Punishing or blowing off sh*t tests?

[Slash Dolo]

Would like your guys opinions on sh*t testing. There are varying degrees of it, and despite me getting older (27), women still seem to be doing it.

The sh*t tests usually involve some form of restraint (not putting out for some silly reason to see how I'll react) or a general jealousy check (posting a picture on social media/Tinder/whatever with an orbiter/guy friend to see how I'll react.) I get them. I understand what's going on, and I pass, but SHOULD I be passing? Is it really worth my effort and time to deal with silly games that fool no one? I've always played them off and kept my cool and things worked out in my favor, but I'm at the point where I'm SO sick of them. And I can't remember the last time a sh*t test wasn't thrown my way by a chick. It happens so often.

How do you guys handle them? I'm at the point where I just want to punish instead of play off and stop talking to the girl entirely, but I feel if I do that sex will be scarce. Maybe I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to wade through bullsh*t just to get laid.

 

[Lozboss]

I've been asking myself this (I too am 27 and newly dating again).

I find a lot of flaking and **** testing- I identify them and pass but I can't help but be annoyed with these women.

I'm in the same boat.

I think you gotta look at it like this:

Women test: You pass. If they keep doing it then you BIN them. It's about progression-you'll not find a woman who won't sh*t test you.

The other point Slash is that you clearly value sex, as we all do- but TOO much.

That's why i recommend that all DJs go through at least 3 months of no sex enforced, during that time they focus on themselves solely.

Why you ask?- To realize that once sex loses its power then women lose their only power over you.

 

[El Payaso]

To realize that once sex loses its power then women lose their only power over you.

Spot on. This makes most women nervous when their boyfriend stops initiating or doesn't seem interested anymore. They will literally try to rape you.

 

[WanderingMan]

There's a time to ignore a **** test.

There's a time to laugh at a **** test.

There's a time to punish a **** test.


The smaller **** tests that don't really effect your current situation, you can just ignore. However, the larger ones, that do have an effect on you: i.e she shows up late, changes plans at the last minute, causes a fight, acts unnecessarily dramatic, drags you out to dinner then makes you pay, etc. -
Time to go. Don't get emotional, just a simple walk away: "hey, I have to get going, good seeing you."

 

[pyros]

see this, when a woman does something that REALLY annoys you (arrives 1h late, flakes on you, flirts with other guys in your presence, calls you names...etc) you can either:

1 handle it.
2 ignore it.
3 handle it and send her to hell for trying to toy with you.

I know you think that if you 'handle' those tests properly you get points and you may end up fvcking her. Yep, it can happen, you can dodge them, handle them, reverse them etc....and some days later you're fvcking her doggy.

I've been there several times. Sometimes I've ended up banging the chick, and a few others I havent, and after experiencing this so many times, now I dont accept them anymore. I mean, if a girl arrives more than 15 mins late without notice etc, I just leave and I probably wont go out with her again unless she does something to make me happy. It is not worth my time, energy, and money really.

In short, I dont 'handle' their tests, because when they're doing these tests it just means they are not really into you, cause if they were THEY WOULD NOT BE DOING THINGS TO MAKE YOU MAD. Common sense right?

So OP, you can 'learn' to 'handle' them...and you may get the *****, but after a few chicks acting this way it seems stupid to keep letting them manipulate you in order to fvck them.

I'd rather be in a dry spell for 10 months and find one chick that is really into me, that keep chasing girls that are not that into me so they manipulate me, disrespect me, string me along, etc. in hopes of getting the sex. Which may or may not occur.

One little 'test':

She arrives 20 mins late without notice ONE TIME... ---> ok.
She lets me touch her boobs but not fvck her on date three ---> ok, no biggie.
She doesnt text me in a week but then she seems excited to meet ---> ok
She tells me her ex bf is still in the pic but we have sex ---> ok.

Bigger sh-it damn tests:

She flakes on me without notice, or arrives way too late ---> deleted.
She doesnt get sexual with me after a few dates ---> deleted.
She takes forever to reply to every text ---> deleted.
She tells me she's seing other guys ---> deleted.
She tells me she's busy to meet me more than one time in a row --> deleted.

