Problem...talk it out or hope it solves it self?

[*******]

I had some problems with the GF in the last couple weeks. She messed up and i said i was thinking about breaking up. Everything was good for a while and a couple of days ago she commented that she thought the relationship is "good but in danger". I said we'll talk about it the next day because i had to leave. a couple of days passed, and i don't know whether to try to talk things out or let those issues stay there and see if they work themselves out. thoughts? Talk or not?

she wouldn't bring that up herself either. She rather keep things to herself. Which on a good note, means she doesen't *****'.

 

[Phyzzle]

She messed up and i said i was thinking about breaking up.

So, any notion about how she "messed up"?

This is an anonymous internet forum. You can tell us. Really.

 

[*******]

it isn't cheating and it isn't worth breaking up over. The thing is that the problem is just causing tension. So if anybody can give an answer that would be great.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The two of you need to talk. Stop waiting for something to happen and take the initiative.

The thing you have to remember is NOT to use scare tactics, you'll just make things worse. You need to take a moment and speak from concern and stop speaking reactively from hurt feelings.

 

[Kings_royalty]

Talk it out, ignoring the problem won't make it go away. I've had couples ask me what the secret is to a good marriage, my answer is always the same....'communication'. You can't read each others minds so get it all out, put it on the table and sort it out. If it can't be sorted out, you know what to do.

 

[Hitman10000]

I read your post, now let me change it up and you tell me what would you do in this situation:

My $2000 Unreliable Used American Ford which was purchased back in January 2006 car is breaking down, just a couple weeks ago the starter is going bad and I may have to spend $500 to fix it, now the transmission is going out. But I'm gonna wait and hope it gets better but my DJ mechanics tell me it's not gonna get any better and that I may have to fix the transmission for $2000 as well as possibly replacing brake rotors, brake pads, and getting new tires costing me a $1000 more money. The Dumb person sticks around their brokeback car spending time, energy, and money with one problem after another, and the Smart person starts looking in the classifieds for a Reliable Used Japanese Toyota/Honda from a reputable source.

PS. I was that dumb person that always believed in American cars, I was also that dumb person who believed that I could change a girl into becoming the person that I envisioned. Nowadays I buy a Japanese car that does exactly what I want and I date girls that I have great long imaginative discussions/and romantic and physically open intimate exchanges.

 

[Phyzzle]

it isn't cheating and it isn't worth breaking up over. The thing is that the problem is just causing tension. So if anybody can give an answer that would be great.

An answer to what? What is the problem???

 

[*******]

hitman...

you have the wrong image of her. Part of the reason i am with her is because of the conversations. She has almost everything i want in a girl. The thing you don't understand is that just because she sometimes dosen't answer a question, because of shyness or secrecy, doesn't mean we don't have good conversations.

 

[Triv]

Nothing is going to solve by itself even thought there are times when you hope so. That is just self-lying and making things to become worse. You have to face the problem.

How she exactly messed up? Some background information about it could be helpful.

Both of you have noticed there is something wrong in the relationship. You need to start the conversation about your relatisionship. She probably won't do it, because of her shyness.

 

[Faded Image]

By you not totally explaining the problem, we won't be able to help you with any advice.


Ballen Cinco

 

[The Truth]

The two of you need to talk. Stop waiting for something to happen and take the initiative.

The thing you have to remember is NOT to use scare tactics, you'll just make things worse. You need to take a moment and speak from concern and stop speaking reactively from hurt feelings.

I support this advice. I had a bit of a problem with my girlfriend recently and I considered finishing with her, cheating on her, ignoring her and so on, without hearing what she had to say. I asked for advice on this board and from some friends and most of the reasonable replies suggested I talk to her, give her chance to give her point of view.

I calmed down, cleared my head and then I spoke to her. We got the matter in the open and it all worked out perfectly, and things have been good ever since.

A lot of relationships break up over misunderstandings and poor communication so always try to talk things through first and foremost!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...A lot of relationships break up over misunderstandings and poor communication so always try to talk things through first and foremost!

Guys, re-read this several times. In an effort to "be a man," you may miss out on an opportunity to be a happily content man.

 

[*******]

For those curious, i did have a little talk.
AT first she didn't want to answer some questions so i
just told not to talk to me or call until she is willing to answer.
Within 30 minutes, the phone rang and she told me something that if true
justifies everything and if not then she is an automatic next. there were tears both on the phone and in person but it's solved now.

 

[drummer]

Way to do it like a man! None of that shy away and hope for the best bullsh!t.

 

[The Truth]

Good to hear!

It always pays to talk and at least hear their point of view. Many members on this board encourage paranoia and would have you nexting girls as soon as you get suspicious, but in that case you will never keep a girl for long.

Hope things work out better for you now.