Question about NC and Nexting

[darkstarrr]

I Nexted one of my potential plates a few days ago because she was not putting out, although she does have hot friends - something I had to consider before ending it. Now she is texting and emailing. Should I eventually respond?

She displayed vague AW qualities, and although this one is only 22 and its to be expected to a degree, it annoyed me just the same.

This one has a boyfriend too, with whom she is on-again off-again with. What triggerred the nextation was when I received a text message from her stating "ok no more texts/calling for tonight " which meant "I'm with poindexter ..." she had done that one time before.

She's a cool cat, young, with a fresh looking face and bright smile. She didn't expect me to drop her like a Sunday paper. Now her texts saying "what's up" have progressed to "dude are you alive" and now she's emailing me briefly stating the same.

What should I do?

Social circles are valuable these days. Even if her and I don't end up hitching up, she has a lot of lady friends. I could cut her off completely but for some reason I'm beginning to feel that might be a little extreme. Plus, what if she continues to try to contact me? When is enough, enough - and I just talk to her. Its fun being on the other side of this lol

If I leave her as a 'friend' on FB but continue to ignore her, eventually she will figure out I'm fine, and that I'm just ignoring her. Curious what she'd do then. lol

If I re-establish communication with her, I may risk exposing myself to more of her demasculinative behavior. I know she likes me a lot and enjoys my company but I feel she may have been using me to fill the emotional needs her pseudo-bf was not providing.

 

[italostud]

I Nexted one of my potential plates a few days ago because she was not putting out, although she does have hot friends - something I had to consider before ending it. Now she is texting and emailing. Should I eventually respond?

She displayed vague AW qualities, and although this one is only 22 and its to be expected to a degree, it annoyed me just the same.

This one has a boyfriend too, with whom she is on-again off-again with. What triggerred the nextation was when I received a text message from her stating "ok no more texts/calling for tonight " which meant "I'm with poindexter ..." she had done that one time before.

She's a cool cat, young, with a fresh looking face and bright smile. She didn't expect me to drop her like a Sunday paper. Now her texts saying "what's up" have progressed to "dude are you alive" and now she's emailing me briefly stating the same.

What should I do?

Social circles are valuable these days. Even if her and I don't end up hitching up, she has a lot of lady friends. I could cut her off completely but for some reason I'm beginning to feel that might be a little extreme. Plus, what if she continues to try to contact me? When is enough, enough - and I just talk to her. Its fun being on the other side of this lol

If I leave her as a 'friend' on FB but continue to ignore her, eventually she will figure out I'm fine, and that I'm just ignoring her. Curious what she'd do then. lol

If I re-establish communication with her, I may risk exposing myself to more of her demasculinative behavior. I know she likes me a lot and enjoys my company but I feel she may have been using me to fill the emotional needs her pseudo-bf was not providing.

Yes, that was probably exactly what she was doing, using you to fill emotional needs.

That doesn't mean she won't put out though, but it will be harder than if she didn't have another guy.

If you stopped contact a few days ago and she's contacting you a lot now, I have a theory:

Most quality girls would be ashamed to be chasing after a guy really hard after only a few days of NC. She seems to lack this shame and it may be because she doesn't view you as high value, or she views you as expendable. In either case, this may allow her to be a little more aggressive than normal without caring too much.

That's not to say she doesn't wants to bang you. Maybe she does maybe she doesn't, it's hard to say in these kinds of cases because a lot depends on little cues that can't be conveyed over the internet.

What I would do is give her a little bit of contact, not much though. Make her think you're dating other women. Be slightly vague with her about things.

If she does want to bang, she will make it apparent after you put her on an attention diet. If she was only using you for emotional needs, then that will be obvious as well because when you talk to her again it will be the same old shyt.

Either way you can still use her for her friends because you've maintained some contact and you've also figured out where you stand with her.

 

[jophil28]

I Nexted one of my potential plates a few days ago because she was not putting out,

That says exactly what she thinks of you...you were in the FZ.

You were her convenient source of atttention and validation in the gaps that she experienced with her B/f.
She is texting you in a predictable attempt at regaining her "supply" of attention from you.
She had you in Beta mode and she believes that you will submit to her wishes if she badgers you..

IF she gets desperate enough she may BJ you in the carpark ONCE just to drag you into her web , The next day she will tell you that she "made a mistake" and she really loves her B/f and ...blah blah...and wham..you are back in the FZ.

I've been the b/f ,and I have been where you are now.
IF you press eject on a woman, you can never go back without her believing that you do not mean what you say.

 

[darkstarrr]

If she does want to bang, she will make it apparent after you put her on an attention diet. If she was only using you for emotional needs, then that will be obvious as well because when you talk to her again it will be the same old shyt. Either way you can still use her for her friends because you've maintained some contact and you've also figured out where you stand with her.

That sounds great. Especially the attention diet part.

These young ones are good practice. I'm going to have to be crafty about keeping high IL while doing the following:

Give her a little bit of contact, not much though. Make her think you're dating other women. Be slightly vague with her about things.

This really is just like fishing. Though maybe I should focus more of my energy on ones without someone elses hook in their mouth already.

 

[darkstarrr]

I've been the b/f ,and I have been where you are now.
IF you press eject on a woman, you can never go back without her believing that you do not mean what you say.

You're right! See this is the crossroad I'm at. Ahtough, I didn't actually say anything to her that would lead her to believe I cut her off. I just started ignoring her. But I do understand your point.

If I decide to give her a little contact like italostud said than I'm going to have to think this through some more. Maybe she'll just flip the script by trying to get me to initiate the most recent contact and then she'll next me by not initiating from there on out and ignoring me if I contact her again. Sounds like highschool.....but I suppose this is what I asked for!
:cheer:

 

[jophil28]

If I re-establish communication with her, I may risk exposing myself to more of her demasculinative behavior. I know she likes me a lot and enjoys my company but I feel she may have been using me to fill the emotional needs her pseudo-bf was not providing.

You said it all here ^^.
You knew, by typing these words, what she wants from you and what she has been doing WITH you to satisfy her needs.
Surely her actions to date have been less than satisfactory, as far as your needs are concerned, and that is why you pulled away.
Why second guess your decision.

What evidence do you have from her recent behavior to support another attempt by you at "getting some" ? A few texts mean little. All she is doing is trying to re-establish her ego 'supply' from you. You may be confusing her mild panic at losing you as guaranteed interest level . It is not. If she was really interested you would know it unmistakeably by the sight of her clothes all over your floor.

As far as these recent texts go, has she suggested, or initiated plans for a date, or a hang out at least? Has she offered to take you out for beer and fun?.
What exactly is she offering as an enticement to convince you to 'try again' ?

I can't see much of anything like that in your post.