Preventing AFC Recursion

[Buddha_Mind]

This has not always been easy -- and changing habits takes time. I've been on the road and am now recently in an area where there are less abundant young women. This definitely has an effect on the practice of these things, as truly, I've found myself jumping at things that before I wouldn't have necessarily taken second glances at.

Maybe there is something to be said about scarcity.

But the deeper issue here I am trying to address is preventing AFC recursion. That is, preventing falling back to our old habits. How do any of you cope with this? Do you find yourself at times, those of you who have made the journey -- falling back towards old habits?

My determination to create the sort of relationships that I want has not faltered, but this whole thing is definitely a process of change, and I find at times ebbs and flows. We just have to keep working to build positive habits, to not give up, and to take note when we backstep with an action or tendency that would be dubbed, "AFCish".

Righteous be your improved self,
buddha_mind.

 

[DMSR76]

I think the best way to prevent AFC relapse is to stay in contact with friends and/or community members who are on the right path.

The most dangerous times for me are either when I have moments of frustration with the dating scene or when I have moments of complacency when dealing with women possessing "promising" traits. Thankfully, these dangers hold less and less influence on me because of my personal growth, and because I strive to continually reinforce the positive things I've learned in recent years. I do this either through contact with a select few friends who I know follow a sound ideology, or by learning from men on this site. I can honestly say that I'm a better man now than I was say... three years ago, and that motivates me to continue to build upon that.

You make an excellent statement about creating the types of relationships you want, which is a strong indication of moving in the right direction. I've noticed that the more I've grown, the more effective I am in choosing the types of people with whom I form kinships. I find that I am no longer interested in interacting with certain types of people, and the filtering of these undesirables has resulted in a greater level of peace in my relationships and in my life in general.

Continue to develop your interests and to take control of your destiny, and the urge to relapse will be fewer and farther in between.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

DMS -- Thanks for your reply, it definitely provides positive insight. I also agree that who we choose to bring into our life plays a big part in what conflicts we deal with, ect. Sometimes this is difficult, as you can't always have control of these things (ie, co-workers, ect) -- but you can definitely take control in how much stock you invest into certain people.

I suppose some of my feelings right now are frustration -- or fear of losing the progress I've made. One thing I have learned about areas of self-development is that we can at times reach plateaus, and even more so, sometimes slow and steady progress can be hard to see.

 

[squirrels]

"Relapse" is sometimes part of the learning process.

I know I've been through it a couple of times. You start to walk, you fall. You get back up, you try again, you fall. You learn from your mistakes, get back up, and start hobbling around. You try to run too fast...you fall.

You come back a little stronger each time...it's a continual cycle of death and re-birth.

 

[squirrels]

The vaunted DOUBLE-POST!

Mods, please delete.