Possibly successful date, but I feel like it was a complete failure.

[Korrupt]

Holy sh*t.... Just got friendzoned. WTF just happened, how did it happen, and how should I respond? I'm really confused right now...

 

[Radharc]

What happened since the date when you kissed her? How was your interaction after that?

 

[Korrupt]

What happened since the date when you kissed her? How was your interaction after that?

I posted everything that happened on the second date already, the entire "report." Everything was great, it was an action date (mini-golf) then we went to my place (just us two), we had fun, but I also used a lot of kino and sexual kino (especially when watching the movie), sexual innuendos, and good body language of course (eye contact, "the look," stuff like that). I had two short make-outs, like 5-10 seconds. We made out on my couch (and I also slapped her ass here at one point), then before I took her home we made out again. She displayed a lot of interest on both dates, but when texting I noticed she was not very quick to respond after the first date, and even less responsive after the second date (full day to respond to me putting me in the friend-zone).

My texts were just some light callback humor kinda stuff, and on the third text I asked her out again. This seriously came totally out of left field. And I don't mean I had a little gut feeling or in the back of my mind I thought I may get friend-zoned and I'm surprised but not that surprised that it happened. I mean I would have never guessed this outcome in a billion years. But now that it's happened and I've thought about it a bit, I know where I went wrong. On the first date I was alone with her on her couch, just us two. She wanted sex. The second date was obviously my last chance in her book, and once again we were alone, but at my place this time, and all I did was make out with her and slap her ass when she wanted sex (again). I thought I was progressing at a good steady rate with her, but I guess not.

That is really the only conclusion I can come to here because nothing I did other than not moving fast enough for her would have put me in the friend zone. She wanted sex, I thought she was more conservative because she never really came onto me physically, and I moved to slow for her. I'm not 100% sure, because she never initiated anything super sexual with me, but it's the only reason I can think of in this situation. If you guys have any thoughts I would LOVE to hear them.

The only thing I'm thinking about now is moving my feelings away from her and onto other girls, but at the same time I think it could be an even greater learning experience to be friends with her and see what happens, as well as use her for social proof and maybe go out with her when I have nothing better to do. But I realize this is only a good option if I can keep my own feelings in check and off of her so as to not get hurt further. I'm thinking of sending her a message tomorrow saying something along the lines of "I thought we were only going out and having fun as friends this whole time. What did you think we were doing? Lol."

Well, please, if anyone has thoughts, ideas, advice on how to progress, ANYTHING, post it, I'm trying to learn from every experience I can. Should I message her what I posted? Should I message her at all? I really do need some guidance right now.

 

[Korrupt]

I know that post is long, but no-one has any ideas or thoughts on this?

 

[Kailex]

You brought her back to your place and all you did was make out?

My theory is that she gave you a second chance to prove you MIGHT be a man ... from the first date.

She WILLINGLY went back to your place where it was just the two of you... and you didn't try to REALLY escalate?

Look, if she's at your place, she's more than likely ready and willing to get explored even further. Even if it means rejection, you plow and plow.

The biggest fallacy out there is because a woman is conservative or shy or sweet or religious... that means that she's less inclined to want to have sex. LIES. They ALL want it, no matter what their background is. You treat them all the same no matter how shy or conservative she is. She is essentially a woman with all of the same woman blueprint ingredients in search of a man who was the blueprint of a man.

 

[Radharc]

Yeah, when the day is done is better to err on the side of going too strong than of going too weak.

That said, 2 dates, make-out session on the second one seems perfectly reasonable to me, no reason to be LJBF based on that alone, unless she´s some raging nympho and you handled it really bad, like she was really bent on having sex, it was obvious, and you pussied out.

Other possibility: you failed to build enough rapport and "emotional" connection and made it too obvious you were only interested in the poon, with some conservative girls, raised with decent role models, when this happens sometimes they start to have second toughts. Idk, but I have a feeling she may be one, on account of her introducing you to the parents, and asking what you thought of them.

 

[joe henny]

Are you a vagina? Y on gods green earth didn't you fucc her this time? Fella you need to grab your damn balls. Geesh you guys on here are sorry for christ sakes!

