PuertoRican_Lover et. al.; need ur help

Genghis Juan

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I know alot of the masters here don't subscribe to the contraversial topic of "Confidence and Persistence"; where you have to play the role of the seducer for a girl who's intial interest is low to moderate.

However, I got this girl, HB9, on the "back burner" who is a very conservative girl. She is 26yo, doesn't like to drink, doesn't like bars & clubs, isn't "out there" and is definitely "marriage-minded".
She doesn't fit the profile of a professional dater either because she did pay for a dinner (for my b-day).

The conundrum is this: she got out of a serious LTR with someone she wanted to marry 10 mos. ago. I think it lasted about 2 to 3 years. She may need more time for her feelings to settle. I get mixed signals from her all the time:

2nd date, "Oh, this is going to work! I'm going to give Boston another chance!"

3rd date, "I wouldn't be on this date if I wasn't interested, but I want to take it slow. You'll have to beat up my old bf's....time will tell".

4th date, "I'm not LJBF'ing you. If you're not comfortable with this pace you can move on....You have so much to offer....I like your confidence....I could date once a week....I'm not playing games...I don't have time to date someone else like I'm dating you....My parents are wondering what the hold up is....Its just that I'm on the fence about staying in Boston or going back to KY...but I've felt this way for a few years...I don't want to get too involved, then decide to leave and you think I'm a *****."

We only date about once every 3 or 4 weeks, even though she recently said she could date once per week. Some of my boyz are telling me she's either playing games or just a major flake. My intuition is telling me she is a "good" girl who is probably still afraid to get involved again.

Blunder:
I accidentally called her at 8am one weekday morning from work! I use my new cell phone as a phone book there. When I look up a contact's number, sometimes I hit the stupid arrow key and the number scrolls up and I call the wrong person. I was calling another friend when all of a sudden a girl's voice answers, so I just hung up. I realized that it was this girl!! So I have layed low and haven't contacted her for a week and a half.

Anyways, I'm going to a business school social event tonight, and tomorrow I'm going to a speed dating thing in town to look up for some new prospects.

Any input into a strategy I should implement or similar experiences let me know. Next time I date her, I have to blitz her with the humor though to raise her IL. I've managed my emotions much better ever since I first met her. I definetly had 1-itis for a while, but know, thanks to this site, my game has come a loooong way.

Later.
 
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I don't think she is bull-shyting you her answers are straightforward and direct. She seems like an honest person so respect her values and her wishes.

Leave her alone. You did your job and she knows you are interested, there is nothing else you can do at this time. Don't call her - put her on the back burner. When she is ready to move on with her life, she'll let you know if she desires a ltr with you. You don't want to become a pressuring pest...and look like a chump. She'll respect you more if you don't show signs of desperation, as other guys have done or are doing!!
 

Trapspringer

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When it comes to HBs, 9 seems to be the magic number around here. Almost everyone is dealing with a HB9. Just for the record, HBs 6 or 7 are worthy of our attention/responses too.
 

Porky

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I prefer HBs 7.5 and 8 to HB 9.
 

Slickster

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2nd date, "Oh, this is going to work! I'm going to give Boston another chance!"

3rd date, "I wouldn't be on this date if I wasn't interested, but I want to take it slow. You'll have to beat up my old bf's....time will tell".

4th date, "I'm not LJBF'ing you. If you're not comfortable with this pace you can move on....You have so much to offer....I like your confidence....I could date once a week....I'm not playing games...I don't have time to date someone else like I'm dating you....My parents are wondering what the hold up is....Its just that I'm on the fence about staying in Boston or going back to KY...but I've felt this way for a few years...I don't want to get too involved, then decide to leave and you think I'm a *****."

We only date about once every 3 or 4 weeks, even though she recently said she could date once per week. .....
The real problem here is the fact that you are having these type of conversations with her so early. Sounds like you've dated her a few times and you are already pressuring her about a relationship. This is bad news for you. You shouldn't be having these types of conversations with a new chick.

You should be focusing on having fun with her and showing her the time of her life. This does two things for you.

1. She forgets about her old bf
2. She forgets about moving away.

Then you just sit back and wait for her to bring up the idea of a relationship. Remember this, women want to chase. Not be chased.

Oh yes, forget about her ex or any other guy. The only thing that matters is how you deal with her when you are together.

She's not taking it slow because of her ex. You just haven't convinced her yet that you are the man. If you're doing your job right she'll forget about that other bozo soon enough.

Once again, no talking about relationships (past, present, or future). No talking about where things are going, when the next date is, date frequency, getting too involved, etc. Keep her on her toes. She prefers not to know this stuff. Its more exciting that way.

In the early stages just have FUN

Cheers
 
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Good insight, Slickster!
 

CLOONEY

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Originally posted by Slickster
The real problem here is the fact that you are having these type of conversations with her so early. Sounds like you've dated her a few times and you are already pressuring her about a relationship. This is bad news for you. You shouldn't be having these types of conversations with a new chick.

You should be focusing on having fun with her and showing her the time of her life. This does two things for you.

1. She forgets about her old bf
2. She forgets about moving away.

Then you just sit back and wait for her to bring up the idea of a relationship. Remember this, women want to chase. Not be chased.

Oh yes, forget about her ex or any other guy. The only thing that matters is how you deal with her when you are together.

She's not taking it slow because of her ex. You just haven't convinced her yet that you are the man. If you're doing your job right she'll forget about that other bozo soon enough.

Once again, no talking about relationships (past, present, or future). No talking about where things are going, when the next date is, date frequency, getting too involved, etc. Keep her on her toes. She prefers not to know this stuff. Its more exciting that way.

In the early stages just have FUN

Cheers
GOLD!!!!!!
 

Genghis Juan

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Wow,

You guys are sooo right! Thank god for this site and your advice. Advice from friends and family is so goddamn useless.

I definitely didn't pressure her into talking about the status report stuff. She usually blitzes me with this stuff like a school teacher giving a kid a report card. Sometimes I let it fluster me and throw off my seduction game.

From now on I will simply get the information she wants and then change the conversation to fun. My friends and everyone tell me I am one of the funniest guys so that should'nt be too hard.

One other question though to you guys.

I don't want to call her, but what should I do for Valentine's Day? I was considering sending her a Yahoo e-card or something. I was thinking about just typing something funny and light like, "I am so lucky to have met a girl from Kentucky" or something goofy and funny.

Thanks again!! This thread is great.
 
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I personally wouldn't send her anything, you are not her valentine yet :), and this gesture may look too eager on your part.

If she is a hb9, then she is use to getting a lot of attention, don't push it. This is something a chump would do!
 

Genghis Juan

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OK PRL,

I won't send her anything then.

On to hunt for other prospects and I'm sure this girl will contact me when she is ready to get another date with the best man she has ever met! ;)
 
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