"Quality" women are a by-product of Real Men

[STR8UP]

In Joekerr's thread I stated that the most important ingredient in a successful long term relationship is the MAN always being a MAN. As soon as a woman sees you as anything less, she's either GONE, or she's looking for another branch.

Iqqi replied with this-

Lol, and choosing a woman with strength and morals is not an important ingredient? You can't turn a h0 into a housewife.

Many of you know that I don't buy in the whole black and white "quality" vs "low quality" woman myth. Rollo and others tend to agree.

So when iqqi replied to my post, I started thinking.

I know that a woman seeing her man as a Man is a HUGE factor in the health and vitality of a relationship. It is arguably THE most important factor. When iqqi posted her reply, I started to put two and two together and realized that Quality women are a by-product of Real Men.

This isn't to say that you can polish a turd into a diamond, but all in all women are pretty "average". They all have their good and bad points. There are very VERY few who stand head and shoulders above the crowd. Those who DO tend to get snapped up pretty quickly.

I'm not saying that you should settle for mediocre, but finding these very unique women is more a matter of luck than anything else, and if you truly WANT to be involved in a relationship with ANY woman, it is IMPERATIVE that you keep your game face on AT ALL TIMES.

I think we as men tend to wish that women would behave in a way that is not consistent with nature, but the fact of the matter is, they are gonna choose a man based upon "feelings" over which they hold no control. I am guilty of this myself at times.

As Rollo says, "Don't wish the game were easier, wish you were better".

Fact of the matter is, I have met Rollo on several occasions, and he is just about the only person I know who seems to have a truly great marriage. I look at him and others who I have observed who seem to be happy, and the common denominator is ALWAYS that the man in the relationship does not let down his guard and become complacent, which is probably the BIGGEST cause for a woman to lose interest in a relationship.

Basically what I am proposing here is that you don't necessarily have to find that "crowning jewel" of a woman. This is a man's equivalent of a woman finding her "knight in shining armor". We blame women for buying into a fairy tale, but are us men any better?

By becoming a Man, and retaining your status as a Man, you essentially become this proverbial "knight in shining armor". YOU CAN'T CHANGE WOMEN! But you can change yourself into something that a woman will MOLD herself around.

Women are shape shifting creatures. They LONG to (actually they LIVE to) find a Man who they can wrap themselves around, a solid, unwavering form that they can use to build an identity for themselves, to establish their place in the world.

So it all comes down to this. To attract a decent woman, you have to at least "appear" to be a Man. But to have and hold a great relationship, you must FOLLOW THROUGH with your sales pitch.

The better you are at "following through", the better "quality" your woman will turn out to be.

 

[ketostix]

I was thinking that a key thing is you have to lead a woman and mold her. Your frame has to be stronger so that she eventually adopts your frame. Overtime you mold her into the woman you want her to be. If she won't fit into the mold she can leave or maybe you will decide to leave her.

 

[iqqi]

I agree with a lot of your post, but I find error in ever thinking a person becomes great due to another person.

A person becomes "real" or "quality" through themselves. Through facing their own challenges, and learning their own lessons. Finding out who they are. Shaping themselves.

I think a REAL man compliments and makes a QUALITY woman better. And vice versa.

But a real man doesn't make a quality woman, and a quality woman doesn't make a real man. Kind of like how a man with a great mother has a good chance of being a REAL man, thanks in part to her. But a man without a quality mother still can become a real man, but he must learn his own lessons, and find himself.

Does that make sense? I am kind of rushing my thoughts out.

NOONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR NOONE BUT THEMSELVES.

 

[reset]

An unquality woman (or two) can turn an AFC into a quality man though.

 

[STR8UP]

I was thinking that a key thing is you have to lead a woman and mold her. Your frame has to be stronger so that she eventually adopts your frame. Overtime you mold her into the woman you want her to be. If she won't fit into the mold she can leave or maybe you will decide to leave her.

Yes, a woman wants to ENTER YOUR WORLD, not vice versa.

That's not to say that she does not influence you, but a woman wants to find a man she can look up to, who will show her HIS world. She wants to be the queen sitting at the throne next to her king.

I still firmly believe that a woman establishes her identity by association. She feels her "place" in the world is dictated primarily by her man, and secondarily by the rest of her social circle.

Women seek status the same as men, but they pursue it THROUGH their man. Their man has status, they attach themselves to that.

This is not to be confused with FAME. Women tend to seek fame on their own accord, but it's different than status.

So the key is to become the anchor the mooring that a woman sees as being strong enough to attach herself to. If she feels as if you might break loose in turbulent waters, she's going to seek a stronger anchor.

As Joekerr was saying....you can't show weakness or she will bail.

 

[iqqi]

Yes, a woman wants to ENTER YOUR WORLD, not vice versa.

That's not to say that she does not influence you, but a woman wants to find a man she can look up to, who will show her HIS world. She wants to be the queen sitting at the throne next to her king.

