Potential date tonight..How to proceed with this response?

[Lostsoul85]

I have a date in less than 2 hours don't want to make a wrong ethical decision

A couple weeks ago i received a voicemail from the doctors office that i have type 1 oral herpes.I don't really notice any blisters on my mouth.

Anyways i received this message a couple days after i went out with this 37 year old IT indian lady.At the end of the date although i didn't make out with her we eschanged a pec on the lips.It wasn't till a couple days later till i found had this.Since,then besides texting we haven't met up.I also haven't brought up anything about it yet.She asked me out today and i am not sure how to handle this.Because if i tell her i have it would look like i waited for her to reach out for me to say something instead of me bringing it up on my own.We will be meeting up tonight.

As far as trying to kiss her again don't think that would be a good idea.I don't have a perscription yet even though for the most part i don't have alot of symptoms.

Should i even bring this up since i have remained silent for a couple weeks after that pec exhange and getting the msg from the doc a couple days later?

Also don't want a lawsuit

This is a tricky situation

Also
Her:Hey Handsome
Me:Hey
Hero you want to hang out tonight?
Me:Where were you planning to take me?
Her:Movies?Dinner?
Me:movies sounds cool
HerHobbit?

Honestly i don't even feel like going on one of these dates.We already been on one.

Should i just text her "Netflix and wine sounds better(at her place)"

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you have a cold sore, then consider yourself contagious. If you don't have a sore, then there is no problem. The majority of people test positive for HSV1. You're not a leper; you're just normal.

 

[Lostsoul85]

@Bible belt
You are saying there is no reason to bring this up to her tonight after that pec on the lips couple week ago?

Also read the text convo she sent me above.

It sounds like she is inviting me,so she pays?

Honestly, i don't care too much for the movies and dinner thing if i am the one paying.Id rather go to her place and watch a movie there.i tried to go to ask her to go to her place after the first date without success.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Her:What do you think of coming over to my place after?

I have been thinking of you

Me:No response in the past 20 mins

Hererhaps not?

Whats a good message to send her?

Not sure i she is trying to test my frame and see if im looking for sex

 

[Lostsoul85]

Her: Did i shock you so much that you would rather not go watch the movie with me?I am sorry if i did so

This is all after 30 mins of not replying

Do you guys detect a psychopath if i try to **** her

What should my next reply be if i don't want to see that movie but would rather just go over there since she hinted at this above.

 

[dk1990S111]

Seems pretty obvious to me but if that's not what you want to do then just tell her what you want to do. She is there to make you happy not the other way around.

She does seem a little crazy/low self esteem though imo

 

[djthiago1]

Either low self esteem or her IL is so high that she's afraid of fvcking something up.

 

[:-)]

Do you guys detect a psychopath if i try to **** her

.

A woman shows low interest and she's an AW or waste of time.
A woman shows high IL and she gets called a psycho.
Interesting.

 

[Lostsoul85]

As far as the oral herpes thing...

I dont have any blisters on my mouth

And i didn't say anything last time after i pecked her couple days before i found out i had it..

Don't mention anything about herpes?

 

[Lostsoul85]

As far as the oral herpes thing...

I dont' have any blisters on my mouth right now

Not sure if i even ever had them

But the docs said i did have type 1 but not type 2

I don't want to infect anyone

And i didn't say anything last time after i pecked her couple days before i found out i had it..

Don't mention anything about the herpes?

 

[Jaylan]

Id want to know if some chick I was seeing had oral herpes. Im clean, have never had either form of herpes or any STD...so I wouldnt want to catch anything.

I dont give a damn if its common in other people...nor do I care if you can take your meds to suppress outbreaks. Thats something I dont want to deal with, and if a chick lied to me and kept that from me, she'd be dumped on the spot and I dunno how I could contain my anger.

My health is that important to me. The thing is that HSV 1 and HSV 2 can happen on either the mouth or genitals, even if they are both more common to one region. I dont wanna have to worry about that or outbreaks.

Ive been clean all my life...and its damn selfish to lie to someone and potentially transmit that to them.

I advocate being upfront...as she might have cold sores herself. Then its no biggie. And heck, many people do see cold sores as no biggie whether they have them or not. However, you dont get to make health decisions for other people.

And if you feel its ok to keep this from her, remember you reap what you sow. I personally dont do to people what I wouldnt want done to me.

Simply say "hey, I like chilling with you and wanna be upfront. I found out from the doc I have cold sores. How do you feel about that?". Im thinking it wont be an issue. Most people are not like me when it comes to HSV 1

 

[Lostsoul85]

I will be going over to her place at 8.