You get the point.

 

[SmooveMooves]

One little 'test':

She arrives 20 mins late without notice ONE TIME... ---> ok.
She lets me touch her boobs but not fvck her on date three ---> ok, no biggie.
She doesnt text me in a week but then she seems excited to meet ---> ok
She tells me her ex bf is still in the pic but we have sex ---> ok.

Bigger sh-it damn tests:

She flakes on me without notice, or arrives way too late ---> deleted.
She doesnt get sexual with me after a few dates ---> deleted.
She takes forever to reply to every text ---> deleted.
She tells me she's seing other guys ---> deleted.
She tells me she's busy to meet me more than one time in a row --> deleted.

You get the point.

I don't think you understand what shít tests are. A shít test is a woman testing a man's ability to lead or his frame. What you listed was just frankly disrespectful behavior.

 

[pyros]

disrespectful behaviour is a way to test your frame.

You're welcome.

 

[Poon King]

Women sh!t test for two main reasons:

1. They crave drama and you are not exciting enough for them.
2. They are insecure about your feelings and want to know how you "really feel" about them and yourself.

What women care most about is their ability to extract resources from the men in their lives. To do so, they must not only have the man's attention, but his emotional investment. When a woman is too easy going it is easier for the man to stay aloof. So women need to inject drama and uncertainty into the relationship to make the man insecure and more attentive.

This is all a long way of saying: Women sh!t test to manipulate you. The goal of the manipulation is either to gain insight into how you think OR to relax her own insecurities about you.

If a woman's sh!t tests are "getting to you" then you are already on the path to pedestalization / oneitis and are losing the game. I still get sh!t tested.. BUT because I spin plates and/or don't give a sh!t if a woman wants to leave.. I don't get annoyed by them at all. My belief system is to do whatever I want 24/7. So if a woman doesn't like it.. too bad. And so.. sh!t tests don't matter because my behavior will not change anyway. I actually find them entertaining because they reveal more about the type of woman I'm dealing with and how insecure she it. After all.. if a woman is sh!t testing you.. it means she CARES on some level about the outcome.

Sh!t tests should NOT bother you. They are a chance for you to sit back and OBSERVE the type of woman you are dealing with.

The bottom line is: Your emotional state should not depend on anything a woman does or says. And THAT gentlemen.. is the key to passing all sh!t tests all the time.

If a woman is controlling your emotions.. you have lost the game AND you are a faggot. :crackup:

 

[Who Dares Win]

I have a zero tolerance policy for bullsh1t and sh1t tests, since I started enforcing it the % of success with women in which I invested time and energy reached almost 100%.

Sure I passed some girls which would have given me their bodies with some patience and some effort but in the bigger picture its simply not worth, the time I saved by leaving negative girls is a reward itself, sometime I even left girls with whom I spoke few seconds just because they gave an answer that I registered as a red light.

At 30 I no longer need validation from women like in my 20s, my sex drive is powerful when Im at home with a girl I find attractive but it almost disappear in the chasing moment if I get annoyed or sh1t tests happen.

I totally support the notion that a girl which is really into you wont do anything to disappoint or annoy you, she wont disrespect you or put obstacles into you two meeting and getting intimate.

Of course I accept the need of many girls to progress gradually not to look like slvts, but at my age I can tell honestly when she is waiting to save face compared to when she is playing games or has no intention to spread her legs.

I remember an old post about how to deal with a girl that brings up her ex boyfriend and how to defuse the potential obstacle by having a certain frame, change topic in certain moment with a certain smile and voice tone etc...lol, what about simply drop her and find a better option?

 

[Poon King]

I have a zero tolerance policy for bullsh1t and sh1t tests, since I started enforcing it the % of success with women in which I invested time and energy reached almost 100%.

Sure I passed some girls which would have given me their bodies with some patience and some effort but in the bigger picture its simply not worth, the time I saved by leaving negative girls is a reward itself, sometime I even left girls with whom I spoke few seconds just because they gave an answer that I registered as a red light.

