Prelude to my last post: Feel like crap.

[unlucky11]

I'm 27 years old and I started seeing a HB9 girl about 7 months ago. We became really close friends, but she had a boyfriend at the time. We would talk all night and for hours, and she even said that we talked more than her and her boyfriend did. I feel like she was the closest thing in my life. As common advice would have it, a girl whom cheated on her boyfriend to be with you is definitely not someone you would want a relationship with. But I want a relationship with her. The problem is that my emotions got involved and we got into 3 heated arguments, which took a toll on our friendship. It was never the same after that. She started doing these things like asking me to buy her alot of stuff. I took it as her being manipulative and taking of advantage of me so I told her and we parted ways. In hindsight, I should of just bought those things for her because it would of made her happy. She hated me more than anything, because I found out from her best friend that on several occasions she called her to say how much she hated me.

Any advice on how I could approach this? Thanks, I new to this forum and any advice or etiquette tips would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Hey man we've all been there. Trust me on the fact that you are lucky to be free from this b!tch. It is easy when you are head-over-heels about a girl not to see the ways that she is not only mistreating you, but also how truly she isn't worth much anyhow.

A girl whose happiness involves you purchasing things is not going to give you the quality relationship that you deserve for yourself.

You did nothing wrong by reaching out to her -- she clearly was throwing a drama fit and the friction is still there in her mind. If anything, just understand that likely having a healthy relationship with her would be very difficult. Unless you can put out of your mind your desire to be with her, or keep your interaction very sparse.

I can assure you that any continued interaction, and if you cannot keep yourself from "falling for her" are going to be childish and immature. It will be uphill the entire way.

Think of ways to improve your own life. Think of who you want to be and how you would like to get there. Work each day towards improving yourself in some manner or shape or form.

And one thing too to remember, is this chick knows you were into her, she threw her fit, *you must accept that she is not going to be a healthy relationship for you* -- but be forewarned that she may try to reach out to you when she is craving attention or bored. Be skeptical of her motives, she does not regard you highly in her mind, and again, just move on with life, do not beat yourself down into the mud (very easy to do).

There are lots of chicks all around you if you open your eyes.

 

[unlucky11]

Thanks for the great advice! Much appreciated. I have tried to move on by doing alot of the things that I once had time for like going to the gym, studying and getting my real estate license, etc.

But to clear things up, she never asked for alot before but after I started an argument with her because of my emotions. She started acting differently, more cold, and I think her pushing me to buy her stuff was her way of distancing herself or giving me a clear signal that she wasn't interested by being difficult. Either way, your right, I should move on.

Thanks.

 

[jophil28]

I'm 27 years old and I started seeing a HB9 girl about 7 months ago. We became really close friends, but she had a boyfriend at the time. We would talk all night and for hours, and she even said that we talked more than her and her boyfriend did. I feel like she was the closest thing in my life.

So another man's G/f is " ..the closest thing in my life.."
Man you are in all kinds of trouble here.

I believe it was the mighty RT who once said ," IF you are not Fukking her, you are her girlfriend. "

FOr pete's sake quit being the dancing monkey for this woman.

 

[zekko]

I'm 27 years old and I started seeing a HB9 girl about 7 months ago.

Ever notice how practically every guy who comes on here saying he is seeing a HB9 is frigging miserable? I'm beginning to think that dating an HB9 = being miserable. It's like dating the devil. Unless you're just using her for sex, I suppose.

OP, listen to Buddha and Jophil, they gave you good advice. And stick around the forum for awhile, I bet you pick up a thing or two you might find useful.

 

[Colossus]

Ever notice how practically every guy who comes on here saying he is seeing a HB9 is frigging miserable? I'm beginning to think that dating an HB9 = being miserable. It's like dating the devil. Unless you're just using her for sex, I suppose.

Good point. I dont think Ive ever seen a post from a guy saying how happy he is with his HB9. Then again, why would you seek out sosuave if things were great??

I also think guys tend to inflate the hotness of their girl. Ive heard a lot of guys claim their girl is an 8 or 9 and she isnt even close. The rating scale is kinda subjective but I think most men can agree that a 9 is a 9.

http://thechive.com/2010/11/19/this...anonymous-hotties-21-photos/find-this-girl-2/

http://thechive.com/2010/11/15/thes...from-chivers-last-week-27-photos/find-her-25/

JMO...

 

[jophil28]

She started doing these things like asking me to buy her alot of stuff. I took it as her being manipulative and taking of advantage of me so I told her and we parted ways. In hindsight, I should of just bought those things for her because it would of made her happy. .

Yes, you are right, it would have made her happy, BUT it would also have made you her slave from then on.

So the natural progression would then have been for even more demands by her for you to buy her more "stuff" , and more supplication by you to keep her "happy".
A few months down the road, when she has all the "stuff" that she can use, she will also have lost any respect for you because you are a pushover, and so she LJBF's you.

You end up bewildered, angry AND broke.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Look there is nothing wrong with gifts at appropriate timings in the proper frame. But buying a woman things to maintain her happiness is going to end in you being douched around and dropped.

I agree that HB9's are hard to keep up with; a lot of this is because the average super fox who reads cosmo magazine is likely hit on 1000x a day and to maintain her IL is difficult. She may not be concerned with the quality of your heart.

I am finding that its better to go for cute girls who are modest in their ego, maybe even some who haven't been loaded with princess praise their entire lives...down-to-earth girls. Screw this chick, take everyone's advice. Delete her number and move on.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

I see red flags with this woman. Leave her alone.

 

[unlucky11]

Thanks for all the advice. I agree with buddha, gifts can show how much you care without words therefore being less of a pushover from my experience.