Question about a girl I have a HUGE crush on

[incognito42]

I am 18, she is 16. She is a virgin and has never had a bf. This girl is a straight dime. She is 5'9, with a beautifully proportionate body, light blue eyes, and even great hair (something I never notice).


I met this girl, along with 2 of her friends, through one of my guy friends. The 1st night we hung out I noticed her glancing at me througout the night, for long enough at times that I might even say she was staring. She smokes, drinks, has a great personality and if you hung out with her for a night you would never guess she is 16 yo and has never even had a bf. I feel like Ive struck gold, but Im not sure how to handle a girl in this situation as Ive never been in one quite like this. Her friend told my friend that she is interested. We have talked a good deal. However she is really doing a good job of confusing me into not knowing what step to take next. I have known her for a few weeks now, hanging out and just chilling with the 5 of us every friday and saturday night for 3 weeks. From her friend telling my friend she's interested, and the way her friend says little subtle remarks when we're hanging out such as, asking me if I know "hot to work it" when her friend was struggling with the radio, etc, It has become fairly obvious that I have a window open.


So I think she is one of the most strikingly beautiful girls Ive seen my age in some time, and shes 16. On top of that, I get the feeling she is interested the 1st time we hang out and then her friend confirms it. So we'd been hanging out a week or 2 now and my friend has managed to kiss both her friends, and strike upa bit of jealousy between the other 2 girls. One of the girls is obviously trying to hook her and me up, and my friend does a good job with throwing out joking comments such as, "enough of this hard to get". It has become pretty obvious she is just shy, and her friend has said I will have to be very patient with her and she willl take persistence. That is fine with me, as I am really into her. Now in comes the problem. We have talked a good deal in person, her and her friend have already said they dont like to do anything but hang out with eachother and drink each weekend, no parties, swimming, hot tubs, restaurant, movies, etc. So we just hung out a few weekends in a row. I asked her for her ph # last Saturday and said something to the effect of "you must atleast like talking on the phone" in which she responded with a simple "no" while still giving me her #. I felt like an idiot and of course afterwards thought I shouldve said something else. Shortly after this I was sitting next to her and she was non-responsive to my attempts at holding her hand or putting my arm around her, etc. Feeling very discouraged now, frustrated and upset that I mightve fvcked things up, I smoothly got up said I was tired and had a long day and left shortly after all this. I felt like I was getting no signs that she was interested be it whether she is shy or not interested, it discouraged me either way. And from her being so non-responsive (neither embracing my attempts to make physical contact with her, nor showing a disinterest in such moves) and her response to my seemingly foolish way of getting her phone #, so I thought it time to leave. I went and got wasted at a bar a few of my friends were at, watched them do karaoke, and ended up having a pretty damn good night. I decided I wasnt upset that she wasnt interested, and reassured myself that I didnt want to let any girl become a higher priority than the things in my life I have been getting accomplished, and have been making me feel real good about lately. I keep reminding myself not to be so shortsighted and to look at the big picture and my real goals. I dont want to let myself obsess over ANYONE. So Tuesday comes and I pick up my friend and we go out to the causeway for our tuesday night jog. He tells me that this girl called him to get my phone # and tried to call me the day be4, on monday. I am gone from 9 am to 9 pm during the week and didnt get the call. So now I am once again confused and once again just as interested as be4. I didnt call her back at all during the week and she called me on friday night at about 9 to come hang out with the crew. I told her I just got home, which I did, and was going to get in the shower and call her back as I wasnt sure what I was doing for teh night if anything. I called her back bout an hour later and told her I was tired and just going to crash for the night. She said ok and suggested maybe hanging out the following night (which wouldve been last night). Id already decided earlier in the week I wasnt hanging out with her this weekend, and didnt hang out last night.