At 30 I no longer need validation from women like in my 20s, my sex drive is powerful when Im at home with a girl I find attractive but it almost disappear in the chasing moment if I get annoyed or sh1t tests happen.

I totally support the notion that a girl which is really into you wont do anything to disappoint or annoy you, she wont disrespect you or put obstacles into you two meeting and getting intimate.

Of course I accept the need of many girls to progress gradually not to look like slvts, but at my age I can tell honestly when she is waiting to save face compared to when she is playing games or has no intention to spread her legs.

I remember an old post about how to deal with a girl that brings up her ex boyfriend and how to defuse the potential obstacle by having a certain frame, change topic in certain moment with a certain smile and voice tone etc...lol, what about simply drop her and find a better option?

Good post.

But I want to also reinforce the fact that sh!t tests DON'T matter because they have no effect on your ability to do what you want.

Most men are far too reactive with women. EVERYTHING a woman does is analyzed, thought about and judged. And men have strong emotional reactions to everything a woman does. This is the problem. To me.. this hyper-reactive behavior is a form of pedestalization. Making women more important in your life than they should be.

I can tell if a woman will eventually f*ck me pretty early. If she pulls a sh!t test in between.. she is only wasting her own time because I sure as hell will be doing whatever I want regardless. My behavior is always based on what I believe. So if a woman sh!t tests me or doesn't sh!t test me makes no difference whatsoever and does NOTHING to change my behavior or emotional state. To me a woman's sh!t test is like a dog licking its balls. It does not matter and it does not effect me.

Don't allow women to control your emotions. Even if you "pass" a sh!t test or NEXT a woman because of it.. in the end you let it get to you.

The woman should always care more than the man in all relationship situations. Yes.. ALL relationship situations.

 

[Trump]

Would like your guys opinions on sh*t testing. There are varying degrees of it, and despite me getting older (27), women still seem to be doing it.

Bro this doesn't make much sense. Just because you reached a certain "age" doesn't mean women will stop their behaviour. :crackup:

The sh*t tests usually involve some form of restraint (not putting out for some silly reason to see how I'll react) or a general jealousy check (posting a picture on social media/Tinder/whatever with an orbiter/guy friend to see how I'll react.) I get them. I understand what's going on, and I pass,

Again bro this makes no sense. What do mean you pass? Did you pay for a course where there are written examinations and grading marks? If you think of even REACTING to her, you got nothing else to do in your life.

How do you guys handle them? I'm at the point where I just want to punish instead of play off and stop talking to the girl entirely, but I feel if I do that sex will be scarce. Maybe I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to wade through bullsh*t just to get laid.

Depends how hot she is and how bad you want the sex bro, guess you could consider it a direct relationship.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Women sh!t test for two main reasons:

1. They crave drama and you are not exciting enough for them.
2. They are insecure about your feelings and want to know how you "really feel" about them and yourself.

What women care most about is their ability to extract resources from the men in their lives. To do so, they must not only have the man's attention, but his emotional investment. When a woman is too easy going it is easier for the man to stay aloof. So women need to inject drama and uncertainty into the relationship to make the man insecure and more attentive.

This is all a long way of saying: Women sh!t test to manipulate you. The goal of the manipulation is either to gain insight into how you think OR to relax her own insecurities about you.

If a woman's sh!t tests are "getting to you" then you are already on the path to pedestalization / oneitis and are losing the game. I still get sh!t tested.. BUT because I spin plates and/or don't give a sh!t if a woman wants to leave.. I don't get annoyed by them at all. My belief system is to do whatever I want 24/7. So if a woman doesn't like it.. too bad. And so.. sh!t tests don't matter because my behavior will not change anyway. I actually find them entertaining because they reveal more about the type of woman I'm dealing with and how insecure she it. After all.. if a woman is sh!t testing you.. it means she CARES on some level about the outcome.

Sh!t tests should NOT bother you. They are a chance for you to sit back and OBSERVE the type of woman you are dealing with.

The bottom line is: Your emotional state should not depend on anything a woman does or says. And THAT gentlemen.. is the key to passing all sh!t tests all the time.

