Whats up guys, I'm brand new to the boards, hope to soak up some knowledge from those in the know. I'll give ya a quick rundown on me and my current "confusing situation" I'll do my best to try and write a novel.
I'm about 27. I've been doing basically the wrong thing with women for ummmm 26 years of my life until recently. Which is, beta/ wuss/ whatever you want to call it, behavior. My mom wears the pants in the relationship,....this stems from my grandmother,......my 3 aunts have it as well. Basically if you don't do want they want, life will be hell, therefore my dad, uncles, and grandfather have basically followed the "happy wife, happy life" mantra, .......which obviously doesn't work too well, as everyone knows, and I can attest to that daily.
So basically my mother raised me to be a "good husband" not a good boyfriend, lover, or what have you. Put the women on the pedistol, and basically cator to her every whimsical need and desire, and almost out think her, in the sense you know her every need and desire and do it b/f she even asks. You as the male are to be basically crapped upon and as a man, you show your man hood, by basically putting up with and taking it.
So long story short, leads me to my recent ex g/f.....and recently a lot of David Deangelo reading. Basically I was the ultra nice guy with her, something that I actually liked and still sort of like doing in a way......its almost a messed up codependency thing, ......my happiness only stems from her happiness. Well b/c of a previous really crazy chick b/f her, (my ex b/f her ended up and married a guy that raped her.....needless to say it messed my head up quite a bit),.....I didn't date, or do anything period with a women for 6 years,..20 - 26, didn't think it would be fair to a woman coming into a relationship messed up in the head. However with this recent girl, I was determined to totally be myself and try to totally get to know her so that I wouldn't get decieved. And I was, Mr. Beta/Wuss of the year,.....and she actually totally loved me for it.......well at first,.........after a while she totally depsied me for it.
The low down on her, she's 21, and she dated two people seriously b/f. One guy from 15-20 who from when she was 18-20 when they lived together, physically abused her. Antoher guy when she was 20, for I think close to a year, who basically was like a spoiled little girl in a guy's body. And then me,......which was directly after the last guy........I guess I could be considered a rebound. Also to be noted, this girl just see's things differently than the majority of people,.....which I've now come to realize,........very self centered, and very immature about things. We're also in college together and come this fall we will see each other in the same classes 3 times a week.
So basically like I said, things were basically the best that I've ever had in a relationship, (only had 2 previous serious long term relationships previous to this), however basically one day, w/o warning she basically got feed up with me and her attitude did a 180. I'm pretty sure it was my beta attitude,.....always giving to her, looking out for her needs and not my own,.......thus no adventure for her,............also you gotta take note that with her ex being an abuser I'm sure she has some self esteem issues, even though she was attracted to him b/f that........think some big tatted up bald brute you see in jail, with attitude and lifestyle to match. A guy such as him basically due to her low self estem hit the attraction button hard on her b/c girls like that, especially when they're young, love the emotional roller coaster ride, and would love to be the one to try to tame the un-tameable
Things were really good from Jan. - March, went bad starting in April, till mid May when school got out.......which leads to me recent events. Bascially our last day of school she had told a friend of mine that she wants me to leave her alone, that I wasn't her type, and that she's been really mean trying to get me to lay off, but doesn't want to come right out and tell me to lay off b/c she doens't want to hurt me or whatever. Which I straight out asked her if she wanted to end things previous to the last day of class, and she said " I think you know me better than that,.....I would come right out and tell you"
So after being intial crushed for a couple weeks, read some David Deangelo, (which was recommend to me by a friend that has some pretty good success).......and have some audio CD's of his and his advanced serries dvd's.....also have been signing up for different news letters from people, .....most off of cliff's list. So she didn't talk to me for about 3 weeks, then all of the sudden I get some calls and stuff, she's into another guy and was trying to make me into the gay guy friend.
I played the role for a little while to get some info. from her. She had made a comment about him that I particualarly found interesting. With me she would really be nasty if she didn't get her way, and of course I wanted to always make her happy, so I would placate her. However, she said something to the extent of .........yeah Mr. X isn't talking to me right now........I said why. She said,....well b/c he called me up to ask what bar I was at, and came there with another girl. However when all these guys were hitting on me and buying me drinks, I could tell he was mad, and he got up and left. I said to her,....your tone indicates that this is a good thing? She says ......well good and bad. Good b/c he puts me in my place, (or something along those lines).......bad b/c he won't open up and talk to about it to me.
