Prenup?

[sodbuster]

Have to agree with BB

 

[backbreaker]

just to clarify, we kinda harp on this idea about being an alpha male and the imagery that comes with that is like a cave man with the leopard skin robe and the club going around just beating people out with the helpless woman back at the cave, but in reality, there is a fine line, between being alpha/DJ and being too arrogant.

what i mean is, just beucdase YOU are a catch, doesn't' mean your GF ISN'T.

both of you want what you want. in a unbalanced relationship, the one who needs the other the least is going to get the bulk of the "stuff". this is AFCism at it's nature. IN a healthy relationship, you learn to compromise on somethings but stand steadfast on others. Some things some parties aren't going to be willing to compromise on, the things they hold the most important, for instance, I HATE to be questioned/having a woman all in my grill every hour of the day. I have to have my space, even under the same roof. That's just how I'm wired. I lived alone my entire life, it's what I am used to. She doesn't give me any flak about it and while we spend our time together, she gives me my space. doesn't complain when I just up and leave, she knows how I tick. That's always going to be me. Nor am I going to go "get regular job". I marriage for women is one of those things.

so we are sitting at the negoationing table of life, and she says okay buddy, i value marriage and you value eing able to live out your dreams and ambitions to the fuillest withhout having someone telling you to do what normal people do. I will be more thanm willing to let udo whatever you want and supoprt you fully, take care of the house and our son, fvck your brains out and look good doing it, and do it all happily, if you will marry me. Dude WTF are you seriously going to object to that?

 

[zekko]

Spinning plates, should be a process to determine a who is LTR material, not a life style IMHO

A bold and interesting statement considering the viewpoints usually held around here:
That the alpha male must spread his seed, that monogamy is completely unnatural and only exists because of feminine influenced culture, that the alpha male's greatest joy is sleeping around and marriage kills that, that marriage has no benefit for the man, etc.

It appears some guys will want to spin plates forever, but I agree it serves as a great filter for finding an LTR.

As I recently said, one reason I value monogamy is that I find the thought of screwing women who are also screwing other guys disgusting. And I don't believe that is a wholly unnatural impulse. It even fits into "survival of the fittest" since it limits the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, especially in the times before condoms were invented.

 

[Nutz]

A bold and interesting statement considering the viewpoints usually held around here:
That the alpha male must spread his seed, that monogamy is completely unnatural and only exists because of feminine influenced culture, that the alpha male's greatest joy is sleeping around and marriage kills that, that marriage has no benefit for the man, etc.

It appears some guys will want to spin plates forever, but I agree it serves as a great filter for finding an LTR.

As I recently said, one reason I value monogamy is that I find the thought of screwing women who are also screwing other guys disgusting. And I don't believe that is a wholly unnatural impulse. It even fits into "survival of the fittest" since it limits the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, especially in the times before condoms were invented.

It all depends on what your relationship goals are. Personally speaking I'm not a fan of LTRs, but I am a fan of loose serial monogamy. I get into a relationship, things get hot and heavy for a few weeks/months, and then it fizzles out. I understand this and accept it as my way of being. Spinning plates lets me have a steady rotation of women to cycle through, keeps me from overinvesting in one woman, and keeps my head clear. Every once in a while I get serious and all the times this has happened the relationship went to sh!t.

 

[zekko]

It all depends on what your relationship goals are. Personally speaking I'm not a fan of LTRs, but I am a fan of loose serial monogamy. I get into a relationship, things get hot and heavy for a few weeks/months, and then it fizzles out. I understand this and accept it as my way of being. Spinning plates lets me have a steady rotation of women to cycle through, keeps me from overinvesting in one woman, and keeps my head clear. Every once in a while I get serious and all the times this has happened the relationship went to sh!t.

You're right of course, and YMMV. I did my share of plate spinning when I was younger. And I suppose not all guys are cut out for LTRs.

Another reason I like LTRs is honestly, I hate dating (defining "dating" loosely here - don't say something like "You shouldn't date, you should hang out" - I'm putting all that stuff in the same bucket).

The multiple sexual partner thing is exciting, no doubt. But the dating is a pain in the @ss, it's just not all that enjoyable to me. And reading the exploits of the guys here who are still out in the field (and all the BS they run into) doesn't do anything to change my mind.

 

[backbreaker]

You're right of course, and YMMV. I did my share of plate spinning when I was younger. And I suppose not all guys are cut out for LTRs.

Another reason I like LTRs is honestly, I hate dating (defining "dating" loosely here - don't say something like "You shouldn't date, you should hang out" - I'm putting all that stuff in the same bucket).