So now Im not really sure what to do next and am looking for a little advice. I dont want to put the full-court press on her and scare her off, as she has still made things pretty cloudy regarding her interest level, but I dont want to stay waiting back for too long, to the point where things get awkward. I dont know how anyone else would be able to tell her interest level if I am the one who knows her and I cant tell, but I have given a good amount of the details regarding the situation and I know there is some more experienced of people out here that might be able to give me a little direction.


She has not resonded, either good or bad, to me making obvious moves on her to make physical contact, she gave me her phone # but didnt seem overly interested at talking, however she called my friend for my # and called me 2 days later, has told her friend she is interested in me but however she has not shown shes overly interested when we're hanging out in person. I thought it was a good time to back off a bit this weekend, and am now presenting the sitution to all of you "DJs" out there to possibly give me a little advice or direction that I am not picking up on.


EDIT: I think it is somewhat important to add that although she has a very intriguing personality things are getting somewhat boring hanging out at the same spot each weekend. We are trying to get these girls to get out and do something but are having problems finding anything theyre interested in. Its beginning to get hard to be creative each friday and saturday night and this is another big reason I chose not hang out this past weekend. I want both of us to still want to hang out with eachother, and not get bored while I am trying to figure this girl out. Nnot an easy feat when I cant find something she likes to do. i am into her enoguh that I dont care if she just likes hanging out each weekend, I feel if things progress right that wont matter and we will find things to do. But right now, things are getting more and more boring each weekend as far as the setting goes, and the more she confuses me into not knowing whether to give her more space or eliminate some of that space between us, the more things will get boring and awkward. Pretty soon a serious move will be made, no matter how she responds, but I want her to make things more clear 1st so I make the right move, I suppose

 

[penkitten]

it sounds like she is interested in you,
perhaps she really doesnt like the phone, however gave you her number hoping to hear from you, she may not love the phone but still wants you to call
when you didnt call, she found your number and called you.. she is asking you to hang out.. shes interested!
perhaps with the hand holding , she didnt notice you wanted to hold her hand or isnt used to holding hands yet, if she has never had a boyfriend.

 

[shark]

It seems like you have good self-control. You should know and believe that if things don't work out with her, you'll be just fine. Instead of wasting time get to the point. Tell her your interested with her, and want to hang out. Add that your taking her somewhere or doing something fun and go to the place YOU want to. If she doesn't like it, she's not the girl for you. If she does, score.

Just make or break this relationship asap, no good to drag stuff like this on for weeks. Us DJ's are better then that..right!?!

 

[incognito42]

Originally posted by shark
It seems like you have good self-control. You should know and believe that if things don't work out with her, you'll be just fine. Instead of wasting time get to the point. Tell her your interested with her, and want to hang out. Add that your taking her somewhere or doing something fun and go to the place YOU want to. If she doesn't like it, she's not the girl for you. If she does, score.

Just make or break this relationship asap, no good to drag stuff like this on for weeks. Us DJ's are better then that..right!?!

Think I just needed some reassurance. This was exactly the way I was thinking, but I think something about her meakes me a little cautious and unsure. We'll see how things turn out

 

[cant think of a user name]

KARAOKE + DRINKS = FUN

 

[incognito42]

A little update...


I decided I wasn't even going to give this girl a try, even though she is the only girl Ive met that has been worth the time and effort since I broke up with my gf. I have more important priorities to concentrate on (something I decided shortly after breaking up with ex-b*tch). I decided I would still chill with them girls but lose this imfatuation(sp?) I had with this girl and look at her like any other.


So it's been a couple weeks since my last post. We chilled about a week ago, had a pretty good time but her friend(who my friend is obviously connecting with) was once again more talkative with me than she was, but no big deal.

