Porn... and nightclubs

[kingsam]

your job has nothing to do with the inability to chat up women in a normal way........ just standard lack of conversation skills and other game

id also do some social experimentation with mentioning your job. some girls will freak , others (fewer?) will be ok.... it just depends how you frame it,

id also say at some point a more "normal" job may help with general life nomality...etc.... (you dont wanna be one of those old pervs you see on youporn do you?)

 

[PornPot]

Finally!Some proper advise that I CAN use.

I have sooo many questions, I just got to do some stuff and will come back here and post.

Thanks again!

 

[PornPot]

"you haven't really told us what kind of advice you're looking for. and that link you posted is full of viruses"

Come on dude, the others see my questions and you dont?
As for links with "full of viruses" that is total BS, I use pastie everyday and that image host is as safe as a new born baby to you.

>Mainly, talking about what you do. If that's what you work on a majority of the time,

I work a bit strange, its around a month or two of shooting - then a break for 1-4 months from shooting.
I also do editing in this time, I started as a programmer and designer.

My main problem I guess is I spent way too much time with the computer than interacting with people - so became geeky and somehow I transmit this.
Talk to me about computers and programming and I can jabber away - who the f wants to listen to that?

I have been reading here and these two are fantastic:
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/howtotell.htm

and
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/converse.htm

But I started this thread to kind of ask for a path to follow, the advise (although fantastic) seems not really organized in steps


"Remember, you're qualifying them, they're trying to win you over."
I see the words... but I guess I cant get past "I'm really trying to win them over" not th other way around.

> I'm guessing you're fine at attracting them, but its building rapport that's difficult.

DING! DING! DING! BINNNNNNNNNGO!
You got it perfectly... also approaching women is a problem for me.
If I can get these two down... I'm happy.

> litmus test
Dont know what that is...

> I think some people are just amazed (or jealous) that someone gets laid several times a week and yet, still wants more!

I have met haters in this game, does not bother me anymore. The women haters I ignore, if a guy hater ****blocks me - I usually think hes a prick but dont really hate back because I know he aint getting **** and I am getting laid on schedule tomorrow with a 7-10.
But if he moves in and actually scores with the girl he just ****blocked me... then yes, I get jealous and feel ****ty and ponder what did I do, say, move, or generally do wrong? where did I f**kup? Where exactly did I lose her to him? what does he have? etc
A sh*tload of questions, and I was hoping to get some answers here - I am tired of trying myself.

> By the way, thank you for what you do!
Haha! Yea, its a horrible job but I do it for you guys
If I was not so generous I would charge you... oops! I do!
No, I like porn, I like watching it when I am alone and I like making it. The women - some look like angels but are nasty as can be. They do stuff that my ex girlfriends would hit me over the head with a pan if I even suggested they do.
I always had a problem getting my ex's to do anal, here most of the girls need just a little coaxing, for example here's two that I am doing later this week, both with anal:
http://img177.yfrog.com/gal.php?g=10533651.jpg

A lot of them have husbands and boyfriends - and a lot of the time their partners are clueless...
Plus I bang without condoms. Which you cant really do with a girl you picked up (at least i convince myself of this to make myself feel better when I am feeling down).

Dont get me wrong, I like what I do... but in the end - you are paying for it, there is no fcuking "game" in it. Wheres the hunt? where is the conquest? wheres the real interaction? Wheres the knowledge of being smooth? knowing you can handle any situatation in a room full of people... (I couple of the above was based after reading some posts on this forum - I admire you guys)

> To the OP, all we can do is give you advice if this isn't what you need then post more info

My posts are getting really long, but I hope the above opens a little more about me. I am kind of flailing... please just ask if I miss out on something you need to know. No question is off limits, I really want to learn and am looking for help.

> it sounds to me like you just don't know where to go once the conversation starts rolling.
Again, YES.
Here's an example, the other day I was in a club... I said hello to one b!tch and she totally ignored me with a stale face. I just looked away.
Then a few minutes later I met this cute 20 year old and her friend (23 year old), I bought them two beers... and we started chatting.. was going great for around 7-10 minutes but it started going downhill (i think).. I started panicking and I knew this was not going anyway.
A few minutes later some of their other friends (4 more girls) joined them and they moved away. They smiled at me the whole night etc but that was fcuking it. I gave one of them my number knowing fully well she wont call



> Just think of the word suave, and act suave, if you got the girls interest get her somewhere more secluded so you can talk more, if you get bored then move around dont let things get stale.

I really wouldnt know how to do the above, where to start, where to end.. whats the middle.

And one tiny note to all those women (and your mothers), and the idiots who pose as guys here but are women and who say "be yourself". FUUUUUUUUUUU*******CCCCCKKKKKKK YOOOOOU.

Being a nice guy does not get you s**hit.
I am in the friends zone with so many girls that I just dropped contact because it was depressing. They would jump nearly everyone and total d!cks but not me. (And quite a few of them dont know I do porn - I am (was) their "buddy", and they felt safe enough to pass out ON me (actual story)).
F that, I am 30 years old, I want to change.

> just standard lack of conversation skills and other game id
Whats "game id"?

