Pook always talks about becoming a better man, but how do you do that?

[Shivastorm_88]

He always rambles about self-improvement, embracing your sexuality, to act more like a man, live you dreams, go out more, all this to become a better, more complete man. However, how am I supposed to drastically change who I am, to start going on a quest to self-improvement, to embrace my sexuality, to act more like a man, etc?

The dream part and go out more that's obvious, but what of the other aspects?


I could easily make a list of characteristics of myself that I want to lose or gain, but once that list is made I can't just magically make them appear or go away, I know it takes time and work, but I just don't know how to achieve it. Same goes with embracing your sexuality. How am I supposed to change my view on things and start thinking and acting sexual if I've never done this before?

 

[Maximus Rex]

You have to do a serious introspection and find what areas you need to improve on for example:

1) If your fat, get with a nutrionist, join a gym, alter your diet, and excerise.
2) If your wardobe is effed. Buy better clothes.
3) If your shy. Confront your retinence and talk to chicks.
4) Talk to your friends and wings and asked what areas you need to improve on.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

You have to do a serious introspection and find what areas you need to improve on for example:

1) If your fat, get with a nutrionist, join a gym, alter your diet, and excerise.
2) If your wardobe is effed. Buy better clothes.
3) If your shy. Confront your retinence and talk to chicks.
4) Talk to your friends and wings and asked what areas you need to improve on.

I already did that on some level. Here is what it gave:

1) Obviously, buy nicer clothes
2) Bulk up to 200lbs (currently 180lbs @ 5'11'', 12% BF)
but these parts are superficial and easy to do. The others are:
3) shyness - I have a hard time approaching random people, and knowing that obviously isn't enough since I still can't get myself to approach that hot girl in my class. I really don't know how to improve that.
4) Over-Analyzing - I tend to plan ahead what I will say or how I will act. I know it's dumb but I do it. The only way I can think to fix this is to, when I realize I'm planing something, stop planing it and thinking about it
5) Impulsiveness - I guess it goes hand in hand with the other one, I over-analyze stuff too much and don't act on sheer instinct/impulses. I should learn to do so, but yet again, I don't know how.

That's just a few examples, but as you can see, I don't really have a clue on how to improve them. And also I never have done a very serious introspection, I feel like it's only on a more superficial level. How could I do a really serious/deep one?

 

[Interceptor]

OK, great start so far.

You have to find out what is you dream. What is your purpose in life?
What do people mean when they say "Act and Think with your Higher Self?"


What do you want to achieve in your life?

Write these things down.
DO not skip this part.


You have to go back and find out what were the causes for your shyness.
What made you shy in the first place?

Overnalyzing.
OK, well..my gut feeling is that if you're overanalyzing you are too concentrated on looking good. On not making mistakes. You are concentrated on the outcome wayyy tooo much, and you need to look perfect in front of everyone.
You always want to be right, and never want to take a risk and just trust in your iner guidance, and your experience.
Experience in life circumstances breeds confidence.

Impulsiveness.
Impulsiveness should be tempered with wisdom.
Wisdom comes from experience.
If you don't have experience in a certain area of life , it does make perfect sense to be hesitant.
However, sometimes you have to let go of the censoring, and analyzing and go with the flow.
Since you are concerned with security and how yiou will be perceived by others ,this has become increasingly difficult for you. To just let go.
You still have too much fear, and apprehension.
You need to create confidence in yourself by placing yourself in situations in which you are tested.
You may want to consider taking up Martial Art training. I am 100% serious.
You will be tested,. You will learn how to control your emotions. And you will build confidence in your sefl. Real confidence.

You have to reprogram your mind and subnconscious and release those self limiting beliefs, and replace them with encouraging positive ones.

Your main problem that I see is that you haveyet to internalize all this. You've adressed the superficial levels, but as you guessed, it's time to go deeper.

May I suggest:


Listen to ALL these MP3s. Save them on your PC, and listen to them as much as possible with headphones. Every day for the next month.


http://www.hypnotica.org/privatedownloads.htm

http://www.theinnergameguru.com/

Listen to this:
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/audio.asp


Investigate this:

http://www.mindzoom.net/?hop=haanel01

Read this:

http://www.becomingapua.com/2007/05/28/superior-man-seminar-zan-perrion/

And defintiely, most defintiely DO TRY THIS!:
http://www.innergametapping.com/


Start here. Let me know how else I can help you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I already did that on some level. Here is what it gave:

1) Obviously, buy nicer clothes
2) Bulk up to 200lbs (currently 180lbs @ 5'11'', 12% BF)
but these parts are superficial and easy to do. The others are:
3) shyness - I have a hard time approaching random people, and knowing that obviously isn't enough since I still can't get myself to approach that hot girl in my class. I really don't know how to improve that.
4) Over-Analyzing - I tend to plan ahead what I will say or how I will act. I know it's dumb but I do it. The only way I can think to fix this is to, when I realize I'm planing something, stop planing it and thinking about it
5) Impulsiveness - I guess it goes hand in hand with the other one, I over-analyze stuff too much and don't act on sheer instinct/impulses. I should learn to do so, but yet again, I don't know how.

That's just a few examples, but as you can see, I don't really have a clue on how to improve them. And also I never have done a very serious introspection, I feel like it's only on a more superficial level. How could I do a really serious/deep one?

I'd invert the list. Better seldom starts from the outside. :nono:

 

[Maximus Rex]

Get These Two Books

Buy these two books, How To Succeed With Women, Ron Louis and David Copeland and Think and Grow Rick, by Napoleon Hill.

