Been seeing a waitress at a bar that I hang out at. Everytime I go there with female friends or very lightly flirt with any girls, she cuts me off. She doesn't answer my calls or emails. Without having to explain that these chicks are just friends, what can I do? Another thing is that she hangs with my friends who she met through me and call them on a regular basis, so it's irritating me. What can I do?
Problem
- Thread starter crack_her
- Start date
WC2
Master Don Juan
Think about it. It's cool to play jealousy once, but doing it over and over again just is a turn off. Even if these girls are your friends, women aren't exactly turned on by guys who go out to lunch all the time with their girl "friends".
Dude, I wasn't playing the jealousy "thing" at all. I know them so there's friendly banter but that's as far as it goes. But I'll take ur word for it and tone it down a bit. As for the ones that come with me, they did so long before she even started working there and I introduced them as so. The trouble is I think she's about fed up with me already. What now?WC2 said:
white cloud 8
Senior Don Juan
Introducing your female friends (at the beginning) would have been a grand idea but, it looks like from the perspective of the waitress you are seeing, she is getting the wrong impression, and, that is your fault. Always think ahead before doing things.crack_her said:
She's working and it's sometimes difficult to flag her down for an introduction. Sometimes I go there and hardly get to even talk to her, understand? Just can't do it ALL the time - she should just trust me. Don't you think?white cloud 8 said:
amoka
Master Don Juan
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1st problem: You try meet her on regularly basis at the place you first met her.crack_her said:
2nd problem: You continuously visit her workplace, maybe not because of her but for other purposes but she's tired of seeing you. How do you expect her to miss seeing you when you're regularly at her sight?
I was there 1st as far as I'm concerned and we only go there twice a week. It's not like she doesn't have time to miss me. I'm good friends with the owner and she knows I go there to sing karaoke. I sing really well so I get lots of attention from chicks. Singing is like therapy for me. It makes me feel good that I challenged myself and nailed a difficult song and makes me feel even better that the people who go there enjoy listening.amoka said:
The problem is when she gets jealous, she freezes me out. I guess that's my problem now though huh.
Everyone's giving advice on what I did wrong. That's good but what I really want to know is how do I fix things without coming across as begging? Also, she has male friends who come and see her regularly, I don't even bat an eyelash.
Damage control part 1: By sub-communicating there's nothing going on there. Easiest way is to drop in a story about a couple of the girls you've been in the bar with about them and their boyfriends - even if they don't have any. (NOT about how bad their relationship - NOT about how great they are either) Story has to be simple and factual, not emotive. (so as to sub-communicate that you have no real emotional investment in these chicks) Probably something along the lines of "My mate Debbie - you may know her I came in with her the other day, anyway she and her man went to blah blah and did blah blah. I thought to myself that would be cool to do - You and I should go... Then put the high beam smile on and hit the emotional buttons... yeah imagine WE could blah blah"
Damage control part 2: Don't hang out with chicks at her bar unless you want her to get jealous. Alternatively, introduce her to the circle, that way she can "keep her friends close but her enemies closer."
And don't forget - a little jealousy can be a good thing... It'll make sure she knows you're in high demand and appreciate you that little bit more... just don't overdo it especially if she's a girl who can't handle it.
Damage control part 2: Don't hang out with chicks at her bar unless you want her to get jealous. Alternatively, introduce her to the circle, that way she can "keep her friends close but her enemies closer."
And don't forget - a little jealousy can be a good thing... It'll make sure she knows you're in high demand and appreciate you that little bit more... just don't overdo it especially if she's a girl who can't handle it.
The best advice I've heard so far. I'll take it easy as I go this Sunday. She'll probably ignore me but I'll just act as if this freeze out isn't even taking place (called once, messaged once, no response). I think I don't intend to make her jealous but she gets there on her own since I get so much attention and know so much people. She is sensitive, maybe too much so. I'm not expecting any response from her for at least another week or so. In the meantime, I'll behave.Un-Aru said:
