probably the most pathetic story you have ever heard

[usscrum]

*******************UPDATE*****************

So I ended up deleting this girl off of my facebook, cutting all contact, etc. and it has gone well. It is much easier to get over oneitis when you dont see the girl in your daily life and theres nothing to remind you of her.

So its been over a month since the incident in my OP, almost a month since I cut contact after making a fool out of myself when I couldn't see the signs that she wasn't interested.

Here's the kicker - her roommate (lets call her Donna) messaged me out of the blue last night on facebook. Just fluff talk, asking how i've been etc. I ask Donna how everything is going with her and her BF, she said fine, asked if I'm talking to any girls, i said I had my eye on one...nothing special just fluff talk. After about a 10 minute convo I bailed, told her to tell (oneitis girl) I said hey, hope she's doing well, blah blah blah. I didn't mention anything about all the **** that happened with me and her, didn't ask about her boyfriend...overall I think I played it well.

This morning, I wake up and find out that I have a friend request on facebook. And who else would it be other than oneitis girl herself. And like I suspected, she no longer has a boyfriend. I have a gut feeling that she either genuinely wants me back or she is in need of some attention and thinks that I am going to come crawling back the second she says hi (which I'm not going to do, trust me, I've learned my lesson).

What do I do here? I'm going to wait a little while before I decide whether or not to accept her friend request or not. Part of me doesn't want to do it because I feel like I'll fall right back into the same hole I was in a few weeks ago once I see her name pop up everywhere. But at the same time I want to be able to play it cool and refusing to be friends on facebook with someone is kind of childish.

Trust me, I'm not going to let her get to me again. I know that's hard to believe given the fact that she made me look like such a little ***** not even a month ago...but this site has really helped me out and I feel like I have the mindset I need to not let this bother me.

What would you guys do in this situation??

 

[K.Pez]

you got one hot girl, so now you know that you can get more hot girls. be confident and just remember that whenever you start to go AFC around a girl.

about the friend request: it's all about what you can handle. if you feel like you can be her facebook friend, but don't want her showing up on your home page news feed, you can do this:

on the homepage, if something of hers pops up, like a status update, put your mouse over it. an x box should appear in the upper right hand corner - click on it. when you click the x box, a message that says:

Xyz has been hidden from your News Feed.
In the future, you won't see posts from Xyz. (Show Hidden Friends)

the only time you'll see anything about them on facebook is if you make the effort to go on their page, which is all about self control. from your last post, it seems that you have it since you say you won't allow her to get to you again so good job on that. this is what i have done when i feel like denying a friend request isn't what i should do, but i don't want to be tempted with getting interested in their lives again. also, this way she has access to your profile so she can see how happy and fun your life is without her.

another option is that you can accept her request and then a few days later delete her if you find yourself on her page too much.

 

[mothballs]

Can't really add anything to this convo except... you know you went chump when you started going out of your way to see this girl and made a deal of it... she's not worth getting screwed on oneitis over.

that's what happens when you drive american cars.

Tell that to my Camaro with 173k miles, and all original drivetrain (well except for the 2 rear ends I blew up).

 

[Toshelt]

hey dude, i know what kind of situation you are in, i was in it for like 3 years ago. we had a great time, she text messaged me all day , and called me every almost everyday. we had a great time, we both knew we liked each other. but suddenly she changed , and she was acting like not interested anymore. heres is what you will do, and what my father told me to do

This thing im writing down below worked for me, so pay attention

build upp and leave... call her ( ass i did ) when she acts like not interesten and talk to her every day in about 4-5 days. then mute her. ignore her for like a week or two, she will come crawling back. i promise you. cause then she will miss you. this happened to me.

if you talk to her and then ignore her and become a ghost for like 1 week or moore, u will leave mystery behind, and she will suddenly start to miss you....

just try that , it worked for me , and my father

 

[usscrum]

hey dude, i know what kind of situation you are in, i was in it for like 3 years ago. we had a great time, she text messaged me all day , and called me every almost everyday. we had a great time, we both knew we liked each other. but suddenly she changed , and she was acting like not interested anymore. heres is what you will do, and what my father told me to do

