"Professional Ladies" and wanting men to pay for everything

[RickTheToad]

Do it slowly. Take baby steps towards that end.

Take down those mental barriers you're put up to protect yourself.

Trust in your ability to bounce back when you're been hurt.



I seriously pay for everything on a date. In fact I will insist and would take offence when a woman insists to pay her part.

This is not about her but it's about me and my manhood. It's my standard and that sets my reputation.

Plenty of women have taken advantage of my generosity at 1st but as time passes by they come to realise it's not about me trying to buy my way into their panties.

It's far from it and then when they finally get it, they can't help but admire me.

And when that happens, every single one of those women "pays" me back far more then a mere dinner or drinks would cost.

And it's not just with women, it's with everyone I come into contact with during dinner or drinks.

The payback is diverse - a genuine smile, a genuine offer to pay for the next date which I will decline, an opening of their hearts towards me etc. The list is endless in my favor.

How could I possibly be a chump when I end up a winner ?

Do you see the difference in how we think, that influences how we do things and the different results we both get ?

But this is just the start. There's lots more social hurdles you need to overcome.

Take baby steps forward until you're learn to walk.

Do this and then report back.

I will assist you with how to communicate - handle women's wants and needs after you're done what I've mentioned.

Not as well off as you dude. Props for you to be well off, but I cannot front the bill for everything. Drinks, food events, sure. I will not pay for an Uber or a vacation.

The last one wanted me to send an Uber for her on NYE when I invited her to the event and dinner. I happily paid for both + NYC parking. I was originally going to pick her up at her place or she was going to meet at mine, but she wasn't able to do so. How's that my fault? I should pay a 60.00 ride on top of the NYC excursion, dinner and parking? Fvck that. She said she thought that since she was flying back just for me I should do so. She even said I am going home first and then back to the city. I said stay there, don't come. I was pissed then she backtracked. I knew the relationship had run it's course as she started talking about marriage (five months in) after we got home. I said I think you're putting the cart before the horse here. Then I was downgraded to just a fvck buddy after I wouldn't take care of her when she got the flu. Keep in mind, I was in the hospital for a week and she was mum. Wasn't doing it to get even, I just didn't want to get sick. I even said we'd meet up when she's better in a few days. Wasn't good enough. I digress, I am getting off track with the post. It was a very frustrating NYE experience. I know I have a lot to learn, and I just feel I was wronged. She contacted me again, but I draw the line at disrespect. It's funny, they always contact later when you walk away thinking they can come back. I just don't reply. I'd love to actually know how the mind of a lady works when they give these ultimatums (I.E. I'll keep you around to fvck, but I also will be fvcking other guys WITH your knowledge. Who the fvck would agree to this?). Who knows, maybe it's me and I am just too staunch in my internal beliefs. I slept around in my 20's, I am nearing 40, it's tiresome.

Anyways, always open to learn from the community on what I am doing wrong or how I'm processing things incorrectly. I cannot help taking things to heart, that's my personality. I don't get hurt, I am just angry at myself for allowing myself to get into certain situations. No one likes failure.

 

[RickTheToad]

I’m surprised they didn’t tell you how “independent” they are and then follow it up with “I live with my parents due to X,Y,Z not my fault bla bla bla”. Earlier in 2018 I had several dates with women who did exactly this. Just because a woman makes good money like a doctor or school principal doesn’t mean she can manage it well. Some of these women who have good jobs also have so much debt that they can’t possibly live on their own.

The best one I had was the one who said she made about 70 K in the medical field. But was living with her parents because the court ordered her to pay her soon to be ex-husband alimony!! I was about ready to laugh so hard I could hardly control myself when she told me that story while we were sitting at Buffalo Wild Wings on our first ( and last) date.