 

[Korrupt]

Now I'm actually not completely sure if it was that she wanted quick sex from me or not. I talked to the friend I met her through, and she had actually told me that she went out on a date with him a couple weeks ago on Saturday, which didn't bother me because I thought my friend was no competition at all. Anyways, I talked to him and eventually started asking him questions about him and this girl. He works with her, and has been hanging out with her like every day. The date they went on was an expensive dinner date and he paid the entire bill, unlike my dates where we walked around the nightlife part of town and played mini-golf and she paid. He also told me that two days ago they kissed and hung out all night, and SHE initiated it (may or may not be completely true), and she's been saying how she likes him because he's a "nice guy" and she told him that I was "full of myself." Also, she didn't consider the first date a date, she considered it a hang-out.

I still think it COULD HAVE BEEN that I didn't sex her up quick enough, but at the same time I'm thinking that she actually is a nice more conservative girl, and that me not paying for the dates lowered her interest, and me being a bit ****y and using a lot of sexual innuendos and stuff like that lowered her interest, or she may have actually thought that all I wanted was to get in her pants so she had second thoughts about me and dropped me by using LJBF. This could be possible because let's take a look at my friend. He not only works with her, but he's been hanging out with her everyday for over a month now and until recently he hadn't even kissed her. I also noticed him white-knighting her a bit when we all went out and I first met her. So look at this situation, my friend, who is shorter, not as good looking, a guy she considers a "nice guy," much less well built, who has taken her out to a boring dinner date (paid the entire bill too) and been hanging out with her everyday and didn't even kiss her until 2 days ago, gets chosen over me.

Whatever. What I really hate is that she chose my friend the "nice guy" over me, mainly because it confuses the sh*t outta me. I sent her one last text just attempting to confuse her a bit before I never contact her again:

"I thought we were only hanging out and having fun as friends this whole time. What else could it have been lol? We only went out twice, I need to get to know someone better before they become a serious option for me."

I get a response that I can't hardly read or understand:

"Well me to but I meant by that was just hanging out, not a date or kiss."

Now it's all over. Never contacting her again. End.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Now I'm actually not completely sure if it was that she wanted quick sex from me or not. I talked to the friend I met her through, and she had actually told me that she went out on a date with him a couple weeks ago on Saturday, which didn't bother me because I thought my friend was no competition at all. Anyways, I talked to him and eventually started asking him questions about him and this girl. He works with her, and has been hanging out with her like every day. The date they went on was an expensive dinner date and he paid the entire bill, unlike my dates where we walked around the nightlife part of town and played mini-golf and she paid. He also told me that two days ago they kissed and hung out all night, and SHE initiated it (may or may not be completely true), and she's been saying how she likes him because he's a "nice guy" and she told him that I was "full of myself." Also, she didn't consider the first date a date, she considered it a hang-out.

I still think it COULD HAVE BEEN that I didn't sex her up quick enough, but at the same time I'm thinking that she actually is a nice more conservative girl, and that me not paying for the dates lowered her interest, and me being a bit ****y and using a lot of sexual innuendos and stuff like that lowered her interest, or she may have actually thought that all I wanted was to get in her pants so she had second thoughts about me and dropped me by using LJBF. This could be possible because let's take a look at my friend. He not only works with her, but he's been hanging out with her everyday for over a month now and until recently he hadn't even kissed her. I also noticed him white-knighting her a bit when we all went out and I first met her. So look at this situation, my friend, who is shorter, not as good looking, a guy she considers a "nice guy," much less well built, who has taken her out to a boring dinner date (paid the entire bill too) and been hanging out with her everyday and didn't even kiss her until 2 days ago, gets chosen over me.

Whatever. What I really hate is that she chose my friend the "nice guy" over me, mainly because it confuses the sh*t outta me. I sent her one last text just attempting to confuse her a bit before I never contact her again:

"I thought we were only hanging out and having fun as friends this whole time. What else could it have been lol? We only went out twice, I need to get to know someone better before they become a serious option for me."

