Post 55 Online Dating

[DJ Novice]

Hello forum members

I just thought I’d share my experiences with online dating as an older guy (I’m 56, divorced and been OLD since May 2023). I think I’m around a 6 - 7/10 (everyone thinks I’m a lot younger than my age, have been told my women friends I’m good looking, I’m very slim, not jacked but hit the gym which looks good on a slim frame, financially secure, own my apartment, make six figure income, can talk to women very easily online and in person, red pill aware, enjoy living by myself and have zero intention of ever living with a woman again, my kids don’t live with me). My life is good with or without a woman.

I’m cautious about making generalisations - these are just my observations just based on my own experiences.

Guys, the competition is fierce for women in my age group (I’m only interested in women around my own age, each to their own!). I would not like to be a younger guy solely relying on OLD.

The women I’ve been matched with have told me they are getting hit up by multiple guys of all ages (including much younger guys who are good looking). By multiple I mean 100+ in some cases. And while I only try and go for women who are around a 6-7/10, I can attest that the ones I go for in some cases look better than other much younger women. Genetics can be cruel and a lot of women don’t age well past 40.

My rejection rate is very high. I think I’ve reached out to 100+ women. And been rejected by women lower than a 6/10 in many cases.

My odds improved when I got a professional photographer to take my profile photos and took time to write a long and I think interesting profile.

Happy to share my experiences or answer any questions. I’d also like to hear from any forum members in my age group with any advice/tips of their own.

As my username suggests, I’m just starting out and am no expert.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Welcome to the forum. Your experience mirrors that of many men in your age group.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Welcome to the forum. Your experience mirrors that of many men in your age group.

actually, it mirrors that of many men in many age groups. welcome to hole-flation.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP I recommend looking for younger women (40-55) who are more mature as they have higher sex drives and less money on average than your targeted age range.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP I recommend looking for younger women who are more mature.

IMO, millennial women have many more issues than a Gen X woman does. If a dude is attracted to women in his age group, he should rock with it. Frankly, there are still unicorn Gen X gals, right out of marriage, widowed, or sheltered (and low count). You'd be hard-pressed to find that in the millennial crowd.

 

[SW15]

millennial women have many more issues than a Gen X woman does....You'd be hard-pressed to find that in the millennial crowd.

Dating Millennial women is a bigger pain than dating Gen X women based on attitudes. The oldest Millennials right now are 40-43 (1981-1984 births). @DJ Novice is still more likely to date a Gen X'er born in the 1970s.

The women I’ve been matched with have told me they are getting hit up by multiple guys of all ages (including much younger guys who are good looking). By multiple I mean 100+ in some cases.

My rejection rate is very high. I think I’ve reached out to 100+ women. And been rejected by women lower than a 6/10 in many cases.

Your experience mirrors that of many men in your age group.

It's insane that there is that much competition for 50-55 year old women.

If a better than average 55-56 year old man is struggling to attract 50-55 year old women with swipe apps and online dating websites (possible he's using Match and OurTime as websites), that's a real problem.

I think @DJ Novice would be better off trying to meet women through real life methods.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

What constitutes struggling? I have a steady rotation and have sex on average six times a week, sometimes much more, defined as P in V with one woman. Would I like all of them to be 100% of what I'd like in a GF? Yes, I would, but I'll fiddle while Rome burns...

 

[Michael Chief]

Start a journal to log your progress. I want to read the hell out of that.

 

[The Duke]

@DJ Novice are you looking for casual hookups or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship minded stuff? Are post 55 women down with casual hookups?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

? Are post 55 women down with casual hookups?

IME most over 50 women will stick around is the schmex is good enough, without pursuing the DTR conversation, mostly because they don’t want to disturb a good groove.

