade twenty something years ago.

--Crowes

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by crowes22
And here you are, on the scene, ready to fvcking rescue her from this peril. No thanks, I got out of 3rd grade tweny something years ago.

--Crowes

what is that suppose to mean?

i got divorced 6 years ago.

no one saved me from ****.

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by crowes22
Nor would I.

Ha Ha...Yea I KNOW you couldn't. But you are a girl. THERE is the difference.

Us guys are not girls, this is our reality. I suggest not even trying to understand this, b/c you never will.

If she isn't suspect to running off w/ everything, why wouldn't she be open to signing a pre nup?

--Crowes

UHH, can you answer this simple question? It would explain alot if you can.

--Crowes

 

[iveyleeger]

Another example why not to get married.

Your spouse runs up huge bills, ON THEIR CREDIT CARD OR ACCOUNT, and YOU are liable. Penkitten's guy didn't have to take the cash out of the bank, he could have just maxed out ten credit cards. I don't think a prenup can protect you from that, or from the accidental OOPS we have a baby issue.

So until the laws are fixed, just say NO to marriage. It is a feminist scam.