Putting my experience out there to the ether.

[Kevthedon]

This is my first post so I'll try to keep it short. I just want to put my thoughts out there to see if anyone relates. I am 27 years old, 5'11 210 pounds, I've been told I'm handsome. I live a decent life but nothing extravagant. Really into self improvement. One thing I can say about me is that I have no problem attracting very beautiful women into my life. Some emotional unavailable. Some great girls. Now that I'm older and have my own things; it's different. I can experience life differently. With these experiences you really see some ****. The thing that gets me and why I think so many girls leave me is that I push the boyfriend vibe to early and I just lose em. Or my big mouth gets me in trouble; I say stupid ****. Sometimes I just bang myself in the head because I talk my way out of ***** all the time and at this point it's sort of funny. I am kind of sick of one night stands and these unemotionally available women. I actually want a connection in this crazy ass world but I guess I'm too much of a lover boy and I fall in love with some of these girls too quick. Deep down I think it's because I'm not satisfied in my life so far and I'm looking for girls to complete me in a way. I never accomplished my life dream of becoming a professional soccer player. Which is fine, I mean I can always keep trying but is it really worth the effort at this point; probably not. My parents were not the role model couple so I never understood how a healthy relationship looked like. I never had a relationship longer than 7 months. It's kind of sad honestly because I've had so many girls come in and out of my life. I guess the best thing to do is work on yourself in every way possible. Focus on me. One thing I am going to work on is my charisma and the way I articulate myself to women because that will definitely help me. but I don't know man. This world seems gloomy sometimes to me. I feel lost too but I know I need to get a grip and suck it up and try to become someone in this life. It really is easier said than done. Been practicing semen retention and getting pron out of my life for good. I got rid of my xbox the other day. I guess that's a good start lol. Attachment is to welcome suffering. Not looking for sympathy but welcome some tough love. Can anyone relate?

 

[xavier_2000]

Yuppp man thats like hearing old me speak.

Bro. Exact same position as you. Literally everything you been through that was me a couple years ago.

Growing up falling for these girls. I fell in love with my ex, we dated for like 7-8 months. She was incredibly sweet at first, then towards the end of the relationship she went crazy. And finding out she was a hoe too lol

Like constantly falling for these girls, seeing their beauty...

The problem is you have this pervasive "true love" romanticism thats in your brain rn thats been hard wired in you to look for...

Im sure you're seeing the reality of that.

 

[2rings]

Hey I am older than you.

Have you ever tried to be a complete loser boyfriend? An addict, drinker, or a trouble maker who has some killer dealer connections?

Just saying, that is like flies on ****.

Get yourself an alcohol addiction or an abusive family situation with drama and somebody had to do jail time over it because of the stolen pills.

It’s like flies on ****.

 

[xavier_2000]

We're taught to be romantic, "Chase after" the girl...

Treat her with flowers, worship her.

Lol. And you see the result of it. She discards ya and goes for the guy who doesn't give a rats ass about her...

Now why does that happen?

I can go on for ages... You have this assumption that women are superheroes. You care alot. You want to get into a relationship.

But for the sake of this I'll make it 3 things.

1. You made her No. 1 priority over your dreams. What does that tell her? You're a man like all the others. Gave up on his dreams and wants her to fill the void of his dreams. Simply: You gave up on your greatness. Falling in love so quick? Thats like unattractive cause it just screams "I need you"

2. You care what she thinks. As a result of not living out your dreams, you wanna get the "dream girl" to take its place. So of course you care what she thinks of you. If you're enough, etc.

3. You're not selfish. You have to be selfish and place your wants and needs first above her. Ignore everything. Listen to what you want and tell her.

She wants a man that loves his dreams more than anything. That is the divine masculine. Free, wild, carefree, loving.

True love is unattachment. Learning to love without getting attached.

Great news is you know how to love and your heart is open. Now. Just don't get attached.

Don't be loyal. Be free. And watch.

Lol I'll make out with her and her friends. I'll be honest about it. Girls love that sh. Take what you deserve brother.

 

[xavier_2000]

Be a player and have multiple girls at once or none at all.

Embrace it lol.

Trust me.

Live the life of your dreams, date as much beautiful girls as possible

There is no "The One" its myth. Fantasy.

You're The One. You're the freaking prize dammit.

Life is a video game man.

If you had the choice would you choose one wife who controls you through sex or 4 hot and horny submissive girls.

You're a King. Embrace that Sh. Don't let these hoes convince ya otherwise.

