problem with friends..

[sbgm]

This is not about gettin a girl.

I have problems getting friends with the "cool" ones. I'm gettin good friend with one cool guy in my class, and one in my swimming team.

But when I ask them if we can hang around, they diss me. So if i ask them if I could go to parties with them.

My self-esteem sinks, and even more when I know all are goin to a party except me! It's terrible. I feel like I have no friends. And that's through too.

Today, I sit at home and I don't know what to do. I hate the weekends, the only thing I do is to sit at the computer surfing the net. I want to go to parties and have friends.

What should I do?

 

[Lust]

Be confident, be fun.

With girls, having something in common does not mean you and her will get alone, but with guys, this is usually the case.

Find something you both are passionate about, perhaps a sport, an instrument, an activity.

Don't go over board, i have a mate that is a nice guy but all he talks about is sports, he gets annoying.

Think what type of person would you want to hang around with, and be that person. Be confident about it too.

Good luck.

-Lust.

 

[musclyjerk]

This is not about gettin a girl.

I have problems getting friends with the "cool" ones. I'm gettin good friend with one cool guy in my class, and one in my swimming team.

But when I ask them if we can hang around, they diss me. So if i ask them if I could go to parties with them.

My self-esteem sinks, and even more when I know all are goin to a party except me! It's terrible. I feel like I have no friends. And that's through too.

Today, I sit at home and I don't know what to do. I hate the weekends, the only thing I do is to sit at the computer surfing the net. I want to go to parties and have friends.

What should I do?

Well you could change yourself entirely and begin acting to prove yourself 'worthy' of being in their 'cool' gang if that's really what you want to do.

I suspect you're not like them so don't try to be like them. Be your own person, form your own group of friends similar to you and have fun with that group and go out places with them and have your own parties . . . just don't try to be someone you're not - it's a worse place to be than where you're at now, believe me.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[BluEyes]

Making friends is all about value.

What do you bring to the table? Sit down and really think about it...They don't want a wimp as a friend, it just isn't a good thing to have clinging to you. People generally want friends who have value of some sort. When I'm at school, people know I compete for the school at rugby and tennis and have lots of "cool" friends, so when I try to befriend somebody, its really easy because to them I have value.

If you don't have anything going for you in your own life(looks, intelligence, athleticism, popularity, humour, wealth) then it's going to be an uphill battle. Notice the ones who make friends with everybody always have something to bring to the table.

I know it's viewed as the "scenic route" but work on yourself first and friends will come alot more easily.

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For all you losers who want the quick fix...Use push/pull.

Some days be nice and friendly, talkative, interested, etc.

The next day be cold, distant, arrogant, quiet, disinterested, etc.

When you do that, people start to "bite" and you'll be able to reel them in with social skills.

The downside of doing it this way is that you don't get to be yourself. It's hard to be comfortable jumping from one side of the fence from the other. That's why when you see popular people, they are always themselves because they have built up personal value and don't need to play games.

It's your choice, but at the end of the day you're really only you, so why not make yourself somebody to be proud of?

 

[Rint]

If they diss u diss them back. Show them you arn going to take that ****. Dont turn it into a fight though make it more like a playful diss. When you see the cool guys and cant move think this. I'm going to do think no matter what. Even if you get up and do it and fail remember that you failed, but gained something. You gained a lil bit of courage. If you are willing to go over and talk to them with no confidence and skills that means you got courage and it'll become easier

 

[Phoenix09]

I feel your pain man, I have pretty much the same problem and it really does suck. I go to a very small school where everyone knows everyone and since I am an outsider I still don't have any close friends and i've been going to this school for 1 and a half years. My advice would be to not try to change yourself just to be friends with the cool guys. If you're not like them you're going to make yourself miserable to try to emulate them, I think the best thing for you to do would be to just find people that you respect and try to be friends with them. Don't be friends with losers just because you were rejected by the more popular guys but just try to make friends with people you relate to and want to be like. As for your self-esteem the only way to make it higher is to believe that you're better than everyone else, if someone disses you than fvuck them, you're way better than them anyway. If you're social reputation is really screwed up than just use this time in your life to improve yourself, right now im trying to do everything I can do to make myself a better person so that when I start over at college i'll have a better social life.

 

[ChrizZ]

I´m kinda in the same position. However there are only 2 guys in my class that are from my town. I´m cool with everyone, but it really sucks. This is a new school for me and they already have friends out of school that they go out with. There is this one chick that disses me for no reason, but I´m extremely witty, so everytime she disses me she makes a fool out of herself (Damn, I love people like that ). I´m a cool guy, just stuck in the wrong place. The good thing is I´ll be moving to the US soon. What you gotta do is find people with the same interests and talk passionately about it with them. The most important thing is to be outgoing though. Good luck my man!