So earlier this week I call her up, and her phone is off. So she calls me back on her friends phone and we talk for a few minutes. I ask her how exams were and just the usual BS, and end up asking her if they want to chill on friday. She says yes and shortly after her friend gets another call and she has to go. So friday comes, and I call this girl around 9, after I got off. She's her usual, unusually bubbly self on the phone. Answering with a big Heeeeey. She says that her and her 3 gfs just started chilling/drinking, and we go on to talk for a few minutes where she mentions one of the girls a couple of times(2 of the 3 I hadnt met). Sshe says things like "so and so is cute, I want you to meet her", or something similar. So after a few minutes of talking she asks if Im coming over to where theyre at and I say Im sorry but I was chilling with my cousin for my b-day and that I wanted to chill the next day(saturday). She says thats coool and I tell her Ill call her sometime the following afternoon.

The next day, saturday, I call her around noon and she is rearranging her friends room with, her friend. So I keep it short, tell her Ill cal her later on, and we set something up for later that night. I call her up around 8 and we talk for a couple minutes, and she happens tro mention her friend(the one I havent met) again. I call my friend(wingman) and he says he's not chilling, he says that the on girl is talking about him meeting her mom and he wants to back off a little. I must admit I was slightly intimidated going over there to chill with 4 females, 2 of which I havent met, bymyself. Plus I wanted to go out to my cousins condo later that night to celebrate my b-day at midnight. I didnt want to diss them again 2 nights in a row, so I decided I would go by for a little bit, take some shots with these girls and go hang out with my boys. I ended up staying there for a couple hours, in which I talked more with the girl I hadnt met who the girl I was attracted to mentioned on the phone, than with anyone else. In fact, I talked very little with the girl I liked, but no big deal I was trying to have agood time(which I did) and not worried about that girl anymore thanI shouldve been. Shortly be4 leaving I ask the girl my friend was hollering at, to take a shot with me for my b-day. She says "its your b-day!?"very enthusiasticly. I told her not till tomorrow and she said we needed to chill tomoroow(tonight), for my real b-day. She asks how old I was turning(in which I knew she knew the answer to) and I tell her 19. She continues to enthusiastically say she cant believe Im 18(which she's said be4), and asks her friend if I look 18. Her friend ssays she thought I was 22 or 21. Frankly I find it really funny when people say this, as someone has actually guessed I was as old as 24 be4, because I REALLY DONT look that old at all, honestly. She tells her friend she should strip tomorrow for my b-day. So I jumped right in and mimiced what she said. She hesistently said she would(and Im kinda glad she hesistated/thoguht about it for a second). And at this point I left. I now was happy that I had previously decided to lose my imfatuation with the girl I barely talked to that night, and was glad I went over there and had a good time anyway.

That night I went on to finish off my bottle of Patron, with a couple of my friends(1 of whom was the guy who introduced me to these girls and who also is getting closer and closer to hooking up with one of the girls). So we finish the bottle and decide we didnt want to drive to the beach that late(about 12 at night), and instead go to the strip club. On the way there, I tell my friend what happened earlier(since he decided not to go), and he shows me a picture on his phone. btw, the girl he is talking with and the girl I HAD the thing for live together now. Now remember, the girl I was attracted to is 16, a virgin, and never had a bf. The main reason I backed off this girl (or never REALLY attempted to make a move) was because I didnt have the time to get through the brick wall she puts between all guys, without threatening the things I had decided were the highest priorities right now in my life. So anyway, on the wway to the strip club my friend shows me a picture that the girl he is talking to, sent him earlier that dya when he was at work. She sent him a picture of her biting on her friend's(the 16 yo virgin) nipple. Ok now you can forget about all the higher priorities BS, this birl became important again after seeing that pic. Maybe it isnt as impossible to crackthrough her force field as I though, and as her friend previously said. So we went to the strip-club, had a great time(like that even needs tyo be mentioned) and I go back to my friends watch some Chapelle-s Show Season 2 DVD and go home and go to sleep.