> id also say at some point a more "normal" job may help with general life nomality
Well, I have the designing, programming, webmaster thingy to fall back on, but isnt that just boring to women? even guys who are not into IT yawn.

Sorry, this was supposed to be just a question answer thingy but I kind of vented as well, I guess pent up frustration?

 

[Thundernuts]

Dude, don't beat yourself up for not being able to talk to women. Its gonna take some time before your game really develops into what you need it to be.

Thats right, your game is YOUR GAME, its something thats unique to you, your style of living everything you do. You need to get comfortable with what you do. You shoot porn, don't be shy about it, i mean yeah i wouldn't bring it up at the beginning but its gonna happen.

You want the hunt, well your chasing the most elusive prey, some are easy some are hard but it varies from one to another. A good hunter doesn't learn everything he knows in a couple of days it takes time of trial and error. Start off by your approach, don't sit there and analyze yourself on everything you do, just go and start talking and see what works and what doesn't. Next, work on your conversation. Go and talk get a sense of where the conversations go and how you can use those to your advantage.

Your just tired of paying for sex without any challenge. Now it seems like you aren't looking for a relationship so don't worry about the results, if things go good and get the girl you were after then youve learned, if things don't go so great you still got pvssy right around the corner. Just take it one step at a time thats all i can say.

Sorry for the length my train of thought went all over the place

 

[ChanceBoudreaux]

so did my message not get through? strange

i,m really surprised your thread has gotten a positive response cause most guys on these website condone paying for it wheather it be escorts, pros etc and how watching porn ruins a guys game blah blah blah

well i love watching porn and i would love to bang a hot chick , though the latter part is hard, not only in finding one but then also trying to game one

what i want is sex, sex on a regular basis say once or twice a week
myself i dont have girls on hand to call up like some members here who have plenty of plates to spin, it is so much hard work even just to game a regular looking girl which is why i have considered paying an escort but them seem to be a bit steep £150 for 30min , i would be broke after a few sessions so i've been thinking why not pay some girls for a porn shoot ,
must work out cheaper than a escort and lasts longer since they are working to your schedule not hers

my question that i previously sent you but you never recieved goes like this

-how do you find the girls
-do the girls find you and you cherry pick the ones you want
-have you placed a wanted ad
-where do you find girls, most porn stars started at the tender young age of 18 where are you finding these type who would want to appear in porn at this age
-how much do you pay per session
-how long is your shoot 2-3 hours
-are you making any money out of it, to fund your next shoot


sorry if this doesnt really help your situation , but it could help mine
thanks

 

[PornPot]

Hey Thunder,
Thanks for the words of encouragement as well as advise!

Here's what happened today:
Girl comes over... we did the shoot, I pop twice... then while copying the disks I start playing with her nipples and slowly started making out and we then went at it without the camera and I had a 3rd pop.
That felt pretty good as I felt I was not "paying" for it.

AFter which me and a few pals went to a strip joint, after 3 pops I aint looking to get laid but just admiring the cuties (I love women even if the mind is willing but the flesh is weak ;P ) and I tried taking some previous advise here and started acting a bit aloof (or the closest I could imagine to being suave). After a while one of the strippers starts holding my eyes and smiling and sh!t... I did skim past a little bit of David deAngelos videos so I know I am not supposed to pay and be like rest of the chum.. so while many guys including my pals were putting money in their gstrings, I just smiled back (This is stripper 1).

And I almost completely ignored another stripper who I thought was cute (lets call her s2).

Anyway, after a while s2 comes to our table as one of my pals is a photographer as well, she gets introduced to me... and my friend asks me "isnt she pretty" I tried to "neg her" and said "yea, but why does she always look angry when looking in my direction".. conversation goes on and I also called her rude... she acted surprised and told me "no I misread her" etc... I pretty much ignored her the rest of the time (I know I will be going back some other time so I was trying to "setup for later") and the actually started smiling and trying (a bit?) for my attention when her set(s) came up again!

Anyway, after a while stripper 1 again comes back for a new set and again eye contact and smiling... after a little while we got up to go and stripper 1 too was leaving.. I think she expected me to go up to her and say something... but again I completely blanked out and we just left.

I think I will be going back to that club again later this week... advise? How to play it?

What did I do wrong (if anything) how could I improve?

Also met some US girls from Boston on holiday here... again blanked out as to how to get a conversation going


> Sorry for the length my train of thought went all over the place

I dont give a damn, I appreciate your reply and as long as its good advise just spill it however you see fit and I'll take it Thanks!


> i,m really surprised your thread has gotten a positive response cause most...
Well, I guess because I am new here... and its a proper job for me. Its not like I do this just to "drain my hornyness".
Just like most guys get up for work, come rain or snow when I have a shoot date I have to perform - while most guys will only go for an escort when *they feel* like it, I have to fcuk when I have to fcuk.

If I have an early shoot, I have to go to sleep early, if I have to have a certain number of cumshots I cant have sex the day before... its a proper job, unfortunately a lot only notice the final product.

Chance, As for the rest of your questions as to getting into the business... the entire reply would be longer than this entire thread so please dont think I am being rude but I *have to* be brief and a bit vague...