Heard that before too. When I lady tells me that they're independent, I just smirk or sometimes even laugh out loud as we both know that's bullsh!t. In all the years I've been dating, only one lady was actually independent. One. Though, she was an alpha-female. Attractive, but always had to be the boss. She married a pudgy dude a few years older than her. She made him move into her tiny condo. I know, as I recall discussing some upgrades we can do for her condo after she purchased it.

 

[Spaz]

Not as well off as you dude. Props for you to be well off, but I cannot front the bill for everything. Drinks, food events, sure. I will not pay for an Uber or a vacation.

The last one wanted me to send an Uber for her on NYE when I invited her to the event and dinner. I happily paid for both + NYC parking. I was originally going to pick her up at her place or she was going to meet at mine, but she wasn't able to do so. How's that my fault? I should pay a 60.00 ride on top of the NYC excursion, dinner and parking? Fvck that. She said she thought that since she was flying back just for me I should do so. She even said I am going home first and then back to the city. I said stay there, don't come. I was pissed then she backtracked. I knew the relationship had run it's course as she started talking about marriage (five months in) after we got home. I said I think you're putting the cart before the horse here. Then I was downgraded to just a fvck buddy after I wouldn't take care of her when she got the flu. Keep in mind, I was in the hospital for a week and she was mum. Wasn't doing it to get even, I just didn't want to get sick. I even said we'd meet up when she's better in a few days. Wasn't good enough. I digress, I am getting off track with the post. It was a very frustrating NYE experience. I know I have a lot to learn, and I just feel I was wronged. She contacted me again, but I draw the line at disrespect. It's funny, they always contact later when you walk away thinking they can come back. I just don't reply. I'd love to actually know how the mind of a lady works when they give these ultimatums (I.E. I'll keep you around to fvck, but I also will be fvcking other guys WITH your knowledge. Who the fvck would agree to this?). Who knows, maybe it's me and I am just too staunch in my internal beliefs. I slept around in my 20's, I am nearing 40, it's tiresome.

Anyways, always open to learn from the community on what I am doing wrong or how I'm processing things incorrectly. I cannot help taking things to heart, that's my personality. I don't get hurt, I am just angry at myself for allowing myself to get into certain situations. No one likes failure.

All of ur replies thus far has leaned more towards venting of ur frustrations rather then an actual participation towards a viable solution that could potentially benefit you.

Looks like my efforts in this thread has come to a premature end.

 

[RickTheToad]

All of ur replies thus far has leaned more towards venting of ur frustrations rather then an actual participation towards a viable solution that could potentially benefit you.

Looks like my efforts in this thread has come to a premature end.

Not sure how you are coming to that conclusion, as I did end the previous reply as:

Anyways, always open to learn from the community on what I am doing wrong or how I'm processing things incorrectly.

 

[steelpulse]

Why does it cost $100 to get into Manhattan? Bridgeport to Manhattan is 120 miles round trip, $30 gas? $20-$30 one day parking?

 

[Die Hard]

Relax Rick.

Allow me to explain away your worries of being a chump.

If I invited her out for a vacation then yes I will pay for it. You don't invite a woman for a vacation when you have no intention of paying do you ?

And when I'm too busy or lazy to fetch her then I'll offer to pay for her Uber ride.

She'll then feel not taken advantage off wouldn't she ?

Her dignity as a woman will then be safeguarded by you.

By doing so I'm communicating that i place value on her time and willingness to spend it with me.

That's doesn't equate me as a chump.

That communicates that I'm a man who has high standards when it comes to treating women or people in general.

Edit: In this scenario I still end up the winner and not a chump.

I feel like I'm coming from the same perspective as Rick does... I'm trying to understand what you're explaining, Spaz...but it just doesn't make sense to me.

1. You're talking about the situation where you invite her out for a vacation. Well sure, if you invite her then it's logical that you pay for her. But what about the situation where a guy and a woman simply decide to go on a vacation together? Not him inviting her...but him and her mutually deciding to go on a vacation?