For Tactics: Be mysterious. Don't talk about yourself. Be playful. Be Sexual (strong eye contact and smirk). Tell her u want to ravish her. Tell her you're not gonna be these guys tryna wine and dine her. Don't be serious. Lol

 

[Kevthedon]

Thanks for you input so far guys. Especially Xavier's input. I always got from women that I give off this player vibe but deep down i'm this lover boy. I need to knock that **** off and I need to embrace that side. Be "Free, wild, carefree, loving". I appreciate it.

 

[MatureDJ]

One thing I can say about me is that I have no problem attracting very beautiful women into my life. Some emotional unavailable.

Men shouldn't care if a woman is "emotionally available".

 

[Kevthedon]

Men shouldn't care if a woman is "emotionally available".

Is it as simple as saying I don't care about it anymore and making a conscious choice of not giving a **** from now on? or is that learned through experience and you just start becoming colder because of those experiences? Have you always not cared? Thanks.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think it would probably do you well to understand and accept "love" is a construct that's been taken past all realms of plausibility

Everyone wants perfect Hollywood style romance

Pre 2000's it was to some degree possible to live in a bubble with a partner and with enough work potentially go the distance , it wasn't guaranteed to succeed but unless someone really fvcked up or someone really fancied over hauling their entire life on a whim people generally tended to form deep bonds and stick together through thick and thin

This was the case for my own parents , I've seen them have some blazing rows and deep down I think they know they are not really compatible but because of the era they just got on with it and they are still together now same with my grandparents

Now in 2023 things are a lot different .......if someone isn't absolutely perfect for us we tend to disregard any good qualities they may have in the hope we will come across someone even better on a swipe app next week

Both men and women are rampantly doing this and its causing the basic foundations of the " male / female " relationship dynamic to fracture

Nobody really feels valued beyond a surface level of looks or status or wealth

Its causing a lot of bitterness in everyone , and not only that I am starting to observe some serious mental disorders too

I think we are in for a very interesting decade

 

[xavier_2000]

Is it as simple as saying I don't care about it anymore and making a conscious choice of not giving a **** from now on? or is that learned through experience and you just start becoming colder because of those experiences? Have you always not cared? Thanks.

experience will turn you cold as ice lmao

be a lover boy with a cold heart

 

[xavier_2000]

Thanks for you input so far guys. Especially Xavier's input. I always got from women that I give off this player vibe but deep down i'm this lover boy. I need to knock that **** off and I need to embrace that side. Be "Free, wild, carefree, loving". I appreciate it.

Yes. Everything about you is alpha but you speak beta. Its weird af

So embrace that character and vibe they want you to be

Tell em you want her and her friends lmao flirt with all of em

She makes out with you?

Leave her immediately and make out with another girl,

Don't stick with her

She will chase you the entire night cause u didn't stick with her

Calls you a player? Tell her you're a heartbreaker and don't believe in monogamy lol

Take this further:

Make them chase you. If its not an enthusiastic hell yes and they don't offer it to you move on to another who will. And you'll find the other girl will come back and chase you

Play with emotions. Be your natural playful self. Make her angry, make her sad, make her laugh, make her shy. Observe what makes her turned on, turn it all the way up and go completely cold. Hot and Cold. Push and Pull.

 

[xavier_2000]

Yes. Everything about you is alpha but you speak beta. Its weird af

So embrace that character and vibe they want you to be

Tell em you want her and her friends lmao flirt with all of em

She makes out with you?

Leave her immediately and make out with another girl,

Don't stick with her

She will chase you the entire night cause u didn't stick with her

Calls you a player? Tell her you're a heartbreaker and don't believe in monogamy lol

I take this further and never ever take numbers unless I've had sex with them

Even if they're begging you to call them and gave you their number and that they're available another time

If you don't smash that night you meet them the number is invalid and I just don't save it

You gotta know, act and believe as if they are lying to you. And usually they are. Lol.

Anyways brotha your such a gem don't ever forget that

 

[Kevthedon]

I think it would probably do you well to understand and accept "love" is a construct that's been taken past all realms of plausibility

Everyone wants perfect Hollywood style romance

Pre 2000's it was to some degree possible to live in a bubble with a partner and with enough work potentially go the distance , it wasn't guaranteed to succeed but unless someone really fvcked up or someone really fancied over hauling their entire life on a whim people generally tended to form deep bonds and stick together through thick and thin

This was the case for my own parents , I've seen them have some blazing rows and deep down I think they know they are not really compatible but because of the era they just got on with it and they are still together now same with my grandparents

Now in 2023 things are a lot different .......if someone isn't absolutely perfect for us we tend to disregard any good qualities they may have in the hope we will come across someone even better on a swipe app next week

Both men and women are rampantly doing this and its causing the basic foundations of the " male / female " relationship dynamic to fracture

Nobody really feels valued beyond a surface level of looks or status or wealth

Its causing a lot of bitterness in everyone , and not only that I am starting to observe some serious mental disorders too

I think we are in for a very interesting decade

Man thanks for your input. Makes sense. It’s different times we live in. I think I might be getting a taste of bitterness but Its probably better to just accept reality for what it is and play the game as good as good as possible.