The multiple sexual partner thing is exciting, no doubt. But the dating is a pain in the @ss, it's just not all that enjoyable to me. And reading the exploits of the guys here who are still out in the field (and all the BS they run into) doesn't do anything to change my mind.

]

I have come to the conclusion that Nutz point of view (not picking on nutz at all), that it depends on what your relationship goals are is a logical fallacy because it starts off making a false premise. What I mean by that is, he is assuming that he has a check list of what he wants to accomplish before he meets the girl, when in reality, you don't (or aren't supposed to) know what you want out of a relationship utnil you actually meet said girl and she shows you what she is able to provide. some women might only e able to provide adequate b ooty calls. some migght be good for taking out a few times a week and spending the night with, nothing more. some might be okay for a good 1-2 month relationship where you f each others brains otu but you both move on. some might not be good for anything.

To go further, what I am getting getting at is, no one, well i'm not going to say no one, a lot of people do, but, how can I say this... you aren't supposed to go on dates or hook up with women with exceptions pre set. You don't' know when you are going to settle down, you will settle down when you meet someone worth settling down with. that might be next week it might be 12 years from now, but when you actually meet that person and you screen her property, your feelings towards her will shift as will your mindset towards LTR's.

I have said this many times.. I didn't plan on getting married. hell truth be told I didn't plan on having a LTR. my wife was so much better than the other plates I was spinning, i had to stop spinning other plates, because it was pointless. why spin time with vastly inferior (in my mind) plates? her overall package and behavior, lead me to the conclusion that I wanted a LTR with her.

 

[backbreaker]

so I'm' sitting here next to my wife who is laying down reading about her 2nd fav subject kate middleton lol. I am/got to thinking, the catch dynamic is so strong, a woman got the fvcking prince of england to marry him. She had him by the balls and he knew it, beucase there aren't very many Kate middleton's out there (while I get tired of hearing about her, she's about as close to a HB 10 as I think you will find in real life as far as the entire package).. and Prince William knew it. he knew there was 1. no one that was going to be an upgrade to her or even that many on her level and 2. that if she didn't marry her someonee else would with the quickness. and we aren'mt even talking about a normla ass wedding we are talking about a royal wedding lol, price William had 0% chance on that ****. she wasn't budging.

If you want to fvck the kate middletons of the world you will get married. not because are a chump, but because women who are that aren't a dime a dozen

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you want to fvck the kate middletons of the world you will get married.

That's what every married man thinks. But more than half of them still get divorced.

I promise I am genuinely happy for you, and I hope your marriage continues to go well. But my point is that you have a biased perspective on the institution of marriage. Your life aside, more people still end up miserable than end up happy.

I know a lawyer who specializes in long, miserable divorces for wealthy men. He likens women to other depreciating assets like planes and boats and says, "If it flies, fvcks, or floats, then rent it, don't buy it." But of course the women of the world all know that this is the best advice for men, which is why women love getting married and thus press the issue.

I agree with what you said if you mean it towards one particular 'Kate Middleton' of the world, and if that's what's right for you at that time in your life, then there's nothing wrong with that at all. But there will always be younger, hotter 'Kates,' which is why most powerful married men will always have mistresses, divorces, or both. And they still run for president.

 

[backbreaker]

If you want to fvck the kate middletons of the world you will get married.

That's what every married man thinks. But more than half of them still get divorced.

I promise I am genuinely happy for you, and I hope your marriage continues to go well. But my point is that you have a biased perspective on the institution of marriage. Your life aside, more people still end up miserable than end up happy.

I know a lawyer who specializes in long, miserable divorces for wealthy men. He likens women to other depreciating assets like planes and boats and says, "If it flies, fvcks, or floats, then rent it, don't buy it." But of course the women of the world all know that this is the best advice for men, which is why women love getting married and thus press the issue.

I agree with what you said if you mean it towards one particular 'Kate Middleton' of the world, and if that's what's right for you at that time in your life, then there's nothing wrong with that at all. But there will always be younger, hotter 'Kates,' which is why most powerful married men will always have mistresses, divorces, or both. And they still run for president.

]

I probably could have worded the post better honestly. i believe as a princple that plate spinning is not only okay it's essential, TO WEED OUT WOMAN INM THE DATING PROCESS TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FOUND THE ABSOUTE BEST OPTION..

There is some give and take.

I'm too pragmatic to think that the type of women I like to date/have sex with, are going to be 100% happy with not being married the rest of their lives. The only women who would be down for that, are women who don't have the ability for whatever the reason may be to not dictate terms. i.e leftovers.

At the same time, that does not mean that you should just marry a woman because it's the thing to do.

