Problem with girlfriend and her facebook

[JimmyBizzle]

Also remember that the guy who is never cheated on is the guy who is never paranoid about being cheated on, and handles his life and relationship with confidence.

Dude that is awesome.

 

[zinc4]

Bunch of insecure pussies in this thread..no wonder the majority of posters are getting cheated on.

 

[Boscus]

We've been together nearly 2 months and everything is fine and get on great except one small thing .

We when started going out she said she would rather not display our relationship on Facebook as. She didn't want anyone interfering n sh1t like that. I thought about it and agreed.

Well today I went through her photos and found some of her Ex still there ( haven't confronted her about this, don't know if I should) surely they should be gone no? I also remember her going through her phone and looking at photos with me then bam but into photos of her ex yet again and said ' I really need to delete some photos on here' but dunno of she did .

I also know she has a ton of guys facebook messaging her daily and she asked if it bothered me and I told her no. Surely the sensible thing her to do what be to put 'in a relationship with me' to stop these pricks messaging her constant. Or to just delete the whole god dam facebook.

Like I say I haven't mentioned anything yet but do I sound reasonable or am I overreacting ? Is just because off all the small things that add up n begin to make up stories in my head.

Wow....just wow!

You are being such a p*ssy and AFC!
you're going out with this girl for two months and you think you ''own'' her, hahah oh God, I'm not trying to be mean to you, but man you've a lot of inner issues. Guys never cease to amaze me!

Ask yourself this question:

Why does this bother me so much?

and really think about it....

Secondly, who gives a fvck if she has pictures of ex on FB, personally I am not on that stupid website, but omg, she holds all the power now, because of the way you are behaving. Stop you're over attachment!

Take a deep breath, realise when you act like this, and that lame ass sh!t annoys you, realise you have an iner issue to deal with, it's not about her, it's not about her attention wh**ring on facebook, it's you dude!!

Don't get too emotional over my post, but realise something, how the hell does this guy ''Boscus'' know this sh!t, how? the long and hard way!

Don't make same mistakes I made, ( thing is you probably won't listen to this advice) because you, like most guys, actually like problems in life

PEACE

 

[Boscus]

He should care if she is having sex with other men behind his back. You have a warped a sense of what a relationship is supposed to be.

No he shouldn't, he doesnt fvcking own her!

He should be living a life of abundance, stop worrying about other people!!

 

[zinc4]

Wow....just wow!

You are being such a p*ssy and AFC!
you're going out with this girl for two months and you think you ''own'' her, hahah oh God, I'm not trying to be mean to you, but man you've a lot of inner issues. Guys never cease to amaze me!

Ask yourself this question:

Why does this bother me so much?

and really think about it....

Secondly, who gives a fvck if she has pictures of ex on FB, personally I am not on that stupid website, but omg, she holds all the power now, because of the way you are behaving. Stop you're over attachment!

Take a deep breath, realise when you act like this, and that lame ass sh!t annoys you, realise you have an iner issue to deal with, it's not about her, it's not about her attention wh**ring on facebook, it's you dude!!

Don't get too emotional over my post, but realise something, how the hell does this guy ''Boscus'' know this sh!t, how? the long and hard way!

Don't make same mistakes I made, ( thing is you probably won't listen to this advice) because you, like most guys, actually like problems in life

PEACE

Glad to see at least one other person has a set a balls on here...too many AFC pussies on this site giving bs advice.

 

[cordoncordon]

Bunch of insecure pussies in this thread..no wonder the majority of posters are getting cheated on.

Glad to see at least one other person has a set a balls on here...too many AFC pussies on this site giving bs advice.

You are a prime example of why this site has gone downhill over the years. Instead of offering help and/or constructive criticism to the OP, the only thing you offer is vulgar criticisms and name calling.

Your age and lack of maturity shining through as usual.

 

[Boscus]

You are a prime example of why this site has gone downhill over the years. Instead of offering help and/or constructive criticism to the OP, the only thing you offer is vulgar criticisms and name calling.

Your age and lack of maturity shining through as usual.

He did give advice, and the solid advice,

Stop being a whiney AFC, and caring about what one girl is doing...