-how do you find the girls
Agents

-do the girls find you and you cherry pick the ones you want
Cant answer that.

-have you placed a wanted ad
No.

-where do you find girls, most porn stars started at the tender young age of 18 where are you finding these type who would want to appear in porn at this age

Cant answer that.

-how much do you pay per session

Varies.

-how long is your shoot 2-3 hours

Cant answer that.

-are you making any money out of it, to fund your next shoot

Definetely cant answer that.

Sorry,I dont mean to be rude (and I hope you dont think I am) but also keep in mind that I came here to ask on how to improve my game (or actually develop some game), not advise on how to get into the pron business (which is already saturated) and anwer financial Qs.
I'll just tell you that: there are a lot of risks and its not as easy as I think you think it is... nor as glamourous that some guys belive it is.

 

[PornPot]

Also to be really honest I have two big fears:
1 - When approaching women, the fear of being shot down so badly that its embarrassing or I make a complete fool of myself.

2 - (and the reason I am seeking help here) that I finally meet the girl I want to have a relationship with but I am too stupid to say or do the right thing and she slips away...

IMHO, the person (no matter how many times he is getting laid a week) who say he wouldnt mind dying alone - is a liar. I know I am sh!t scared of that happening to me.

 

[Thundernuts]

Also to be really honest I have two big fears:
1 - When approaching women, the fear of being shot down so badly that its embarrassing or I make a complete fool of myself.

Fear of rejection.

2 - (and the reason I am seeking help here) that I finally meet the girl I want to have a relationship with but I am too stupid to say or do the right thing and she slips away...

Fear of imperfection

IMHO, the person (no matter how many times he is getting laid a week) who say he wouldnt mind dying alone - is a liar. I know I am sh!t scared of that happening to me.

Okay, admitting it is usually the hardest part we are off to a good start.

Pornpot, sit down and get into sponge mode because im about to **** gold into your brain.

Are you ready?

A man who lives with fear in his heart is a man that doesn't live it at.

Now look, we'll start off with number one. You are afraid of failure so you don't even try? If Pook was here he would slap you in two. How can you fail if you don't try? Sure she can so no, but there are others, and at least you will still learn something.

Now number two...hmmm...Pornpot there are millions of women everywhere, some of them are extremely polar oposites of the ones that you and i are accustomed to seeing every day. Fact of the matter is there is no girl you are
" Meant" to have a relationship with, only a girl who will compliment your lifestyle. And trust me when you meet that girl the last thing you're gonna be thinking is:

' man, this woman likes everything i like! she likes sex, food, sleeping. Im meant to have a relationship with her'

Doesn't happen, when you do meet her your gonna think she is badass, and your gonna be badass in turn, it will come naturally. Apologize only if you say something offensive, don't say sorry for everything.

If you want to be truly successful with women then you can't be afraid of failure bottom line.

Again sorry for going all over the place i may have lost my original inten but its still good i think

 

[cordoncordon]

Pornpot here is the thing. IMO you are depressed and upset and unable to have a normal conversation with an everyday (not a porn girl) woman because of the type of women you are hanging out with on an everyday basis. I mean lets face it, girls in porn are not the cream of the crop in society. Most have issues, are drug users, aren't educated, etc. And don't get me wrong, I like porn and beautiful women, but when you get down to the nuts and bolts of it, it's degrading. To women for doing it and for men who have to resort to it. So you are hanging out with all of these porn peeps, which generally involves sketchy people, and then like yesterday for example you go from shooting a porn to going to the strip club. No wonder you are so full of issues right now. How can you take THAT MUCH pornography? Aren't you tired of the whole scene? Sounds depressing to be honest and I dont even do it lol.

Not to mention, what self respecting, classy, smart, educated, family oriented, "normal" girl is ever going to want to date and have a relationship with a guy who does what you do? Let me tell ya, it is not going to happen. You are going to attract the druggies, the wannabe porn girls, the girls with issues. Honestly, the only way you will ever be able to get what you want, a normal healthy relationship, is to find another line of work. You've made your choice career wise, and these are the consequences. And not being able to have a normal adult relationship, along with not being being able to talk to normal adult women, is one of those consequences.

 

[PornPot]

Black people are lazy
Mexicans are stupid
Muslims are terrorists
old people are wise
young people are stupid
americans are stupid
hindus are peaceful
brazilians can dance
white men can't jump

@cordon, see how stupid the above is to generalize just based on a certain set of folk?
Thats how stupid your reply to me sounded.

"Most have issues"
Show me someone who does not have issues.

"are drug users"
I've been in the business for 4 years, the number of girls who do porn BECAUSE of their drug habit can be counted on on hand. Girls who first do porn and later get a drug habit on the other hand...

"aren't educated"
I wish you would tell some of them that, they might respond with words that are too big for you to understand.

"it's degrading"
"To women for doing it and for men who have to resort to it."
"which generally involves sketchy people"

Either you have been watching too much TV or been listening to the feminists and old geezer women in Swedish parliament - I do actually hope you are pulling my chain and not that gullible.