I get a response that I can't hardly read or understand:

"Well me to but I meant by that was just hanging out, not a date or kiss."

Now it's all over. Never contacting her again. End.

She'll use him for the expensive dinners and gifts and move on when something "better" comes along.

Don't be surprised they wind up "breaking up" and she tells people they were just "friends" too. She'll also eventually send you a text to "see how you are doing". Ignore it.

She's looking for a "nice guy" provider = sucker.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Now I'm actually not completely sure if it was that she wanted quick sex from me or not. I talked to the friend I met her through, and she had actually told me that she went out on a date with him a couple weeks ago on Saturday, which didn't bother me because I thought my friend was no competition at all. Anyways, I talked to him and eventually started asking him questions about him and this girl. He works with her, and has been hanging out with her like every day. The date they went on was an expensive dinner date and he paid the entire bill, unlike my dates where we walked around the nightlife part of town and played mini-golf and she paid. He also told me that two days ago they kissed and hung out all night, and SHE initiated it (may or may not be completely true), and she's been saying how she likes him because he's a "nice guy" and she told him that I was "full of myself." Also, she didn't consider the first date a date, she considered it a hang-out.

I still think it COULD HAVE BEEN that I didn't sex her up quick enough, but at the same time I'm thinking that she actually is a nice more conservative girl, and that me not paying for the dates lowered her interest, and me being a bit ****y and using a lot of sexual innuendos and stuff like that lowered her interest, or she may have actually thought that all I wanted was to get in her pants so she had second thoughts about me and dropped me by using LJBF. This could be possible because let's take a look at my friend. He not only works with her, but he's been hanging out with her everyday for over a month now and until recently he hadn't even kissed her. I also noticed him white-knighting her a bit when we all went out and I first met her. So look at this situation, my friend, who is shorter, not as good looking, a guy she considers a "nice guy," much less well built, who has taken her out to a boring dinner date (paid the entire bill too) and been hanging out with her everyday and didn't even kiss her until 2 days ago, gets chosen over me.

Whatever. What I really hate is that she chose my friend the "nice guy" over me, mainly because it confuses the sh*t outta me. I sent her one last text just attempting to confuse her a bit before I never contact her again:

"I thought we were only hanging out and having fun as friends this whole time. What else could it have been lol? We only went out twice, I need to get to know someone better before they become a serious option for me."

I get a response that I can't hardly read or understand:

"Well me to but I meant by that was just hanging out, not a date or kiss."

Now it's all over. Never contacting her again. End.

It's none of those things. The problem lies in the amount of analysis you gave to every communication from her. Girls can TELL when a guy is obsessing about them, and this turns them off.

Attraction isn't a choice, so don't get angry at her. I can understand the confusion you feel, especially after having made out with her, but it has NOTHING to do with the qualities you listed.

Here's your mistakes:

1) Not kissing when you had the green light and seeking validation by asking if she had fun.

2) Too many texts in between with too much callback humor. If you're remembering too many parts of the date, she'll know that you were analyzing things over and over again.

3) Not making her wonder how much you liked her. After the second date, you should've disappeared for a bit. Absence builds interest.

4) Sending that last text. DON'T EVER DO THAT! She knows you're trying to save face and it looks weak. When you got friendzoned, you should've said, "Totally fine. See ya around!" or just not responded. You did what every other needy guy does.

Chalk it up as a learning experience, and try not to overanalyze. You should aim to date more than one girl at a time- do that, and you will exhibit the "right" behaviors naturally.

 

[Korrupt]

It's none of those things. The problem lies in the amount of analysis you gave to every communication from her. Girls can TELL when a guy is obsessing about them, and this turns them off.

Attraction isn't a choice, so don't get angry at her. I can understand the confusion you feel, especially after having made out with her, but it has NOTHING to do with the qualities you listed.

Here's your mistakes:

1) Not kissing when you had the green light and seeking validation by asking if she had fun.

I asked her if she had fun ONLY to get her to look at me, but it doesn't matter. Completely agree with this one.

2) Too many texts in between with too much callback humor. If you're remembering too many parts of the date, she'll know that you were analyzing things over and over again.