If you and others choose to ignore this advice....so be it...

But it shall be written in stone,

''Bachelor men know more about women than married men, if they didn't they'd be married too.''

Understand that, all and any attachment will eventually lead to pain, also people have the right to be with whomever they choose, so this ''ownership'' and ''possessive needy'' behaviour has to stop if guys ever want to get good with women.

If you read the DJ bible, it doesn't say,

Don't spin plates
Don't live a life of abundance
Don't be confident

etc, it doesn't so why are guys on this thread encouraging the OP, nd validating him as an AFC, it's tough love, but it's logic and rational; it's the real world.

 

[cordoncordon]

2 months. Anything can happen in 2 months. I know a couple that have been married for over 10 years....and the guy proposed after only a month of first meeting her!

Not every relationship is the same....it's not all black and white, that's what many here fail to understand.

Most of my serious relationships got serious very fast. A lot of the time that's how it happens. It's not about spinning 10 plates then one day deciding you want a relationship so you're going to pick your best plate. Once you find one you want to get serious with, then get serious with her. It doesn't mean you can just hack up the red pill and gulp down a bunch of blue pills. Hopefully you'll hang on to your manhood.... But sh1t dude, most guys with something to offer more than game don't have to game a girl for a year in order for her to want to get serious with him. The game is to get past that little shield she has up, to find out who she really is. Once you make that connection, and you both feel that strong attraction, and both are ready for a relationship, who gives a fvck how long it's been.

You pretty much nailed it. You cannot go by a paint by numbers book when it comes to relationships. Some are super successful after falling for each other in a month or two, some after many months or even years of knowing each other. I have found that most relationships don't work long term when they move really quickly, but it does happen. Happened in my case and we have been together over 3 years. When you find the right person, you find the right person and you will know it. I don't recommend that though. So many guys on here, especially newbies who have had bad luck with women in the past, start reading the material on this site and go from being extreme afc to extreme "I am the king of all pvssy and women better not fawk with me" in a matter of a week. But it's all an act. Later on many find a happy medium, but I see this pattern time and time again. They come here and get so fixated and set on being a dating bad azz that they are almost like robots, not really feeling what they are saying or doing. They just do it because So Suave tells them to.

In this case OP, it's all a matter of context. How deep does your relationship go at this point? It has only been two months, but in these two months have you been seeing each other a lot? Have you had discussions about what and what is not acceptable? Or is this way of thinking (how deep and important the relationship is) only going on in your head and on your side? Odds are that yes, she is keeping the relationship off of FB because she is hiding it from her ex who she still has feelings for. That is really the only logical explanation as women for the most part absolutely love telling the world how happy they are and in love when they find someone new.

So in this case, I would tread very carefully. There are still some feels in her heart for her ex, and as a result, she may never be able to fully commit to you. I would not confront her about the FB status. I would just pull back, and start looking at other options while you sit back and evaluate her actions after you start doing going distant.


Good luck.

 

[Boscus]

You guys still believe in the myth of monogamy? ohhhhh godddd.....

I bet you still believe in the fairytales. and the ''one'' bahhahahaha

Go read some posts on here about how guys and girls got screwed over by one each other because they thought they had found ''true love''

hahaha oh god.....

The funny thing id, you KNOW i'm right, and yet you operate with a cloud of emotions!

 

[zinc4]

White knight concordon rises to give more womanly advice...

 

[cordoncordon]

White knight concordon rises to give more womanly advice...

Gay boy Zinc's cawk rises to penetrate more lady boyz in The Land of the Rising Sun.

 

[zinc4]

Gay boy Zinc's cawk rises to penetrate more lady boyz in The Land of the Rising Sun.

lame attempt at slander...just like you lame

 

[49au]

I know men who are afraid to impose firm but reasonable boundaries on their women with regard to how sexually they can behave.

I have zero respect for these "men." They are an embarrassment, and their women would gladly fuk me because they love that I value myself enough that when a woman is with me, she won't act like a hor. I've seen it in their eyes.

I'm not talking about the OP's specific situation, I'm talking about relationships in general.

