pof meet up, sudden loss of interest. i've been downgraded?

[pete101]

ok so i followed naughty ninja's method of pof dating.. i followed his suggestion and got the number on he 3rd message as expected. (i got it a week ago)

problem is that she was away abroad until yesterday and i text her last weds my number

me: hey there HB, this is my number it's the most important no. you'll ever save.. pete. x
her: haha thanks ;-)

friday

me: we should get together for a drink, where in town are you based and when do you get back? i'll choose somewhere equidistant for us both. Pete. x
her: hey pete , i am free after christmas and i dont mind meeting you somewhere central. i am based near (place)
me: cool, we'll go for a drink in (place) in that case. there's a lot of nice little posh pubs and bars there. pete. x
her: sounds good

so i leave it and wait till today to set up the date

6pm me: merry xmas HB let's get together for that drink tomorrow or Thurs. im not going shoppping tomorrow so i can meet u during the day (there's a train strike tho_, how's 3pm in x place? x

6 hours later her: hey pete, sorry i am replying so late. i just finished volunteering for tonight in the homless centre. i wont be able to meet up tomorrow as i am volunteering again. hope you had a good christmas and speak to you soon. HB

5 mins later me: that's very caring of you, good to hear , i mentioned tomorrow OR Thursday though. im busy during the day on Thurs but can do in the evening at 7, how's then? x

2 mins later her: i will let you know tomorrow as i need to check something first, ok? x

i haven't replied, nor am i going to.

ok now if we're being honest here this isn't cool.. yes she seems great voluntterring on christmas and boxind day BUT she did not offer a direct counter offer nor did she mention Thursday when i originally brought it up.. low IL it sounds like OR more likely with so many msgs since i've got the number i'm probably not her priority anymore or her number 1 choice. it's pof.. it's going to happen.

it seems to me that her 'checking something first' is to see if her other date is still on for that night. bottom line irrespective of her being good hearted volunteering she did not counter offer a time which in my books is unacceptable.

am i right to just not reply? her 'x' at the end is a way to keep me sweet.. i've noticed women do this when they want a favorable response.

i'll prob need to call her at some point as it should maybe reduce flaking befor ei meet her. but for now she's on no contact. if she's interested she'll text tomorrow saying yes without me responding now

 

[Renegade357]

This is called a flake with no counter offer. If she really wanted to see you it would happen. Likely another guy in the picture. Drop her.

 

[alpha_ash]

The *****es on POF have guys breathing down their throats, through the gastrointestinal tract, and out the rectum. Don't invest yourself at all with the *****es on there until they delete their account on their OWN after meeting you.

 

[zinc4]

you haven't even met her yet...who cares..next unless she goes out of her way to invite you....on POF, it is pretty easy to set up several of these if you are in a big city...no worries, just some online strangter

 

[pete101]

im amazed so quickly though, i'm pretty sure she only arrived back on sunday or yesterday so she wouldn't have had time to meet another guy unless it was yesterday.

it does surprise me how quickly things change over a few days especially when the chick is abroad. seemed like she had such high IL as well, gave the number on asking. maybe she's an attention wh0re with no intention of meeting any guys but will happily give her number out.

i guess by me taking a stance of not replying to that it tells her i'm not accepting a wait for an answer tomorrow.. even a 'ok' is likely to validate her and ignoring her is the best policy though we've never even met.

damn.. shame she is super hot though.

ok i'll leave it a week or so and try to meet her once more, failing that number deleted. i just got anticpation they're tryna set something up so they're not alone on new years.

she surely has to come back to me to offer a time? im not chasing for the time being.. but given i've never met her and she's off pof i think the no contact tactic isn't really gona work.

i just need to not look desperate or keen.

 

[foreverAFC]

you're not getting the hint bro, she isnt interested

 

[VladPatton]

Frosted Flakes, PoF flavored!

Let her do some legwork too if she wants to meet up. For now, NC her.

 

[the_stig]

Don't invest yourself at all with the *****es on there until they delete their account on their OWN after meeting you.

And that will basically never happen. They'll let a suitable mate walk before they give up the limitless options and attention that online dating corrupts into their soul.

 

[BeDJ]

And that will basically never happen. They'll let a suitable mate walk before they give up the limitless options and attention that online dating corrupts into their soul.