 

[Kevthedon]

We're taught to be romantic, "Chase after" the girl...

Treat her with flowers, worship her.

Lol. And you see the result of it. She discards ya and goes for the guy who doesn't give a rats ass about her...

Now why does that happen?

I can go on for ages... You have this assumption that women are superheroes. You care alot. You want to get into a relationship.

But for the sake of this I'll make it 3 things.

1. You made her No. 1 priority over your dreams. What does that tell her? You're a man like all the others. Gave up on his dreams and wants her to fill the void of his dreams. Simply: You gave up on your greatness. Falling in love so quick? Thats like unattractive cause it just screams "I need you"

2. You care what she thinks. As a result of not living out your dreams, you wanna get the "dream girl" to take its place. So of course you care what she thinks of you. If you're enough, etc.

3. You're not selfish. You have to be selfish and place your wants and needs first above her. Ignore everything. Listen to what you want and tell her.

She wants a man that loves his dreams more than anything. That is the divine masculine. Free, wild, carefree, loving.

True love is unattachment. Learning to love without getting attached.

Great news is you know how to love and your heart is open. Now. Just don't get attached.

Don't be loyal. Be free. And watch.

Lol I'll make out with her and her friends. I'll be honest about it. Girls love that sh. Take what you deserve brother.

Brother I appreciate this. Your right.

 

[Kevthedon]

I take this further and never ever take numbers unless I've had sex with them

Even if they're begging you to call them and gave you their number and that they're available another time

If you don't smash that night you meet them the number is invalid and I just don't save it

You gotta know, act and believe as if they are lying to you. And usually they are. Lol.

Anyways brotha your such a gem don't ever forget that

That first part is pretty extreme but ima try it haha. Love it. It’s sad that we gotta do this but it is what it is.

 

[Murk]

5'11 210 pounds

This is way to heavy/fat unless you're absolutely jacked? Lean down to 190 or less

 

[FlirtLife]

... I am kind of sick of one night stands and these unemotionally available women. I actually want a connection in this crazy ass world but I guess I'm too much of a lover boy and I fall in love with some of these girls too quick. Deep down I think it's because I'm not satisfied in my life so far and I'm looking for girls to complete me in a way. I never accomplished my life dream of becoming a professional soccer player. Which is fine, I mean I can always keep trying but is it really worth the effort at this point; probably not. ...

How many hours a week do you play soccer, and at what level? Someone playing on weekends with friends ... well, age 27 is a bit late to get competitive. But if you're playing daily in competitive amateur leagues and dream of moving up, that's a very different level of effort and commitment.

If not soccer, I think you still need something to call your own. When you "fall in love with some of these girls too quick", I suspect they've got more going on in their lives. You're more bored, so you fall first. To create a metaphor, it's hard to hold frame if your frame is empty. Maybe you can find something that interests you other than soccer (without a screen, preferably). Fill up some of your life, so you can build up patience and confidence without falling in love so quickly.

 

[Kevthedon]

This is way to heavy/fat unless you're absolutely jacked? Lean down to 190 or less

your right man. I was actually at 230 so I was pretty big. Started fasting, eating a little bit better, been going to the gym religiously 2 years ago so I got some muscle now... I should definitely aim for 190. Thanks for your input.

 

[Kevthedon]

How many hours a week do you play soccer, and at what level? Someone playing on weekends with friends ... well, age 27 is a bit late to get competitive. But if you're playing daily in competitive amateur leagues and dream of moving up, that's a very different level of effort and commitment.

If not soccer, I think you still need something to call your own. When you "fall in love with some of these girls too quick", I suspect they've got more going on in their lives. You're more bored, so you fall first. To create a metaphor, it's hard to hold frame if your frame is empty. Maybe you can find something that interests you other than soccer (without a screen, preferably). Fill up some of your life, so you can build up patience and confidence without falling in love so quickly.

That is a good point and to be honest man I believe that I do not play enough now to actually get to that level. I just did not risk it all when I was young. I just need to comes to terms with reality and like you say find something else that interests me. I will definitely look into some other hobbies etc. Thanks for your input.

 

[Murk]

your right man. I was actually at 230 so I was pretty big. Started fasting, eating a little bit better, been going to the gym religiously 2 years ago so I got some muscle now... I should definitely aim for 190. Thanks for your input.

That's great to hear, I was 215 and got to 180, I'm 6'2 though and aiming for 12% BF

Being leaner makes me way more confident and I'm sure it will do the same for you.