I wake up(yesterday morning in real time) and this girl calls me maybe 30 minutes later. She asks what Im doing and yada ya, gives me a happy b-day and asks if we're still chilling later on. I say sure and that Im going out to eat with my mom later but will call her after. So later on she calls a few minutes after I get home from dinner with my mom. Be4 anything else she startes talking about her friend again(the one she mentioned a couple times be4 when we'd talked on the phone, the one I met the night be4 and who promised to strip that night for my b-day). She starts saying how sexy her friends legs are, and says she has a nice ghetto booty because I guess she was in a towel just outta the shower. She then mentions her friend is pretty, and i stop her and say she sounds like shes getting a little too excited. She giggles and then starts saying how she wants to hook me up with her. She(16 yo) says she isnt chilling that night because she has some othe rbusiness to take care of, and that it will be just me and this other girl and my friend and their other friend(the one he's hollerin at). We get off the phone and I realize I wished me friend hadnt shown me that pic. This girl has once again got me confused and yes, frustrated. I am slightly attracted to this girl she is hooking me up with but nowhere hear as attracted to the person this other girl is.

 

[incognito42]

......
So this is where I stood to this point. I wanted to have a really good time for my b-day that night. I wanted it to be with this girl I was really intereste din. This girl Im really interested in is now attempting to hook me up with this other girl who I am slightly interested in, and she has purposely made it so that we will be chilling alone that night. I am thinking to myself, if I throw it down on this girl tonight, will I have a chance with this other girl anymore? Do I even have a chance with her anymore anyway, considering shes trying to hook me up with her friend? Could she possibly get more interested from hearing I had a really good time with her friend that she hooked me up with? If I hook up with her friend, will I be able to still try and holler at this girl I really wanna have a relationship with when she thinks I like her friend? If I dont hook up with her friend, how much will I be kicking myself later on when I find out she isnt interested and is just trying to hook me up with her friend the whole time? So I really dont know what to do, I feel like if I try and enjoy myself tonight(last night) and hook up with her friend that she is hooking me up with(who is going to strip for me) I will have no chance with her naymore. I feel like there is a possibility that I dont do anything with this girl, which wouldnt be as good of a b-day as if I did, and that I could be pursuing an unattainable object.

So basically when we hang up the phone Im debating with myself how much I REALLY like this girl, and try and decipher whether each hint or clue she's thrown at me has been a smoke screen, game, or genuine interest and attraction. There has been plenty of evidence that she is interested in me, or has been at one time. There is also a lot of clues Ive taken notice to that could mean shes not interested, most notably her trying to hook me up with her friend. I am actually at this point completely perplexed at how much this 16 yo girl has got me thinking. I am almost laughing to myself at how attractive she has made herself to me, by simply confusing the he!! ouut of me.

So a couple hours later I scoop up my friend and head over to chill with these 2 girls. When I get there, this girl I am interested in is there, instead of the girl she was trying to hook me up with 2 hours earlier(who was supposed to be striping). She said the other girl wasnt feeling well and that she handled the business that was supposed to be keeping her away for the night. I was pretty releived.

Im still continuing to get these hints from this girl, catching her staring at me or looking at me a few seconds long enough to make it noticable, and she is talking with me and keeping the conversation going longer than usual. She also likes to go to the bathroom A LOT with her friend, something she has done since the 1st time we chilled. So finally I just kinda said **** it, and told me friend the games are over. When they got back from the bathroom she sat down by me and her friend sat back by my friend. I decided I wasnt going to let her make me wonder anymore, I was going to stop trying to figure her out and just make amove that would figure things out itself. I put my hand on her leg casually as we were all talking, and slightly rubbed her thigh for maybe a minute or 2. During this time she was still laughing and talking. A couple mimnutes later she was asking her frienda unt to strip for me for my b-day and as she was asking she was putting her hand on my leg, nothing over the top but noticable compared to how shed been acting up till then. A couple minutes later I put my hand on hers and after a few seconds she got up and walked across the room to her friend and my friend. At his point nothing she does surprises me anymore so I just kinda went with it. She grabbed her friends phone and took a picture of me. She stayed sitting over by her friend for a little while, maybe 20-30 minutes. And eventually made her way back over by me. For the rest of the night I didnt try any more kino and she didnt either. Nothing else changed though. I was still flirting with her, she was still staring and smiling at times and doing other such little things. We had some good conversation and she asked me to take her home(this was a 1st). I took her home and we talked on the ride, I asked her what she had lined up for this week and she said pretty much nothing all week. I told her we should chill on thursday, she said that sounded good and she would talk to her friend. Of course I want to just chill with her, but I think she knows that but still mentioned her friend. I dont wanna seem to eager so I dont tell her I want to just chill with her. But I didsuggest we do something different and bring up the movies. This is the best place I could think to bring her, because it has become obvious to me she is either not interested or just really shy, and Im thinking shes really shy until she comes out and makes it obvious that she snot interested. She says she doesnt like the movies and she'll fall asleep(which shes said be4). So I say we will find something she likes to do(which Ive said be4). So then she says maybe well go to the beach sometime this summer.