2. You talk about being too lazy to fetch her and paying for her Uber instead. This presupposes that it's your responsibility to somehow transport her to your home, either by fetching her or by paying for her Uber. But what about the option of her driving to your home in her own damn car and paying for her own damn gas??? Why do you presuppose that it's the man's responsibility to facilitate her means of getting to your home? I mean regardless of whether you can easily afford it or not, why would you be responsible for her transport? Please explain this?

After you've explained that matter separately, let's factor in the relative cost for the guy to facilitate her transport. I get what you say, paying doesn't neccesarily make you a chump, you may see it rewarded by a genuine smile, her opening her heart and other things, as you mentioned. But you ignore the fact that you earn a lot more than Rick (or myself) and therefor it's easy for you to do this. I mean, it's easy for Bill Gates to pay lots of money to charity, to research for the cure of cancer or whatever, and he gets a lot of recognition for it, he is rewarded by other people's admiration etc. But he HAS the money to do that. What if you don't have it? What then? What if the cost of paying for her Uber is pretty high relative to your salary?

What I'm saying is, you're just trying to change Rick's mindset about whether he should or shouldn't pay for all kinds of stuff while dating a woman. But the issue isn't that one-dimensional, it's not just about his mindset........you have to factor in the question of whether he does or doesn't have a lot of money to spend....
You say he should change his mindset from "She's using me and it pisses me off" to "I'm being generous to her and this makes me feel good" But you forget that it's easy to be generous when you have lots of money, it's not so easy to be generous when you have less money to spend, therefor it's not so easy to adopt the suggested mindset in that case.

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn't care about a woman expecting me to pay for everything. Big deal, it wouldn't make a dent in my bank account, so I wouldn't even bother myself with that particular thought "she's using me!" I'd simply enjoy fvcking her after I paid for everything
But if I could barely pay my rent and a woman expected me to pay for everything, you bet I'd be pissed off at her attitude and I'd be preoccupied by that particular thought "she's using me!". It's only natural, right?

So I guess instead of advicing Rick to change his mindset, it would be better to advice him to improve his income haha. Coz as long as that doesn't happen, I don't think he (or anyone) can adopt the change of mindset you're suggesting.

 

[Ranger]

Really good stuff in this thread

 

[AJ84]

I feel like I'm coming from the same perspective as Rick does... I'm trying to understand what you're explaining, Spaz...but it just doesn't make sense to me.

1. You're talking about the situation where you invite her out for a vacation. Well sure, if you invite her then it's logical that you pay for her. But what about the situation where a guy and a woman simply decide to go on a vacation together? Not him inviting her...but him and her mutually deciding to go on a vacation?

2. You talk about being too lazy to fetch her and paying for her Uber instead. This presupposes that it's your responsibility to somehow transport her to your home, either by fetching her or by paying for her Uber. But what about the option of her driving to your home in her own damn car and paying for her own damn gas??? Why do you presuppose that it's the man's responsibility to facilitate her means of getting to your home? I mean regardless of whether you can easily afford it or not, why would you be responsible for her transport? Please explain this?

After you've explained that matter seperately, let's factor in the relative cost for the guy to facilitate her transport. I get what you say, paying doesn't neccesarily make you a chump, you may see it rewarded by a genuine smile, her opening her heart and other things, as you mentioned. But you ignore the fact that you earn a lot more than Rick (or myself) and therefor it's easy for you to do this. I mean, it's easy for Bill Gates to pay lots of money to charity, to research for the cure of cancer or whatever, and he gets a lot of recognition for it, he is rewarded by other people's admiration etc. But he HAS the money to do that. What if you don't have it? What then? What if the cost of paying for her Uber is pretty high relative to your salary?

What I'm saying is, you're just trying to change Rick's mindset about whether he should or shouldn't pay for all kinds of stuff while dating a woman. But the issue isn't that one-dimensional, it's not just about his mindset........you have to factor in the question of whether he does or doesn't have a lot of money to spend....
You say he should change his mindset from "She's using me and it pisses me off" to "I'm being generous to her and this makes me feel good" But you forget that it's easy to be generous when you have lots of money, it's not so easy to be generous when you have less money to spend, therefor it's not so easy to adopt the suggested mindset in that case.