I'll continue this in a second thread, b/c this is so long already, don't want anyone's eyes to bug out on me.
I'm about 27. I've been doing basically the wrong thing with women for ummmm 26 years of my life until recently. Which is, beta/ wuss/ whatever you want to call it, behavior. My mom wears the pants in the relationship,....this stems from my grandmother,......my 3 aunts have it as well. Basically if you don't do want they want, life will be hell, therefore my dad, uncles, and grandfather have basically followed the "happy wife, happy life" mantra, .......which obviously doesn't work too well, as everyone knows, and I can attest to that daily.
So basically my mother raised me to be a "good husband" not a good boyfriend, lover, or what have you. Put the women on the pedistol, and basically cator to her every whimsical need and desire, and almost out think her, in the sense you know her every need and desire and do it b/f she even asks. You as the male are to be basically crapped upon and as a man, you show your man hood, by basically putting up with and taking it.
So long story short, leads me to my recent ex g/f.....and recently a lot of David Deangelo reading. Basically I was the ultra nice guy with her, something that I actually liked and still sort of like doing in a way......its almost a messed up codependency thing, ......my happiness only stems from her happiness. Well b/c of a previous really crazy chick b/f her, (my ex b/f her ended up and married a guy that raped her.....needless to say it messed my head up quite a bit),.....I didn't date, or do anything period with a women for 6 years,..20 - 26, didn't think it would be fair to a woman coming into a relationship messed up in the head. However with this recent girl, I was determined to totally be myself and try to totally get to know her so that I wouldn't get decieved. And I was, Mr. Beta/Wuss of the year,.....and she actually totally loved me for it.......well at first,.........after a while she totally depsied me for it.
The low down on her, she's 21, and she dated two people seriously b/f. One guy from 15-20 who from when she was 18-20 when they lived together, physically abused her. Antoher guy when she was 20, for I think close to a year, who basically was like a spoiled little girl in a guy's body. And then me,......which was directly after the last guy........I guess I could be considered a rebound. Also to be noted, this girl just see's things differently than the majority of people,.....which I've now come to realize,........very self centered, and very immature about things. We're also in college together and come this fall we will see each other in the same classes 3 times a week.
So basically like I said, things were basically the best that I've ever had in a relationship, (only had 2 previous serious long term relationships previous to this), however basically one day, w/o warning she basically got feed up with me and her attitude did a 180. I'm pretty sure it was my beta attitude,.....always giving to her, looking out for her needs and not my own,.......thus no adventure for her,............also you gotta take note that with her ex being an abuser I'm sure she has some self esteem issues, even though she was attracted to him b/f that........think some big tatted up bald brute you see in jail, with attitude and lifestyle to match. A guy such as him basically due to her low self estem hit the attraction button hard on her b/c girls like that, especially when they're young, love the emotional roller coaster ride, and would love to be the one to try to tame the un-tameable
Things were really good from Jan. - March, went bad starting in April, till mid May when school got out.......which leads to me recent events. Bascially our last day of school she had told a friend of mine that she wants me to leave her alone, that I wasn't her type, and that she's been really mean trying to get me to lay off, but doesn't want to come right out and tell me to lay off b/c she doens't want to hurt me or whatever. Which I straight out asked her if she wanted to end things previous to the last day of class, and she said " I think you know me better than that,.....I would come right out and tell you"
So after being intial crushed for a couple weeks, read some David Deangelo, (which was recommend to me by a friend that has some pretty good success).......and have some audio CD's of his and his advanced serries dvd's.....also have been signing up for different news letters from people, .....most off of cliff's list. So she didn't talk to me for about 3 weeks, then all of the sudden I get some calls and stuff, she's into another guy and was trying to make me into the gay guy friend.
I played the role for a little while to get some info. from her. She had made a comment about him that I particualarly found interesting. With me she would really be nasty if she didn't get her way, and of course I wanted to always make her happy, so I would placate her. However, she said something to the extent of .........yeah Mr. X isn't talking to me right now........I said why. She said,....well b/c he called me up to ask what bar I was at, and came there with another girl. However when all these guys were hitting on me and buying me drinks, I could tell he was mad, and he got up and left. I said to her,....your tone indicates that this is a good thing? She says ......well good and bad. Good b/c he puts me in my place, (or something along those lines).......bad b/c he won't open up and talk to about it to me.
I'll continue this in a second thread, b/c this is so long already, don't want anyone's eyes to bug out on me.