A *lot* of the women do it to feel more powerful, like sex and a million other reasons other than just money. Sure a percentage of them do it for the money, but not everyone.
You are generalizing about a set of folk you know absolutely NOTHING about and they would be as insulted as I am irritated by your statements.

"then like yesterday for example you go from shooting a porn to going to the strip club"
Have you been to Prague?
If not come on over, it should be a culture shock.
Guys come there with their girlfriends, the girls are more into checking out the strippers than the guys. Its not a slezy thing, its social, drinks are not really watered down and prices are decent.
Dont think of a texas titty bar (been there as well) this is a world of difference.

"How can you take THAT MUCH pornography?"
I didnt go there for the bare titties.. we went there just to party - the titties were just a bonus.

"Aren't you tired of the whole scene?"
Oh yes totally.
I'm 30 and I just dont know how I can like seeing beautiful women and sleeping with them with no strings attached. Its killing me inside like it would kill any other 30 year old guy. (/sarcasm)

"what self respecting, classy, smart, educated, family oriented, "normal" girl is ever going to want to date and have a relationship with a guy who does what you do?"

There you got me. Dating I have some experience there but a proper relationship... like I said, you got me.

But around 2 years back I totally stopped for around 18 months when I was in a commited relationship.
See, my problem is not I'm a bad guy (least I dont think I am) so when women do get to know me we get along fine... its the beginning that is hard for me which is why I came here.
Like I said before, I have been in many girls friend zones... because I'm pretty decent (again, personal opinion) but quite a few of them I wish I didnt go into the friend zone because these girls are/were "potentials" as well.

"Let me tell ya, it is not going to happen."
I wouldnt say that, I have friends in the biz and they are doing pretty well with their partners.

But if I cant hold a fcuking conversation with new girls, then it surely is NOT going to happen.

"You are going to attract the druggies, the wannabe porn girls, the girls with issues."
SERIOUSLY, check your cliché stash, you are running out.

"And not being able to have a normal adult relationship"
THAT IS NOT WHY I CAME HERE. I have HAD a "normal" adult relationship/s.

I want to learn how to talk easily to women and be smooth, be able to approach women and make friends-thats as clearly outlined as possible, please tell me you get it now?

@Thunder,
Thank you sir, you really have helped me with pointers and great advise. I'll reply to your comment in more detail a bit later as I seem to have already typed too much for today!

 

[cordoncordon]

Black people are lazy
Mexicans are stupid
Muslims are terrorists
old people are wise
young people are stupid
americans are stupid
hindus are peaceful
brazilians can dance
white men can't jump

@cordon, see how stupid the above is to generalize just based on a certain set of folk?
Thats how stupid your reply to me sounded.

"Most have issues"
Show me someone who does not have issues.

"are drug users"
I've been in the business for 4 years, the number of girls who do porn BECAUSE of their drug habit can be counted on on hand. Girls who first do porn and later get a drug habit on the other hand...

"aren't educated"
I wish you would tell some of them that, they might respond with words that are too big for you to understand.

"it's degrading"
"To women for doing it and for men who have to resort to it."
"which generally involves sketchy people"

Either you have been watching too much TV or been listening to the feminists and old geezer women in Swedish parliament - I do actually hope you are pulling my chain and not that gullible.

A *lot* of the women do it to feel more powerful, like sex and a million other reasons other than just money. Sure a percentage of them do it for the money, but not everyone.
You are generalizing about a set of folk you know absolutely NOTHING about and they would be as insulted as I am irritated by your statements.

"then like yesterday for example you go from shooting a porn to going to the strip club"
Have you been to Prague?
If not come on over, it should be a culture shock.
Guys come there with their girlfriends, the girls are more into checking out the strippers than the guys. Its not a slezy thing, its social, drinks are not really watered down and prices are decent.
Dont think of a texas titty bar (been there as well) this is a world of difference.

"How can you take THAT MUCH pornography?"
I didnt go there for the bare titties.. we went there just to party - the titties were just a bonus.

"Aren't you tired of the whole scene?"
Oh yes totally.
I'm 30 and I just dont know how I can like seeing beautiful women and sleeping with them with no strings attached. Its killing me inside like it would kill any other 30 year old guy. (/sarcasm)

"what self respecting, classy, smart, educated, family oriented, "normal" girl is ever going to want to date and have a relationship with a guy who does what you do?"

There you got me. Dating I have some experience there but a proper relationship... like I said, you got me.

But around 2 years back I totally stopped for around 18 months when I was in a commited relationship.
See, my problem is not I'm a bad guy (least I dont think I am) so when women do get to know me we get along fine... its the beginning that is hard for me which is why I came here.
Like I said before, I have been in many girls friend zones... because I'm pretty decent (again, personal opinion) but quite a few of them I wish I didnt go into the friend zone because these girls are/were "potentials" as well.

"Let me tell ya, it is not going to happen."
I wouldnt say that, I have friends in the biz and they are doing pretty well with their partners.

But if I cant hold a fcuking conversation with new girls, then it surely is NOT going to happen.

"You are going to attract the druggies, the wannabe porn girls, the girls with issues."
SERIOUSLY, check your cliché stash, you are running out.

"And not being able to have a normal adult relationship"
THAT IS NOT WHY I CAME HERE. I have HAD a "normal" adult relationship/s.

