Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
A lot of what I'm reading here is pretty much what I'd expect from guys trying to use reason in assessing what they'd consider worth exchanging a lifetime commitment for. Trust, integrity, loyalty, compatibility, basically anything that "sounds right". I've got news for you, none of that makes you anymore deep or pensive or "not like other guys" in your assessments. After 12.5 years of what anyone would esteem a very good marriage, I could sit here and pontificate about the merits of finding a 'good ole fashioned gal' from a solid family, loyal to a fault, to settle down with and move into a deeply satisfying urbane lifestyle, but I'd be just as full of sh!t.
The truth of it is, what are you willing to accept? What delusions, what mindsets, have you internalized or broken past up to this point in your life that are coloring your ideas about marriage? What I find funny about making lists like this is that they generally all contain simplistic truisms that no one is really going to challenge. Of course you want a good mother for your kids, of course you want a girl to stay in shape and sexy into her 50s, who wouldn't? Who's going to argue with 90% of these attributes that would make a woman acceptable for marriage?
Look at the preoccupation in this thread with de-emphasizing appearance or sexual requisites for a wife. We're Men, we have testosterone in our bloodstreams, yes it IS that important and NO you're not shallow for having this as a primary requirement. What's troubling is that in a forum consisting primarily of Men, and in relative anonymity, we think anyone would regard us as being 'shallow' for acknowledging this. In fact, any woman that downplays this need, any woman to utter the phrase "I don't see why sex is SOOO important to guys" should be instantly disqualified from being marriageable.
You see all these flowery declarations of acceptability for marriage ignore what the real compromise is. You are exchanging your future time, your future opportunities (not just sex, but life decisions), your future potential for a lifetime commitment of responsibility, accountability and liability to her - what makes her worth that exchange?
Great integrity, character, loyalty, all the truistic terms you can conjure still wont make her fat ass get to the gym after you've been together for 3 years. And all the sexy, slutty things she's learned over the course of her maturity won't make her any more loyal or 'wife-worthy' or a good mother.
The truth of it is, what are you willing to accept? What delusions, what mindsets, have you internalized or broken past up to this point in your life that are coloring your ideas about marriage? What I find funny about making lists like this is that they generally all contain simplistic truisms that no one is really going to challenge. Of course you want a good mother for your kids, of course you want a girl to stay in shape and sexy into her 50s, who wouldn't? Who's going to argue with 90% of these attributes that would make a woman acceptable for marriage?
Look at the preoccupation in this thread with de-emphasizing appearance or sexual requisites for a wife. We're Men, we have testosterone in our bloodstreams, yes it IS that important and NO you're not shallow for having this as a primary requirement. What's troubling is that in a forum consisting primarily of Men, and in relative anonymity, we think anyone would regard us as being 'shallow' for acknowledging this. In fact, any woman that downplays this need, any woman to utter the phrase "I don't see why sex is SOOO important to guys" should be instantly disqualified from being marriageable.
You see all these flowery declarations of acceptability for marriage ignore what the real compromise is. You are exchanging your future time, your future opportunities (not just sex, but life decisions), your future potential for a lifetime commitment of responsibility, accountability and liability to her - what makes her worth that exchange?
Great integrity, character, loyalty, all the truistic terms you can conjure still wont make her fat ass get to the gym after you've been together for 3 years. And all the sexy, slutty things she's learned over the course of her maturity won't make her any more loyal or 'wife-worthy' or a good mother.
