Post your first approaching experience

[tom121]

Seems there are lot of approaching experience, but I hardly see any "first time approaching" stories so here's mine




I think it was around Feb 2004

so I was at this bus station, I was there waiting for about 5 minutes (the bus comes every 30 minutes.) then a "8.5" Japanese girl came to the same stop I am in, she sit on the side, I was on the far side of her.

Then the mind of mine start playing tricks on me!! I start thinking about what to do, what she is going to say, about 5 minutes later of mumbling in my mind. My legs start walking toward her, I started saying "hi where are you from"


because we both are asians so I couldn't tell where she was from, she told me she came from japan (japanese girls are cute and hot ) so anyway after we talk to each other for about 10 minutes, I got to know her she is one years older than me, in college (I was in high school at that time) and it was her birthday that day


then the bus came, I let her go first so I have a chance to sit next to her (and being a gentleman ) so we were sitting next to each other, I noticed she moved away a bit while we were chatting bad sign you say right?


I asked her where is she getting off. I couldn't believe what am I hearing, she lives in this condo area next to my condo area!! I thought of "yes I could have a chance of a close girlfriend live nearby"


so anyway we got off the bus, I didn't want to end our day quickly so I asked if she was having a birthday party, she said yes but only having it with her host family (they didn't want people to come to their house since it doesn't belong to her)


I waited at her door, she went in to talk to her host family if I could join her. she came out couple minutes later said she is not sure but will get my phone number so I gave it to her. I walked home in disappointment, we were planning to celebrate her birthday and go watch a movie


an hour later, she called me, she told me she has to prepare her package (she was leaving to another city far away for couple days - she told me this before while we were on the bus) I wished her have a good enjoyable study experience in Canada and hope her have fun in Japan over the phone


A month later, I asked a friend of mine (who lives in the same condo area as her) if he sees a japanese girl lately in the house she is living in. he said yes and I asked him specifically "LATELY" meaning if she was around at that time, a "yes I am sure"


I felt like I was lied/played to, I didn't want to go find her again since I forgot what her name is (it's in Janpanese and long too) plus she should've called me, never a time since she left.




and after that I haven't approach a total stranger

I am scarred for life now

 

[Drowning]

::WUSSYSLAP!!!!!::: Get the fvck over it, dude. You did good just approaching, but you probably just were too AFC at the time. You're still too AFC. Read the fvcking bible, get some C+F going, and approach fifty...NAY!...A HUNDRED MORE HOT CHICKS!! Don't give up! Who cares if this bltch didn't call you back? There are three billion more on the face of this planet. They're a dime a fvcking dozen, man.

As for my first approach, I can't even remember. Most were utter failures like the one you just described. But as you bltchslap your inner AFC and put it in its place, they tend to call back more. My latest approaches got me a hookup and a girl "friend" who has many other hot, sexy friends she's going to introduce me to.

Look man, a couple years ago I would have fvcking cried if a girl ditched me like that. Fvcking CRIED. This was before I found this site, of course. II still need more improvement myself, but things have gotten so much better for me. Even in the first couple months after taking on the DJ philosophy I noticed improvement. I was once like you, but I have started coming out of my AFC shell. Read the Bible, son! It will be OKAY!! I promise!

 

[tom121]

i read the bible all the time

I just can't get through the shy side of me

 

[Porky]

I went to a party, I was already pretty wasted. I must have talked to this sober girl for a good 20 or 30 minutes, I think. She was definitely into the conversation, we had a lot in common and I was able to keep her interested despite my intoxication.

I got freaked out at the end because I realized she looked exactly like my old chemistry teacher. Pretty, but freaky nevertheless. I didn't bother to get the number after that.

 

[Desdinova]

Okay, here's mine. It was around September 2001. I was at a bar, and I noticed this girl sitting all by herself. Not a bad looking woman, so I decided to try out what I was learning from this site and getgirls.com.

I approached her and immediately opened up with "Why aren't you out there having a good time?" The conversation took off from there. She was all sad and 5hit from her breakup. She left the bar, and I didn't number close.