I know this sounds/is extensive. But I am trying to add a lot of detail so that anyone who has read everything in this thread might be able to give better perspective as an outside eye looking in on this situation. So does anyone else think they can tell what is up with this girl, or is anyone else finding her confusing as all hell like me

 

[Sammo]

All this thinking and over analysing has killed you man!

MAKE THE HO SAY NO

 

[JSH]

I want the 5 minutes of my life back that reading this thread has cost me.

A synopsis of what you said: there is this hot virgin girl about whom i know very little and i like her. But im not sure if she likes me, my friend . . . her friend . . .. So we just flirted a little.

Either do what Sammo said "make the ho say no", ie push her boundaries or drop her. You are becomming obsessed.

And you can shorten your posts, we dont need to know your whole life.

 

[incognito42]

I agree with both of you. This girl is changing me and my thought patterns. I have obviously done a couple things wrong here. I feel like a big *****. I think that is a good sign. A good sign to do something about all this ***** behavior. As much as all her mixed signals have peaked my interest in her, Im going to just put it all out there and end all of this. No matter what happens it will be better than where Im at now.

 

[undesputable]

god damn, youre posts are so damn long.

 

[Flabbergasped?]

I like your thesis paper.

Next time you hang out, kino her to high heaven. I mean, the works, rub her thigh, massage her back, put your arm around her waist at opportune times. Can't stop, won't stop.

If she softens up, you're good to go. If not, next her. Sure, she's hot or whatever, but she smokes and drinks, and she's wasting your time with her feminine improprieties. Take up an instrument or do some exercise, dammimt, stop contemplating what she thinks. Since when has that mattered???

 

[MetalFortress]

I'd bust out Colin if I remembered the image URL.

Do a set of 20 rep squats, then go for her.

 

[Void]

is everyone on sosuave having the same ****ing problem! I know im having a similar one. anyways back to you.

I'll tell you man, you'll feel better if you try. I tried and failed, but i still feel better than i did in the past.

Go for it, you'll feel relieved. And stop thinking about it! I know it's hard, but do something...watch tv or something! Don't be me, and think about it WHILE watching Tv!!

And...this 16 yo girl, sounds like she wants to have sex. With you? Hopefully. Just go for it, no strings attached, and then go for the one that'll strip for you. Sound fun?

 

[Morgan]

Better yet Be like me call her wile she works leave a message and forgett to leave your number. I messed uo with the girl I liked big time, the world is a mean cruel place.

 

[incognito42]

I called her on Tuesday, no answer

Called on Thursday, no answer

She called on Friday when I was at the gym

I called the # back but apparently she was calling from her friends phone. Friend answers(friend that my friends hooking up with) and tells me to come over there because other friend(one they were trying to hook me up with) is going to give me a lap dance. (O and I found out earlier in the week this girl has a bf) So I say, O you mean the friend with a bf? She kinda giggles and says they broke up. So this girl gets on the phone and tells me to come over because she owes me a lap dance and she was too sick on my b-day to chill. I told her she was supposed to strip, she says thats kool too and she was a stripper for 2 years(dont know how this works out since shes 19). But since I called on Tuesday I was planning on being str8 up with the girl I had the crush on and telling her how I felt. She was over there with them but unfortunately I called and talked to her other 2 friends. So I told them I was tired and was just getting home from work and was going to chill at my house.


