(Probably) the biggest embarrassment in my life

[logarithm]

Hello, guys!
Big trouble over here, need soon really good suggestions for this one... There was a girl whom I liked a lot and whom I finally picked up 3 weeks ago. She is a serious girl and looked to be a lot into the relationship. However, she comes from a very conservative background and is kinda slow in the sex department. I was pushing her hard though (made her jelaous by flirting with other girls, told her I may get another one, etc.) and Saturday night she eventually came to my place. She was (and still is) in her period, so I left her pants on, but she insisted to leave her bra and blouse on too. I felt very frustrated and anxious about this, also said something which offended her, so things didn't work quite good. I again pushed some buttons on her, so she removed her blouse and stroked my guy for a while, then we went to sleep. From the very beginning she warned that doesn't intend to stay for the whole night, so left at 2:30. I was very sleepy and didn't want her to go, so kinda stupidly called her "bitc*" (wasn't serious though) and even didn't accompany her to the car.
On the next day we texted a little bit and she was furious, told me that she has never felt so bad, I've been selfish... I made a picture for her (I know it's cheesy, but girls dig it actually) and she replied that it's cute and didn't know I could draw her so well. Later I was worried about her and gone into "crazy mode", texted her several times to see how she is doing. Eventually she replied and said all kinds of crappy stuff ("No one has treated me so lame", "I prefer to be alone than with someone who calls me a "bitc*" and even doesn't walk me to the car", etc.). I just replied:
"I was sleepy and not serious when said that. Made a mistake yesterday and felt like shi* today. Didn't want to end like this, you are a nice girl."
and that's it... I feel very embarrassed now, realize that I actually made her go way beyond her comfort zone for me and even treated her mean after that. I would like to get her back, but most of all just to make sure she doesn't feel bad.
What would you suggest? Send her an apologetic message on facebook? Don't contact any more? Talk to her if I see her eventually?
Thank you in advance!

P.S. I know some of the stuff up there sounds ridiculously AFC, but this girl is from the middle-Eastern, it's really different. Talks all the time about faithfulness and stuff...

 

[Renegade357]

Haha, you're a real gentleman dude. Not sure what kind of advice you're looking for. Maybe you should start by learning to treat women with respect.

 

[Asterisk]

from what i can tell, women are the same all around the world.
she wants to leave? send her off in a good mood, she'll be twice as likely to come back wanting more of the good stuff

 

[Bible_Belt]

That was the biggest embarrassment of your life? You ought to be embarrassed of being embarrassed.

 

[sighsigh]

Well, if she is seriously offended, then you should apologize. But make the apology quick and light, and then don't mention the incident again. The less you apologize to a woman, the better. If you think you can get away without an apology then don't bother with one. And don't offend her this much again. There's nothing to be gained by seriously upsetting a woman.

EDIT: It seems you already made an apology by telling her you made a mistake. That's good enough. I would now go no contact. You could wait to see if she contacts you. Or, a little while later you could ask her out on another date and then do things right this time (that is, show her a good time).

 

[logarithm]

Thank you for the replies, guys.
However, I couldn't handle it, so texted her... Told her several times to decide if she wants to come back or not, but she was just repeating 'I feel bad since Saturday', 'I want, but you make me hurt', 'I must find someone who appreciates me' and so on. Eventually I stopped answering to her (I guess had to do it at least 3 messages earlier). Going to see her on Wednesday in a dance class. I think not to do anything now and ask her what she has decided then?

 

[SoSuave666]

she wants all this respect from you and yet she does not reciprocate. This is the 21st century...she is either into you enough to have secks with you or she isn't. If she is rubbing your john, she is probably willing to fvck. When you give her ultimatums though, you're basically telling her you have no other options.

This b!tch needs to sh!t or get off the pot. The more you apologize the more power you give her. I make it a point to not apologize, even if I'm definitely in the wrong. I just say "If I had another go at it, I might do it differently." Don't ever commit to being wrong, it's weak.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Take the reins.

Tell her you're both going to start over, let's go to XYZ and start fresh. If she goes for it, great. If not, move on.

 

[Three]

Don't ask her what she's decided, dude. You'll never ever be the man in a relationship that starts like that. What have YOU decided? How do you want this to go?

Yes, you were a total dick and apologized. You have to be a man and act like a grownup. You have to decide what you want your world and your life to look like and then decide if she fits into it. If not, NEXT.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Don't ask her what she's decided, dude. You'll never ever be the man in a relationship that starts like that. What have YOU decided? How do you want this to go?

Yes, you were a total dick and apologized. You have to be a man and act like a grownup. You have to decide what you want your world and your life to look like and then decide if she fits into it. If not, NEXT.

This.

 

[VladPatton]

I understand your frustration. I would let it sit and try to start over, however do note, that not all females are created equal. The more ties they have to their ethnic background, the harder it is going to be for an American guy to be in a sexual relationship with them. Her and her family will always be partial to a guy of the same background, so you are automatically at a disadvantage. Just something I've noticed. If she has strong Middle-Eastern Muslim beliefs, you are screwed. If she's willing to break away and Americanize, your chances are better.