Physical attraction first. Once you meet up and present value, you will be the one to decide when to drop her. Also, don't buy into the "all women on POF are slvts" mantra.

 

[pete101]

i realize now that i shouldn't have replied in the first place and taken the hint when she didn't counter offer with a time.. it just makes me look too available and keen when she's shown no interest.. for all i know she could be lying to make herself look good i.e. the volunteering.

also i just realized from our text interaction that she could have well been back when i messaged her on Friday.. she never actually said when she was going to be back she just said when she's free i.e. after xmas.. which to me explains how she could have met someone else in between.. plenty of time between friday and today.. any way im over analyzing.

i haven't responded to her last text and nor will i.. no contact now. leave it for 2 weeks at least, maybe forget it all together

 

[Renegade357]

i realize now that i shouldn't have replied in the first place and taken the hint when she didn't counter offer with a time..

Broken date without a counter is a mortal sin. That being said you haven't met her in person yet. If she comes back to you with a firm counter hat in hand take it. Until then don't waste your time. Any effort you put into this from now on will be counter-productive I think. It's much better to just find a new girl who will actually follow through with her plans.

 

[incognito42]

NEVER fret over a pof girl flaking. Ive learned that if you fall out of contact for 48+ hours your typical pof girl will almost alwys flake or lose interest

Just move on dude. You seem to be doing well with naughty ninjas method but perhaps th most important aspect of his method is to keep it moving. Don't get bogged down with ANY one chick and move onto the next one

 

[incognito42]

You're way too invested, she likely has sent nude pics to 5 other guys, deleted your number and barely remembers you

You hav to not take things personally, or be sensitive, which you already have been.

I've had doZens of chicks send their number after 3 messages, send nude pics after 3 hours and having phone sex and begging to meet up and fvck after 2-3 days and then I don't text them for 2 days and they barely remember who I am when I text again. Having "high IL" doesn't really exist on pof. No matter what thy say or send you before you meet, they only really have a high interest in getting attention.

Btw I doubt she is "really hot". The hb5-7s comprise 90% of the upper echelon bytches on pof. There's hb8s here and there, and the hb9/10s are very few and far between and extremely selective or just using pof for entertainment. I could b wrong but would love to see a pic

im amazed so quickly though, i'm pretty sure she only arrived back on sunday or yesterday so she wouldn't have had time to meet another guy unless it was yesterday.

it does surprise me how quickly things change over a few days especially when the chick is abroad. seemed like she had such high IL as well, gave the number on asking. maybe she's an attention wh0re with no intention of meeting any guys but will happily give her number out.

i guess by me taking a stance of not replying to that it tells her i'm not accepting a wait for an answer tomorrow.. even a 'ok' is likely to validate her and ignoring her is the best policy though we've never even met.

damn.. shame she is super hot though.

ok i'll leave it a week or so and try to meet her once more, failing that number deleted. i just got anticpation they're tryna set something up so they're not alone on new years.

she surely has to come back to me to offer a time? im not chasing for the time being.. but given i've never met her and she's off pof i think the no contact tactic isn't really gona work.

i just need to not look desperate or keen.

 

[pete101]

NEVER fret over a pof girl flaking. Ive learned that if you fall out of contact for 48+ hours your typical pof girl will almost alwys flake or lose interest

Just move on dude. You seem to be doing well with naughty ninjas method but perhaps th most important aspect of his method is to keep it moving. Don't get bogged down with ANY one chick and move onto the next one

no im doing terrible with his method.. it's not the method.. it's me.. my pics.. nothing i can do.. i send 100s of msgs and barely get 1-2 responses.. it just so happens i got 2 numbers but both flakes. it's just surprising that she is all flakey.. but i see why now, there's always someone else better looking more interesting than you on there so you have to accept that unless you're really good looking your game means f all..

she was treating me as an option so i wont make her a priority.

 

[pete101]

You're way too invested, she likely has sent nude pics to 5 other guys, deleted your number and barely remembers you

You hav to not take things personally, or be sensitive, which you already have been.

I've had doZens of chicks send their number after 3 messages, send nude pics after 3 hours and having phone sex and begging to meet up and fvck after 2-3 days and then I don't text them for 2 days and they barely remember who I am when I text again. Having "high IL" doesn't really exist on pof. No matter what thy say or send you before you meet, they only really have a high interest in getting attention.