 

[SW15]

When 2 people who are 50+ start dating, both partners often have sets of adult children who will either silently resent each other or be openly hostile to each other. The more common tactic is the silent resentment. Holiday gatherings become rather uncomfortable for all parties.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

When 2 people who are 50+ start dating, both partners often have sets of adult children who will either silently resent each other or be openly hostile to each other. The more common tactic is the silent resentment. Holiday gatherings become rather uncomfortable for all parties.

Is this your personal experience?

IME: Usually the kids are in their 20’s and 30’s frankly they don’t care for the most part.

 

[SW15]

Is this your personal experience?

Yes, that is my personal experience.

IME: Usually the kids are in their 20’s and 30’s frankly they don’t care for the most part.

They might act like they don't care but they'll talk shiit behind backs.

 

[Stuffnu]

OP. The biggest issue is you’re using OLD as a measuring stick.
They are a bunch of spoiled children and thirst hounds.
It’s only a dirty wrench in your tool box and you need to treat these apps as such.

I’m getting older, aging well and economically sound too but I’m using that to my advantage. A man with life long of experiences should be out in the field, not behind a phone. There’s still a solid market with women at the local pub, etc. that you can build up a rapport and enjoy being to talked to, versus those that can only swipe to the right.

Rejection is part of the game, but a grey wolf will get eye facked by enough girls to give him the ego boost to keep hunting.

 

[DJ Novice]

Thanks for the replies.

After 20 years of marriage focusing on my kids and at my age my social circle is pretty much non-existent.

I’m based in Australia (VIC) so my comments reflect the situation here.

I moved from a different State (QLD) to get married and left my social circle behind. Still in touch with some of them including my lifelong best mate but the distance is too great.

I intend to join a Latin dancing class or equivalent to meet some women in person. I’m not really a pub person as most women there are of the
younger demographic the few times I have gone out.

I’ll try and answer as many questions forum members have raised as I can.

Thanks for the welcome @Pierce.Manhammer. I’ve never been a player as such but impressed with your efforts. I used to be more of a serial monogamist but have started dipping my toes into spinning plates which I’ll elaborate on later.

@The Duke the dating sites I have chosen are geared towards women who are more relationship minded so I can’t comment on whether the women of my age group are into casual hookups or not. However the ones I have matched with have made it clear they are after connection first. I am looking for relationship minded but not frequent catch ups to give me space and allow for plate spinning and my own time which is important to me. Early days yet so this may not be feasible long term with logistics/expectations.

My seduction style is what I call Blue Pill seduction. I’m very good at listening to women and talking to them about their feelings, what’s happened in their life to date to bring them to OLD, what they are looking for etc.

Women see the world through their emotions so I tap into that angle.

Using this tactic I’ve had women on the first date tell me their life story often getting very emotional. I’ve been told stories of stillborn kids, childhood abuse, as*xual marriages, getting kicked out by their parents into a home in their teens, discovering their own s*xual desires late in life and the list goes on.

I think there’s another thread on here about most women being broken and I can’t disagree.

Women of this age group can spot a player or red pill seduction tactics a mile away. They have been through the carousel, are jaded, have lots of regrets and are looking for someone who isn’t busting to get into their pants within three dates.

Patience is key. I use push/pull. Share a Spotify song, something I know they like or a quick check in then back off. I don’t appear needy or desperate by over texting or communicating. I always wait a few days after a date before setting a new one. Give them space and time to miss me and wonder what I’m doing. Often they’ll reach out first because they can’t stand the silence. I make sure to take the lead in setting dates and put effort into I know they will like and will be memorable.

I know this sounds like a lot of work and it is. I treat it as a hobby and kind of enjoy it. I enjoy women and am both equally a thrill of the hunt guy and a pleasure of s*x guy. For me I enjoy the journey as well as the destination. However, I tend to get bored after 6-12 months and concur with @SW15 that all relationships have a shelf life of goodness. Hedonic adaptation, the law of diminishing marginal returns (as it relates to laziness and selfishness), the intimacy/desire paradox etc. all play a part in my view.