The best sceneio is to use the tools, reasoning and knowledge you have to create the best environment for you, from screening out women who aren't comparable to setting the proper frame in a relationship..

basically the thought that dammit I really don't want to get married, but being realistic, the type of women I like to date/see all will be married to me or someone, so if I am going to get married, the very least I can do is make sure it's a healthy mutually beneficial one that's under my terms.

To use another horse racing analogy, the guy who complains about the rules of marriage, to me is the same guy that complains about take out at the horse track (the percentage of money that the track gets per wager), and the fact that it is "too high" is the sole reason this guy can't make money. if only the rules were different i would make money.

 

[azanon]

*whispers * The best financial setup of all is to get married, then actually make it work.

The moment I hear of how "moving in with a chick" tends to work out great financially, and for the kids, is the moment I'll jump on the no marriage bandwagen.

Until then, I'll just go on prospering in my now 18 year long marriage, and laugh all the way to the post office once again as I drop off my killer deal "married, filing jointly" 1040 tax return. I can imagine why the LG community is so pissed off! lol

BTW single, never married fellows, about half of those that seem to be bitter about marriage are divorced and bitter. And none of them think it was their fault. Be warned!

 

[scrouds]

kate middleton is not a 10, she's a 0. As in no self respecting man, let alone of royal lineage, should date let alone marry his brother's leftovers.

 

[backbreaker]

kate middleton is not a 10, she's a 0. As in no self respecting man, let alone of royal lineage, should date let alone marry his brother's leftovers.

which should actually be a thread upon itself in reality.

imagine if you had a brother that was in the NBA. you met this chick, smoking hot. smart, just IT. everything, had it all.

she dates you for a while, leaves you only for you to find out your ex and your BROTHER are now going at it. and they get married.
[
I don't think i would ever talk to my brother again

 

[azanon]

which should actually be a thread upon itself in reality.

imagine if you had a brother that was in the NBA. you met this chick, smoking hot. smart, just IT. everything, had it all.

she dates you for a while, leaves you only for you to find out your ex and your BROTHER are now going at it. and they get married.
[
I don't think i would ever talk to my brother again

Where I grew up in a small town in AR, that's what the rednecks did. When it was 1 girl/2 guy complication like that (or vise versa), the one guy who got left for the other would get mad, and meet up in a parking lot to fight. Said redneck would never actually blame the girl.

If it were me, I'd thank my brother for revealing the truth character or feelings of the girl. Who the he** even wants a chick that is just one step away from leaving you as soon as fame or money shows up? I'd also probably ask him how the sloppy seconds are, just to get a little fun out of it too.

Even today, I don't get mad if a dude hits on my wife (when I'm not with her). She's hot enough that I sort of expect it to happen. What I also expect is for her to turn them down, and if she doesn't, I'd blame her and only her 100%.

 

[Burroughs]

The real question is....is Kate Middleton good in bed.

BJ skills, azz licking, all that good filthy stuff.....is kate up to it? I mean a future king deserves as much doesn't he.

Thats where I disagree with you BB, if you gotta put a ring on it to fvck it I'd sooner rent a pornstar...better to rent that to buy.

Then again a king has to keep up appearances unless he be branded a poofter (too late)..he can always dip into the helicopter and get something something on the side

 

[azanon]

]

I probably could have worded the post better honestly. i believe as a princple that plate spinning is not only okay it's essential, TO WEED OUT WOMAN INM THE DATING PROCESS TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FOUND THE ABSOUTE BEST OPTION..

There is some give and take.

I'm too pragmatic to think that the type of women I like to date/have sex with, are going to be 100% happy with not being married the rest of their lives. The only women who would be down for that, are women who don't have the ability for whatever the reason may be to not dictate terms. i.e leftovers.

At the same time, that does not mean that you should just marry a woman because it's the thing to do.

The best sceneio is to use the tools, reasoning and knowledge you have to create the best environment for you, from screening out women who aren't comparable to setting the proper frame in a relationship..

basically the thought that dammit I really don't want to get married, but being realistic, the type of women I like to date/see all will be married to me or someone, so if I am going to get married, the very least I can do is make sure it's a healthy mutually beneficial one that's under my terms.

To use another horse racing analogy, the guy who complains about the rules of marriage, to me is the same guy that complains about take out at the horse track (the percentage of money that the track gets per wager), and the fact that it is "too high" is the sole reason this guy can't make money. if only the rules were different i would make money.

Just so you know I don't disagree with everything you say, I actually can't find any fault here. Solid post.

 

[backbreaker]

Where I grew up in a small town in AR, that's what the rednecks did. When it was 1 girl/2 guy complication like that (or vise versa), the one guy who got left for the other would get mad, and meet up in a parking lot to fight. Said redneck would never actually blame the girl.