Monogamy may not be "natural", but neither is dressing up in a suit and tie and going to meetings every day. If you are in an arrangement or serious relationship with a woman, she has an obligation to keep herself in check in respect to your authority, and the resources you're giving her.

It is difficult for men who can't provide significant value (especially financial) to a woman to understand this concept. If you're literally nothing more to her than a hard d!ck when she wants one, then of course you're replaceable, and of course she'll fuk around. You have nothing special.

But if you are a high value male (high income, status, abilities, ambitions, etc.) then you absolutely do not accept that type of disregard. She is lucky to be with you and she knows it (edit: better know it)

NO, not every woman is going to fall in line with that frame. Some will cheat and you just have to dump them. But there are women who won't cheat.

Demand better for yourself.

 

[Boscus]

I know men who are afraid to impose firm but reasonable boundaries on their women with regard to how sexually they can behave.

I have zero respect for these "men." They are an embarrassment, and their women would gladly fuk me because they love that I value myself enough that when a woman is with me, she won't act like a hor. I've seen it in their eyes.

I'm not talking about the OP's specific situation, I'm talking about relationships in general.

Monogamy may not be "natural", but neither is dressing up in a suit and tie and going to meetings every day. If you are in an arrangement or serious relationship with a woman, she has an obligation to keep herself in check in respect to your authority, and the resources you're giving her.

It is difficult for men who can't provide significant value (especially financial) to a woman to understand this concept. If you're literally nothing more to her than a hard d!ck when she wants one, then of course you're replaceable, and of course she'll fuk around. You have nothing special.

But if you are a high value male (high income, status, abilities, ambitions, etc.) then you absolutely do not accept that type of disregard. She is lucky to be with you and she knows it (edit: better know it)

NO, not every woman is going to fall in line with that frame. Some will cheat and you just have to dump them. But there are women who won't cheat.

Demand better for yourself.

That is the biggest load of Madonna/wh0re complex I have ever witnessed!

You need to get your head straight, it ISNT the 50s anymore, we aint living in INDIA , women cheat, women do what ever they want in this day and age....ACCEPT IT....

Stop being so needy.

It's hilarious how you provide women with money and things like that, and think somehow you ''own'' them and that you are doing something for them, so they must stay with you!! ridiculous assumption, and proves you know very little about women....

And if you are truly a high value male, you wouldn't give two sh!ts about ''your'' woman and her sexual escapades, because you're too busy with your own.

Dude, the sooner you realise the truth the better, stop living in disneyland....

 

[TheException]

49au, my response is not personal. Nothing directly at you, but your going to serve as my pawn to distinguish the two schools of thought on this topic. Biased of course but only because im correct

I know men who are afraid to impose firm but reasonable boundaries on their women with regard to how sexually they can behave.

Afraid? Its quite the opposite. We are NOT AFRAID of them cheating. We laugh at the very idea of women cheating on us for another guy. Its is guy's who try to control their women who are afraid that if they dont...the woman would cheat.

I have zero respect for these "men." They are an embarrassment, and their women would gladly fuk me because they love that I value myself

You value yourself but not the woman. You have a false sense of entitlement. You play up the false bravado bit as a way to mask your insecurity. You think your being "dominant" or "respecting yourself" is showing you as the higher value mate...whereas in reality its lowering your value since the emphasis in your relationships is what the girl can and cant do.

If you are in an arrangement or serious relationship with a woman, she has an obligation to keep herself in check in respect to your authority, and the resources you're giving her.

Keep herself in check? I agree. However i bet we disagree on what constitutes "in check". I would say cheating or blatant disrespect and you would say her saying "hi" to another guy.(an obvious drastic correlation but you get the point)

If you're literally nothing more to her than a hard d!ck when she wants one, then of course you're replaceable, and of course she'll fuk around. You have nothing special.

Truth

But if you are a high value male (high income, status, abilities, ambitions, etc.) then you absolutely do not accept that type of disregard. She is lucky to be with you and she knows it (edit: better know it)

Now look at the previous bold compared to this one. Complete contradiction. If your a high value male, then your more than a hard d1ck. She knows it, and she knows she is lucky. She will not cheat BECAUSE YOUR HIGH VALUE NOT BECAUSE YOU TELL HER SHE CANT TALK TO OTHER GUYS. If shes lucky to be with you, why would you have to keep an eye on her to make sure she stays "in check".