This thing im writing down below worked for me, so pay attention

build upp and leave... call her ( ass i did ) when she acts like not interesten and talk to her every day in about 4-5 days. then mute her. ignore her for like a week or two, she will come crawling back. i promise you. cause then she will miss you. this happened to me.

if you talk to her and then ignore her and become a ghost for like 1 week or moore, u will leave mystery behind, and she will suddenly start to miss you....

just try that , it worked for me , and my father

i see where you're coming from, but i'm not gonna do that. this girl ****ed me over bigtime and i'm not gonna let her right back in after getting shot down on valentines day and her having a BF a week after that. i'm gonna accept her request later on today and let her talk to me if she wants to. if not, oh well her loss.

 

[scribblec]

i think your handling this very well good job

 

[46and2aheadofme]

dude just don't accept it....F*CK HER....seriously not accepting it is the ultimate option...by accepting it, deep down you are just looking for her to come back to you and you will only end up being disappointed. You're probably not going to listen to me, but hey that's your decision.

Trust me, if you want to maintain any semblance of control it is your job to reject her. Not accepting her FB is the perfect way. Seriously that is such a weak way to reach out to someone....Don't stand for anything less than a phone call from her crying asking why you won't talk to her, and how she wants you back. Even then you should be hesitant. This girl has already shown lots of warning signs IMO.

 

[usscrum]

dude just don't accept it....F*CK HER....seriously not accepting it is the ultimate option...by accepting it, deep down you are just looking for her to come back to you and you will only end up being disappointed. You're probably not going to listen to me, but hey that's your decision.

Trust me, if you want to maintain any semblance of control it is your job to reject her. Not accepting her FB is the perfect way. Seriously that is such a weak way to reach out to someone....Don't stand for anything less than a phone call from her crying asking why you won't talk to her, and how she wants you back. Even then you should be hesitant. This girl has already shown lots of warning signs IMO.

haha, wish i had read this earlier. i already accepted it.

honestly i am not worried about it. she is not important to me anymore and i couldn't care less how she feels about me. i am not expecting her to come groveling at my feet begging for forgiveness, and if she does its because she wants attention.

if she does decide to contact me, whatever. i'll probably keep in contact occasionally so i can work on f***ing her over the summer. i have no desire to be in a relationship with this girl anymore...so the 'power' she feels like she has over me is nonexistent.

 

[Apocalypse Now]

The fact that you're still posting in this thread is proof that you are not over her/the situation. The entire situation was caused because you made mistake after mistake. That's not a bad thing because it means you learned something. You did learn something right?


Stop talking about getting revenge and all of that other stupid bull****. In the grand scheme of things, she didn't do anything to **** you over. You slipped up and let a girl get to your head, and as a result you were unattractive to her. That's entirely on you. Bitterness toward one girl is going to manifest itself as bitterness toward all.

Accept your mistake, move on, let it go, and stop thinking about her.

 

[Perry]

dude just don't accept it....F*CK HER....seriously not accepting it is the ultimate option...by accepting it, deep down you are just looking for her to come back to you and you will only end up being disappointed. You're probably not going to listen to me, but hey that's your decision.

Trust me, if you want to maintain any semblance of control it is your job to reject her. Not accepting her FB is the perfect way. Seriously that is such a weak way to reach out to someone....Don't stand for anything less than a phone call from her crying asking why you won't talk to her, and how she wants you back. Even then you should be hesitant. This girl has already shown lots of warning signs IMO.

Before reading my fellow Tool fan's post i was thinking that there is no harm in accepting her friend request if you could control yourself, but even if you do control yourself, you will still see her pop up if you type in someones name or when you see her on facebook im. Im worried that this may cause you to start thinking about her more and try to start talking to her. You even said that you are gonna try and "work on fvking her over the next summer" which will definitely cause you to start thinking about her again, possibly causing a relapse of your afc ways. I would also suggest to delete her again, and never look back... This same thing is happening to me right now as well bro, and because of this post im gonna delete her. so thanks?