Pushing outside comfort zone

Solomon79

Don Juan
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At 29, I'm trying to be ruthless with myself about what is holding me back from achieving my potential with women, and I wondered what you guys thought. Perhaps you can identify with my situation. I know I need to break through some fears, or weaknesses, but first I need to identify them, then work out a practical means of how to get practice.

I am confident. Good career, quite good looking, good in conversation, and not too boring. I can and do attract good looking women. But it's not really happening for me at the moment, because I am just not spontaneous enough, I freeze when it comes to openers etc. I can't ice break. Being honest with myself, I've lost some of the art of small talk.

I think my problem is that I've become too laid back and too confident, if that makes sense. There are few women who I will bother with now, because I know what I like, but the flip side is, that means I get less practice in the game, so I am rustier. Bear in mind, I attract HBs of a very good calibre, and I don't want to aim lower. Again, lack of practice means I am not picking up the opportunities.

I know that I need to get some practice and overcome some fear barriers. But I'm struggling to identify the exact nature of those barriers and how I can break them down, without changing myself, as I am almost entirely happy with my personality as it is now. Yet, I accept I need to make changes.

Perhaps this is normal as you get older? It's like, you become naturally much more content in your own skin, and accept yourself. Even though, at the same time, you know you need to do things differently to get different results?

What do you think?
 

mtbbkr111

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I've found I'm more outgoing now than when I was younger..

Oh yeah and do the boot camp... You will loose your confort zone quick..
 

Duffdog

Master Don Juan
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Im the same age and in the same situation you are. Yes, there are always a few girls to call who would worship your feet and have sex with you in a minutes notice, but I think you need a true challenge. I recently started going out by myself to places where I don't know anyone at all-- it really has worked wonders by forcing me to get right out there and go after these girls that I see. After all, there isn't anything to fall back on.
 
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