NO, not every woman is going to fall in line with that frame. Some will cheat and you just have to dump them. But there are women who won't cheat.

Surprise surprise. Sounds like its happened to you before. Its not about what actions "you deem allowable by her", but rather how your screen her(screen out hors) and the frame the relationship is set. If her attraction is high and she cares more about the relationship than you....then she will not cheat. Not artificial boundaries needed.

 

[49au]

Boscus,

I do hold the "madonna/hor" view and I make no apologies for it. It's instinctual. It's biological. I don't want some other man busting in a woman that I'm with in a serious context. The "label" doesn't matter. If she's a woman that I either want to or am still considering the possibility of having children with, or continuing to have unprotected sex with, I do not want another guy possibly getting her pregnant or introducing disease.

"I don't expect a woman to be monogamous" actually means "I don't expect a woman to be monogamous with me, because I'm not good enough to make her feel the tradeoff is worth it or get her interest level that high."

It's a defense mechanism. You are too terrified of your own ability to keep a woman that you are afraid to impose any rules at all, so she would in theory never leave you and damage your fragile ego. So you put up a front that you are somehow immune to the rules of evolutionary psychology.

Many guys on this forum who advise "always spinning plates" are exhibiting traits of BPD - the excessive and continuous need for validation. I dumped a hor a few weeks ago, and haven't fuked anyone since. Haven't tried, haven't really given a sh!t. I'm not so emotionally empty that I can't focus on other areas of my life for a while, and better myself for a few weeks or even months, before I go hunting again. I'm about quality, not quantity these days. I don't need these women, they need me. And they better behave that way or they're gone. (Nothing against spinning plates, I go through these phases too - but there is something wrong if you have to do that 100% of the time. You need something outside of women as your core.)

The other reason I disagree with your feminist/enlightened view of female sexuality, is the simple fact that some women hold the M/W complex deeply. They get it from church sometimes, their family, conservative community, whatever. So they preserve themselves. They don't fuk 50 guys, drink 5x a week, take on debt and a high pressure career, etc. They wait for a high value man to come along and get them for the purpose of LTRs, marriage, kids. I'm at the stage now where I'd like to find one of them to give me some children. So if you don't want that, I understand. But the point is that there are women out there who are perfectly willing to submit and not cheat, who have a little more "honor" than your typical urban hor. So why should I accept a woman who will cheat no matter what I do, when I can have an equally hot woman who won't as long as I'm providing high value?


TheException,

Understood!

I also agree that a normal woman will refrain from cheating if (in cost/benefit analysis) she determines that you are the highest value male she can get at the time. This is the great equalizer, our answer to hypergamy, because her beauty will rapidly decline. So if we are likely the highest value male she can reasonably expect to obtain (for long term commitment, not just ONS) at her present beauty, it's not likely she could ever do better. She may be attracted to other men, but she knows it could be too great a risk to try to secure a relationship with one of them, because if she loses her current man and the "new" one fails, she could be a few years older and a lot less attractive. That's why sane women marry younger, I believe.

However, there are women with personality disorders. I've dated a textbook BPD waif, a girl I highly suspect is HPD, etc. Women like this are often so broken that they don't think like their more sane counterparts. They literally cannot control their need for degradation, stormy relationships, triangulation, seeking validation from other men, etc.

This is the type of girl I'm talking about dismissing. The type that will cheat even if you are high value and do have good boundaries and game. They don't always submit to that the way normal women do.

But YES - a woman's loyalty is born organically. She must sense that you are confident, high value, and have options. That inspires it. But, you also have to give them standards and boundaries. Children love their parents and want to please them, but they also have to be instructed on how to do so. Same thing with a woman, whom we must often train (to be good submissive partners) because their parents or friends have done such a bad job in our feminized society.