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn't care about a woman expecting me to pay for everything. Big deal, it wouldn't make a dent in my bank account, so I wouldn't even bother myself with that particular thought "she's using me!" I'd simply enjoy fvcking her after I paid for everything
But if I could barely pay my rent and a woman expected me to pay for everything, you bet I'd be pissed off at her attitude and I'd be preoccupied by that particular thought "she's using me!". It's only natural, right?

So I guess instead of advicing Rick to change his mindset, it would be better to advice him to improve his income haha.

Any woman, especially one with means, should not be expecting the man to pay for everything and take care of her. You can’t have the ‘strong independent woman’ vibe and expect 1950s courting.

It’s a double standard in a feminist society.

Regarding Spaz, he lives as an expat in a poor Asian country somewhere and has money so its likely not an issue in a place where 20 bucks goes a long way. Also there are a lot of poor women there who literally can’t afford cabs much less have a driver’s license and a car.

Spaz before you retort I’m not saying this as a slight to you, you’re cleaning up there and that’s great. I just think that it’s kind of key for the guys who are questioning your advice to understand the context. It’s much easier for you to pay for all these dates where you live, than it is for some guys living in wealthier countries like the US or UK, where many women are not poor and have cars and money for taxis and vacations and things are more expensive.

Really, you have to factor in the location, dating culture, and gender dynamics. Manila or Bangkok or whatever you live and date is not Maimi or LA or Montreal or London or the mid west USA. Places like that are different and dating there is different in some ways.

Women in the West can afford to pay for some dates and should not feel entitled to a man’s money.

 

[steelpulse]

Any woman, especially one with means, should not be expecting the man to pay for everything and take care of her. You can’t have the ‘strong independent woman’ vibe and expect 1950s courting.

It’s a double standard in a feminist society.

Regarding Spaz, he lives as an expat in a poor Asian country somewhere and has money so its likely not an issue in a place where 20 bucks goes a long way. Also there are a lot of poor women there who literally can’t afford cabs much less have a driver’s license and a car.

Spaz before you retort I’m not saying this as a slight to you, you’re cleaning up there and that’s great. I just think that it’s kind of key for the guys who are questioning your advice to understand the context. It’s much easier for you to pay for all these dates where you live, than it is for some guys living in wealthier countries like the US or UK, where many women are not poor and have cars and money for taxis and vacations and things are more expensive.

Really, you have to factor in the location, dating culture, and gender dynamics. Manila or Bangkok or whatever you live and date is not Maimi or LA or Montreal or London or the mid west USA. Places like that are different and dating there is different in some ways.

Women in the West can afford to pay for some dates and should not feel entitled to a man’s money.

WTF? Manila and Bangkok. That's not even dating. That's straight up prostitution. Not to mention all of the ladyboys. Gay sex doesn't count.

Someone who dumpster dives can't give a review on 5 star restaurants.

What is up with this forum? Guys claiming they sleep with super-models, others say they have harems. Turns out they're dating crackheads and ladyboys.

 

[AJ84]

WTF? Manila and Bangkok. That's not even dating. That's straight up prostitution. Not to mention all of the ladyboys. Gay sex doesn't count.

Someone who dumpster dives can't give a review on 5 star restaurants.

What is up with this forum? Guys claiming they sleep with super-models, others say they have harems. Turns out they're dating crackheads and ladyboys.

I don’t think he’s dumpster diving. He’s just in a different dating market than people in Western cultures.

Women’s dating and relationship behaviours are not universal. That’s why that Roosh guy wrote books on how to bang women from different countries and why men talk about meeting women from places like Thailand and Eastern Europe, because it’s different (some say easier to get women despite age and looks).
Even within countries there are differences, I mean there’s a thread where there’s a discussion around NYC women and women from small town America.