I still firmly believe that a woman establishes her identity by association. She feels her "place" in the world is dictated primarily by her man, and secondarily by the rest of her social circle.

Women seek status the same as men, but they pursue it THROUGH their man. Their man has status, they attach themselves to that.

This is not to be confused with FAME. Women tend to seek fame on their own accord, but it's different than status.

So the key is to become the anchor the mooring that a woman sees as being strong enough to attach herself to. If she feels as if you might break loose in turbulent waters, she's going to seek a stronger anchor.

As Joekerr was saying....you can't show weakness or she will bail.

Ok. This is what I have issue with.

SOME women do have identity issues, which is what you just described ^^^.


However, WHY do you want a woman who defines herself through others!? Do you really think that is ALL that exists? Weak, undefined women?

If the answer to that is yes, I will let you continue on in your dissection of how to be a REAL man who defines those around him.

However I must state now that I think a REAL man knows better than to think he is the defining factor of anyone else.

You are placing responsibility on the wrong factors (being a "king") and not placing any on the right factors (the choices you make in who you "hold court with"). I think those two factors do go hand in hand. BOTH factors are important, not just one.

EDIT: I lied, I am not done, lol. I plan on a lengthy post in this thread entitled "the h0 vs housewife" rule.

 

[Interceptor]

Femenine Women DO Want to 'align' themselves with strong Masculine Men, and their Masculine Energy.

Polarity trumps pretty much everything.

 

[potato]

the most important ingredient in a successful long term relationship is the MAN always being a MAN.

Compatibility is far more important. You can be all the man you think you need to be but if you and the woman see the world differently and/or want to engage in activities that the other objects to the relationship isn’t going to last very long.

…finding these very unique women is more a matter of luck than anything else, and if you truly WANT to be involved in a relationship with ANY woman, it is IMPERATIVE that you keep your game face on AT ALL TIMES.

There isn’t a “unique woman” that is universal. Rather there is a specific type of woman for each man that isn’t necessarily specifically unique to the next man. Often times finding a unique women is a matter of luck but if a man stays true to himself then his chances of running into his specific type of unique women is greatly enhanced. It’s not so much that you have to keep your game face on as much as you have to be that man that the woman is attracted to. If you are just putting on a game face, she will eventually see through it.

I was thinking that a key thing is you have to lead a woman and mold her. Your frame has to be stronger so that she eventually adopts your frame. Overtime you mold her into the woman you want her to be. If she won't fit into the mold she can leave or maybe you will decide to leave her.

If you think that you are going to mold a woman into what you want, you will be forever frustrated.

 

[iqqi]

This is what I don't quite understand the economics about. If there are a very few women who stand head and shoulders above the crowd, then I would like to believe that there are a similar number of men who stand head and shoulders above the crowd.

So technically it is not possible for an above the average woman to get snapped up quickly, because she should be getting snapped up by an above the average man. BUt if they get snapped up quickly, then its very clear that the chances they got snapped up by an above the average man is very low. (due to the rarity) Hence mostly, they just get snapped up for being a woman by average guys... which doesn't make them above the average!

I hope this is not too confusing.

I know exactly what you are saying, and I agree completely.

Hope you don't mind, lol.

And YES, guys, we women also feel like there just aren't any good men left... or they are all gay! (JK, but I KNOW you've heard that sentiment).

 

[Señor Fingers]

Quality women are a by-product of their own personal development.

Before she even gets a VIP pass into your world, she has to have done her homework! This requires a zero-tolerance policy for immature BS, attention hoes or psycho-slvts. It also requires you to know exactly what you are looking for and not settle for less.

Once she makes the cut, it's time to "break her in" and train her. She is not perfect, but she needs to understand your boundaries and the type of behavior you will and will not tolerate. (If she is a good fit, be prepared to get "broken in" a bit yourself.)

Although you are the dominant half of the puzzle, in a healthy relationship you actually shape each other. Your good (and even bad) habits should be compatible so that when they do rub off, a balance is achieved.

Chemistry is also crucial.. not just personality wise, but the physical connection has to be there. Some people (no matter how "real" or "quality") just don't make much of a spark together and that's just the way it is.

It really is a difficult balance to strike.. with so many variables to consider, finding the right woman at the right time is a lot like winning the lottery.

The trouble is that a lot of us either hold onto losing tickets for far too long, or don't have the necessary instincts to recognize a winner when we see one.

 

[MacAvoy]

Senor,

You don't post often but I love the aspect that you bring to the thread. You always bring a fresh perspective/angle that is bang on. I'd say that Victory Unlimited is the same way.

 

[guru1000]

I agree with the fact that women can be groomed into Quality. I say this only because I am doing this now and have done it before. There are other women who are groomed already, either through a strict upbringing or an ex who was a MAN.