Like i mentioned I gave her a pec couple weeks ago just a few days before i found out i have type 1 oral herpes

I don't have any cold sores on my lips.

I read online that you can Shed the virus without a present cold sore.

I would feel guilty if i passed it on to her.

What's the best thing to do?

 

[Lostsoul85]

i can do this...

Only problem is last time i gave her a pec on the lips alth

I wasn't planning on ever reaching out to her

Shes the one who reached out to me and asked me to
Come over

If i tell her tonight

Can't she think like you were never gonna tell me until I reached out to you and would have never mentioned it and went your own way if we continued not seeing other.

I am going to sue you

This is my biggest fear

Id want to know if some chick I was seeing had oral herpes. Im clean, have never had either form of herpes or any STD...so I wouldnt want to catch anything.

I dont give a damn if its common in other people...nor do I care if you can take your meds to suppress outbreaks. Thats something I dont want to deal with, and if a chick lied to me and kept that from me, she'd be dumped on the spot and I dunno how I could contain my anger.

My health is that important to me. The thing is that HSV 1 and HSV 2 can happen on either the mouth or genitals, even if they are both more common to one region. I dont wanna have to worry about that or outbreaks.

Ive been clean all my life...and its damn selfish to lie to someone and potentially transmit that to them.

I advocate being upfront...as she might have cold sores herself. Then its no biggie. And heck, many people do see cold sores as no biggie whether they have them or not. However, you dont get to make health decisions for other people.

And if you feel its ok to keep this from her, remember you reap what you sow. I personally dont do to people what I wouldnt want done to me.

Simply say "hey, I like chilling with you and wanna be upfront. I found out from the doc I have cold sores. How do you feel about that?". Im thinking it wont be an issue. Most people are not like me when it comes to HSV 1

 

[Lostsoul85]

Can i be sued in this situation?


i can do this...

Only problem is last time i gave her a pec i didn't full out makeout with her.

this was about 4 weeks ago

then a few days later i just got the message from the doctor
I wasn't planning on ever reaching out to her


Shes the one who reached out to me and asked me to
Come over tonight after about 3 weeks of not seeing each other.

If i tell her tonight

Can't she think like you were never gonna tell me until I reached out to you and would have never mentioned it and went your own way if we continued not seeing other.

I am going to sue you

This is my biggest fear

Id want to know if some chick I was seeing had oral herpes. Im clean, have never had either form of herpes or any STD...so I wouldnt want to catch anything.

I dont give a damn if its common in other people...nor do I care if you can take your meds to suppress outbreaks. Thats something I dont want to deal with, and if a chick lied to me and kept that from me, she'd be dumped on the spot and I dunno how I could contain my anger.

My health is that important to me. The thing is that HSV 1 and HSV 2 can happen on either the mouth or genitals, even if they are both more common to one region. I dont wanna have to worry about that or outbreaks.

Ive been clean all my life...and its damn selfish to lie to someone and potentially transmit that to them.

I advocate being upfront...as she might have cold sores herself. Then its no biggie. And heck, many people do see cold sores as no biggie whether they have them or not. However, you dont get to make health decisions for other people.

And if you feel its ok to keep this from her, remember you reap what you sow. I personally dont do to people what I wouldnt want done to me.

Simply say "hey, I like chilling with you and wanna be upfront. I found out from the doc I have cold sores. How do you feel about that?". Im thinking it wont be an issue. Most people are not like me when it comes to HSV 1

 

[Lostsoul85]

Bump

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I use to get them all time in my early 20s. Abreva works the best. I don't get how it works but my most recent test said I was in the clear?? I haven't had 1 in many many years.

My exwf & my most recent ex would get them in the winter all the time with a cold. Sh*tty immune systems I suppose. Don't kiss when they have an outbreak! Pretty simple.

My exwf might have given 1 to me, I don't remember long time ago. Most recent ex never gave me 1, just avoid kissing during an outbreak.

If it bothers you that much just man up & tell her. Hey, I ocassionaly get cold sores have you ever had 1?

 

[Bible_Belt]

The tests for herpes are complete bullsh!t. They test your blood to see if the antibodies to the virus are present. If you have antibodies, they say you are "positive" for herpes. All of it's designed to sell you medication you don't need.

The majority of people will test positive for HSV1, but look around the next time you are in public and see how many cold sores you see.

HSV1 is possible in the genital area, but something like 99% of people never have another outbreak after the initial one. The rest who do are typically immunodeficient for some other reason, like having AIDS or some other disease that compromises their immune system.