To be honest this is a coupling that makes sense. Both parties have very successfully exploited an extreme representation of their gender roles for millions by entertaining others. You can get killed by either activity, through mischance in an MMA fight or HIV in the porn industry. They are like watered-down protagonists of the movie Gamer. I'm sure can they relate to each other's experiences quite well -- maybe they don't even judge each other for it. An all-american couple? In some ways. It doesn't make sense to hate on them. They are people just like you.
Next: It's hard not to feel the scarcity thing if you're active-duty military, it can make you tolerate more than you logically should. It also takes a completely different skillset and mentality for dealing with women. A unit's success is determined by how well it cooperates together. Dating and relationships are closer to adversarial. You don't have to be tough or brave to deal with women well. You need to be socially acute, self-assured, and capable of hurting the other party more than they can hurt you. Not saying you SHOULD hurt the other, but if you are not capable of this you are in the other's power -- Machiavelli would not approve!
So why do guys who can face down death have a hard time with this? Think of the difference between Survivor and
Survivorman. The same people won't excel in either situation due partly to experience, but also because people accumulate certain experiences because they live by a philosophy or set of values which makes adaptation unnatural. Regarding your buddy, Buk -- its probably just a part of his life he hasn't paid much attention to, or doesn't want to intellectually accept. Military guys can make decent money, great job security, and aren't around to keep an eye on what wifey or the GF is doing. It can attract some girls who realize that, which is not always a good thing.
One caveat: being tough, brave, and capable is the *BEST* thing if you and a girl both find yourself in a tight spot and she needs a hero, now. However we usually live in the affluent world where women are pampered and bored, so they need diversion (bad boy to the rescue? yup), or they're a little broke and need a decent guy so they can eat well and have a decent standard of living if they want to move out of their parents basement.