Proposal Etiquette

[iqqi]

If any of you ever got to the point where you asked a girl to marry you (and I know some of you have already), how would you want the girl to react if she wasn't sure?

If the proposal was elaborate and really thought out, would you want her to say yes if it was not a for sure no, even if she wasn't sure?

 

[ketostix]

What kind of AFC would propose in a elaborate way to a girl who wasn't "sure"?

 

[cordoncordon]

If any of you ever got to the point where you asked a girl to marry you (and I know some of you have already), how would you want the girl to react if she wasn't sure?

If the proposal was elaborate and really thought out, would you want her to say yes if it was not a for sure no, even if she wasn't sure?

No, I would rather her be 100% honest with me with whatever questions/concerns she might have NOW rather than go through an entire ordeal of planning the wedding only to find out she has doubts for whatever reason.

Why iqqi, are planing on asking me to marry you? We would have to have sexy time first before I can make such a commitment of marital bliss.

 

[iqqi]

No, I would rather her be 100% honest with me with whatever questions/concerns she might have NOW rather than go through an entire ordeal of planning the wedding only to find out she has doubts for whatever reason.

Why iqqi, are planing on asking me to marry you? We would have to have sexy time first before I can make such a commitment of marital bliss.

Lol.

What I mean is, say you propose in front of people or something, and she had questions or wasn't sure, would you rather her say yes then and there, and then later after all the hubbub, talk over her concerns? After all, and engagement is not set in stone, and the wedding preparations wouldn't have to start immediately.

It just seems like saying "I don't know" and asking questions would disrupt the flow, and there could be some very uncomfortable silence from the onlookers. (Parents, friends, or whatever). And that could be held against the marriage if it were to actually go down.

I don't mean for the girl to pretend. And let the whole marriage get planned and then leave you on the alter!

 

[cordoncordon]

Well if it was in front of a bunch of people I would understand if she said yes and then told me later in private that she wasn't totally sold on the idea. No need in making everyone uncomfortable and embarrassing the potential groom.

Don't worry Iqqi, I'll say yes. Maybe.

 

[ketostix]

Lol.

What I mean is, say you propose in front of people or something, and she had questions or wasn't sure, would you rather her say yes then and there, and then later after all the hubbub, talk over her concerns? After all, and engagement is not set in stone, and the wedding preparations wouldn't have to start immediately.

It just seems like saying "I don't know" and asking questions would disrupt the flow, and there could be some very uncomfortable silence from the onlookers. (Parents, friends, or whatever). And that could be held against the marriage if it were to actually go down.

I don't mean for the girl to pretend. And let the whole marriage get planned and then leave you on the alter!

Are really asking such an elementary hypothetical question? Of course she shouldn't embarass and shame him publically, and so she should say yes, then sort it out later privately. The real question is how could a couples communication be so poor or her being so indecisive for something like this to actually happen :crazy: .

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

If you are planning on proposing, always buy the ring yourself. NEVER offer to allow a woman to choose her own wedding ring, NEVER. There is no greater AFC move in the history of AFCness than a guy accompanying his fiancé to the jewelry store where she gleefully sifts through tens of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Rest assured, that ring isn't a symbol of your undying love and devotion, it's about showing it off to her girlfriends.

In fact the best practice is to buy the ring, keep it in the little box, and then propose. If she accepts, open the box, if not NEVER show her the ring.

 

[RedPill]

In fact the best practice is to buy the ring, keep it in the little box, and then propose. If she accepts, open the box, if not NEVER show her the ring.

But that's not how they train you to do it in commercials and movies. You're supposed to show her the ring first so she can decide whether or not the ring is acceptable, before deciding whether you're acceptable. She needs to be able to weigh how much of a 'wow' effect it will have on her social circle before making any lesser decisions, like whether to accept your offer to pledge 70% of your current and future worth to her.

 

[cordoncordon]

But that's not how they train you to do it in commercials and movies. You're supposed to show her the ring first so she can decide whether or not the ring is acceptable, before deciding whether you're acceptable. She needs to be able to weigh how much of a 'wow' effect it will have on her social circle before making any lesser decisions, like whether to accept your offer to pledge 70% of your current and future worth to her.

Wow you guys are bitter lol.

 

[MacAvoy]

I would NEVER propose if I wasn't 100% certain she would say yes. If she had any doubts at all, I would like to think that I would walk away because at that point, I've lost all the power in the relationship and I would be setting myself up for guaranteed heartache.

