Q: Dude snapchatting my GF...

[JohnChops]

That was an error, OP. You should have said “yes.” When she asked If you wanted her to block. She lost some respect for you on that. Now you have to just ignore it to maintain congruency. Don’t bring it up ever again.

Yep I figured that’s what has to happen now.

Pretty much that is what im going to do @EyeBRollin , it didn't bother me that much and it seems like most people here think its harmless. The boundaries are set. If she breaks them, I walk away. It's simple. No need to speculate and spin the hamster wheel, thats for women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

First off, we have each others passwords just because what if we have to use each others phones, change a song, I don’t have my phone she doesn’t have hers. You’re blowing things out of proportion.

however, you are right, she could be deleting the conversation. And if you’re right, then I have 0 trust in her now, which means the relationship may be done.

I wouldn't go jumping to that conclusion based on something that far fetched. If that was the case there would be corroborating behaviors to go with it and there doesn't seem to be any.

 

[Roober]

I really like how you flipped it back on her. I typically let them make the choices though...

"Do you want me to block him?"
"You're a grown azz woman, I'm not going to tell you what to do."

He is not snapping her, she is ALLOWING IT to happen. A good and loyal woman does not invite attention from men. A good and loyal woman knows exactly what other men want and actively dismiss them.

Personally, I would just sit back and observe. The BF comment was a bit much on your part, but no big deal.

If she lets it continue for a period of time, and does nothing to stop it, I would end the relationship...

 

[Romanemp22]

It always starts with some random guy snapchating her, the next thing you will notice is unknown number texting her and the rest is history. Be aware also wth she even need snap

 

[17 shots]

It always starts with some random guy snapchating her, the next thing you will notice unknown number texting her and the rest is history. Be aware also wth she even need snap

This guy knows what's up... it's over for you OP

 

[oldmanofthesea]

To everyone who is worried about the guy snapping her: How many guys have successfully stolen someone’s girl, or slept with her, by spamming her repeatedly on social media without any response from her? I’m not worried about that guy at all.

Girls are anti-confrontational. To them, blocking is a confrontation. Most women will just ignore a guy they aren't interested in - not read the messages and/or not respond to the messages. In OP's case, his girl isn't even opening the messages. I don't see how this is some big deal. Guys can snap anyone they want. What if a girl snapped OP and he didn't open it or respond? Is that automatically his fault and means he's about to bang her and his girl should be really worried?

As far as why does she have snapchat, because people use it to communicate. It's social media. That's like saying, "Why do you have Facebook or Instagram or text-messaging if you are in a relationship?"

 

[Atom Smasher]

This kind of thing, and the resulting angst that comes along with it, is the result of the couple not verbally agreeing beforehand how to handle issues like this.

So now it’s all about “What does SHE think? What is SHE going to do?” And the man just sits around and awaits his fate based on her behavior.

Early in the relationship (when things get serious), two people should discuss expectations. This is where the idea of “setting boundaries” comes in. The man sets the tone. Although the conversation is ostensibly a two way discussion, the woman will always follow the man’s idea of what he expects, because her little brain needs to hear the “suggestion” of what is reasonable. These expectations that you set apply to both her and you. You both agree to them.

Set your expectations early in the relationship, men, and this kind of thing will be avoided. The last thing you want is to be in a position where you’re wondering what she’s going to do and what she’s thinking, all because you didn’t set mutual expectations.

 

[17 shots]

. In OP's case, his girl isn't even opening the messages. I don't see how this is some big deal. Guys can snap anyone they want. What if a girl snapped OP and he didn't open it or respond? Is that automatically his fault and means he's about to bang her and his girl should be really worried?

He said that she reads some of them and doesn't answer....

 

[Romanemp22]

To everyone who is worried about the guy snapping her: How many guys have successfully stolen someone’s girl, or slept with her, by spamming her repeatedly on social media without any response from her? I’m not worried about that guy at all.

Girls are anti-confrontational. To them, blocking is a confrontation. Most women will just ignore a guy they aren't interested in - not read the messages and/or not respond to the messages. In OP's case, his girl isn't even opening the messages. I don't see how this is some big deal. Guys can snap anyone they want. What if a girl snapped OP and he didn't open it or respond? Is that automatically his fault and means he's about to bang her and his girl should be really worried?

As far as why does she have snapchat, because people use it to communicate. It's social media. That's like saying, "Why do you have Facebook or Instagram or text-messaging if you are in a relationship?"

Keep being in delusion. With women in real life, that's not how things work. Also, snapchat is basically site for hook ups while ig and Facebook are mainly used for other things, friends etc.

 

[Romanemp22]

He said that she reads some of them and doesn't answer....

If she is 100 % faithful, she wouldn't even have to ask OP hey do you want me to block him which translates to I'm enjoying his attention. She would block him straight away when first snap came through

 

[Spaz]

If I were you, I'd simply say, if you do something that crossed the line, such as seeking attention from other males, I'd take it as a sign you wanna me break things off with you and I would initiate the break up of our relationship.

 

[Focal core]

Girl are not stupid, they're smart enought to decide in a snap to which event she allow to be part of her life, far better than man at covering adultery, in a lot of cases again and again we all read in sosuave by newcomer post, its always too late when the **** hit the fan, while all the red flags were laying around infront of them all the time, reason being its not a threat.. Triangulation isnt a threat, its worse, its a power play ploy game women play when theyre uninterested or planning an exit..

Girls arent stupid enough just to leave their phone for their man to read some dude message.. And even asking him if he wants her to put block on that guy. Its already a calculative plan.. Something up. Better watch out op.