Location and dating culture matters. What works in the Ukraine may not work in Chicago. Some things are similar but it’s not a one size fits all.

 

[steelpulse]

Of course location matters. And in third world countries all that matters is cash, because the natives don't have any of it. So a middle class guy or even a guy on a McDonald's salary from the first world on two weeks vacation with a few hundred saved up can live like a king in the third world.

An expat who was and is a loser incel anywhere in the 1st world can become a sex god in the third world just because he has so much more money than the locals.

This has nothing to do with attractiveness or game, it's just prostitution. Old, fat guys and cellar dwelling nerds and trolls can get laid in the third world.

 

[guru1000]

Tell you what @RickTheToad, next time you have a meetup in NYC, PM me. If the time works, I’ll come and show you how I operate.

You just need to be surrounded by positive, carefree, out-to-have-a-good-time energy and you’ll see a shift in your exchanges.

 

[Ranger]

WTF? Manila and Bangkok. That's not even dating. That's straight up prostitution. Not to mention all of the ladyboys. Gay sex doesn't count.

Someone who dumpster dives can't give a review on 5 star restaurants.

What is up with this forum? Guys claiming they sleep with super-models, others say they have harems. Turns out they're dating crackheads and ladyboys.

There’s a caste in those places. Only really poor women are in the sex trade. I slept with bank tellers, store clerks, at least one tour guide etc.
only horny beta guys end in the Phat Pong district of Bankock.
There’s a lot you have no idea about in those places. The high end women won’t even acknowledge your existence.

 

[steelpulse]

There’s a caste in those places. Only really poor women are in the sex trade. I slept with bank tellers, store clerks, at least one tour guide etc.
only hornet guys end in the Phat Pong district of Bankock.
There’s a lot you have no idea about in those places.

I'm not saying it's explicitly prostitution but it's more like "girlfriend experience" prostitution.

What's a hornet guy? You mean horny guy? If they're dumb enough to wind up in a ladyboy district that's their problem. And ask yourself: why are ladyboys so common in Thailand and the Philippines? Because those fvckers are desperate for money. They know who the suckers are. A white guy with a pot belly, receding hairline, 55+ years old, what's he there for? The great hiking? He's there to get laid. The locals don't have money. They'll sucker you in for money. Even if it's just a free meal and a night in a nice hotel.

I have no interest in Bangkok or manila quite frankly. I love Thai food and definitely want to try some flip food but I'm not traveling thousands of miles for an ethnic meal.

AJ and Trump are outing half the forum for sure.

 

[Ranger]

I'm not saying it's explicitly prostitution but it's more like "girlfriend experience" prostitution.

What's a hornet guy? You mean horny guy? If they're dumb enough to wind up in a ladyboy district that's their problem. And ask yourself: why are ladyboys so common in Thailand and the Philippines? Because those fvckers are desperate for money. They know who the suckers are. A white guy with a pot belly, receding hairline, 55+ years old, what's he there for? The great hiking? He's there to get laid. The locals don't have money. They'll sucker you in for money. Even if it's just a free meal and a night in a nice hotel.

I have no interest in Bangkok or manila quite frankly. I love Thai food and definitely want to try some flip food but I'm not traveling thousands of miles for an ethnic meal.

AJ and Trump are outing half the forum for sure.

Why is that the only thing people hear about? Lol
They have fewer poor than we do.

 

[RickTheToad]

Why does it cost $100 to get into Manhattan? Bridgeport to Manhattan is 120 miles round trip, $30 gas? $20-$30 one day parking?

Round trip on the MTA is around 65 bucks. Then a taxi or Uber to the Financial district is another 20 bucks. A few drinks, another 25 - 30 bucks. Driving in is 1.5 hrs. $40 bucks to park, 15 bucks for toll, 20 bucks for fuel, same amount of money for drinks.

