Question about going to a club alone

[GaryNas]

Some people on here mention they go to clubs alone. I'm going to be in this situation on Wednesday where I'm going to be alone until I meet up with people later in the evening. I know I'm going to feel really awkward and insecure since I'll feel I look like a dork.

Any tips from you guys who have been out alone before? How I should act, and approach women in this situation?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Be confident and funny! You don't need another guy to do a pick-up. Ask women to dance.

 

[smooth666]

It is great fun! Do not worry!

Remember to smile ALL the time because chicks will check you out all the time even if you do not realize it.

Mentally say to yourself: I am here to have fun and I do not need any buddies around to have it!

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

My way to get social proof

I go out alone all the time. My friends are settled into their "I don't like clubbing" routines. They'd rather sit in a dark, ethnic club and drink beer until 3:30 am while listening to David Allen Coe on the Jukebox. (I can only take country music in small doses) But I'm getting off topic...

I like to go rather late, as the only club around here doesn't get kicking until 10:30-11:00. Plus, I'm sober (read: clear-headed)
I head straight for the dartboards. I'm a decent darter, and I'm always up for a challenge. (20-somethings in clubs are horrible at darts)
I'll throw a few frames, and I always get compliments from women hanging around (*giggling* You're so good because you're so tall, your arm is halfway there!")
At this point I introduce myself, and charm the hell out of them.

My point is: find your comfort zone.

 

[diablo]

Just ask yourself: How many times have you been out and said to yourself "look at that guy walking around in the crowd, he must be by himself!" I'd imagine the answer would be never. If you act like you're confident and know what you're doing, I doubt you will ever have someone think twice when they see you. You shouldn't have to change anything about your normal approach to girls... after all, don't you usually do the talking to her yourself? I'd hope that the whole herd of you and your friends don't usually move towards her, smothering off her air supply...

 

[GaryNas]

Great point Bishop. I've actually never said that about someone at a club before. The only reason I like a group is because after I say hi to a girl I like to go dance with my friends instead of her... you know, the whole tease thing. I'm more confident about the night already. I love this site!!

 

[ted]

Going out to clubs alone

I just started going to clubs by myself. I actually had to force myself to do it. I suggest if you need to calm the anxiety at first have a couple drinks when you first come in(don't get drunk, mind you). After you get comfortable, at least in my case I start to become the so-called "social butterfly". It also seems that women check you out even more when you are by yourself. They talk to eachother about you while looking at you from a distance(before you approach). It seems that they are saying to themselves "this guy must be very confident (sexy) as well as fun if he's willing to go out by himself and have a good time." For me it seems that you must go on a somewhat consistent basis because your "game" gets better when you practice and it declines after not practicing.

 

[Pro]

I always end up seeing people I know if I go out alone or with people so I never really feel alone. Like someone said when you see someone you don't think hey they are here alone and sh1t. I mean I am always runing around the club by myself talking to different people and that's even when I am there with a group.

Just act as if man.

 

[GaryNas]

Even more great replies. Thanks guys!

I'm still a bit nervous and anxious about this, so let me talk about how I think it's going to go. I'm going to be alone for about an hour because I'll get there earlier than everyone else... so...

I walk in, first place I go is to get a drink. Say hi to some other girl up at the bar, but don't want to have convo yet, maybe later if she's interested... Now at this point I'm lost. I don't want to be the guy who says hi to EVERY girl hoping to get anything.

ted, maybe you can discuss what your plan and result was the first time you went clubbing alone, and future experiences.

Thanks for the feedback guys!

 

[ToP DoN]

Loner

dont go by yourself you fvckin loner...lolz...im just kidding bro...i go out by myself and with a group about 50/50...it doesnt matter cause i end up walking around talking and dancing to diferent girls anyways..going by yourself is a good way and motivation for you to meet new people....

 

[ted]

Going to clubs alone

The fist time I went out alone, I had a couple of drinks and walked around a bit. I also got on the dance floor and started dancing (i can dance pretty good). I was moving around the floor dancing with a few women. I asked one girl her name and she told me. I told her that I love the way she dances. I also asked her friend what her name was and she said "I'm not interetsted" My reply was (Laughing) " I was just asking your name" I said it in a tone that made it seem like she was a rude person. She checking me out the rest of the night,since I didn't take her crap like most guys do. I guess the biggest thing to keep in mind is that you cannot let rejection effect you in any way whatsoever. I didn't hook up that night, but that actually wasn't the reason for going. One, I wanted to have fun and two, I wanted to get more comfortable in that situation. The more you go out by yourself the more comfortable you'll get.

 

[gav]

first time i went out clubbin by myself, i couldn't find my game at all. every move i made was done nervously; the whole way thru i felt like i NEEDED social proof; still do mind u

it actually turns out that i've had the most success when the social proof has been at its greatest

 

[DJ_Dork]

going by yourself does have a notion of being cast as a loser. but if you know how to dance on the floor (or attempt) people will notice that, especially the regulars. i'd rather go with female social proof so girls i want to freak on trust me a bit more.

 

[smooth666]

Originally posted by gav
first time i went out clubbin by myself, i couldn't find my game at all. every move i made was done nervously; the whole way thru i felt like i NEEDED social proof; still do mind u

it actually turns out that i've had the most success when the social proof has been at its greatest

I do not know why everyone is so much concerned with showing social proof. I just behave as if going alone is the most natural thing in the world. Maybe I am used to it because I in a period of my life I went to virtually every movie in the theaters and therefore I had to go by myself sometimes.
If you act confident,show you have fun and dance, nobody will care about social proof.
If somebody asks you anyway why you went alone:
a) give BS, c+f, ect
"my friends already left + give some BS"
"my friend dropped out suddenly because his ex...."
"my friends do not join me any more because I always end up with girls all over me... +smile +BS+c+f..."