Here's where I turned AFC in an effort to fix my mistake. I realized what a fvcking idiot I was for not getting the number. I ran out to my car, and drove to the bus stop where she was waiting. I offered her a ride home and she was like, "I hardly know you!" Needless to say, she took me up on the ride. I drove her home and asked to exchange numbers (I wasn't ready to ask for her number only). She reminded me that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and I said, "That's fine".

I was surprised when she called the next day. We talked a lot on the phone and became very good friends.

Sounds like I really fvcked it up, right?

Over the next 9 months, I began approaching other women, successfully getting dates, and developed my game really well. I stayed in touch with my chick friend, but I began telling her about the other women I was dating. I also began using her for "practice". I began using kino on her, and she responded really well. I also noticed her kino was getting a bit more flirty, but I just shrugged it off. After all, she rejected me 9 months ago.

I took her out to the bar one night to have some fun. A slow song came on, and she asked me to dance. We went up on the dance floor, and she was looking into my eyes and holding me tighter. Again, I really didn't think nothing of it.

I drove her home. As we sat in the car, she told me, "When we were dancing, I got a feeling I haven't had in a long time. I really wanted to kiss you". I just sat there and listened to her. She said, "Can I kiss you?" I leaned in, and gave her a kiss. We began dating after that.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

there was a girl at my school, we both knew of each other but had never talked to each other at all.


(this was about 2 months ago)


after 3 weeks of wanting to aproch her, my feeling bad for not doing it caught up with my fear of doing it.

I walked up to where there girl was sitting with 2 freinds, and said hi to her. Infact i said very little to her because she was shy and her freind stole the conversation away from her so i ended up talking to her freind for aobut 2 minutes.

Then comes a quite moment and they turn to talk to each other. Being my first approch that made me flea with out even saying bye, just walked off, because my biggest fear seems to be the girls ignoring me. Which has never happened to me, because whenthere are 3 girls sitting there with out much to do and a half decent looking guy comes along all there attention goes to him in that case me. you just got to keep the conversation going.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Me and my friends see an Hb9 or something, in a little black dress, the ones you see on television when people go to formal dinners, etc. Anyways one friend had a couple relatives that don't hang around us kickin it with him so I felt like I had to prove myself. Anyways somebody dares me to approach her for five dollars, and after very little thinking I start walking towards her. She sees me coming and looks down or away, I can't remember. I do remember not knowing what to say and walking by her, and standing behind her (very stalker-esque) I finally worked up the courage to talk to her and asked her something about the bus schedule or catching a cab, and the first words outta her mouth were "I'm waiting for my boyfriend" lol

Ah well, it was worth the five dollars (wait a minute, them fools still aint paid me ) But going home, the sense of pride I had, and astonishment from my friend was something I won't forget. Makes you wanna approach non-stop, once you realise how easy and not-nerve-racking it is.

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by Drowning
::WUSSYSLAP!!!!!::: Get the fvck over it, dude. You did good just approaching, but you probably just were too AFC at the time. You're still too AFC. Read the fvcking bible, get some C+F going, and approach fifty...NAY!...A HUNDRED MORE HOT CHICKS!! Don't give up! Who cares if this bltch didn't call you back? There are three billion more on the face of this planet. They're a dime a fvcking dozen, man.

As for my first approach, I can't even remember. Most were utter failures like the one you just described. But as you bltchslap your inner AFC and put it in its place, they tend to call back more. My latest approaches got me a hookup and a girl "friend" who has many other hot, sexy friends she's going to introduce me to.

Look man, a couple years ago I would have fvcking cried if a girl ditched me like that. Fvcking CRIED. This was before I found this site, of course. II still need more improvement myself, but things have gotten so much better for me. Even in the first couple months after taking on the DJ philosophy I noticed improvement. I was once like you, but I have started coming out of my AFC shell. Read the Bible, son! It will be OKAY!! I promise!

