Problem with my g/f..

[RandomGuy22]

Hi, i've posted a couple times one a success story and the other a cry for help. You guys are great so i figured why not turn to the readers once again for some advice, and perhaps a little bit of cheering up.

Ok.. i don't know how to word this.. but me and my g/f have our 1 month anniversary tomorrow (tuesday) and yesterday while on aim i said something like "yeah don't make plans for tuesday " and she asked "why.." and i just said "it's a surprise" and she said "oh... ok..." exactly like that. Does she not care? If she doesn't should i not?

Also, it seems like i'm always the one making plans. She has asked me to do something with her one time in our entire month of going out.. and it seems like i'm always having ot be the one to Call her to set things up.. SHe is good however online, b/c she allways IM's me first. so i'm perplexed.. i don't want to NEXT her but i don't want to continue to be the only one doing stuff?

Also.... lastly what would be something creative and innovative for us to do tomorrow for a date on our one month. Not necesssarily expensive but something fun that we could have a great time doing?

 

[Porky]

I suggest you go get drunk. Anything to stop you from THINKING so much.

 

[Gold Heart]

Something you will have fun doing: going over to one another's houses.

Is she the outgoing type? And if she is, is she quiet around you?

Is she quiet? If she is, is she outgoing around you?

Reply back, and tell me what kind of person she is. All I basically know from your post is that you are making most of the plans. Sometimes, there are just girls who don't like to make plans. When you make plans and carry them out is she fun to be with during the date? Has she ever flaked?

From your post, it seems like she doesn't have much interest level. But specify more on what the situation is.

 

[RandomGuy22]

well she is semi - outgoing. SHe has many friends and well

ok to be honest when we're together it's like she showers me w/ attentin and kino.

LIke she's always doing tickle fights or rubbing my hair and holding my hands and stuff. And the otehr day i was like yeah i've gotta go, and before i could say anything she said "what no hug or kiss?"

 

[CoreD11]

I like Porky's idea, just party once, get fuked up, get it outta your system, then approach the problem

 

[abcd_z]

You may be losing her, and you don't even realise it. If you really want to keep her, back off. Learn to give her space, and give her time to miss you. You said that she wants to do stuff, but that you're the one who's always making plans. If the relationship between the two of you is that important to her, she'll find ways to help get things going. It sounds like she's a 20/80 taker. That means that she only puts out about 20% of the effort for the relationship. Not good. You want them to be chasing you, not the other way around.

Also, one month anniversary? Sorry dude, but that's kind of lame. A six month anniversary I could maybe understand. A one year is a definite possibility. But one month? Pfft.

Another thing is, don't put too much stock in online conversations, and quit worrying about the things so much. So what if she sends the first IM? It doesn't mean a thing. Get over it, wake up and smell the coffee.

If you really want to keep her, give her some space. If not, you'll find her pulling away (if it's not too late), and before you know it, you'll be hit with one of the dreaded dumping lines. "It's not you, it's me", "I don't have the time for a commitment,", or even the dreaded "let's just be friends".

Good luck.

 

[RandomGuy22]

abcd i think that's some of the greatest advice i've heard ina while. I was thinking that to myself, and i think you saying it brings it home. Thx again.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

maybe she just likes the way you handle stuff. or she's just the type who'd like to have people do things for her.

a follower? may be.

but maybe just lacks initiative. except for IMs.

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

"yeah don't make plans for tuesday " and she asked "why.." and i just said "it's a surprise" and she said "oh... ok..." exactly like that. Does she not care? If she doesn't should i not?

All I heard from that was, "does this dress me look fat, well does it?"

You got the same problem I had, I over analyzed every lil thing a girl would do. Its not good for you so stop now.

Second....girls want you to lead most of the time. It's kinda like ball room dancing...always gotta lead. (read that in David D's book)

I'm not sayin she should never ask for a date, but if she doesn't really put any effort on the date or seem like shes having fun. Then you should next her.

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

I completely agree. Girls are not like guys, most of us need to start realising that. They can become flaky and you can almost never figure them out. Good news is that when they are actually normal and do not play games with you, they can make great friends or even potential girlfriends. Luckily we have this gem of a site to help us on our path