Tell you what @RickTheToad, next time you have a meetup in NYC, PM me. If the time works, I’ll come and show you how I operate.

You just need to be surrounded by positive, carefree, out-to-have-a-good-time energy and you’ll see a shift in your exchanges.

Great, so I have to compete against you too? ;'p

I feel like I'm coming from the same perspective as Rick does... I'm trying to understand what you're explaining, Spaz...but it just doesn't make sense to me.

1. You're talking about the situation where you invite her out for a vacation. Well sure, if you invite her then it's logical that you pay for her. But what about the situation where a guy and a woman simply decide to go on a vacation together? Not him inviting her...but him and her mutually deciding to go on a vacation?

2. You talk about being too lazy to fetch her and paying for her Uber instead. This presupposes that it's your responsibility to somehow transport her to your home, either by fetching her or by paying for her Uber. But what about the option of her driving to your home in her own damn car and paying for her own damn gas??? Why do you presuppose that it's the man's responsibility to facilitate her means of getting to your home? I mean regardless of whether you can easily afford it or not, why would you be responsible for her transport? Please explain this?

After you've explained that matter separately, let's factor in the relative cost for the guy to facilitate her transport. I get what you say, paying doesn't neccesarily make you a chump, you may see it rewarded by a genuine smile, her opening her heart and other things, as you mentioned. But you ignore the fact that you earn a lot more than Rick (or myself) and therefor it's easy for you to do this. I mean, it's easy for Bill Gates to pay lots of money to charity, to research for the cure of cancer or whatever, and he gets a lot of recognition for it, he is rewarded by other people's admiration etc. But he HAS the money to do that. What if you don't have it? What then? What if the cost of paying for her Uber is pretty high relative to your salary?

What I'm saying is, you're just trying to change Rick's mindset about whether he should or shouldn't pay for all kinds of stuff while dating a woman. But the issue isn't that one-dimensional, it's not just about his mindset........you have to factor in the question of whether he does or doesn't have a lot of money to spend....
You say he should change his mindset from "She's using me and it pisses me off" to "I'm being generous to her and this makes me feel good" But you forget that it's easy to be generous when you have lots of money, it's not so easy to be generous when you have less money to spend, therefor it's not so easy to adopt the suggested mindset in that case.

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn't care about a woman expecting me to pay for everything. Big deal, it wouldn't make a dent in my bank account, so I wouldn't even bother myself with that particular thought "she's using me!" I'd simply enjoy fvcking her after I paid for everything
But if I could barely pay my rent and a woman expected me to pay for everything, you bet I'd be pissed off at her attitude and I'd be preoccupied by that particular thought "she's using me!". It's only natural, right?

So I guess instead of advicing Rick to change his mindset, it would be better to advice him to improve his income haha. Coz as long as that doesn't happen, I don't think he (or anyone) can adopt the change of mindset you're suggesting.

Similar thought process. Though, I'm not poor, middle class / working class. I have my pride. lol

 

[steelpulse]

Why is that the only thing people hear about? Lol
They have fewer poor than we do.

You are really in denial. Thailand and the Philippines are dirt poor. They're after your wallet. If it means giving up a lay many women, and even some men are willing to do it. But you go ahead and tell yourself whatever fairy tales you want to.

 

[Ranger]

You are really in denial. Thailand and the Philippines are dirt poor. They're after your wallet. If it means giving up a lay many women, and even some men are willing to do it. But you go ahead and tell yourself whatever fairy tales you want to.

I’ve been there many times. Lol
Poor is relative. When a hanfull of baht is a fortune, it won’t buy you a mid class woman.

 

[RickTheToad]

I’ve been there many times. Lol
Poor is relative. When a hanfull of baht is a fortune, it won’t buy you a mid class woman.

Tell that to the loser dude on 90 Day Fiancee

 

[Ranger]

So when a high end guy walks into a club, Porsche Amani suit, brooks brothers penny loafers...women don’t rent themselves out. Hmmmm
Who has slvts?