If it were me, I'd thank my brother for revealing the truth character or feelings of the girl. Who the he** even wants a chick that is just one step away from leaving you as soon as fame or money shows up? I'd also probably ask him how the sloppy seconds are, just to get a little fun out of it too.

Even today, I don't get mad if a dude hits on my wife (when I'm not with her). She's hot enough that I sort of expect it to happen. What I also expect is for her to turn them down, and if she doesn't, I'd blame her and only her 100%.

that's pretty much how I feel. my wife gets hit on often enough, I put myself in the guys shoes and say hell if i were in his position i would be doing the exat same thing. you can't hate or get mad at the guy.

But I expect my wife to shoot them down rather quickly.

it's funny, my dad used to date this woman, and then around the age of 22 ish, he met my mom and basically dumped her for my mom. The thing is, his best friend, ended up MARRYING the dumped woman, and to make matters even more fvcked up, her and my mom, are best friends to this day. I mean BEST friends. I basically grew up with her kid's, I look at them like little cousins.

 

[Nutz]

]you don't (or aren't supposed to) know what you want out of a relationship utnil you actually meet said girl and she shows you what she is able to provide.

I disagree. Men should have standards and an idea of what they want in a relationship. In fact it's the core of qualification, and knowing what traits and characteristics you want in a woman should be what guides how you interact with women in terms of filtering the hookups from the LTRs. I wrote in detail about this here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/c...this_iois_iods_qualification_and_more/c2r9hg4

And setting goals here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/c...this_iois_iods_qualification_and_more/c2r9j45

 

[zekko]

so I'm' sitting here next to my wife who is laying down reading about her 2nd fav subject kate middleton lol. I am/got to thinking, the catch dynamic is so strong, a woman got the fvcking prince of england to marry him. She had him by the balls and he knew it, beucase there aren't very many Kate middleton's out there (while I get tired of hearing about her, she's about as close to a HB 10 as I think you will find in real life as far as the entire package).. and Prince William knew it. he knew there was 1. no one that was going to be an upgrade to her or even that many on her level and 2. that if she didn't marry her someonee else would with the quickness. and we aren'mt even talking about a normla ass wedding we are talking about a royal wedding lol, price William had 0% chance on that ****. she wasn't budging.

Shouldn't the prince be the prize, not Kate Middleton?

 

[Lexington]

Just to re-iterate my point about the female perception of divorcee entitlements, read this brief article about Kobe Bryant's recent marraige dissolution. His soon-to-be ex will reportedly "settle" for 75 million dollars--half of Kobe's worth (supposedly half--I think he has a lot more than that!).

And, for the record, Kobe didn't sign a pre-nup. I find it hard to believe that he didn;t at least mention to her, before the marraige, that he wanted her to sign a pre-nup--and I'll bet that she shrewdly talked him out of it. Kobe's not the brightest star in the universe, but I don't think he's dumb enough to at least not THINK about making her sign something.

You can dam sure bet that he'll make his next wife sign a pre-nup.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/readers/2011/12/kobe-bryant-vanessa-bryant-divorce-windfall.html

I'm not surprised that he didn't sign a prenup. He must have been 21 or so when he married her. A lot of guys still don't have their head on straight at that age....I know I certainly didn't.

I too am a little bit surprised that his net worth works out to "only" $150 million. Tiger Woods was worth over $1 billion at the time of his divorce and certainly Kobe Bryant has to be among the highest earning athletes in the world.

 

[sodbuster]

Azanon, you talking about divorced men is like a single guy talking about marriage.... you really don't have a CLUE. Your "married filing jointly 1040" line made me laugh at the ignorance on display.

My chiropractor told me "even with the ungodly child support I pay.... somehow, I have more money than I did married. My loans are getting paid off faster,I've got cash in my pocket, I can go to Vegas when ever I want. I wouldn't mind finding a girlfriend for about an 8 year relationship..."

As for me... I've bought land scheduled for wind towers in '12 or early '13-pays 3k/year rent per tower[inflation adjusted],8k/year in rent from the farmer and potentially has oil under it [in the Williston Basin]. I'm meeting a guy in January to build an apartment building...should make me 10k/year above the payments[paid off about the time my kids will inherit] and working at a start-up that will make SERIOUS coin...if it gets going. All while paying about 800/month in child support and 13k/year towards my son's tuition in college. It probably helps that my income is up about 40k/year since the divorce[on average].

Do you think I'd have the investments or more dinners out,a bigger house or any other thing her mind dream't up if she knew I had money while we were married?