Btw I doubt she is "really hot". The hb5-7s comprise 90% of the upper echelon bytches on pof. There's hb8s here and there, and the hb9/10s are very few and far between and extremely selective or just using pof for entertainment. I could b wrong but would love to see a pic

i agree with what you say. you're right.

im just annoyed cos im not having much success on there so seem to cling on to my 1-2 that i do get numbers off. odds are low.

she is hot.. well my opinion anyway.. i dont know what rating scale you use but i'd say she was a 7 out of 10 on my scale although 9 or 10 out of 10 doesn't exist in my books.. or at most victoria secret models.. if i say that a VS model is a 9 then she's a 7 in my books. great body too.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Dude... IT'S THE HOLIDAYS. People are busy - u shouldn't be setting dates with new girls until after New Year's. On the off chance that she IS volunteering, she's busy doing holiday stuff and not focused on u or getting to know someone new. Wait til after the new year to hit her up for a date again - and when you do, make it a PHONE CALL.

 

[omega05]

Dude... IT'S THE HOLIDAYS. People are busy - u shouldn't be setting dates with new girls until after New Year's. On the off chance that she IS volunteering, she's busy doing holiday stuff and not focused on u or getting to know someone new. Wait til after the new year to hit her up for a date again - and when you do, make it a PHONE CALL.

this. everyone is so quick to say throw her away because she's volunteering during the holidays.
I mean sh!t, notice how the OP puts the number of minutes/hours it takes for her to respond.

 

[pdx1138]

And that will basically never happen. They'll let a suitable mate walk before they give up the limitless options and attention that online dating corrupts into their soul.

agreed! I've seen a few of my sisters friends (who live with their boyfriends!) on POF when I'm browsing.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

no im doing terrible with his method.. it's not the method.. it's me.. my pics.. nothing i can do.. i send 100s of msgs and barely get 1-2 responses.. it just so happens i got 2 numbers but both flakes. it's just surprising that she is all flakey.. but i see why now, there's always someone else better looking more interesting than you on there so you have to accept that unless you're really good looking your game means f all..

she was treating me as an option so i wont make her a priority.

Dude all you have to do is guage by how many view your profile and do not respond (could be your pics aren't that bad but something turns them off about one of your pics or something you wrote on your profile that comes off negative and you may not realize it.) If they VIEW you it could only be one pic or something you wrote on your profile.

Or if they don't view your profile at all it could be definately your pics only as they aren't even looking at your profile and then you know you need better pictures of yourself looking your best DOING THINGS. Ex: Not just alone self pics.

Or if you get nasty responses it could just be the opener you are using.

If its nasty responses. (They don't like the opener you specifically are using so use a different one.)

If you get NO VIEWS they are just deleting based off of your pictures and you know you'll need better looking ones, ones with friends doing things like activities and ONE alone self pic. (Not all alone self taken pics)

If you get views they are reading the message and looking at your profile so then you know it's either your pics, something you wrote in your profile and or it could be just ONE of your pics.

A small change could make a serious difference in responses based on the above points.

MOST chicks on their use angles, shade, makeup, flattering poses, their best looking pics, old pics etc. So they may see ONE pic of you far away...and another close up of you wearing a hat and knowing they are faking the funk with their best camoflaged etc. pics will AUTOMATICALLY make them think something like. "Oh a far away pic." (He's ugly or fat) Oh he's got a pic with a hat on. "He must be balding or have some lump on his head and it's his most recent" "Oh a self taken pic. He must have no friends and is a creeper pervert loooooser." even if it's not the case AT ALL. Because they expect dudes to be doing the same pic tricks they are doing unless they are all close up, looking built/cut up, doing activities with friends. etc THEN they think "Oh he's HAWT!"

You need to figure out where you are possibly doing "wrong" and make small tweaks and "corrections" and things start changing drastically on there for you. You'll wind up making one or a few small changes and be like: Ex: " WTF?! That change made the difference?! A fvcking pic wearing a hat?!"

God as my witness the chicks on there are straight up freaks. ALL OF THEM. It depends on who brings it out for them.

Literally over about 130 chicks from all over the US I've gotten n00dz, videos, had phone convos (dirty as hell talk) etc.

Don't EVER stress over chicks who use online dating. Where do you think undercover freaks "hang out"? Online. All ex myspace wh0res, Adult Friend finder chicks have all migrated there. Town cvm dumpsters looking for a dude(s) whom their social circle would never find out they fvcked.

