Proceeding after two good dates (both w/sex) and avoiding One-itis

BJP1991

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What's up everybody,

Have seen this new girl once each weekend for the last two weekends.

First date, we had drinks at a few bars near her place, then we went back to her's and had sex and I ended up staying the night (she insisted, I was fine with it as it was like 330am). I left in the morning and she gave me the same, passionate (tongue in my mouth) kiss she was giving me all the night before. A couple of days passed and I initiated contact and setup the second date, which just happened the other night at my place. The original plan was dinner at my place, then head out to a bar near my apartment, but needless to say, clothes came off and we never left my apartment after dinner. We hooked up at least 3 times in the evening, she slept over (slept naked - didn't do that the first time), and we hooked up a final time in the morning. I made her a cup of coffee, which we chatted over for 20ish mins before she left. At the door, she kissed me again, but this time gave me a really strong hug, for like 3 seconds, after the kiss...not sure if this is meaningful of deeper emotions she might have or what the case is (to me, it doesn't really matter what it means/I don't care/it won't change my perspective).

All in all, I am pretty content with my dating life currently (not sure if I want a LTR with this girl or ANY girl at the moment); however I turn to you for recommendations on just HOW to proceed after 2 successful dates that both resulted in hooking up. Typically, I just try to see a girl who I am really attracted to only once per week early-on. One key reason I prefer this method with girls I have hooked up with is that I have found that despite having many passions (sports I am in leagues for, lifting weights, etc), I am sometimes susceptible to one-itis if I really dig the girl. For example, last night I removed the pillowcase she slept on and put it in my laundry hamper, since it still smells strongly of her hair/perfume (which I would probably indulge myself into if I had not removed it). I am trying my best to see other women as well and am staying very busy with work, friends, activities, hobbies, etc. Basically, I want to just continue seeing her about once per week until she initiates to make things happen more regularly.

Is it right to just stay the course, and proceed to setup a third date in a few days (i.e. wednesday evening reach out to her)? Partly I would like to see her initiate contact - last week after I arranged the second date, she texted me a few days later just to see how my week was going and make mindless text chitchat (which, typically, I am not a fan of, but understand some women like this to build some trust/rapport - I never let it go past 4-7 messages to avoid wasting time texting and potentially lowering her interest).

For you DJs, how do you proceed with things after two successful dates? Granted, the second time was just me making dinner and watching a movie while we had sex all night, but I count it anyways. What sort of events/activities would you recommend for a third date at this point? And is reaching out maybe 3-4 days after this second date reasonable?
 

BJP1991

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Raise your standards. No onitis with a woman that fvcked you on first date!
I know, I know. I’ve got two other second dates this week with girls I’m an 8-9/10 confidence level I can lay on those dates, so I’ll be distracted enough.

Was thinking about just hitting her up later tomorrow to see how the weeks been and maybe line something up for the weekend
 

backseatjuan

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I watch AMS from time to time, just typing AMS on youtube opens you a view out of window with a scenery so wonderful. Often times the amount and speed of communication vs proper dosing of attention on her means everything. I'm too getting afc on this one chick and I haven't met her yet, just got her number out of OLD, we just have too much sh1t in common, and I have this warm fuzzy feeling. I'm waiting, I'm not gonna hit her up until later this evening. I want her in love with me. God forbid she comes over to my place on first date and we have sex. I am going to be highly disappointed in her.
 

BJP1991

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I watch AMS from time to time, just typing AMS on youtube opens you a view out of window with a scenery so wonderful. Often times the amount and speed of communication vs proper dosing of attention on her means everything. I'm too getting afc on this one chick and I haven't met her yet, just got her number out of OLD, we just have too much sh1t in common, and I have this warm fuzzy feeling. I'm waiting, I'm not gonna hit her up until later this evening. I want her in love with me. God forbid she comes over to my place on first date and we have sex. I am going to be highly disappointed in her.
Dang, yeah i hear ya bro. Every now and then one comes along that makes all the difference. Stay the course, let the "cake" bake in the oven (no peeking), and report back after this evening when you hit her up.
 

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GrowingPains

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Speaking of AMS, he suggested only seeing a woman at most 2 weeks in a row. Let's you show her that your have other things going in your life and she isn't your only option. And perhaps will remind you further that she's not your only option either, hence avoiding oneitus.
 

marmel75

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Raise your standards. No onitis with a woman that fvcked you on first date!
Pretty much every woman has fvcked someone on a first date/at a party/etc...

This is not really meaningful, imo.
 

BJP1991

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Pretty much every woman has fvcked someone on a first date/at a party/etc...

This is not really meaningful, imo.
Agreed - I don't spend any time thinking about this, really.
 

oldmanofthesea

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You are doing well and it's great that you recognize your tendency to get one-itis.

Keep it to once a week. Your text game sounds perfect to me. Aside from all that, the best way to avoid one-itis is to keep dating other women and don't stop searching for new women while you are seeing this one. Having more options makes it harder to get stuck on one.
 

backseatjuan

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Yea, I got the date for Saturday with this chick. Then there is a flake from last week she wanted a date today but she told me she'd have to go after 8pm, I said then some other time when she is more available. She suggested tomorrow, I told her tomorrow sounds fine, I'll let her know. But I'm not gonna message her tomorrow at all, day after tomorrow. If I had to add +1 for each positive point with a girl, she'd be -2 by now, first the flake, then her stupid ass conversation with me. This calls for anal and a2m on first date with happy ending into her stupid mouth.
 

GrowingPains

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Yea, I got the date for Saturday with this chick. Then there is a flake from last week she wanted a date today but she told me she'd have to go after 8pm, I said then some other time when she is more available. She suggested tomorrow, I told her tomorrow sounds fine, I'll let her know. But I'm not gonna message her tomorrow at all, day after tomorrow. If I had to add +1 for each positive point with a girl, she'd be -2 by now, first the flake, then her stupid ass conversation with me. This calls for anal and a2m on first date with happy ending into her stupid mouth.
Geeeeeeze lmao.
 

BJP1991

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You are doing well and it's great that you recognize your tendency to get one-itis.

Keep it to once a week. Your text game sounds perfect to me. Aside from all that, the best way to avoid one-itis is to keep dating other women and don't stop searching for new women while you are seeing this one. Having more options makes it harder to get stuck on one.
Thanks for your response!
 

Murk

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I get this too, my problem is I quickly fall into seeing girls often, they catch major feels, I retreat, they hate me, I feel like sh1t, another shiny thing comes along, rinse repeat

Once a week is too much.

I’m caught in a situation with a girl I live with and two other chicks all whom I’ve banged this year. So hard to find the time with it all and these plates are too close to home to avoid bumping into each other and crashing

I need to destroy and build, new girls for 2019 and finding a quality women
 

BJP1991

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I get this too, my problem is I quickly fall into seeing girls often, they catch major feels, I retreat, they hate me, I feel like sh1t, another shiny thing comes along, rinse repeat

Once a week is too much.

I’m caught in a situation with a girl I live with and two other chicks all whom I’ve banged this year. So hard to find the time with it all and these plates are too close to home to avoid bumping into each other and crashing

I need to destroy and build, new girls for 2019 and finding a quality women

I don't feel like once a week is too much, to me it feels like the perfect amount (for now). We will see how it pans out I guess - other plates are spinning as well
 
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