 

[Boscus]

Boscus,

I do hold the "madonna/hor" view and I make no apologies for it. It's instinctual. It's biological. I don't want some other man busting in a woman that I'm with in a serious context. The "label" doesn't matter. If she's a woman that I either want to or am still considering the possibility of having children with, or continuing to have unprotected sex with, I do not want another guy possibly getting her pregnant or introducing disease.

"I don't expect a woman to be monogamous" actually means "I don't expect a woman to be monogamous with me, because I'm not good enough to make her feel the tradeoff is worth it or get her interest level that high."

It's a defense mechanism. You are too terrified of your own ability to keep a woman that you are afraid to impose any rules at all, so she would in theory never leave you and damage your fragile ego. So you put up a front that you are somehow immune to the rules of evolutionary psychology.

Many guys on this forum who advise "always spinning plates" are exhibiting traits of BPD - the excessive and continuous need for validation. I dumped a hor a few weeks ago, and haven't fuked anyone since. Haven't tried, haven't really given a sh!t. I'm not so emotionally empty that I can't focus on other areas of my life for a while, and better myself for a few weeks or even months, before I go hunting again. I'm about quality, not quantity these days. I don't need these women, they need me. And they better behave that way or they're gone. (Nothing against spinning plates, I go through these phases too - but there is something wrong if you have to do that 100% of the time. You need something outside of women as your core.)

The other reason I disagree with your feminist/enlightened view of female sexuality, is the simple fact that some women hold the M/W complex deeply. They get it from church sometimes, their family, conservative community, whatever. So they preserve themselves. They don't fuk 50 guys, drink 5x a week, take on debt and a high pressure career, etc. They wait for a high value man to come along and get them for the purpose of LTRs, marriage, kids. I'm at the stage now where I'd like to find one of them to give me some children. So if you don't want that, I understand. But the point is that there are women out there who are perfectly willing to submit and not cheat, who have a little more "honor" than your typical urban hor. So why should I accept a woman who will cheat no matter what I do, when I can have an equally hot woman who won't as long as I'm providing high value?

I don't expect women to be monogamous with me because I don't want to be monogamous with them, and monogamy is just social condition, humans aren't meant to be monogamous, if we were the divorce rate wouldn't be sooo extremely high.

I have rules, but obviously my rules are very different than yours,
some include, I don't accept drama from her, I expect sex everytime we meet,
and I expect her to have positive feminity, that's about it. If not I next her. But I don't cry when she texts other guys, or when she goes on FB seeking attention form other guys, doesnt affect me one bit.... my life is FAR too busy for this...


We have very different goals in life.

You want to get married, have kids, be bored, and unhappy and grow fat together with your wife....

while I want/have long-term happiness, sex with loads of hot women, money, freedom, carefulness...

Not dissing you, I accept that your goals are completely different than mine.

The matrix is very powerful afterall

 

[49au]

I don't expect women to be monogamous with me because I don't want to be monogamous with them, and monogamy is just social condition, humans aren't meant to be monogamous, if we were the divorce rate wouldn't be sooo extremely high.

You have a very immature and limited perspective.

Not beating the crap out of someone for insulting you is social conditioning. Not robbing a bank because you're low on money is social conditioning. Not grabbing a hot b!tch in a short dress and bending her over and fuking her in front of everyone - even that is social conditioning.

It's a tradeoff. You can't just go around doing whatever the fuk your "animal instinct" dictates, or you would lose your usefulness and place in society.

Telling a woman I'm considering an LTR with, or in one with, or in any way otherwise value, that I won't sleep with her if she's also sleeping with other men, is not an unreasonable restriction on her if I provide the type of value that she's looking for. And if I don't take her seriously, then I wouldn't care if she was banging other guys. But I'm certainly not going to take a b!tch like that in public or around my friends.

I have rules, but obviously my rules are very different than yours,
some include, I don't accept drama from her, I expect sex everytime we meet,
and I expect her to have positive feminity, that's about it. If not I next her. But I don't cry when she texts other guys, or when she goes on FB seeking attention form other guys, doesnt affect me one bit.... my life is FAR too busy for this...

You have no idea what my rules are. They're actually similar to yours. I too don't say anything about their orbiters or emotional tampons.

