Prenup problems

[guru1000]

I sometimes play a little roulette. There are a couple of even money bets available on the wheel. No way would I bet the family farm on a spin which had about a 50% chance.

Imagine walking into an auto dealer and negotiating to buy that hot softtop with all the options. Then just before you sign the saleman says , "Oh, by the way there is a 5O% chance that this car will explode in the first few years. "
Do you still drive it off the lot ?

I agree.

To make matters worse, she refuses to play ball. If he marries her now without a prenup, this marriage has a 99% chance of failure due to her hostile takeover of the context.

He MUST not sugarcoat the request. He SHOULD be direct, assertive and honest with his intent. If she continues to resist, walk away.

 

[backbreaker]

I wouldn't even trust a devout highly extreme conservative Christian life-going church saint of a prude woman to marriage without a pre-nup. I've seen it happen way too many times. 4 kids, heh, whatever, she'll Ruin your life, regardless. I saw a former church member attend our Thanksgiving dinner last week. Didn't even recognize him. His face was severely drained and ragged. Looked WAY older than I'd last saw him 2-3 years ago. She Ruined his life. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to him, it saddened me that much. Poor guy.

my mom goes to church about 3-4 nights a week, reads the bible every day for an hour a day.... got married when i was 21... has not lived in the same house as her husband since i was 24, and is now trying to get a divorce becuase she has "fallen out of love" and get his house./. that she hasn't lived in since i was 24.. as well as his lexus.. in the process.

I don't trust women in that regard. even momma.

 

[puma183]

How safe are pre-nups?

Read this recent story on the Wall Street Journal titled "The New Art of Alimony".

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703399204574505700448957522.html

Paul and Theresa Taylor were married for 17 years. He was an engineer for Boston's public-works department, while she worked in accounting at a publishing company. They had three children, a weekend cottage on the bay and a house in the suburbs, on a leafy street called Cranberry Lane. In 1982, when they got divorced, the split was amicable. She got the family home; he got the second home. Both agreed "to waive any right to past, present or future alimony."

But recently, more than two decades after the divorce, Ms. Taylor, 64, told a Massachusetts judge she had no job, retirement savings or health insurance. Earlier this year, the judge ordered Mr. Taylor, now 68 and remarried, to pay $400 per week to support his ex-wife.

"This is insane," Mr. Taylor says, adding that the payments cut his after-tax pension by more than one-third. "Someone can just come back 25 years later and say, 'My life went down the toilet, and you're doing good—so now I want some of your money'?"

If an actual 1982 *divorce agreement* and decree (signed by a judge no less) can be later overturned with new family court litigation, what do you think are the chances for your prenuptual agreement?

With the way family courts keep making up new rules saying "I do" is now like a curse and an open-ended liability that you can never get rid of.

It's like FREDDY KRUEGER from the Elm Street movies. No matter how much you think you killed it, you never know when it's going to come back.

1,2, freddy's coming for you
3,4 you better lock your door
5,6 grab your crucifix
7,8, stay up late
9, 10, never sleep again

 

[Nutz]

Someone posted this in the comments of the WSJ article. I'd say this is required reading if you're even casually interested in having kids or getting married one day:

http://www.amazon.com/Taken-into-Cu...dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

 

[speed dawg]

my mom goes to church about 3-4 nights a week, reads the bible every day for an hour a day.... got married when i was 21... has not lived in the same house as her husband since i was 24, and is now trying to get a divorce becuase she has "fallen out of love" and get his house./. that she hasn't lived in since i was 24.. as well as his lexus.. in the process.

I don't trust women in that regard. even momma.

Have you talked with her about this? I'd be interested in what her perspective and/or motivation is for this. Real life field report on this female greed divorce deal.

 

[speed dawg]

I think the point can be argued that if you're going into the marriage with trust issues, you shouldn't be getting married at all. A prenup is admitting failure whether or not you admit it or not. Where it gets confusing is that fact that ALL relationships are conditional, and if you have half a brain, realize that anything can happen, even though you don't want it to.

Of course, my pros of marriage are rooted in Christianity, which many on this board disagree with. I too, think basically taking your girlfriend and signing a legal contract with her is freaking stupid on many levels. But to me marriage is much more than that.

 

[backbreaker]

Have you talked with her about this? I'd be interested in what her perspective and/or motivation is for this. Real life field report on this female greed divorce deal.

my mom and I no longer talk.


she never did like him. that much i can tell you, just from a man's stand point.

she had been single from the tiem she divorced my dad, with a guy here or there, no one real serious until I got out the house. she was what... 40... still an above avg looking woman, had a 'good christan man' interested in her, with money, and settled.

but the attraction never was really there. she threated to not marry him a week before they got married becuase.. i forget exactly why. he pissed her off and she wanted her way about something, I forgot what. But she got her way and they got married.

my mom, although she is my mother, is a woman. I look at how my mom acted with this guy and how my mom acts with my dad. My dad could probably still cut if he wanted and they both know it. For my sake, my dad won't do that.

they got married and well.. he just.. is a wuss. It's the best way I can describe it. overweight, a chump. women settle for chumps, my mom included. The men ehe wants are out dating younger women.

 

[slaog]

When your friend's potential wife reacts in this way to a pre-nup (considering breaking up the relationship over it), what does it *really* say about her?

Her true colors have come out.

Would any one of you want to marry this type of girl?

Indeed. You'd probably expect her to get a little offended but to consider breaking it off it means she values the money more then the guy.

 

[backbreaker]

the problem here is that when this issue is brought up, it shows that the avg guy is AFC to the core.

Becuase the entire time you are thinking "hey, I hope I DON'T OFFEND HER" or ' I WONDER WHAT SHE WILL DO IF'

that is the AFC mindset by defintion instead of making her make a decision, and making her take your needs into consideration.

To say that I think that you don't love me, is only taking in ONE side of the arguement, hers, with little to no regard to how you feel about the situtation, and this is perfectly okay to the avg person.

yes, I understand where you are coming from, but hey, this is where I am coming from.

 

[speed dawg]

Hey SD: would you commit you life to ANYTHING involving a 50% fail rate?

No.

Main reason: Under my circumstances, for the reasons I want to get married, with a confident masculine man and a grounded woman, I'd bet the divorce rate is much lower. I have no figures to support that, but if the going rate is 50%, safe to assume that most of those consist of AFC men, golddigging women and premarital pregnancies. My assumption isn't too far off.

So I would commit my life to something around an 85-90% success rate.

 

[slaog]

No.

Main reason: Under my circumstances, for the reasons I want to get married, with a confident masculine man and a grounded woman, I'd bet the divorce rate is much lower. I have no figures to support that, but if the going rate is 50%, safe to assume that most of those consist of AFC men, golddigging women and premarital pregnancies. My assumption isn't too far off.

So I would commit my life to something around an 85-90% success rate.

Thats a good point.


Another thing about golddiggers is some men ask for it. They buy flashy cars etc and boast about their wealth so naturally attract golddiggers.