Chicks online are to be used for practice in BSing with, possibly meeting and pump and dumping.

Take all their words with a grain of salt and play the I believe everything you say game. Trust me. You end up in a realtionship with ANY of them you are going to be in some sh1t.

Hell all they have to do is hide their profile and pretend they "deleted" it for you while trolling for c0ck on the side or as soon as something goes "wrong" re-activate it and get banged by the latest flavor of c0ck.

I'm not the only one on here who knows the deal. Nor just dudes on this site. There are other dudes out there who know EXACTLY what is going down on POF and free sites like it. Don't kid yourself in the least nor care a bit about it. You can only do your best and have fun with it. Period.

 

[pete101]

Dude all you have to do is guage by how many view your profile and do not respond (could be your pics aren't that bad but something turns them off about one of your pics or something you wrote on your profile that comes off negative and you may not realize it.) If they VIEW you it could only be one pic or something you wrote on your profile.

Or if they don't view your profile at all it could be definately your pics only as they aren't even looking at your profile and then you know you need better pictures of yourself looking your best DOING THINGS. Ex: Not just alone self pics.

Or if you get nasty responses it could just be the opener you are using.

If its nasty responses. (They don't like the opener you specifically are using so use a different one.)

If you get NO VIEWS they are just deleting based off of your pictures and you know you'll need better looking ones, ones with friends doing things like activities and ONE alone self pic. (Not all alone self taken pics)

If you get views they are reading the message and looking at your profile so then you know it's either your pics, something you wrote in your profile and or it could be just ONE of your pics.

A small change could make a serious difference in responses based on the above points.

MOST chicks on their use angles, shade, makeup, flattering poses, their best looking pics, old pics etc. So they may see ONE pic of you far away...and another close up of you wearing a hat and knowing they are faking the funk with their best camoflaged etc. pics will AUTOMATICALLY make them think something like. "Oh a far away pic." (He's ugly or fat) Oh he's got a pic with a hat on. "He must be balding or have some lump on his head and it's his most recent" "Oh a self taken pic. He must have no friends and is a creeper pervert loooooser." even if it's not the case AT ALL. Because they expect dudes to be doing the same pic tricks they are doing unless they are all close up, looking built/cut up, doing activities with friends. etc THEN they think "Oh he's HAWT!"

You need to figure out where you are possibly doing "wrong" and make small tweaks and "corrections" and things start changing drastically on there for you. You'll wind up making one or a few small changes and be like: Ex: " WTF?! That change made the difference?! A fvcking pic wearing a hat?!"

God as my witness the chicks on there are straight up freaks. ALL OF THEM. It depends on who brings it out for them.

Literally over about 130 chicks from all over the US I've gotten n00dz, videos, had phone convos (dirty as hell talk) etc.

Don't EVER stress over chicks who use online dating. Where do you think undercover freaks "hang out"? Online. All ex myspace wh0res, Adult Friend finder chicks have all migrated there. Town cvm dumpsters looking for a dude(s) whom their social circle would never find out they fvcked.

Chicks online are to be used for practice in BSing with, possibly meeting and pump and dumping.

Take all their words with a grain of salt and play the I believe everything you say game. Trust me. You end up in a realtionship with ANY of them you are going to be in some sh1t.

Hell all they have to do is hide their profile and pretend they "deleted" it for you while trolling for c0ck on the side or as soon as something goes "wrong" re-activate it and get banged by the latest flavor of c0ck.

I'm not the only one on here who knows the deal. Nor just dudes on this site. There are other dudes out there who know EXACTLY what is going down on POF and free sites like it. Don't kid yourself in the least nor care a bit about it. You can only do your best and have fun with it. Period.

i actually used your method word by word.. literally..

i also used your profile description word for word.. the thing which was hurting me initially was the DTF = down to fish as the headliner.. that got me no replies initially.. then i changed it and started to get responses.. i think it creeps out europeans.

but yes it's my pics.. ive only got 2 decent pics of myself so i keep it at 2

i def have seen an improvement but not significant enough to get lots of responses, either way im keeping your profile description you suggested cos i'm getting favorable responses sometimes of 'you're not my type but your profile is amazing!!' etc.. but then they dont follow on after.