Potential FWB - Need advice on how to initiate

[dj trainee]

My friends,

It's been a while since I posted here as I've usually found what I wanted via search... but alas, I've come across a situation that requires your expertise once again. I'll start off by saying I'm a 27 year old single male who's happy to stay single for a few years and have some fun. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a total newbie to picking up and the game... I generally know how to get into serious relationships but not how to pick up for a ONS or setting up a FWB (friends with benefits) situation.

I have a cute, single female friend a couple of years younger that I've known for quite some time. We've never been that close but when we catch up, there's no secrets as we're in different social circles, so I know about her relationships and she knows about mine. We'd meet up for a drink or meal a few times a year. Now we've always flirted harmlessly since way back, but now that I've been single for about 6 months, I've made the flirting less subtle such as saying she looks hot tonight and saying a few cheeky/sexually suggestive things and she has not shyed away from it... and plays along with it... although she is hard to read cos she's the seemingly "innocent" type.

So about once a month we'd hang out with each other one on one on a Friday or Saturday night if we had no plans. We'd call each other randomly and just set something up. Started off with dinner... then the last time it was dinner and then drinks and then hanging out at my place for a few hours. Just to make my intentions clear, I've told her a few times I'm not getting into any relationships for a while.

Anyways, at some point before the last meeting, we were txting each other and got onto the topic of me giving her a 'private show' (sorry that sounds lame!) as I mentioned I've been on a particular diet and training program to lean up for my sports season, and she was interested in seeing the results. So the last time she was at my place, she was like "so... you owe me a private show..." and I must admit, I kinda got quite nervous there and kind of aluded it cos I wasn't sure if she was just joking or not and I suppose I was afraid of getting embarassed if I was wrong... :nervous:

So I have another dinner date with her this week...and she brought up the 'private show' again so... she's also been stressed and I said hopefully I can help her relieve some of that stress and give her a special private show... She said she's looking forward to it. So this time I don't want to mess up this opportunity! My mate thinks it's quite hard to muck this one up but said to make sure she knows what the arrangement is.

The thing that confuses me the most is that she's the 'innocent type' and while she smiles a lot around me, she sometimes looks away shyly and plays with her hair a lot. So just wondering guys, how to best play this out? Have never really been in this situation but would love a FWB for once in my life. I don't want her thinking I want a relationship, hence why I've said it in a conversation a few times when we were talking relationships... As much as the man downstairs tells me that I should 'just do it', I wouldn't want her to sleep with me unless she understood it was just a FWB situation. I don't really risk losing the friendship as we're not close friends or anything, but obviously I still care about a girl's feelings and don't want to be a bastard about it.

Thank you and apologies for my newbieness!

 

[sosocool]

There is something I read in your post. It's that your friend (the one you're trying to bonk) smiles and flirts with you and makes comments like "so... you owe me a private show...". You said she's just playing along. Do you think she's "playing along" or do you think there is a hint of attraction there? Be honest.

 

[Captain]

You have to make a move on her, stop beating around the bush.

Get her over your place and initiate things.

If you just want to be FWB, really limit your time together, and don't get into a dating relationship. It's not a relationship until you say it is.

 

[dj trainee]

sosocool: Good question, probably didn't explain it to well, but I believe there is mutual attraction from the body language, and by playing along she flirts back or gives a compliment back. Was with some friends once and I bumped into her... My friends were pretty much saying she's sorta throwing herself at me and wouldn't believe me when I said there's nothing going on. Funnily enough the guys were saying she's cute, but a female friend of mine who was with me at the time was like "nahhh she's alright...... she's not your type anyway... that's not your type..." LOL... women are such strange creatures.

Captain: Thanks for the advice buddy It's the initiating part that I need some help with, not too sure the best way to do it? And so do the deed, then later on remind her I'm not looking for a relationship correct? I think we limit the time we spend with each other as is, seeing as it's really only once every month or two months. Contact is quite limited so I suppose there is already somewhat of an agreement. Whenever we've asked to hang out with each other's friends, we've always politely refused each other.

 

[Captain]

It's the initiating part that I need some help with, not too sure the best way to do it?

Start off with casual touching, then when you're alone together, she's comfortable, and giving you signs of interest, go in for the kiss. Keep kissing her, work your way down, spend lots of time on foreplay.

then later on remind her I'm not looking for a relationship correct?

You don't really need to, just act like it. Limit your time together, make iot obvious you are dating other women (even if you aren't.)

I think we limit the time we spend with each other as is, seeing as it's really only once every month or two months. Contact is quite limited so I suppose there is already somewhat of an agreement. Whenever we've asked to hang out with each other's friends, we've always politely refused each other.

That seems fine, don't go changing it if you just want to be FWB.

 

[dj trainee]

Thanks captain :yes: great ideas man. Almost seems obvious, but I just didn't think of it like that... LOL...

Now i'm thinking to start with a massage to help relieve her stress... which is the easy part and then maybe go in for a kiss on the neck, or is that going in too strong? :crazy:

Thanks again buddy.

 

[Captain]

That's fine.

Play around with her, tell her to give you a massage, too.

Remember to take two steps forward, then one back, to make her anticipate and want what's coming next.