Proving yourself to women through sex

[New_Journey]

Many men in the dating community need to prove their masculinity when they are describing their sex life. They say things like: I'm fvcking her great everytime, she's having mind blowing sex with me, I do this type of exercise because it helps me be a beast when having sex. Many men have that condition because they're lacking something in them, trauma or an unresolve insecurity, therefore being "a best in bed" is for the validation they receive after X condition is met in the bedroom, this causes their egos to grow.

Every men should be good at sex, I mean its not rocket science, humans have literally been having it forever. Notice how you never hear from them, puffing their chest saying the sex their women give is mind blowing? When are you going to let her prove herself to you with in the bedroom? Sex should be a reward for women, I mean, after all, we are the carriers of life and when things are not scarce, they are not valued. Since when sex has become such a tool to prove yourself to women?

If you are afraid that a particular woman won't like you or contact you because you can't meet certain condition in the bedroom, its okay, you are the prize, you don't have to prove anything to her, she has to prove herself to you that her sex is superior to the other women you are fvcking.

 

[jhonny9546]

She has to prove herself to you that her sex is superior to the other women you are f***ing.

And how will she do that?
Anyway, your post is legitimate. Being indifferent to the outcome. But it sounds manipulative because you, as a man, are not enjoying the sex because you're expecting her to make it amazing? For me, sex is unplanned, very animalistic. The best ever. When I’m not thinking about what I’m doing but it just comes naturally. I suspect it’s the same for women. (Flow state?)

Every man should be good at sex

I don’t know why, but this made me think of a completely different topic.
Nowadays, there’s incredible competition in every field due to comparison. With the internet, and the fact that women have access to everything, it makes their hypergamy out of control. If once upon a time, your grandfather and grandmother lived together for 50 years because they were confined to the same city and always saw the same people, today, with us being in cities, not settling for traveling twice a year, wanting to meet new people all the time, especially since it’s women who are doing it, and they’re emotional, it’s all competition for men.


I don’t know why this came to my mind, but today, it’s better to go to a small town or the suburbs to find a good woman after filtering out the red flags and live there, have your restrict social circle there, make your name there. The city is an highway of opportunity and a mess for sincere lasting relationships. If you want a family, a good woman, a good tribe, look at those amish and more traditional people: scarcity is needed, and bit of dread...

 

[RickTheToad]

Sex is for you, not her. It's not your responsibility to make her climax. One cannot control another person's enjoyment or climax. One can help, but it's no guarantee. I dated this one smoke show in 2017. After about 20 + minutes of sex, I asked if everything is okay? She said, I can't climax. "For some reason, me (her), her sister and her sister all have the same issue." They were all on anti-depressants too.

Stop trying to please women. Please yourself first; her climax is her problem.

 

[jhonny9546]

her climax is her problem

My LTR would often send me passages from the erotica novels she was reading, things that really turned her on. When the moment was right, I’d read those exact parts back to her, and we'd try acting them out together. I wasn’t consciously thinking about it as focusing on pleasing her; I was just caught up in the moment, turned on myself by seeing how much it affected her.

 

[New_Journey]

there’s incredible competition in every field due to comparison.

When you are good, you don't think about competition, you just are. This is like competing with the next neighbor to see who has the best garden. Competition is the thief of joy.

Please yourself first; her climax is her problem.

Agree 100%

My LTR would often send me passages from the erotica novels she was reading, things that really turned her on. When the moment was right, I’d read those exact parts back to her, and we'd try acting them out together. I wasn’t consciously thinking about it as focusing on pleasing her; I was just caught up in the moment, turned on myself by seeing how much it affected her.

You become somebody else to please her. Classic mistake and very unattractive.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

Sex is for you, not her. It's not your responsibility to make her climax. One cannot control another person's enjoyment or climax. One can help, but it's no guarantee.

Stop trying to please women. Please yourself first; her climax is her problem.

I think the total opposite way. The woman is the one to please in intimacy, especially if you want her to stick around. They like long sex sessions whether she orgasms or not, she wants a lot of sex.

If you just screw a woman for five minutes and then you go to sleep, you didn’t do your job as a man because after 5 minutes she is only getting started feeling aroused. Women can go all night long.

After 5 minutes with a guy like you she might as well log in to Tinder to order up a couple more guys that night, since you’re asleep.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Every men should be good at sex...

I agree! And so should women!

I also agree with the thread title that men should not have to prove himself through sex. 100%!

That said...

For me part of being "good" at sex is caring about HIS pleasure not just my own.

Like when I'm giving him a BJ for example. I love his p*nis but it's all for him.

Same with intercourse, anal whatever - it's for both his pleasure and my pleasure. And when a man is "good," yes anal (although it hurts a bit) can be quite good! The hurt is good kind of hurt.

But he has to give a shyt for goodness sake.. As should I. We're in this together! That's what makes sex great! At least imo.

I'm curious how do you define being "good at sex" for a man?