3 billion of them out of how many of them that are in third world areas ?
just say many cause im sure that no one would go after the many women who are half starved to death in 3rd world countries

 

[seize_the_pattern]

My first concious cold approach since Ive been into this material was like 3 months ago. What I did was tap a girl on her arm and say that Im doing this excersise to just introduce myself and thank her for her cooperation. Her response: "Well then I guess you should do that kind of stuff" you know whit this "yeah whatever dude attitude". That didnt feel all that smooth so I tried just saying my name to a girl a week later. She smiled, shook my hand and told me her name back. Then I was like: "yeah well euh... that's it (in a very nervous way)". That's when she actually started freaking out hahaha. Oh well I guess there's already some kind of progress in these two approaches so that should be allright. Well the next cold approach was a complete disaster. I was sitting at this bar with some friends of mine, a girl starts ordering ordering drinks in a loud voice.
So I went: "OK ... loud voice -> ****y and funny about her annoying voice". Now that didnt really go well I have to say haha. I guess it doesnt take much imagination to see me giving that girl **** about her voice without prolly even the slightest bit of saying this in the fun way.

Oh well. The reason why im not keeping this up is that I had to dive into my studies first because I kindof let that slack. Im still into my studies basically (still a bunch of damage to make up for). Anyway, next saturday me and a friend of mine made a deal that each of us were going to do 5 cold approaches under eachothers supervision before the week ends. Next saturdaynight is the night were we're going somewhere no one knows us hahaha. Seriously though!

 

[Ever onward]

Here are my first 2 approaches as I posted in my original Boot Camp experience, enjoy!

Week 2, Day 3

I got my first rejection yesterday. I had to return the pants I bought, they didn't fit so good. The girl at the returns desk was extremely hot. She was about 5'10", 19, long brown hair, a total wet dream. Normally I wouldn't even bother talking to her but things are changing....

The whole time she was giving me a refund I busted on her and played with her. I had her smiling the whole time. She handed me the copy of the reciept back and said "thank you, have a nice day" But I forced myself to take action for once in my life. I flipped the reciept over on the counter, grabbed a pen, and said "give me your phone number"

she said "no, I have a boyfriend"

I said "okay, no problem" and left.

That was the first time in my life I ever asked for a girls phone number. I know I should just be getting conversations this week but I am getting impatient. I felt good afterwards anyways.
It's like Seraph said in his Bootcamp journal, the hardest part isn't being rejected, it's that moment before you take action. The second you have to push yourself over the hump.

So anyways, I've been getting a few hi's in today around campus. Nothing to write home about. But then I left campus and went to subway. As I got out of my car, a hottie pulled up right next to me and got out. I was hoping she would go into subway and I could get a convo going but she went next door. I didn't even say hi. So I was a little dissappointed that I choked.

I was driving home, and wolfing down my subway sandwhich and I saw this really hot girl jogging down the road. I thought, okay, this is it, I'm going for it. I turned off ahead of her, turned around, and pulled back to the stop sign at the corner. She came jogging by and I waved at her. She waved back and went on jogging by. I pulled out and drove up the road about a half a block, and I pulled in a parking lot.

I got out of my car and walked up to her as she was jogging towards me. She saw me coming....lol. She slowed to a walk as I came up to her. This is how the conversation went....

me: I was just driving by and I saw you, you're kind of cute. Can I have your number?

her: No....but thanks, you're really sweet, I am so flattered. What's your name?

me: Ever onward

her: what do you do?

me: I work at such and such and I go to college

her: oh....okay you can have my number....

I told her I couldn't memorize it so I went to my car and got a pen and my planner out of my back pack. I went back over to her, handed her my planner and she wrote down her number.

She said: "call me in a few days, we'll go for coffee or something."

me: okay, have fun jogging, you look good.....

LOL

Okay, I know I should just be getting conversations here but dammit I can't help myself......I feel like a door has been opened that I've been trying to get through my whole life. two days ago I had never asked for a number in my life and now I've asked twice with a 50% success ratio.

Alright, from now on I'll try not to ask every girl out in sight. I'll concentrate on the conversations.

This is amazing. For the first time in forever, I feel like I'm in control of my own life. I am finally becoming the man I've always wanted to be.

 

[Pugsley_f5]

AWWW desdinova you sweetheart!!!!

 

[tom121]

sorry to bump back this thread, I want to see more first time approaching experience

 

[Matt Rogers]

lol. My first time was when I went up to a girl in a bar and said "So are you er enjoying the band" in a really scared voice, stuttering all the way and going red. She said "yes, my housemates playing the drums" I was about to throw up so I said "I have to get back to my friends. Give me your phone number so we can continue this conversation sometime" She said she had a boyfriend but if she was single she would have given her number to me. I ordered my drink while avoiding eye contact and hoping the ground would swallow me up. When I left she touched my arm, smiled at me and said thanks.