If a woman is controlling your emotions.. you have lost the game AND you are a faggot. :crackup:

Laughing and playing off sh*t tests is fine and dandy. I've done it for years, but it's old now. I'm at the point where I simply don't want to waste the time or the effort in passing them. I enjoy the movie The Shining. If I had to watch it every time I went to the movies, I'd be pretty annoyed by it after a while. The same applies here.

There's been some good advice here though. I'm glad I'm not alone. Honestly, I think walking away and indicating to the girl that you have no interest in her bullsh*t is more of a power play than playing along. You can play along, not care about the outcome and maybe get laid, but taking the high road and making them regret the test in the first place sounds like the sweeter, more dominant option in my book.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Bro this doesn't make much sense. Just because you reached a certain "age" doesn't mean women will stop their behaviour. :crackup:

You know what, you're right. I forget how bad most men are with women. They'll keep doing this until their 100 because we let them get away with it, honestly.

Again bro this makes no sense. What do mean you pass? Did you pay for a course where there are written examinations and grading marks? If you think of even REACTING to her, you got nothing else to do in your life.

How about this. I stop her bullsh*t by sticking my d*ck in her. It sounds a little manlier than "passing." My mistake. Gotta remain e-macho on So Suave.

 

[Poon King]

Laughing and playing off sh*t tests is fine and dandy. I've done it for years, but it's old now. I'm at the point where I simply don't want to waste the time or the effort in passing them. I enjoy the movie The Shining. If I had to watch it every time I went to the movies, I'd be pretty annoyed by it after a while. The same applies here.

There's been some good advice here though. I'm glad I'm not alone. Honestly, I think walking away and indicating to the girl that you have no interest in her bullsh*t is more of a power play than playing along. You can play along, not care about the outcome and maybe get laid, but taking the high road and making them regret the test in the first place sounds like the sweeter, more dominant option in my book.

You are 100% correct. And women will only sh!t test to the point they believe they can get away with.

But for me.. as long as a woman doesn't attack my dignity or engage in disrespect.. I barely notice the "test".

Here are the only sh!t tests I believe are grounds for eradicating a woman:

-No call no show flaking or flaking with weak excuse that is an obvious lie
-Making any type of "demand". (This is not a woman's place)
-Not putting out in a reasonable time frame.

Sh!t tests that I ignore because I don't care:

-Talking about how attractive another man is
-Asking you to hold her bag (simply refuse)
-Being too "busy" to meet (simply f*ck another plate)
-Probing for information about your past (I always tell them don't worry about it)
-Mean comments about your clothes or style (who cares what a woman thinks?)
-Ignoring a text or call (her loss, hit up the next plate)

These are the only sh!t tests I have experienced.

 

[Bingo-Player]

im with espi

if sh1t tests are bothering you then you aint spinning enough plates:rockon:

 

[Lozboss]

All very. Easy to say: spin more plates.

But that doesn't happen over night and it's crap advise in this situation.

Op is trying to add more plates but encountering resistance- therefore telling him to spin more plates is a stupid comment.

Stop trotting out the stock advice and read his post next time.

 

[Konada]

Would like your guys opinions on sh*t testing. There are varying degrees of it, and despite me getting older (27), women still seem to be doing it.

The sh*t tests usually involve some form of restraint (not putting out for some silly reason to see how I'll react) or a general jealousy check (posting a picture on social media/Tinder/whatever with an orbiter/guy friend to see how I'll react.) I get them. I understand what's going on, and I pass, but SHOULD I be passing? Is it really worth my effort and time to deal with silly games that fool no one? I've always played them off and kept my cool and things worked out in my favor, but I'm at the point where I'm SO sick of them. And I can't remember the last time a sh*t test wasn't thrown my way by a chick. It happens so often.

How do you guys handle them? I'm at the point where I just want to punish instead of play off and stop talking to the girl entirely, but I feel if I do that sex will be scarce. Maybe I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to wade through bullsh*t just to get laid.

You just answered the question yourself. Which do you value more? Sex or not dealing with bullsh!t?

