Women don’t want to play mother to a weak and over-sensitive boyfriend. Their maternal nature is reserved for their babies. It’s our role, as men, to offer protection and emotional stability. Strength, dignity and confidence are qualities epitomised by the alpha male. They act as a primal lure to the female species.
In the aftermath of a breakup, however, we tend to lose our composure and fall victim to our emotions. We’re overcome with desperation and paranoia, and we begin to question our worth.
It happens to the strongest of men. Even soldiers, firefighters and hardened criminals are susceptible to a broken heart. Let me tell you, it’s natural and it’s OK.
What’s not OK is laying it all on your ex.
Acting needy and unstable is the surest way to kill attraction. Cry into your pillow, confide in a trusted friend, punch walls if you must, but don’t let her see you falling apart. Keep that **** to yourself.
Avoid chasing her away forever
Imagine this scenario. Six months into your relationship, your girlfriend gets complacent with her appearance. She’s stuffing her face with junk food every night, can’t be bothered to shower and her lower half is hairier than a baby gorilla. You still care about her as a person, but you flinch when she touches you and turn away when she’s naked. You no longer find her attractive and she shows no signs of pulling herself together, so you decide to end the relationship.
A month later, she turns up on your doorstep. She’s gained another 10lbs, her hair is greasy, and she stinks of body odour and chips. Is this going to make you want her back? No ****ing chance! It’ll just confirm your decision to cut her loose.
Well, this is exactly how your ex sees you when you’re acting weak. Every time you chase, beg or play the victim, you disgust her even more. When you retaliate in anger or try to provoke an argument, you might think you’re standing up to her, but all she sees is a child having a tantrum because he can’t get his own way.
Emotional fragility is repulsive to women.
It’s not that she chooses to feel this way, just as you don’t have a choice who you find physically attractive. It’s instinctive.
To feel attraction for you, she must respect you and she can’t do that if you have her placed on a pedestal and you’re seeking her validation.
You need to protect your dignity at all cost. It determines how you perceive yourself, how you approach life, and it defines you as a man. If you don’t respect yourself, nobody will.
Walk away with Dignity
If you can walk away from your breakup with your head held high, it demonstrates strength. It’s a chance to redeem yourself and prove you’re not the weak man she may have mistaken you for.
You know that life goes on and you’ll be OK without her. You’re moving on to new things and following your purpose in life. There is nothing more attractive than that.
Make her last memory of you a good one. Be non-resistant and wish her well. Allow her to remember you as a classy guy who walked away with his head held high. This is for your own sake as much as it is for hers.
After you have parted ways, you need to disappear from her life. Any further interaction risks tarnishing that final memory, especially if you make contact when your emotions are high and her interest is low.
If you respect her decision and handle the breakup in a dignified way, she’s more likely to take a second chance at the relationship. If you cause a scene, stalk her or whine like a *****, however, she’ll never risk putting herself (or you) through that again.
So, what if I already lost my dignity?
When we’re hurting, we can react impulsively and behave in irrational ways. If you’ve made these mistakes you need to stop now.
No final words, no last ditch effort, no explaining or apologising. Any attempt to fix the damage will appear desperate. Just walk away.
If it’s any consolation, I handled some past breakups badly too. I chased, played mind games and lost my dignity for a while. But after a period of no contact, putting my own needs first and moving on, many of my exes came back.
It’s not a lost cause, but you need to give her space.
More importantly, you need to let go of her and realise that the most important person in your life is, and always will be, YOU.
In the aftermath of a breakup, however, we tend to lose our composure and fall victim to our emotions. We’re overcome with desperation and paranoia, and we begin to question our worth.
It happens to the strongest of men. Even soldiers, firefighters and hardened criminals are susceptible to a broken heart. Let me tell you, it’s natural and it’s OK.
What’s not OK is laying it all on your ex.
Acting needy and unstable is the surest way to kill attraction. Cry into your pillow, confide in a trusted friend, punch walls if you must, but don’t let her see you falling apart. Keep that **** to yourself.
Avoid chasing her away forever
Imagine this scenario. Six months into your relationship, your girlfriend gets complacent with her appearance. She’s stuffing her face with junk food every night, can’t be bothered to shower and her lower half is hairier than a baby gorilla. You still care about her as a person, but you flinch when she touches you and turn away when she’s naked. You no longer find her attractive and she shows no signs of pulling herself together, so you decide to end the relationship.
A month later, she turns up on your doorstep. She’s gained another 10lbs, her hair is greasy, and she stinks of body odour and chips. Is this going to make you want her back? No ****ing chance! It’ll just confirm your decision to cut her loose.
Well, this is exactly how your ex sees you when you’re acting weak. Every time you chase, beg or play the victim, you disgust her even more. When you retaliate in anger or try to provoke an argument, you might think you’re standing up to her, but all she sees is a child having a tantrum because he can’t get his own way.
Emotional fragility is repulsive to women.
It’s not that she chooses to feel this way, just as you don’t have a choice who you find physically attractive. It’s instinctive.
To feel attraction for you, she must respect you and she can’t do that if you have her placed on a pedestal and you’re seeking her validation.
You need to protect your dignity at all cost. It determines how you perceive yourself, how you approach life, and it defines you as a man. If you don’t respect yourself, nobody will.
Walk away with Dignity
If you can walk away from your breakup with your head held high, it demonstrates strength. It’s a chance to redeem yourself and prove you’re not the weak man she may have mistaken you for.
You know that life goes on and you’ll be OK without her. You’re moving on to new things and following your purpose in life. There is nothing more attractive than that.
Make her last memory of you a good one. Be non-resistant and wish her well. Allow her to remember you as a classy guy who walked away with his head held high. This is for your own sake as much as it is for hers.
After you have parted ways, you need to disappear from her life. Any further interaction risks tarnishing that final memory, especially if you make contact when your emotions are high and her interest is low.
If you respect her decision and handle the breakup in a dignified way, she’s more likely to take a second chance at the relationship. If you cause a scene, stalk her or whine like a *****, however, she’ll never risk putting herself (or you) through that again.
So, what if I already lost my dignity?
When we’re hurting, we can react impulsively and behave in irrational ways. If you’ve made these mistakes you need to stop now.
No final words, no last ditch effort, no explaining or apologising. Any attempt to fix the damage will appear desperate. Just walk away.
If it’s any consolation, I handled some past breakups badly too. I chased, played mind games and lost my dignity for a while. But after a period of no contact, putting my own needs first and moving on, many of my exes came back.
It’s not a lost cause, but you need to give her space.
More importantly, you need to let go of her and realise that the most important person in your life is, and always will be, YOU.
