Question about an Ex getting married

[Delly2000]

I will try to keep this brief. I dated a girl for 5 years. But I was playing on the side. She is five years older than me. She treated me real good but she was a big girl but cute and I was embarassed to take her in public. Plus I live in a small town so the other girl I was dating was liable to find out.

Anyhow this ex found out I was cheating and it went downhill. We got back together and it was cool for awhile and she asked me to marry her. I just couldnt do it. We parted ways and kept our distance. Anyhow I told her I was moving to California about a month before the move till about December. We went out to dinner and she paid. She gave me a peck on the lips but kinda kept her distance.

I went away for a week then came back saying I love her and wanted to be with her adn she was the one for me when she dropped the bomb that she met someone and that it was serious. She started seeing him around the last time I saw her (when we came from the beach and went to dinner about a month ago).

She started putting up on Facebook how she is so in love etc and put that she was in a relationship. She never did that with me. After all that I deleted her. I just felt it was too much adn kinda disrespectul. They getting married soon.

What I dont understand is how I could be with this girl for 5 years. She says she wants me to marry her says she loves me. Then she meets some guy and within 3 weeks they are talking about they are in love etc putting it up on Facebook on each others wall. And I saw them holding hands. Like that soon in the relationship?

Thing is it kinda goes against all I learned on here. A girl falling in love so quickly. Is that possible? Arent u suppose to go slow? How can u really know a person so soon? What a waste of 5 years. We wasted each others time I guess.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Delly,
A great warning to all you young guys....Its called falling in love on the rebound.

 

[squirrels]

That you find it "disrespectful" speaks more about your own pride, I think.

This.

Get over yourself. You lost this one...let her go.

 

[vatoloco]

5 years? Really? She never brought up the "Where is this going?" conversation after a year or two? That's a red flag to me. Sounds to me like her IL in you was mediocre at best but she suddenly realized The Wall was near and panicked. She pressed you, you didn't oblige so she dropped you.

Now she's fucking some other guy and you find it "disrespectful"? After you were "playing on the side." Respect goes both ways, my friend.

The male ego is a powerful, destructive thing if left unchecked.

This one's done. Time to spin [a] new plate.

 

[The_411]

You have opportunity to learn some valuable lessons here.

1) You stuck with a girl for five years that you weren't interested in and were embarassed to take out in public? Why?

2) Actions have consequences and you can't expect someone to just forget you cheated on them ...

3) You didn't want to marry her

4) Your mind changing sounds like an emotional response rather than a logical response. It also makes you wishy washy which is gigantic turn off for women.

5) What she does after a relationship is over is of no consequence (save of course dragging your name through the mud)

6) It's possible she's met that special someone but chances/are she's probably met a BPD/NPD guy who has put the great con on her and things will end badly.

My biggest question is why do you even care about someone you didn't want even want to take out in public and didn't respect enough to cheat on... As it goes for women so it goes for us in this area. If you care about someone and see a long term future what's the point completely diregarding them?

Doesn't mean you ahve to be a symp but to me this sounds like you're jsut butthurt that you can't cake eat and have her at your beckon call.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

Doesn't mean you ahve to be a symp but to me this sounds like you're jsut butthurt you can't cake eat and have her at your beckon call.

This

 

[Delly2000]

She hasn't done anything wrong. She was a good woman. Truth be told I wasted her time. But she was there for me man. I was the one that did the injustice.

Well if she happy thats good. It appears that she is. Just seems all sudden. I am not going to mention that the guy has two kids already and was seemed like he was recently divorced (in one of his old facebook pics he had on a wedding band). I did a little snooping when she told me to see who was my replacement.

And who says I love you after 3 weeks???? And as soon as I put up pictures of me with some pretty girl at this Carnival...she changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" like the next day...then all the congratulatons and "u deserve it girls" came in.

I know she just thinking about herself and her happiness...just seems like a slap in the face to the 5yrs we spent together. I wouldnt do it.

I didn't want her. But she was one of the good ones. Something I can't deny.

 

[ohnoes]

Dude you obviously got feelings for her but you have no right to whine. You cheated on her and didn't want to marry her. MOVE on, she has.

 

[Slickster]

Good for her! Moving on from you is probably the best thing for her. You were definitely wasting her time!

I wouldn't call anything she's done disrespectful.

I read this as you strung this girl along for 5 years (probably just for sex). You were embarrassed to be seen with her. You cheated. You let her ask you to marry you and you refused probably because she's fat. Talk about disrespect!

I get the sense that you do like this girl as a person and she's probably really cool. I believe you probably went away for a while and had your "Shallow Hal" moment where you realize there is more to women than just their looks. Then you came running back to find out it's too late.

Now you are whining about her being disrespectful? No way man. Let her go be happy!

The sad thing is you are still lost. Letting her go is the best thing you can do for both of you. Stop snooping on facebook. So lame.

Do yourself a favor and don't sit around wallowing in your misery about this girl. She NEVER was the right girl for you. If she was you would've figured it out a LONG time ago.

Take what you've learned from this experience and use it to better your life in the future.

A cool chick with a great personality who you have a really good connection with is always better than a hotter chick who you just don't feel anything for.