A highly interested woman will not play games in fear of losing you. However, sh!t tests are plenty and normal for girls who are not HIGHLY interested in you, its part of their process to weed out the low value men from the high value men.

Do some soul-searching and build your inner frame, with it comes boundaries and a mindset where you won't even register sh!t tests. Find your true self, act accordingly and nature will do the rest.

 

[Poon King]

When I'm spinning plates and have an abundance of women to choose from, approval is pretty much irrelevant. Because I have nothing to lose, I'm not going to waste any time or strategize or think about how to please anybody. When I have options, I'm more focused on fulfilling my own desires than gaining approval from people.

You just answered the question yourself. Which do you value more? Sex or not dealing with bullsh!t?

A highly interested woman will not play games in fear of losing you. However, sh!t tests are plenty and normal for girls who are not HIGHLY interested in you, its part of their process to weed out the low value men from the high value men.

Do some soul-searching and build your inner frame, with it comes boundaries and a mindset where you won't even register sh!t tests. Find your true self, act accordingly and nature will do the rest.

What you posted in red above is a common but false belief. Sh!t testing is NOT necessarily a sign of low interest. Often it is the opposite. Then when the man FAILS the sh!t test.. her interest drops and he assumes it was always low.

Most sh!t test stem from female insecurity. A lot of men have this false idea that a woman with high interest will be extremely easy and available. WRONG. This is true for sluts, but not women in general. Think about how most men act when they find a woman VERY attractive. Are most of them super aggressive and confident or do they often hold back and strategize to ensure the best outcome? BINGO.

Most women whom want to ensure a man sticks around will sh!t test out of fear and insecurity. She will push him away to see if he comes back, because she is insecure about getting too emotionally attached. She also wants him to work hard to prove his emotional investment (aka enslavement) to her.

Women are also insecure about the possibility of a man being a phony and putting on an act to impress her (as most pandering faggot men today do). So women will also sh!t test to ensure you are the REAL DEAL and not some PUA bullsh!t artist. Since most men are full of sh!t.. most men fail sh!t tests when they get caught by them off guard. Women are fully aware of this.

Which is why I teach men to be authentic and live by their own values 24/7. When you're not full of sh!t.. you don't have to worry about having the right "reaction" or "saying the right thing" all the time.

 

[WanderingMan]

What you posted in red above is a common but false belief. Sh!t testing is NOT necessarily a sign of low interest. Often it is the opposite. Then when the man FAILS the sh!t test.. her interest drops and he assumes it was always low.

Most sh!t test stem from female insecurity. A lot of men have this false idea that a woman with high interest will be extremely easy and available. WRONG. This is true for sluts, but not women in general. Think about how most men act when they find a woman VERY attractive. Are most of them super aggressive and confident or do they often hold back and strategize to ensure the best outcome? BINGO.

Most women whom want to ensure a man sticks around will sh!t test out of fear and insecurity. She will push him away to see if he comes back, because she is insecure about getting too emotionally attached. She also wants him to work hard to prove his emotional investment (aka enslavement) to her.

Women are also insecure about the possibility of a man being a phony and putting on an act to impress her (as most pandering faggot men today do). So women will also sh!t test to ensure you are the REAL DEAL and not some PUA bullsh!t artist. Since most men are full of sh!t.. most men fail sh!t tests when they get caught by them off guard. Women are fully aware of this.

Which is why I teach men to be authentic and live by their own values 24/7. When you're not full of sh!t.. you don't have to worry about having the right "reaction" or "saying the right thing" all the time.

Very well said. Phenomenal post.

 

[pyros]

In my experience girls that were really interested in me did not sh-it test me, ever.
(cancelling one date because she feels sick is not a sh-it test. Creating a bit of drama after 12 dates...no biggie.)

However, all the other slvts I've met with whom I've had from 1 to 6 or 7 dates, who had medium to low interest had sh-it test me one way or another. It also applies to girls that believed they were the 8th world wonder.

So as many guys here have preached, in general, girls that are into you AND are not fvcked up in the head, do not sh-it test you.