My point is that even though i was scared as hell most girls will take it as a compliment and admire your courage for doing something which is obviously so hard for you. I have rarely had girls be *****y to me during approaches, or at least nothing i cannot handle.

After a while you develop scar tissue such that you can start a conversation with a girl without any nerves at all. But to get to that stage you have to approach a helluva lot of girls.

tom121, don't be put off by your first approach failure. some girls will like you, some won't. don't take it personally. just approach more girls and some will say yes.

Doc love says that out of 30 girls whose number you ask for around 10 will say yes, of which only 3 are actually interested. While i would dispute those numbers, it does mean that you have to approach a lot of girls to find ones that actually care, so get used to rejection and don't take it personally.

 

[milkman]

Originally posted by Ever onward
she said "no, I have a boyfriend"

Is he a bodybuilder and martial arts pro?...hmm, give me your number anyway. Maybe you can cook for me sometimes and intriduce me to all your hot single friends.

[and move the paper a bit closer to her and look like you are 100% sure she will give you her number. Actually, imagine you would be a cashier at Walmarts and she has paid by card and now has to sign in.]


..and to your approach: good work!

 

[tom121]

"Maybe you can cook for me sometimes and intriduce me to all your hot single friends. "

ahah that was priceless

 

[So Many Ways]

I don't remember when my first cold approach was, I think I was either 19 or 20 years old at the time, sometime around 1994, or 95. I was at the Orange County fair and I won some prize of some sort, maybe a stuffed animal. I felt like a fool carrying this thing around so I saw this shorty walking by and I approached her, gave her my stuffed animal, then I asked her for her phone number. She gave me the "why don't you give me your number instead I promise I'll call you..." line. Of course she never called. It was nerve racking to say the least.

 

[DJ naruto]

Dang this thread brings back some good memories

I've not really posted any of my cold approaches so this'll be the first of hopefully many to come.

First let me set the stage for you guys to understand the mentality I was in back in High School.

I went to an all boys high school in NY where cold approaching or cold hooking up of friends was the craze (I guess thats what happens when testosterone driven boys are placed in the same building .) We would go out as a pack, hang out in malls, and
approach chicks sometimes for ourselves if they were beautiful, and for our friends-- to their horror-- if the girls where UG's (cold hookups). One time, I had a friend hide behind a trash can, when I went to set him up ( after warnin him with the go phrase "I'm gonna hook u up") with a decent looking hispanic chick, probably in her mid twenties... But thats an entirely different story... So now to the juicy stuff...

I'm cracking jokes with my friend ( a classmate ) in the subway station, waitin for the train in the downstairs section right beside the stairway, so we could see who was upstairs (by the stairs at least.) A hb4-- I'm being generous here because i don't really remember her-- was leaning at the top of the railin lookin down, not at us particularly. Anyways, I tell my friend to go talk to her, and he in turn dares me to talk to her. I couldn't turn down a dare like that so I went up the stairs and did a frigid approach (frigid cause my mind was blank; I went straight back to the ice ages.) As I was walkin towards her my heart started to pound ridicously fast, but i forced myself onwards. I was so unprepared that I couldn't think of anything smart to say . Anyways, I move close to her and said "hey hows it going." I asked her name, and she said blah blah blah. All this while my heart is racing, and I'm certain she could hear it in my speech, but who cares. We talk blah, blah blah... I finally ask her for her number, and she tells me she can't gimme the number because she lives with her uncle, and that he doesn't like it when guys call her. I didn't press her any further because 1) i did this only because of a dare and wasn't that interested in her and 2) she might have been tellin the truth (or not .) Anyways as i turned to leave and she asked for mine. I gave it to her and went back to my friend. Do you think she called me? Yes! Boy was I suprised. She called out of the blue about two weeks or so lata. And I screwed up royally . Since I was caught of guard I was in my best AFC form ever, and I had forgotten her name . Lol... nothin materialized from this (how could all my splendid AFC moves not ensnare her ...hahaha)

Thats the story... and yeah, I'm still an AFC tryin to evolve into a DJ...

Good thread tom121. keep em comin guys...