But what you didn't list is what I have a problem with. Physical cheating. She can sit there and tell some fool all night how I "just don't seem to care" about her, I don't care. But if she fuks another guy she's done.

Go ahead and think about a girl you enjoy, and would consider keeping around for a while. Think about her getting a train run on her in a bus station bathroom. Jack off to it if you want. Then take her back into your bed. But realize that you're too weak to reject even the lowest, most utterly useless form of woman.

We have very different goals in life.

You want to get married, have kids, be bored, and unhappy and grow fat together with your wife....

You have no idea what I ultimately want, how I plan to go about it, how far I've already come toward it, and what I'm willing to do to get it.

while I want/have long-term happiness, sex with loads of hot women, money, freedom, carefulness...

Not dissing you, I accept that your goals are completely different than mine.

The reason I know you're lying about this is that you can never have "loads of hot women", lots of money, "carefreeness" (I'm assuming that's the word you were looking for) and freedom all at the same time. Maybe daddy left you a fat trust fund. But otherwise, you're ignorant of reality.

 

[Boscus]

You have a very immature and limited perspective.

Really? Man, I've been there done that, did the whole irrational attachment to my girlfriends, realised it does not work, monogamy doesnt work...

Telling a woman I'm considering an LTR with, or in one with, or in any way otherwise value, that I won't sleep with her if she's also sleeping with other men, is not an unreasonable restriction on her if I provide the type of value that she's looking for. And if I don't take her seriously, then I wouldn't care if she was banging other guys. But I'm certainly not going to take a b!tch like that in public or around my friends.

That's fine, that would be known as one of your rules, and I don't diss you for it, many other guys are like you. However, I think you're forgetting this is women we are dealing with, they act on emotions, chick logic, and how they FEEL..

If I don't click with a chick, and she's into drugs or some sh!t like that, if shes low drama, sexy and hot, I will keep her as a FB only..she'll NEVER be upgraded to MLTR status ( Multiple long-term relationship)

That's one of my rules....

You have no idea what my rules are. They're actually similar to yours. I too don't say anything about their orbiters or emotional tampons.

But what you didn't list is what I have a problem with. Physical cheating. She can sit there and tell some fool all night how I "just don't seem to care" about her, I don't care. But if she fuks another guy she's done.

Go ahead and think about a girl you enjoy, and would consider keeping around for a while. Think about her getting a train run on her in a bus station bathroom. Jack off to it if you want. Then take her back into your bed. But realize that you're too weak to reject even the lowest, most utterly useless form of woman.

This is pure projection, you are projecting your negative views, and your m/w complex. I bet you want to fvck all sorts of HOT chicks, and do stuff with them, but god forbid they do it with other men, you deem them non-worthy of your time, or relationship...ridiculous, What's so bad about her enjoying herself with someone else? Why do ou care sooo much? ..it's her body, and her life, why would you want to control her, and btw don't bother saying ohhhh I'm afraid to reject a ''slvt'' as you would call it, haha if she gives me drama, shes nexted, but in my books, enjoying herself with other men isn't an offence worthy of a next. heck, I'd be a hypocrit wouldnt I I'm allowed bang other women, but shes not weird logic....

You have no idea what I ultimately want, how I plan to go about it, how far I've already come toward it, and what I'm willing to do to get it.

Never claimed to, just going with your previous posts.

The reason I know you're lying about this is that you can never have "loads of hot women", lots of money, "carefreeness" (I'm assuming that's the word you were looking for) and freedom all at the same time. Maybe daddy left you a fat trust fund. But otherwise, you're ignorant of reality.

Why can't you, why do you limit your life?

What's there to lie about? I fricken love my life, I love how I am not attached to anyone and anything, I used to be like you, trust me. It's a lot freer over here...come to the dark side ...

I'm ignorant of reality?...what is reality....it's what we make it, and make it mean.... It took me a while to reach this level of abundance, trust me, I used to be possessive, needy, clingy, etc you name it....but being in the game for long enough illuminated me to how women really are.. I woke up..

 

[49au]

I see. How old are you?