"Pretend" Value

[sparkogre]

Does this ever happen to you in a class?

You'll be the most alpha, funny, talkative cool person there, but at the end of the day you don't really have any friends.


I think my problem is like this:

I used to be utterly socially incompetent. Then I observed in the classroom (because I had no normal out of school friends) what the cool kids were doing, and started copying them.

So now, I'm better than most people at attraction and AMOGing. Like WAAAAY better.


But... I have trouble making real friends.

I mean, the girls are all over me, but the guys.... I don't make friends with them. I just took a 5-day camp thing, and I was definitely the coolest guy there and I was with all the girls, but I didn't really have any guy friends. They weren't weird or anything, they were normal. They were friends with each other. I just felt like an outsider. It's weird to be the ****ing coolest person, and then be a total outsider in the next moment.

 

[eaglez1177]

I know exactly what you mean. I've never been in this situation, but theres definitely a few kids at my school that are exactly like you: They're great with girls, but have legit zero guy friends.

Unfortunately, the few guys that have this status are seen as "fruitcakes" and "f*gs", so hopefully thats not how guys think of you.

The only advice I can give you really is to just be yourself when you're around the guys. Dont try to act like something different or pretend to be something. The reason why you may not have any guy friends is because they've all realized that you're a faker and that you act like something you're not.

Question: are you just friends with most of the girls? Or do you actually get ass from them? If you're just friends with most of them, then I hate to break it to ya but you're a complete fruitcake. If you get ass from them, then your not a fruitcake lol.

 

[sparkogre]

EDIT1: Nobody here knew me before the camp started. So they had no old ideas of me.




All the guys think I'm pretty cool, I'm just not good friends with them. For example, if I were to go sit with some of them at lunch I would be the center of attention (not dancing monkey, I have purged that), and they're always qualifying themselves to me.


Believe me, I wish I was a fruitcake, because then there would be an easy solution. Maybe it's just that I don't seem interested enough in them, or that I just don't talk to them, or maybe I really am a fruitcake in denial. :rock:

Question: are you just friends with most of the girls? Or do you actually get ass from them? If you're just friends with most of them, then I hate to break it to ya but you're a complete fruitcake. If you get ass from them, then your not a fruitcake lol.

Well this was a 5-day camp, and it's now over. I got some of the girls phone numbers, and I'm definitely not friend-zoned.



EDIT: I've been using pretty much just c&f on the girls and to the whole class. No, I haven't been talking the same way to the guys and the girls, but nobody goes around teasing guys. I've been normal with the guys. I think maybe it's just a matter of talking to them more, because I didn't really talk to them that much.

I'm going to read How to Win Friends and Influence People.

 

[eaglez1177]

I think another part of the problem may be simply because you're just soooo concentrated on girls and gaming them up that you've completely forgotten about and ignored all the guys (kinda like what you stated).

To me it sounds like you want a real best friend, ya know some guy that you can always go to and be chill with and hang out with and all that stuff.

I think the best thing you can do is just socialize with guys and be yourself in doing so, rather than read books or something to "teach" you how to become friends with people (cuz once again, that stuff is just going to draw you further away from being yourself).

Eventually, you'll come across one or a few guys that you'll just have a great natural connection with (no homo), and then you'll know that you have a real best friend.

 

[Elmoshow21]

Plan a get together with some girls and invite the the guy you want to be friend with to join.

 

[jeffthechef]

eh elmo..i understnad your plan..but the result could be bad
that guy might simply think of you as a pimp for him..he comes to you whenever he wants some girls..

eaglez is pretty good..
and some additonal things

i mean..are you sure you know you're the alpha of the group? cause if you were, most guys would be contacting you to hang out...you may exhibit alpha qualities or even be one...but you haven't established yourself as the alpha of the group yet.

and as said before...spend more time with the male-bonding and less time with the ladies..if you aren't great with the guys, they may be future ****blockers/competition later on...male friends are always great too

 

[pseudo.Sam]

This is exactly like the movie "I love you man"...go watch it

 

[sparkogre]

i mean..are you sure you know you're the alpha of the group? cause if you were, most guys would be contacting you to hang out...you may exhibit alpha qualities or even be one...but you haven't established yourself as the alpha of the group yet.

I think I'm the alpha of the group, but obviously I'm missing something here. I'm more alpha than any of the other guys, but maybe I'm not THE alpha. Definitely I talk to girls more than guys, but not in a "fruitcake" kind of way.

I'm probably missing something blatantly obvious to most people...I dunno. Everybody treats me like the alpha. I don't think I was even mildly AMOG'd once during that whole 5 days.


I'm going to make a point to talk to guys more from now on.

This is exactly like the movie "I love you man"...go watch it

I have guy friends, but they're all OLD guy friends. nobody new.


And I can't really draw any analogies from this to at school, because I'm at the utter bottom of the social ladder at school. But nobody knew that.

 

[sparkogre]

I think I am a dancing monkey.

Time to fix that.

 

[Spade]

All i can say is forget ur school bro, go outside n join a sports team or somthin then become friends with a few of the guys... if u wanna make real friends that u can talk boiut nething n shyt...u gotta hve done shyt together like...gettin out of trouble n shyt...

Hope this helps, $pade

 

[sparkogre]

Oh, believe me, I could give half a **** about most of those people.

It's just that this is a recurring theme, which means that it's not a fluke.

 

[onebigfatcat]

Essentially there are two Alphas. There's the leader of the pack and then there's the leader of the PACK. Think about it from the other side of the equation. A group of AFCs who have no abilities with women are not going to want to be mates with the leader of the PACK. They'll respect him and look up to him sure, but they have their own leader/s who is existentially one of them. Unfortunately being leader of the PACK can be lonely in some ways until you find others that have the same level of maturity and interests as yourself.

 

[Evzone]

Call up some of the people that you have a good time with at school and hang out outside of school. Get a group and go see Tucker Max's new movie or something. Do you play any sports? Even if you're not on the school team, play city league or just pickup games after school.

Also: remember that there is a fine line between being the alpha center of attention, and just being the annoying center of attention. I realize the dynamic is different in high school (much more superficial), but look at all the great leaders through history. Winston Churchill or Teddy Roosevelt (even mob boss John Gotti) didn't need to shout or be a grand spectacle, just a few words and gestures spoken from a quiet, powerful confidence, and thousands of men dashed off to follow their orders.

 

[onebigfatcat]

There's a big difference between being the real Alpha and having a load of mates. I was extremely popular in highschool. I was the jock that dated the hottest cheerleaders. Etc. But no real friends. Honestly, most guys are AFCs, and you probably aren't in the same mindset. Sure guys followed Churchill and Roosevelt to war, but how many of them did they actually consider buddies?