I would wait 3-4 days before sending her a text after each date, then I would only send a few back and forth and ask her out in one of those 3 texts. But now that I look back I did bring things up from the second date a bit in our text convo while trying to get a third date. I mentioned mini-golf, and also what color her ball was and when she hit it off the course, so I do agree to a point here. Though really? Remembering and bringing things up from a previous date can f*ck up your chances? That's ridiculous...

3) Not making her wonder how much you liked her. After the second date, you should've disappeared for a bit. Absence builds interest.

Agree, but how long are we talking? How long should I have made her wait? Like I said I waited at least 3 days after both dates before contacting her again, which was me trying NOT to seem desperate or needy, but still keeping in contact with her.

4) Sending that last text. DON'T EVER DO THAT! She knows you're trying to save face and it looks weak. When you got friendzoned, you should've said, "Totally fine. See ya around!" or just not responded. You did what every other needy guy does.

Here's why I sent that message. I figured most guys would either A.) not say anything (which seems pretty obvious that they're upset with her decision) B.) Start asking a lot of questions about "why" she feels the way she does or begging her to feel different or some sh*t, or C.) Say they're fine with it but still try to pursue her. I wanted to say something that would make her believe I really had no true interest in her the entire time and from the beginning thought that we were just friends hanging out and that I was actually surprised that she felt it was something other than that. It really doesn't matter either way, I'm probobly never going to see or talk to this girl again.

Chalk it up as a learning experience, and try not to overanalyze. You should aim to date more than one girl at a time- do that, and you will exhibit the "right" behaviors naturally.

I really find it hard to believe that a girl would just know I'm obsessing over her only because I bring up things from a previous date or something like that. I made sure to never act jealous, desperate, needy, clingy, or like a chump in any of our interactions, text or in person. I'm not trying to argue here, I'm just trying to give more information on why I did the things I did and learn more so I won't make the same mistakes again.

 

[scorpio1138]

I really find it hard to believe that a girl would just know I'm obsessing over her only because I bring up things from a previous date or something like that. I made sure to never act jealous, desperate, needy, clingy, or like a chump in any of our interactions, text or in person. I'm not trying to argue here, I'm just trying to give more information on why I did the things I did and learn more so I won't make the same mistakes again.

they can smell it without you saying a word.

You learned from this one....now on to the next one.

 

[joe henny]

Now I'm actually not completely sure if it was that she wanted quick sex from me or not. I talked to the friend I met her through, and she had actually told me that she went out on a date with him a couple weeks ago on Saturday, which didn't bother me because I thought my friend was no competition at all. Anyways, I talked to him and eventually started asking him questions about him and this girl. He works with her, and has been hanging out with her like every day. The date they went on was an expensive dinner date and he paid the entire bill, unlike my dates where we walked around the nightlife part of town and played mini-golf and she paid. He also told me that two days ago they kissed and hung out all night, and SHE initiated it (may or may not be completely true), and she's been saying how she likes him because he's a "nice guy" and she told him that I was "full of myself." Also, she didn't consider the first date a date, she considered it a hang-out.

I still think it COULD HAVE BEEN that I didn't sex her up quick enough, but at the same time I'm thinking that she actually is a nice more conservative girl, and that me not paying for the dates lowered her interest, and me being a bit ****y and using a lot of sexual innuendos and stuff like that lowered her interest, or she may have actually thought that all I wanted was to get in her pants so she had second thoughts about me and dropped me by using LJBF. This could be possible because let's take a look at my friend. He not only works with her, but he's been hanging out with her everyday for over a month now and until recently he hadn't even kissed her. I also noticed him white-knighting her a bit when we all went out and I first met her. So look at this situation, my friend, who is shorter, not as good looking, a guy she considers a "nice guy," much less well built, who has taken her out to a boring dinner date (paid the entire bill too) and been hanging out with her everyday and didn't even kiss her until 2 days ago, gets chosen over me.

Whatever. What I really hate is that she chose my friend the "nice guy" over me, mainly because it confuses the sh*t outta me. I sent her one last text just attempting to confuse her a bit before I never contact her again:

"I thought we were only hanging out and having fun as friends this whole time. What else could it have been lol? We only went out twice, I need to get to know someone better before they become a serious option for me."