I want to learn how to talk easily to women and be smooth, be able to approach women and make friends-thats as clearly outlined as possible, please tell me you get it now?

@Thunder,
Thank you sir, you really have helped me with pointers and great advise. I'll reply to your comment in more detail a bit later as I seem to have already typed too much for today!

Let me first say I don't think you are a bad guy, and you seem pretty smart. But....I could respond to each and every point you made, but really, what is the point? You come here asking for help, and I am telling you straight up what the problems are. You are delusional if you think otherwise. Probably because you have been in that scene for so long, that it seems "normal" to you. Many people tend to rationalize what they do when they are in the middle of doing it. But take if from someone who is not in that scene, but who has dated a ton, had a ton of long term gf's, who has an MBA, who owns their own business making high 6 figures, andwho is very aware of what goes on in the world. What you are doing and the line of work you are in is not conducive to any type of normal relationship. Porn attracts druggies, girls with major issues, and criminals. If you can't admit that to yourself, you will never get what you want in life.

 

[PornPot]

@Thunder,

"Fear of rejection."
Yep.

"Fear of imperfection"
I guess so, but I could also define this as fear of losing an opportunity. Opportunity came knocking... and i didnt open the door.
I would of course like to say the *perfect thing* at the right time, but I do understand the "perfect thing" to say varies according to each situation (been reading here) and I first have to build up my conversation/social skills to come there.

Also been googling and came up on some youtube vids from Carlos Xuma, some pretty good stuff there.
And a lot of crap from ehow and ezines etc via google.

Thanks for the advise mate I really appreciate it, and as for "pook" slapping me... I dont know who that is but I sometimes feel I should do that to myself.
Its not really depression - just a heightened sense or irritation (best way I can describe it).

"Apologize only if you say something offensive, don't say sorry for everything."
That stuff is gold! I did do it in one of my casual relationships... and it went south so fast it was pathetic. And later analyzing it I felt PO'ed at myself. Wish I had got this advise before I started on that relationship.

"If you want to be truly successful with women then you can't be afraid of failure bottom line."
This is the part I guess that I need to train my brain on. Fear of failure or rejection (same thing?) is a big thing for me.

"Again sorry for going all over the place..."
And again, no worries I understand (I hope) what you were conveying and I appreciate it.

I have a shoot in a while, gotta get the cameras setup.

I do have a few more questions for you... but no time now.
See ya in a while!

 

[Thundernuts]

Anytime, and while i must admit i believe there is some truth in cordon words, with all the women out there, there is no way you can't find someone who will fit your needs.

the write brothers said something like

" a man who is fixated on doing everything right is a man who achieves nothing"

Just practice, don't let anything stop you from just getting out there and your gonna do fine. And about pook, well i guess he was some DJ who has been on this site for years but finally quit. There is a section of the DJ Bible called book of pook if you ever got some free time check it out, really inspirational stuff.

 

[PornPot]

Hey Thunder,
Yes, there is some truth in Cordon's words but for the most part it looks like the only way to talk about that with him is to kind of debate it. While I am all for debating with friends the net is not the best place to do so... so like he said: What is the point?
A friend sent me a very political incorrect image once.. but it was funny, I think it applies in this case:
Arguing on the internet is like winning the special olympics... you are still ret**ded (or something liek that)
We agree to disagree

Had a real fun shoot, would tell you guys more but I dont think that part is welcome here for a couple of reasons which I wont go into.
One of my mistakes I feel was actually mentioning what I do up front - perhaps I should have just said I was into IT and a geek and I feel I would have gotten more, and friendlier (not you thunder) help here.

To you guys who have messaged me, thank you! I have just been busy so have not had the chance to reply. But I have read and am trying to follow what you sent me - thank you for taking the time and the words of encouragement.

Been doing a LOT of reading here, I was soooo fcuking wrong on so many fronts when it comes to women. Also some youtube vids helped (I wont mention which ones because I am not sure about the rules here) The thing is, the more you think about it, the more you think "how could i have not known/thought of that?" and "why the heck did I think that? (the nice guy syndrome) "

My eyes are being opened but still need to actually put stuff into practice and I know I have a long way to go - but hey! If I can bury my head in code for days... I can learn this! Hopefully persistance is the key.

Gonna look about changing my appeareance to stand out a bit more, so a few questions:

What do you guys think of the shiny stone in the ear or some piercings? not a lot.. just one or two.

I taped myself talking, and I do have a weird accent because I have travelled so much and because I am a mixed blood... the indian part is still there under something else... I dont like that, perhaps I should talk slower and manage my words (I'm a quick speaker) ... or any other tip?
Have any of you taped yourself talking and your mannerisms to better yourself?

My questions seem to be running all over the place in my mind, so for now I'll just stick with the above three, but I also want to ask you guys how i could have handled some of the previous mentioned situations that I described in older posts... maybe in later posts?

I have been reading and rereading (and rereading...kind of drilling it in) a couple of really good articles here, a big thank you to those authors as well.

Thanks again!