At this stage of my life I want to experience more than one woman and to have the freedom to do so by not living with a woman or seeing her a lot with sleepovers etc. I value time by myself as I do have other interests in life like my kids, work, keeping fit, my small group of mates and my charity work. I want a woman to be a compliment to my life and not be the centre of it. I did that for 20 years while married and once is enough.

Is it best to log my progress in a new post/new section of the forum? I think it would make interesting reading especially as I’m just in the early OLD phase (just ended an 8 month rebound relationship and just starting to spin plates after 1-2 dates (no physical intimacy yet).

 

[pipeman84]

Using this tactic I’ve had women on the first date tell me their life story often getting very emotional. I’ve been told stories of stillborn kids, childhood abuse, as*xual marriages, getting kicked out by their parents into a home in their teens, discovering their own s*xual desires late in life and the list goes on.

I think there’s another thread on here about most women being broken and I can’t disagree.

Women of this age group can spot a player or red pill seduction tactics a mile away. They have been through the carousel, are jaded, have lots of regrets and are looking for someone who isn’t busting to get into their pants within three dates.

So basically you act like an unlicensed psychiatrist and thus unlike the licensed ones, you can have sex with your 'patients'. After listening to all that baggage and looking at the body of a +50yrs old woman, I don't know how you can get and keep an erection.
But hey, everyone is different and you write well, so keep us posted on your adventures.

 

[SW15]

looking at the body of a +50yrs old woman, I don't know how you can get and keep an erection.

Most 55 year old men are having sex with a 50-55 year old woman so they have to figure out a way to get and keep an erection with a naked 50-55 year old woman.

The married 55 year old men are typically having sex with a 50-55 year old woman that they've been in a relationship with for around 20-30 years.

A 55 year old man who has been divorced is at least getting pussie that fresher to him. Most divorced 55 year olds are having sex with a 50-55 year old woman too. It's just a different woman than the woman they were fuccking 20-30 years ago. They've probably been fuccking the same 50-55 year old for less than 10 years.

I tend to get bored after 6-12 months and concur with @SW15 that all relationships have a shelf life of goodness.....I did that for 20 years while married and once is enough.

You've been reading a lot of this forum if you know about my shelf life of goodness in relationships idea. It is likely that most of your 20 year relationship that included a marriage were somewhere between mediocre to subpar.

 

[pipeman84]

Most 55 year old men are having sex with a 50-55 year old woman so they have to figure out a way to get and keep an erection with a naked 50-55 year old woman.

The married 55 year old men are typically having sex with a 50-55 year old woman that they've been in a relationship with for around 20-30 years.

Let me clarify my previous post.
As I see it, there's a big difference between 1. a 55yrs old man married to a 55yrs old woman and they've been together for 30yrs and 2. OP's case ... a well off, 55yrs old divorced guy
In the first scenario, there is none of the baggage, mental issues and so on that 55yrs old women on OLD are most probably saddled with. On the contrary, there's a lifetime of experiences together that binds them. Provided the man has been a good leader in the marriage then there are no reasons why the wife wouldn't have a decent body for her age.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

looking at the body of a +50yrs old woman, I don't know how you can get and keep an erection.
But hey, everyone is different and you write well, so keep us posted on your adventures.

Yes we’re all different. The body of a 54 year old I have the pleasure of having access to sexually. I have absolutely no issues maintaining a chemically unassisted erection for her.



If your weenus can’t stay up, try to upgrade your prey.

p.s. nevermind why do you fackers care who other men are railing so much? Always boggles my mind, seems compensatory to me…

 

[Dr.Suave]

Yes we’re all different. The body of a 54 year old I have the pleasure of having access to sexually. I have absolutely no issues maintaining a chemically unassisted erection for her.

View attachment 12054

If your weenus can’t stay up, try to upgrade your prey.

Yeah bro. Dont listen to @pipeman84 . He is being all sour grapes about all the gilfs you are spinning.

Ah just messin with you guys. She´s hot.