I get a response that I can't hardly read or understand:

"Well me to but I meant by that was just hanging out, not a date or kiss."

Now it's all over. Never contacting her again. End.

Obviously your the nice guy if your getting your panties in a bundle and posting bout this ho3. What kind of player goes to pieces over one b!tch?

She wasn't feeling you cuz you have no game. Move on she likes your friend now the most you could hope for is to luck and **** her 1 day but as a player you should know she is just one of the many hoos out there and if she is not buying what your selling some 1 else will.

 

[Korrupt]

they can smell it without you saying a word.

You learned from this one....now on to the next one.

As much as I'd like to say I wish I never met her, I'm glad I did because I did learn more and got some more wisdom/experience under my belt for the next ones.

Obviously your the nice guy if your getting your panties in a bundle and posting bout this ho3. What kind of player goes to pieces over one b!tch?

She wasn't feeling you cuz you have no game Move on she likes your friend now the most you could hope for is to luck and **** her 1 day but as a player you should know she is just one of the many hoos out there and if she is not buying what your selling some 1 else will.

I now know why you're red. I went out with a girl, caught feelings, got rejected and now I'm on here trying to make it a learning experience instead of just a sh*tty experience. At least I had dates and made out with a girl recently. You're just at home alone on a message board wasting your own time insulting random people who you don't even know on the internet, so I don't think that you can talk about who does and doesn't have game.

And yes, the many people who know me would probably describe me as a nice guy, along with social, funny, knowledgeable and confident.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I really find it hard to believe that a girl would just know I'm obsessing over her only because I bring up things from a previous date or something like that. I made sure to never act jealous, desperate, needy, clingy, or like a chump in any of our interactions, text or in person. I'm not trying to argue here, I'm just trying to give more information on why I did the things I did and learn more so I won't make the same mistakes again.

Well, you know what you did better than I, and it's certainly possible that this was just a case of bad timing. I'd really need a text log to make any guesses as to the tipping point, but somewhere along the way she lost interest, and I'm guessing it stemmed from something you did AFTER the date, since she was all for making out with you. Girls place you under a microscope early on, so a few tiny mistakes here and there can spell trouble. It's best to play it safe and don't say too much between meets, and keep it a bit mysterious.

The other thing is that guys that are too "by the book" tend to get rejected more often. If you're waiting three days to call, then sending a funny text, then asking her out again, rinse, repeat, it might seem a little forced to her.

What I prefer is to be completely unpredictable-almost like a flaky chick. I'll disappear for a week with no contact, then call and be really excited about something I want to do with her. Or, I might text her something like, "what are you doing in couple hours, I might be in your area" completely out of the blue, and then won't write back when she answers. It's a silly game to have to play, but it communicates that you have a busy schedule and tend to be rather spontaneous. The other thing I do is give commands rather than asking out- e.g. "You need to come with me to this, it's going to be amazing," or, "Come over tonight and help me pick out a gift for my cousin." If she says she already has plans, say, "Well cancel them and hang out with me!" (half joking, of course). When you make bold requests like this, you'll notice that girls naturally become submissive- this is what you want. Trying to be too courteous tends to backfire when it comes to dating; give yourself permission to be as assertive and selfish as you want, and you notice results.

 

[joe henny]

As much as I'd like to say I wish I never met her, I'm glad I did because I did learn more and got some more wisdom/experience under my belt for the next ones.



I now know why you're red. I went out with a girl, caught feelings, got rejected and now I'm on here trying to make it a learning experience instead of just a sh*tty experience. At least I had dates and made out with a girl recently. You're just at home alone on a message board wasting your own time insulting random people who you don't even know on the internet, so I don't think that you can talk about who does and doesn't have game.

And yes, the many people who know me would probably describe me as a nice guy, along with social, funny, knowledgeable and confident.

Ok making out with a girl is nothing. Your taking my advice the wrong way Im trying to motivate you to do better man. I used to be the same with girls until one day I got a kick in the ass that inspired me to change.