So the next day I call this girl up and she doesnt answer, again. I go out and do a few things and she calls when Im not home. So i call back and shes doing her hair and leaving for work, and shes with a couple of her friends, seems in a hurry so I dont say much. Now Im really pszd, because I planned on letting her know how I felt regardless of anything but again I seem to have bad timing when I call. I go to the movies and come home and sit there contimplating calling her friend(the one my friends hookin up with, who she also lives with) for about 10 minutes. I keep telling myself how bad of an idea it will be to talk to her friend about how I feel be4 her, but Im sick of all the BS and I really dont care anymore if she hears everything Im about to say from her friend. So I call her, and after a couple minutes of talking I tell her that Im not interested in their other friend theyre trying to hook me up with and that Im sure she already knows this but Im interested in her other friend that she lives with. I tell her Im not sure what to do, Im constantly being confused by her friend and never know what her friends thinking. I explain to her that I was calling her, because her friend was trying to hook me up with someone else and that makes it seem kinda obvious she probably isnt interested. So she tells me that her friend does this to a lot of guys(confuses them unintentionally) and that she is really attracted to me (actually saying that her friend thinks Im really hot). But that her friend isnt really into guys yet(not from a dyke standpoint but a never having a bf standpoint). Then she tells me that she IS talking to another guy now, and its this girl Im talking tos brother. She tells me its ok that I called and I can call anytime.

So now I really feel relieved. Things didnt go the way I wanted them to. Im still feeling kinda whack for talking to her friend, but I came out of the conversation feeling a lot bette rthan I thought I could have. I think its still very possible to hook up with her if I keep at it, but honestly I dont care to anymore. Im at apoint where Im focusing on things I want to do with my life and have no time for a girl to be taking up thoughts in my head. I know I rarely find girls I think that are worth the time and effort but I know its best for me to let this one go. Let my thoughts of her fade out, and worry about the things that are more important. I dont care that her friend will be telling her that I called her. Im going to keep my distance now for a bit, talk with a couple other girls I have very little interest in to take my mind off her, and then possibly chill with them some more as I know I will be invited over when my friend is chilling with them and they want to chill. I wont make hooking up with her a priority that leaves me frustrated or discouraged when she is unintentionally leading me on, and if she decides shes interested enough to make a move than so be it.

Anyways, thats the end to this story. Not a great ending for those of you who have read this novel, but an ending that has left me satisfied because Im able to move on. I know Ive been ripped already on here, and I probably will again by someone who reads this but I really dont care. This girl led me here, and I have little interest in posting in these forums now that this is over. So these seemingly overexpressed points were all worth it considering I have minimal interest in posting about anything here pationately anymore. Thanks for the advice some gave, it really helped. I may not have handled every situation the way I should have but Im not upset about anything Ive done with her. I made it obvious I was interested, used plenty of kino but not too much and tried asking her out to do things a couple of times all without seeming too eager. I now know she IS interested at some level (something I was neever SURE about) and my interest is very low, this is a good things. Anyways, Ill stop rambling on now and end this. If anything unexpected happens I will post for those who have read all of this and may find it interesting

 

[Plane]

WOW that was the most I have read since I got out of school

Hmmm wierd how she triedto get you with her friend so much

You wrote a 13 page paper when its double spaced btw

 

[MiKe23]

Dude I am in the SAME EXACT situation as you. The girls we like are exactly the same and everything, I am probably going even more crazy than you are...Man dont feel bad for being like that

 

[mvp21]

take it SLOW with her if shes never had a bf ur in uncharted waters so u got to take it nice an easy an it will all work out

 

[JSH]

i cant even read that, my eyes are swimming. You write too much and think to o much. Just go for it.