 

[Romanemp22]

Girl are not stupid, they're smart enought to decide in a snap to which event she allow to be part of her life, far better than man at covering adultery, in a lot of cases again and again we all read in sosuave by newcomer post, its always too late when the **** hit the fan, while all the red flags were laying around infront of them all the time, reason being its not a threat.. Triangulation isnt a threat, its worse, its a power play ploy game women play when theyre uninterested or planning an exit..

Girls arent stupid enough just to leave their phone for their man to read some dude message.. And even asking him if he wants her to put block on that guy. Its already a calculative plan.. Something up. Better watch out op.

This. Triangulation is far worse than formal break up because it can affect man's pride pretty hard. You can't trust women's words only her actions

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

This. Triangulation is far worse than formal break up because it can affect man's pride pretty hard. You can't trust women's words only her actions

Yup, the disconnect between the things she is saying and doing is the next flag... I'm your girlfriend but how do you feel about me talking to other guys? Blatant disconnect.

 

[bcude]

This kind of thing, and the resulting angst that comes along with it, is the result of the couple not verbally agreeing beforehand how to handle issues like this.

Excellent post and the most important point here.

If she, like most women nowadays has used social media her whole life and no specific boundaries were set at the beginning of the relationship regarding social media presence, then how can you fault her for enjoying free attention?

I think she acts transparent and i wouldn't worry about this guy at all. Probably just a random horny orbiter who's sending her d1ck p1cs by the looks of it. He showed his hand by spamming her everyday. Now if i would have gotten the feeling that she tries to hide something or gets confrontational about this, then alarm bells would go off.

Didn't @logicallefty have a thread about his ex-gf doing something similar a couple of months ago?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Excellent post and the most important point here.

If she, like most women nowadays has used social media her whole life and no specific boundaries were set at the beginning of the relationship regarding social media presence, then how can you fault her for enjoying free attention?

I think she acts transparent and i wouldn't worry about this guy at all. Probably just a random horny orbiter who's sending her d1ck p1cs by the looks of it. He showed his hand by spamming her everyday. Now if i would have gotten the feeling that she tries to hide something or gets confrontational about this, then alarm bells would go off.

Didn't @logicallefty have a thread about his ex-gf doing something similar a couple of months ago?

"well you never said I couldn't sleep with others"

It's such a slippery slope when boundaries start being challenged.

 

[jaymbrs]

So you have a desirable woman who doesn't pay attention to other guys hitting her up. That sounds like a positive thing to me. You're overthinking this.

 

[Focal core]

Excellent post and the most important point here.

If she, like most women nowadays has used social media her whole life and no specific boundaries were set at the beginning of the relationship regarding social media presence, then how can you fault her for enjoying free attention?

I think she acts transparent and i wouldn't worry about this guy at all. Probably just a random horny orbiter who's sending her d1ck p1cs by the looks of it. He showed his hand by spamming her everyday. Now if i would have gotten the feeling that she tries to hide something or gets confrontational about this, then alarm bells would go off.

Didn't @logicallefty have a thread about his ex-gf doing something similar a couple of months ago?

My few good girls who happened to be my gf previously would never do such a thing, the only thing she would do are story telling me their orbiters were hitting on her when things were good between us.. They will made sure of it clear as a day they had been shut closed and were meant that way.. Cos theyre afraid if anything happened to the relationship that would risked it demised. Well when thing go south shes saying shes taking a ride in a car with other dude.. Thats how it works.

I wouldnt trust someone who blatantly rub my nose with other dude to be in a relationship.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

To everyone who is worried about the guy snapping her: How many guys have successfully stolen someone’s girl, or slept with her, by spamming her repeatedly on social media without any response from her? I’m not worried about that guy at all.

Girls are anti-confrontational. To them, blocking is a confrontation. Most women will just ignore a guy they aren't interested in - not read the messages and/or not respond to the messages. In OP's case, his girl isn't even opening the messages. I don't see how this is some big deal. Guys can snap anyone they want. What if a girl snapped OP and he didn't open it or respond? Is that automatically his fault and means he's about to bang her and his girl should be really worried?

As far as why does she have snapchat, because people use it to communicate. It's social media. That's like saying, "Why do you have Facebook or Instagram or text-messaging if you are in a relationship?"

The fearmongering on this site is out of control at times. Literally anything you bring up will have 1/3 of the posters saying to dump her or that it's the beginning of the end.

 

[dude99]

So I have an interesting one, been dating this girl for 8 months, was spinning plates at the time and we just ended up clicking so we went for it. Everythings been great, she buys me stuff, cooks, cleans, our sex drives both line up ( aka a lot of sex). Shes told me and shows me she is in love with me, words and actions here. She backs up what she says. However, somthing weird has come up. Some dude has been bombing her with snapchats for the past week. Like multiple every single day. She doesn't open them or opens them and doesn't reply. I brought it up and said, "Is that your new man?" as a joke.

This turned into a more serious conversation and she asked me if it bothered me, I said "would it bother you if I had a girl snapping me like that?" She said "yes". She dove into tell me how she doesn't reply, has no interest in replying, she did not start he randomly started blowing her up, reassured she loved me and even asked me if I wanted her to block him. I said I didn't care about blocking the dude. But I'm not sure why a few days later this is still in my mind. It doesn't seem like shes trying to cheat or even keep this dude around as an orbiter. Just seems like unsolicited snapchats for whatever reason.

What would you guys do in this situation?

I should add she doesn’t do sketchy **** with her phone either. We know each others passwords, we both go into each others phones to change songs, nav etc. she leaves her phone out in front of me and doesn’t do the sketchy tbings you’d expect

Sounds like she isn't a problem. She isn't replying to him or entertaining him so it appears as though she just has a thirsty b@st@rd looking to try to get her attention. You have her attention.

Just say this "if he is annoying you then block him." Then leave it be.