Directing, leading, setting BOUNDARIES is key. I run a STRICT SHIP, and when a woman enters my SHIP , she KNOWS she must behave and respect.

Women and Men will always TEST to see your tolerance and reaction. This is universal and a boundary test. Give no room, keep a tight ship and express your boundaries with conviction. This is the essense of keeping a woman at bay.

 

[iqqi]

Give no room, keep a tight ship and express your boundaries with conviction. This is the essense of keeping a woman at bay.

Guru.... "at bay" means away.

 

[guru1000]

Guru.... "at bay" means away.

Not in Brooklyn.

 

[mrRuckus]

the common denominator is ALWAYS that the man in the relationship does not let down his guard and become complacent, which is probably the BIGGEST cause for a woman to lose interest in a relationship.

Sounds like slavery to me. Forever on call. BEEP BEEP BEEP woman needs attended to.

Meanwhile the woman kicks her feet up and relaxes.

 

[STR8UP]

Sounds like slavery to me. Forever on call. BEEP BEEP BEEP woman needs attended to.

Meanwhile the woman kicks her feet up and relaxes.

Very good point.

But it doesn't change the fact that it is what it is.

If you happen to be one of the lucky ones who escaped societal conditioning, or maybe you had a male role model who taught you how to be a Man, you're on easy street. For the rest of us, you can study this stuff all you want but until you either change yourself completely, or at least learn to correct yourself when you veer off path, you are headed for disaster when dealing with a relationship.

It's SOOOOO easy for even the most masculine man to become complacent in a relationship. Us men no longer HAVE to go out and prove our manhood by hunting and fighting hostile tribes. We go to work and "fight" in that aspect. then we come home hoping that we can relax and forget about being Mr. Masculine, but we CAN'T. We no longer have to perform the tasks that we did in the past that would negate the need for displays of masculinity in our off time. Now we have to compensate by ensuring that what a woman DOES see of us is congruent with her perception of a real Man.

 

[STR8UP]

Ok. This is what I have issue with.

SOME women do have identity issues, which is what you just described ^^^.

Any woman who is worth my time (read- FEMININE woman) does to an extent define herself based upon securing a high value male.

Why do you think that the Pook adage "A woman would rather share a successful man then be chained to a faithful loser" holds true"?

These aren't necessarily "low value, low self esteem" women without options.

You will never see this because you believe that you can't admit to this for fear of being seen as weak, but it's true.

 

[KarmaSutra]

If you happen to be one of the lucky ones who escaped societal conditioning, or maybe you had a male role model who taught you how to be a Man, you're on easy street. For the rest of us, you can study this stuff all you want but until you either change yourself completely, or at least learn to correct yourself when you veer off path, you are headed for disaster when dealing with a relationship.

I think it's difficult for ANY man, regardless of his upbringing, to keep his head above water. Easy Street is the road taken by those boy-men who rely on trickery and pickup tactics in order to put another notch on thier bedposts. It may work in the short term but never works to fulfillment.

It's SOOOOO easy for even the most masculine man to become complacent in a relationship. Us men no longer HAVE to go out and prove our manhood by hunting and fighting hostile tribes. We go to work and "fight" in that aspect. then we come home hoping that we can relax and forget about being Mr. Masculine, but we CAN'T. We no longer have to perform the tasks that we did in the past that would negate the need for displays of masculinity in our off time. Now we have to compensate by ensuring that what a woman DOES see of us is congruent with her perception of a real Man.

I believe this is because we have no true rites of passage as boys to metamorphozise into men. We have a nonchalant transition but nothing to indicate when the exact moment comes when we dip our spear into the beating heart of the lion to confidently proclaim our own majesty as king.

We do not have the luxury of complacency and denial as men did in previous points of history. We are desperate for diligence and need to keep both eyes open for whatever may be headed our way or walking out the door with our sh!t.

 

[Create Reality]

TRIUMPHANT POST Mr. Str8up.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Such complicated thoughts for a simple subject. Men don't NEED nor SHOULD they ever have to be a certain way for a woman to perceive them as masculine.

Complacency is laziness..If you are a lazy person you are failing yourself.
You don't have to fight any tribes or hunt for any food unless you NEED to.

The only thing you have to do is grow as an individual...actually, now that I think about..you don't even have to keep growing as a man..you may be content with where you are and what you have already achieved.

The only thing you have to do as a man is KEEP BREATHING (and thats if YOU feel like it). Let all the feminine men actively seek out LONG term relationships or come up with ways to KEEP the LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP interesting for a woman. While YOU have control of your life and let women prove themselves and their worth to YOU.

Quality women ??? who gives a rats ass..any woman will do, if she starts to annoy you, drop her like a bad habit. You are who you are..whats with guys searching for that sacred quality woman ?? How about go through a ton of women and maybe there might be 1 or 2 that are cool enough to hang around you longer than the others, and thats if you allow them to do so.