 

[noyb2008]

Pornpot,

I was drawn to your thread by the subject title. Having now read it, I can only ascribe the replies to the fact that you have a particular lifestyle which is way out of the ordinary. To some of these guys, it's their fantasy. To the remainder, they feel good about themselves by being able to judge you. (It would not surprise me if some of these guys harboured a significant amount of jealousy.) If you are comfortable with what you do, and you do no harm to others, you can safely ignore the latter group. They are just noise.

Now, to address your issues.

First of all, I would say...

You sound a bit frantic in your posts, maybe even a little desperate if not frustrated. Calm down. Relax. You have nothing to worry about.

You are young. (I'm a lot older than you.) You are in decent shape. What this means is, there is plenty of time. Moreover, from what you have described, you should be in no doubt that you are an attractive man.

You have an immense advantage over most other would-be PUAs/DJs whatever. And that is - you are having regular sex with very attractive, young women. There is no pressure on yourself to get laid. That is already being taken care of.

I understand completely how banging porn stars is not satisfying you. Having to pay means that subconsciously you are accepting that the girl wants your money and not you. One of the biggest turn ons is to be wanted. Especially for guys, what we want from girls just as much as, if not more than their bodies, is for them to willingly give of themselves, their female energy, their femininity. When a woman surrenders in this way, to our masculinity, it feels great! So paradoxically, even though you have these women, you don't really have them. Their bodies are not enough for you. Nor should they be.

I am partially nerd myself and an ex-very nice guy. It was a lethal combination - lethal to me that is. So I get how this means you can not have the 'soft' success with women whilst you have all the 'hard' success you can handle.

To solve your 'problem';

Take the pressure off yourself. This is not something that is going to be fixed overnight or in a week. This is a long-term project which you have to approach diligently.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, but I suspect that in relation to where you are coming from, it is probably disjointed and fragmented. It seems like you are searching for this one magic key that will open the door and the guys are throwing keys left right and centre at you whilst you scramble to pick each one up and then try the lock with it.
Why not consider yourself a complete beginner? (Again, I was older than you when I started doing my own game research and then later on discovered the community. And trust me, when I started, I was almost completely clueless.) Why not then start from the beginning. I therefore suggest that you therefore pick a methodology (there are plenty of them - direct vs indirect, Mystery Method, ****y and funny, Mode One, Franco's stuff, Carlos Xuma, Gunwitch, David X, Juggler, RSD, etc. etc. I believe there is even a Don Juan manual on this site.)

There's no magic with any particular method (though some are better than others - depends on your belief system and who you are). But what it does give you is a framework with which you can plan your campaign. It's like having a map of the territory you are going to explore. Maybe further down the line, you'll use another map as you feel it fits your environment better. Eventually, when you are thoroughly familiar with the landscape, you can discard all these maps. You will have built a better one in your own mind. You will have found your own style.

I won't comment on your particular interaction with the strippers. (Strippers would count as advanced game. Remember, these are women whose job it is to make every guy feel that he is somehow special and different and of course she feels a real attraction for you and is going to give you her number and so on and so on. Been there, done that.)

Pick a method. Study it. PRACTISE IT. Observe the results. Then go out and do it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. The results you seek will only be a matter of time.

There's a lot more I could say but this post is getting long.

Good luck my friend.

 

[PornPot]

I was drawn to your thread by the subject title. Having now read it, I can only ascribe the replies to the fact that you have a particular lifestyle which is way out of the ordinary. To some of these guys, it's their fantasy. To the remainder, they feel good about themselves by being able to judge you. (It would not surprise me if some of these guys harboured a significant amount of jealousy.) If you are comfortable with what you do, and you do no harm to others, you can safely ignore the latter group.

Thank you, I wont comment on much of what you said as I dont want even more negativity towards me but no, I don't harm others. I don't work with girls who have drug problems.
Heck! I give to charity and am a wildlife conservationist!:rockon:

The other day I had to cancel a 3 some with two girls because I wanted to shoot someone else, they called me back telling me that they are willing to lower the price as they need to shoot on that particular day (for whatever reason - and keep in mind i have a good name in the industry, although i'm not "big time"), I understood they needed the shoot so I paid them half (without touching them) and told them that I would pay the full agreed upon price when we do shoot but I cannot shoot them on the day they wanted as the girl I wanted to shoot was available only on that day.

If I wanted I could have screwed them over on the money as I know they needed the job/shoot, but I didnt... seriously, there are a lot of bad guys out there and not only in the pron industry who take advantage of women, for me (and for them) its a job, we have to buy groceries and pay rent just like everyone else.

Now, to address your issues.

First of all, I would say...

You sound a bit frantic in your posts, maybe even a little desperate if not frustrated.

No argument from me there - I dont know about desperate, but very irritated as to why i cant "get it" and definitely frustrated.

Calm down. Relax. You have nothing to worry about.

Easier said than done

You are young. (I'm a lot older than you.) You are in decent shape. What this means is, there is plenty of time. Moreover, from what you have described, you should be in no doubt that you are an attractive man.

I used to think that, but you know with my lack of success in meeting new people (unless introduced) I figured maybe... you know.

You have an immense advantage over most other would-be PUAs/DJs whatever. And that is - you are having regular sex with very attractive, young women. There is no pressure on yourself to get laid. That is already being taken care of.

