Question concerning Child Support...

[TheLadiesMan]

I originally was asking for every other week with my son. I worked my butt off for 3 years at this job to get in position to be able to do just this.

When I finally was rewarded my 1st shift position... my son's mother denied me anymore time with him. Mind you, I'm paying close to $600 a month in child support. Struggling, but I felt if this is what I have to pay to see my son, ok.

..but instead of letting me see my son, I was denied so I went to the courts.

We sat down with a mediator and hammered out a lot of the issues, and concerns, and all was well. I had asked for every other week, and she said no. So, I said give me 2 days out of the week, and every other weekend, for which she said ok. Tax exempt, she said no to every other year. So out of 20 plus issues, 2 were not resolved. Mediation over.

Two weeks ago, she called the mediator, said she wanted to get together with me to discuss issues again... today was that day.

She told the mediator and I, she was not cool with 2 days out of the week now. Being that he's starting kindergarten. I informed her, as well as the mediator that, separated families do this all the time, and since our son has grown up in this type of shared parenting, the change is not that difficult.
She still said no... to me getting my son one extra day out of the week.
Now I know this was money motivated, but I'm not exactly sure how?

So my question is... what happens to child support when a father gets his child more than 2 days out of the week, and every other weekend?
Something happens, but I don't know what it is???? All I know is that she's totally tripping out about it, and doesn't want me to get any weekdays with him because of it.

Mind you I have no problem with what my child support is now. If I did, I would have contested it a long time ago. The proceedings is for legal rights, and shared parenting of my son.

I told her that she's still going to get child support from me, and that all I'm asking is for one more day out of the week to be a father to him, to help him with school, to teach him things only a father can, and she's denying me for reasons I believe, has to do with child support payments.

So why is she keeping me from my son?

 

[sodbuster]

She's a woman. revenge?stupid? Can't play the single mother wwith no help from dad card?Worried about reduced child support? Who knows, My ex pulls some of the same stuff

 

[LovelyLady]

I do not know the law where you live, but where I live, once you stop being the "visit" person and the pendulum switches to a 50/50 time split - or even more where the child is with you more than her (which is what you are proposing) child support can be modified to where you would pay less, because you have the child and are providing for him on those days.

The court's interest is what is best for the child. That is, as I know you know , what matters the most and is the position I am glad to hear you are functioning from.

I think it would be agood idea for you to have an informational consultation with an attorney, just to be really clear on all your actual rights as a parent.

I hope this helps!

 

[ketostix]

Well I'll tell you what I thinks fair. If a child is over a certain age say 2 or 3 years old, the father should get at least 50% of the custody and not pay any child support. How the hell could this not be the most fair way?

 

[TheLadiesMan]

While I am not an expert, I have had numerous discussions about this topic with people that have gone through the custody battles and such. One common theme among the discussions is that even though custody may be "shared", even up to 50% each", there is one designated "primary care-giver" and that person will receive child support payments.

Child support often has little to do with how much time you have with the child.

That is fine.. that was established at the last mediation. Since my son is going to go to the school she is referring him to, she would be the "primary care-giver".

How, or why would that cost me my time with my son? She will still get her money, she will still have my son going to the school she wanted, and not mine. I still want to help him with his homework, more importantly, he wants me to be more a part of his life.

I love my son, more than anything, or anyone in this world. My only purpose in life is to raise that boy, I know this.

I will never give up.

If you are a lawyer, or know a friend that is.... please, I can use some assistance in this very important matter. I don't have a lot of money, but I will work to get you your compensation if you could help me.

 

[LovelyLady]

Well, how about you have him an extra day every other week, since you won't be seeing him every other weekend.

That way, you get a little of what you want
and she gets a little of what she wants.

And kids adjust just fine to going to each house, as long as you are each consistant in what you do when he is at each place. They learn there are rules at Grandma's, at Church, at Mom's and at Dad's and behave accordingly.

Also, if you pay child support - you should get the dependant claim on your taxes - judges usually award it that way in my State, unless you both agree otherwise.

Oh, and now that I think about it - the bigger tax benefit is Head of Household - where the child spent the most days out of the year - (that is often a MUCH bigger deduction/$ back than dependant is - so that could be her financial concern). You can claim Head of Household and still not have the child as a dependant.

Also, if you are paying insurance - that should be deducted from the child support amount (at least it is here).

 

[IronStar]

All things being equal, if you've offered to maintain your child support payment even though you want to see your son an extra day, then whatever her issue is, its not the money.

To be blunt, she probably just doesnt want you to have him that extra day. The number of times I went through this sh*t with my ex you wouldnt believe.

Generally speaking, as the non-resident parent, the more days of the week you have custody of your child, the more you are deemed to be contributing to their overall maintenance, & thus have to pay less to the resident parent.
If your picking up medical expenses, etc, that should be taken into account to.

As to how that reduction is calculated, good question. Your location is Ohio? I googled up http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/3119 man, they like to make it complicated. Its next to impossible to do this stuff without legal representation.

Respect for toughing it out & sticking to your guns.

 

[sodbuster]

Just a thought,mention to her you don't have as much time to chase the ladies[infer it so it won't be used in court against you] if you have your son. She may be more than willing to kok block you[aslong as she doesn't know your true intentions]

 

[penkitten]

honestly, i don't know how your state is set up for cs. i know mi is set up like lovely lady spoke about, however in ky child support does not have anything to do with visitation .
does your state use something called "friend of the court"?

i honestly think she is saying no, because she just likes to fight with you, and to keep the drama going. i'm betting anything her momma or new bf or girlfriends or someone threw a fit when they found out what she agreed to the last time you were with the mediator. now, she's gotta come back like it bothers her. it bothers her mother and she has to listen to it.
it's ridiculous.

by now, i think you have proven to be a good father who should be getting 50/50.