The only way to combat shyness is start random conversations with strangers.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

OK, great start so far.

You have to find out what is you dream. What is your purpose in life?
What do people mean when they say "Act and Think with your Higher Self?"


What do you want to achieve in your life?

Write these things down.
DO not skip this part.


You have to go back and find out what were the causes for your shyness.
What made you shy in the first place?

Overnalyzing.
OK, well..my gut feeling is that if you're overanalyzing you are too concentrated on looking good. On not making mistakes. You are concentrated on the outcome wayyy tooo much, and you need to look perfect in front of everyone.
You always want to be right, and never want to take a risk and just trust in your iner guidance, and your experience.
Experience in life circumstances breeds confidence.

Impulsiveness.
Impulsiveness should be tempered with wisdom.
Wisdom comes from experience.
If you don't have experience in a certain area of life , it does make perfect sense to be hesitant.
However, sometimes you have to let go of the censoring, and analyzing and go with the flow.
Since you are concerned with security and how yiou will be perceived by others ,this has become increasingly difficult for you. To just let go.
You still have too much fear, and apprehension.
You need to create confidence in yourself by placing yourself in situations in which you are tested.
You may want to consider taking up Martial Art training. I am 100% serious.
You will be tested,. You will learn how to control your emotions. And you will build confidence in your sefl. Real confidence.

My purpose in life
Right now I only have one true passion: Bodybuilding. Other than that, I don’t have any big passion. I do have some light hobbies, like reading, or going out with friends, but I mostly waste my time on the computer, video games or television. I know I shouldn’t and I want to change this, but it’s so hard to break a habit and I don’t know where to start.

What I want to achieve in life
I want to succeed in what I will attempt. First I want to find a career that suits me and that I will be happy in it, and once I have done so, I want to truly excel in that career. I also want to live a full life, rich in experiments, like trips, raise a family, etc. Finally, I want to find a way to leave my mark. Perhaps a good way would be by writing a novel, I always loved writing.

Shyness
As far as I can recall, I have always been shy. However, I am only shy with strangers. I mean, I have a very hard time approaching or talking to strangers, but once I get to know the person a little, I lose most of my shyness. However it doesn’t happen in a matter of minutes, more in a matter of seeing the person a few times. I have to find ways to get over this feeling of shyness created probably because I feel everyone is judging me.

Overanalyzing
I think you are 100% right here, I think subconsciously, I do want to look good and perfect in front of everyone. That’s what I’m trying to deprogram. I think that by overanalyzing everything, I want to reduce the chances that I will make mistakes and look stupid. I guess that is the reason I analyze everything and plan everything ahead. Deep down, even if I say I don’t care, I probably do care about what others think of me.

Impulsiveness
Like I said before, this goes hand in hand with overanalyzing. I am overanalyzing everything because I am scared of what others will think of me, therefore I do not act upon my impulses. Thus, I have to build a new level of confidence by constantly testing myself. Martial arts is a good way, and I always wanted to do some, but I also have to find other ways can I test myself (mild tests at first). However, it’s hard to find how I can do this.


Basically I guess once I fix those two aspects I will be far better off because I will be able to actually approach girls, and therefore gain experience and develop the other aspects that Pook mentions (being a man, being sexual, etc). Right now, having that in mind will never do me good if I do not dare approach, and that is why I have to fix those three aspects (shyness, overanalyzing and impulsiveness). Basically I know what causes these three negative traits that I want to get rid, but I don’t really have any concrete ideas (other maybe than try a martial art) of how to get rid of them. That’s how far I am so far. Of course I will give a try to the MP3, but in the meantime, I’d appreciate if you could give me more input.

By the way, should I listen to all the mp3 on the first and second link?

 

[Shivastorm_88]

I'd invert the list. Better seldom starts from the outside. :nono:

uh? sorry but I'm getting tired and I just don't understand -_-

 

[Interceptor]

Listen to ALL these MP3s. Save them on your PC, and listen to them as much as possible with headphones. Every day for the next month.

:wave:

 

[Shivastorm_88]

:wave:

Alright will do :yes: but what about the other stuff I wrote? you got any input on that? You actually helped me figure out some stuff in your first post so I'd like to get more opinions from you if possible

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

uh? sorry but I'm getting tired and I just don't understand -_-

The first thing you listed was "buy new clothes" and the last was "work on your impulsiveness." You'll get more bang for your buck on working on the last things on your list first.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

The first thing you listed was "buy new clothes" and the last was "work on your impulsiveness." You'll get more bang for your buck on working on the last things on your list first.

Oh I know, they weren't in any specific order

 

[The Inside Man]

most things like this happen in small, incremental steps. Don't get overwhelmed. Write down specific daily goals like "approach 3 girls" "do 250 pushups", etc..

EDIT I see youre into bodybuilding, thats a great way to meet people, become involved with the gym... Having different social circles has been really important to me in picking up girls and life in general.

 

[JDA70]

Bro... get rid of that Shyness.
It's a killer.
How do you do it?
Stop that little voice in the back of
your mind telling you stuff that ain't true
like people are judging you or that people think
your some kind of freek. Stop seeking approval.
Face your fear. Just do it.
Get control of your thoughts.


IF you have a little cash to spend then I suggest
Carlos Xuma's - Secrets of the Alpha Male.
http://www.alphaconfidence.com/