 

[Phyzzle]

LOL

 

[KarmaSutra]

If you are planning on proposing, always buy the ring yourself. NEVER offer to allow a woman to choose her own wedding ring, NEVER. There is no greater AFC move in the history of AFCness than a guy accompanying his fiancé to the jewelry store where she gleefully sifts through tens of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Rest assured, that ring isn't a symbol of your undying love and devotion, it's about showing it off to her girlfriends.

In fact the best practice is to buy the ring, keep it in the little box, and then propose. If she accepts, open the box, if not NEVER show her the ring.

This is the most sensible sh!t I've ever read. When I got married the ex bought her and my rings.

She also bought me out of my marriage so I guess I'm the luckiest fvcker in the world!

 

[Colossus]

If you are planning on proposing, always buy the ring yourself. NEVER offer to allow a woman to choose her own wedding ring, NEVER. There is no greater AFC move in the history of AFCness than a guy accompanying his fiancé to the jewelry store where she gleefully sifts through tens of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Rest assured, that ring isn't a symbol of your undying love and devotion, it's about showing it off to her girlfriends.

In fact the best practice is to buy the ring, keep it in the little box, and then propose. If she accepts, open the box, if not NEVER show her the ring.

:crackup: :crackup:

The sad thing is that we all probably know a few guys who have, are planning to, or are doing this as we speak.

Iqqi--

First of all, I would not propose to a woman unless I knew that she wanted the same things I do out of marriage and had expressed to me in some genuine way that I am the man she wants to say her vows with. Some might say there is no risk or romance in that, but hey it's my future marriage.

Secondly, I would never propose in front of other people. I'm a private person and that would be an exceptionally private moment. Let the wedding be a time for congrats and applause.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

According to tradition (who's I don't know) a wedding ring should be valued at a three months of a man's annual salary. Lets say that's $60K, so the ring "should" cost $15K. Which do you think the average westernized woman will want; a $2000 ring and a $13K down payment on a house OR a $15K ring, bragging rights and another 6 years renting an apartment?

 

[mrRuckus]

Lol.

What I mean is, say you propose in front of people or something, and she had questions or wasn't sure, would you rather her say yes then and there, and then later after all the hubbub, talk over her concerns? After all, and engagement is not set in stone, and the wedding preparations wouldn't have to start immediately.

She should have been begging me to get married to her by the time I would propose. In fact, I think I'll wait so long that she'll propose to me. I'm not much for tradition where the woman is treated like she's superly awesome and i'm just along for the ride.


I mean really.. SHE is the one who wants to get married so bad.. shouldn't she be asking me? Or is the fairy tale more important to her than having a loving, dedicated spouse who will remain healthy, vibrant, and faithful throughout the marriage?

It'd be like the dentist begging me to give a root canal when i have a toothache. Shouldn't i be begging him?!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It'd be like the dentist begging me to give a root canal when i have a toothache. Shouldn't i be begging him?!

I bow to your art. This is gold.

 

[Colossus]

Which do you think the average westernized woman will want; a $2000 ring and a $13K down payment on a house OR a $15K ring, bragging rights and another 6 years renting an apartment?

The average westernized woman wants the $15k ring, the house, the kids, and the option to leave as soon as she is unhappy...with your money.

 

[Señor Fingers]

One of the things I LOVE about Spain is that they don't really sweat the whole engagement ring thing here. Sure you have a few of these folks emulating America, but there is no real social pressure for you to show up with a rock or anything. They actually laugh at American chicks for being so materialistic here.

And people wonder why I never came back

 

[afrojiggles]

One of the things I LOVE about Spain is that they don't really sweat the whole engagement ring thing here. Sure you have a few of these folks emulating America, but there is no real social pressure for you to show up with a rock or anything. They actually laugh at American chicks for being so materialistic here.

And people wonder why I never came back

i bet thats why we havent heard from you for long time, ehe senor fingz!! anyway where is the book you promised to release after WMS?

 

[joekerr31]

If any of you ever got to the point where you asked a girl to marry you (and I know some of you have already), how would you want the girl to react if she wasn't sure?

If the proposal was elaborate and really thought out, would you want her to say yes if it was not a for sure no, even if she wasn't sure?

the only response that is appropriate would be her crying out of joy.

anything else is a big red flag that you shouldn't marry her.

as for her - if she's not sure i'd rather she tell me that.