Pushing the envelope

[jmm854]

Whazappinin everyone...been months and months since I posted here last.

Anyway, never been here too long to ask a question.

Pretty much here's the situation.

About to be a college sophomore. Met a highschool junior this past winter break from school, kept in touch, started dating her this past May, been with her about 2 months or so. I'm 19, she's 17, about to be 18 soon so age isn't really an issue.

I don't have any real interest in the girl. No future or anything like that for us in store. I definitely see that, not sure that she does. Anyway, coming from college, being a fraternity guy and all, got with a lot of girls, decent amount of p*ssy, even more head. This girl I'm with now is absolutely gorgeous. And she still seems completely interested in me after 2 months. But we've gotten absolutely nowhere sexual in that time. The thing I don't understand is this is a girl that's hooked up with more than her fair share of guys in the past.

We're both pretty experienced people, but there's pretty much no action going on between us right now. I don't really want her long term but she'd be a great f*ck. Any ideas on how to turn it up between her and I, because I just don't understand it. I'm not doing anything different than any other time I'm with a chick, but absolutely no play to show for it.

-Jared

 

[TinyDancer]

Well Jared, it is absolutely likely, that a girl who has 'hooked up with more than her share of guys', is in an easy position to get sick of those one night stands and actually try to be more careful with a guy she really likes or could even feel is 'the one'.

You say that you do not see a future for the two of you, maybe you should make it clear to her that you do not see her as someone you could have a real long-term relationship with. Make sure you aren't dating her and her exclusively, whenever you two are together, don't take her out on dates, always make it a night in with movies or something.

When you do it that way you can start trying to make hanging out with her simply sexual. Make out with her the entire time she is there, and gradually go on from there, until whenever you see her, all you do is have sex. By this time she might be so desperate to have you back the way she did before that she would do just about anything to reattach herself to you.

happy manipulating, Jared, may toying with her emotions get you all the play you desire.

 

[jmm854]

No it's not like that...

My thing is right now we're not hooking up at all. I'm not trying to screw with her emotions in order to bang her whenever I want. But I mean two months with a girl and I've yet to even see a dry handjob.

She's really cute, but we don't really connect on many things, so that's why I'm uncertain as to being with her long term.

So pretty much from what you're saying, she might not want to be sexual with me because she's really into me and doesn't want to take the chance of messing it up.

Anyone else have suggestions?

 

[jonny football hero]

It seems to me you're having trouble with "rapport" what you need to do (or rather say) is alot of "Really? i thought i was the only one who thought that!", "Yeah, that is so true". It makes them feel they have a "connection" with you.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Hmm...

It seems to me that you dug your own hole, jumped in it, and then complained about being in the hole.

You said that you've gone over 2 months without sex from his girl. The problem that you are running in to is called the "GEAR SHIFT COMPLEX".

Women will completely shift thier mental gears once they find out that they are still with you, yet there is no sex involved - this gear is called the "LONG TERM GEAR". The benefits of this gear is that you get to keep her longer - it will basically be much harder for her to ever dump you unless she has a really good reason to. However, the disadvantage is no sexual intercourse.

When women think of you as a long term relationship partner, they will hold back the sex because they see it as something too valuable to be just something that is done on the spur of the moment.

You got with this girl for the sex, but you are STILL WITH HER after 2 MONTHS even though you are not getting any from her. Why?

If you didn't want a long term relationship with her, you should have just broken it off with this girl much sooner instead of hoping that she'll just one day magically strip her clothes off and say, "jump on me, big daddy!".

Here's a little tip.....if this girl was going to give you what you wanted, she certainly would have done it already.

I'd move on - if after that long, and you still haven't gotten what you wanted out of the relationship, you need to move on. Even if you do find some kind of way to get her into bed, you'll be forced even MORE to stay with her because she'll feel even closer to you than before. But you said yourself that you didn't want a relationship with her, only sex.

I'm afraid that is impossible, my friend. This girl ALREADY sees you as a relationship, so trying to remove those feelings from her is impossible. You basically waited around for too long on something that now will never be. She's swithced gears already, you're too late.

Look, if you are in a long term relationship, don't have sex with the girl unless you want this relationship to continue and grow even more serious.