Surely I must be missing something cause on its face the statements "a man must be good at sex" and "her orgasm (and pleasure) is her problem" contradict imo.

 

[New_Journey]

For me part of being "good" at sex is caring about HIS pleasure not just my own.

her pleasure) is her problem

Your pleasure is pleasuring him, you've answered that question yourself.

I'm curious how do you define being "good at sex" for a man?

This is highly subjective. However, the general consensus says, do not have PE or ED. What you do from starting to finish should be focusing on pleasure, not to impress anyone. While agree, both have to be aware how the how the person feels, but the problems is when that becomes the focus and lose sight of your own.

 

[New_Journey]

I think the total opposite way. The woman is the one to please in intimacy, especially if you want her to stick around. They like long sex sessions whether she orgasms or not, she wants a lot of sex.

If you just screw a woman for five minutes and then you go to sleep, you didn’t do your job as a man because after 5 minutes she is only getting started feeling aroused. Women can go all night long.

After 5 minutes with a guy like you she might as well log in to Tinder to order up a couple more guys that night, since you’re asleep.

Why does it have to be 5 minutes? You're not very smart that you resort to extremes to prove a point? It appears you don't have that much sex experience right?

especially if you want her to stick around.

This is a covert contract, "if I give her a lot of sex, she will stick around. Do you feel that low that has to do whatever so she sticks around? Who gives a fvck is not that she's the only woman available.

she wants a lot of sex.

I don't give a fvck what she wants. Its her problem to find what she wants, not yours.

Women can go all night long.

Yeah, women also can cook for me, have babies, do my chores, work while I attend the babies at home, cut the grass, change the tires in my car. What is your point? Spend "long hours" fvcking because she can do it? Great way of putting her on a pedestal.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

…

 

[Sega Genesis]

While agree, both have to be aware how the how the person feels...

^^Fabulous! We're in agreement then.
.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I am a firm believer in the Modelo Especial commercial:

"It doesn't matter what you do in life. Just be the best at it."

 

[characternote]

I'm curious how do you define being "good at sex" for a man?

that's an interesting question, tbh. I see this question asked on reddit a lot and people really struggle to give answers. The men tend to answer as if they have some amazing secret they can't reveal, and the women tend to answer that it's all about the 'little things' (eye contact, making noise, kissing etc)

I remember quite a while ago when I was young and had banged a few girls and wanted to make sure I was 'good' I went to some forums and reddit subs etc, and loads of the guys would brag about being 'absolutely amazing in bed'. When I pushed them to tell me what they did, they were kind of secretive but eventually 'revealed' their big secrets, which was along the lines of 'girls have ****s and like them being rubber and licked'. As if every 14 year old doesn't know that! lol. I then assumed that all of these guys bragging were like in their 60's and just weren't aware that everyone else already knew what they knew. And with p0rn and stuff, all 14 year olds also know about all the positions etc. So I realised that people who were always bragging about that were just talking nonsense tbh lol.

There's very little variance that is even physically possible in terms of penetration and so really all guys bang the same, more or less. We can't make our c0cks do sommersaults inside of her lol

So being 'good at sex' in reality, just means having a big d1ck and being able to last some time without busting too fast.

I lost my virginity at like 16 too a girl who was a fair bit older. I didn't tell her I was a virgin. I'd watched a lot of porn so it wasn't as though it was a mystery to me. She thought I was 'great in bed' and kept hitting me up and wanted to LTR me. I think the reason she thought that is because my nerves made it hard for me to cvm so I was able to bang her for like 45mins straight. And I knew a few positions from watching p0rn. And eating pu$$y? hard to go wrong! Girls literally cvm from having their pet dogs eat them out! (And I don't think them dogs read 'the sex god method' or anything lol)

Basically just about every guy thinks they are amazing at sex.

 

[New_Journey]

So being 'good at sex' in reality, just means having a big d1ck and being able to last some time without busting too fast.

Where did you get that from? This is totally wrong

I was able to bang her for like 45mins straight

You are in your own head when it comes to sex. You think sex is a chore to do for X amount of time, otherwise it hasn't been properly done, it doesn't work like that. Have you ever being very honry that you've fvcked a girl and have *** in like 5 minutes? Do you know what happens?

Girls literally cvm from having their pet dogs eat them out!

If this were true, then why are you spending 45 minutes to please a girl who literally cvms that easy?

 

[jhonny9546]

You become somebody else to please her. Classic mistake and very unattractive.

I’d like to clarify: you're not becoming someone else: you're still yourself, but you're fulfilling her fantasies.
Women can be very fickle, and maybe one day she'll be a very simple girl, and then after reading something erotic, she turns into a slut with you, well, then you’ll want to go along with it. You won’t want to tell her She's wrong or that She is a nymphomaniac. (Like a friend of mine told to his wife, after she become so horny).

 

[New_Journey]

you're fulfilling her fantasies.

How about your fantasies? Did you tell her to fulfill yours?

 

[jhonny9546]

How about your fantasies? Did you tell her to fulfill yours?

Of course, and She does.