Yep, believe it or not when shooting a lot, I actually look forward to the no-pressure days of when I have a one day gap in shooting (roughly every 3rd day).

I understand completely how banging porn stars is not satisfying you. Having to pay means that subconsciously you are accepting that the girl wants your money and not you. One of the biggest turn ons is to be wanted. Especially for guys, what we want from girls just as much as, if not more than their bodies, is for them to willingly give of themselves, their female energy, their femininity. When a woman surrenders in this way, to our masculinity, it feels great! So paradoxically, even though you have these women, you don't really have them. Their bodies are not enough for you. Nor should they be.

That was good, its like you were reading from my mind. Spot on the nail, bingo! Etc...
Sometimes while shooting the models have a good time and they start "responding" then I like the shoot better. But for the most part, its same old.
I can be more descriptive here as to what I mean but again I am not sure if it would p!ss some people off.

This is a long-term project which you have to approach diligently.

Mentally I've prepared myself for it.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, but I suspect that in relation to where you are coming from, it is probably disjointed and fragmented. It seems like you are searching for this one magic key that will open the door and the guys are throwing keys left right and centre at you whilst you scramble to pick each one up and then try the lock with it.

It is a bit hard to keep up, and its pretty much as you describe it.

Why not consider yourself a complete beginner?

No worries, there is no question of pride here. I want to learn no matter what it takes - if it takes putting on a white belt and slowly changing colors - so be it.

Why not then start from the beginning.

Sure! But where the heck is the beginning? Thats what I am been searching for.
I mean look at Thunders replies to me, fantastic advise, most friendly, to the point (heck I love that guy!) but still I'm floundering to find the beginning

"Methodology " -ok, where do I get these? I think I had mystery method in one of my ebooks for a while but I never really went through it as I thought its really old (I have had it for ages without opening it).
CAn all of these be found via ebooks or..?
Been playing Xuma's videos on youtube for hours trying to take in what he says, will search for the other guys you mentioned.
Will also search for the DJ Manual.
Thank you again!

Quick question, do you suggest I pick all of them up and read through all and pick a method or pick one up try it and if it fails pick the next one?

No no, not the strippers, but would appreciate a comment on the girls I met AT the strip joint. A bunch of college girls from Belgium who I bought a couple of beers and was chatting with...

Pick a method. Study it. PRACTISE IT. Observe the results. Then go out and do it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. The results you seek will only be a matter of time.

Thanks!

There's a lot more I could say but this post is getting long.

No worries, I dont think they will ever reach the length of my replies or posts

Good luck my friend.

Thank you my friend!

 

[cordoncordon]

Thank you, I wont comment on much of what you said as I dont want even more negativity towards me but no, I don't harm others. I don't work with girls who have drug problems.
Heck! I give to charity and am a wildlife conservationist!:rockon:

The other day I had to cancel a 3 some with two girls because I wanted to shoot someone else, they called me back telling me that they are willing to lower the price as they need to shoot on that particular day (for whatever reason - and keep in mind i have a good name in the industry, although i'm not "big time"), I understood they needed the shoot so I paid them half (without touching them) and told them that I would pay the full agreed upon price when we do shoot but I cannot shoot them on the day they wanted as the girl I wanted to shoot was available only on that day.

If I wanted I could have screwed them over on the money as I know they needed the job/shoot, but I didnt... seriously, there are a lot of bad guys out there and not only in the pron industry who take advantage of women, for me (and for them) its a job, we have to buy groceries and pay rent just like everyone else.





No argument from me there - I dont know about desperate, but very irritated as to why i cant "get it" and definitely frustrated.


Easier said than done


I used to think that, but you know with my lack of success in meeting new people (unless introduced) I figured maybe... you know.



Yep, believe it or not when shooting a lot, I actually look forward to the no-pressure days of when I have a one day gap in shooting (roughly every 3rd day).


That was good, its like you were reading from my mind. Spot on the nail, bingo! Etc...
Sometimes while shooting the models have a good time and they start "responding" then I like the shoot better. But for the most part, its same old.
I can be more descriptive here as to what I mean but again I am not sure if it would p!ss some people off.



Mentally I've prepared myself for it.



It is a bit hard to keep up, and its pretty much as you describe it.


No worries, there is no question of pride here. I want to learn no matter what it takes - if it takes putting on a white belt and slowly changing colors - so be it.


Sure! But where the heck is the beginning? Thats what I am been searching for.
I mean look at Thunders replies to me, fantastic advise, most friendly, to the point (heck I love that guy!) but still I'm floundering to find the beginning

"Methodology " -ok, where do I get these? I think I had mystery method in one of my ebooks for a while but I never really went through it as I thought its really old (I have had it for ages without opening it).
CAn all of these be found via ebooks or..?
Been playing Xuma's videos on youtube for hours trying to take in what he says, will search for the other guys you mentioned.
Will also search for the DJ Manual.
Thank you again!

Quick question, do you suggest I pick all of them up and read through all and pick a method or pick one up try it and if it fails pick the next one?

No no, not the strippers, but would appreciate a comment on the girls I met AT the strip joint. A bunch of college girls from Belgium who I bought a couple of beers and was chatting with...



Thanks!

No worries, I dont think they will ever reach the length of my replies or posts

Thank you my friend!

You guys can debate and talk about this all you want, but the bottom line is, and this is 100% accurate, you will never have the kind of relationship you want with an intelligent, attractive, classy, woman, as long as you do what you do for a profession. You can try to justify what you do and talk about all the people in that type of job who aren't criminals, or aren't druggies, but I can promise you as soon as you tell any self-respecting, mature women what you do, they will run for the hills.

Now, you should be able to get better at talking to and interacting with normal everyday women, and this site can help, but again, it really isn't going to get you anywhere. Because as soon as they ask what you do and you tell them, "I pay women to have sex with me while I shoot porno's", its byebye time.

Plus, you mentioned how superficial the sex is. Hello???? That is exactly what your entire life is! That is what your interaction with these porn women is! It's all superficial BS. These women are only nice to you and having sex with you because you pay them. Not because they like you for who you are. And deep down you know this, so there is no real impetus on either the woman's part, nor your part, to get to know the other or to engage in some real down to earth communication. In the back of everyone's mind its, "ok, lets get this fluff talk over so we can fvck and wrap this up". This type of behavior leads to the issues you are having now with normal women-your inability to go beyond the superficial and to find out what really makes each other tick.

I'm just telling you flat out that you are going to get no where until you find another profession. And trust me, I am not jealous. Take a look in the what is an 8 thread, some pics of my long term gf there. As hot or hotter than any of those slvt porn stars, and she's an accountant.

 

[Thundernuts]

My pornographic friend, best of luck to you, all i can really say is that you are gonna fail, then your gonna have that moment where its gonna click, from there your skills will only grow.

Its like a sore ****, you just can't beat it.

As far as any ebooks your thinking about purchasing, read up on them before you start buying them, alot of them just give you the same advice over and over, wich is ****y and funny. Hopefully youll find something that works for you.

And one more thing, I've been doing alot of thinking, it doesn't sound to me like you are looking for someone to marry, more like you just want a real relationship, with real sex, real emotions(maybe you are looking for marriage) another word would be that perhaps you should look into a different career field, i mean sounds to me like you would have no problem just running a website and finding actors and all that. All im really suggesting is that since you have experience in more than just sex you might be able to make a career out of that. Definately increase your chances but whatever you wanna do, good luck.

 

[PornPot]

You know Cordon,
I thought I would just not respond to you and that would be that... but you do have a way of getting under a persons skin - and I'm a bit bored so... here's my reply (although not in full) and as polite as possible :

and this is 100% accurate

Citation needed.

Now, you should be able to get better at talking to and interacting with normal everyday women, and this site can help,

I'm being positive about this, if the above is true, thats all I can ask for at this stage and it can only get better.

it really isn't going to get you anywhere.

Based on vast studies done by you and...? [again citation needed]

I actually met a rocket scientist once... and as you can imagine, he was a real clever guy. I asked him many questions and patiently waited while he spewed some of his logic into my eager mind, and that was it.
I never really commented about his world because... I didnt know sh!t about it. Does this ring any bells?

"ok, lets get this fluff talk over so we can fvck and wrap this up".

Do you have any idea how long is a normal shoot? Let me give you a clue, its no where close to what you see as the final product.

A single scene can go on for hours for a 20-30 min final product, and in-between this you have loads of time talking to the models and interacting, joking, laughing and what not. No pressure - you know what you are going to do.

We also fcuk when the cameras are not running.. as when we are coping the disks to computer backup or changing lights. We also joke while fcuking - yes, i know, news to you.

A lot of them have boyfriends, husbands, children etc and just like being out of the house and having fun (I AM a good lay (been told this), I give good head (practice) and if needed I can not *** for ages and can be hard for ages without tablets).
Please stop commenting about stuff you have no idea in the world about.

You seem to like throwing your achievements and background around, I come from the porn and IT industry... seriously, you want to talk money? Innovation? contacts?

As for hot women, tell me the age (18-35) you like them at (or the body type) and I'll send you dozens of models that you can rate... all of who I have banged and have proof on film. 8's? 9's? 10's? you decide.
Note that I dont only bang porn stars, but first timers too, even virgins so lets not talk about the "quality of women" based on looks either please.
A lot of these women have other jobs, or are studying... everything from hairdressing to law... and yes, accounting since you seem to think thats some sort of pinnacle.

Once introduced I have little trouble with women in and out of the industry, but walking up to or meeting new women in the "wild" thats where I DO have trouble and why I came here for help as well as 'steering' conversations as I run dry (and panic) pretty soon with "normal" girls. There I have little doubt your skills are x times x better than me... and yes, that is frustrating that I am so bad at it.

In all other aspects... I am pretty much a normal guy like everyone else, nothing slick about me, not flashy either.:wave:

 

[PornPot]

@Thunder, if I do find the right person, and if my damn brain actually recognizes that its the right person.. I have no problem leaving the industry.

Been there done that, no real biggie.

Thank you again for responding my friend, I really appreciate your input no matter what.