Poems

inzone50

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
Is writing your girl a poem a too wussy? Or will she like it because its romantic? Topic of the poem is how beautiful her body is?

I just know a guy who is a artist and he writes nice rhymes so he can right me a poem that will sound good.
 

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Messages
469
Reaction score
1
Location
NJ / NYC
poems are nice, they put you above the rest..but don't make the topic about her body..ever read Cyrano de bergeac... instead make the poem about anything fun you two have done together.. this is a good example, use some to their stuff

tories in our lives, we keep them all inside // Now look at me still in your mind / Our memories so intertwined / Well you broke through and found your way / And so did I no need to stay // Do you remember lying on the beach so late at night / Do you remember running through the sprinklers that night / Do you remember all the songs that I have wrote for you / I remember the way you made me feel when I was with you / That look in your eyes I never thought that this would be untrue
 

L777

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
1,206
Reaction score
20
Age
38
Location
manchester UK
You should do a freestyle rap instead, to the beat of "girls, girls, girls" by Jay Z.....alpha and romantic!!
 

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Messages
469
Reaction score
1
Location
NJ / NYC
i found some slick rick does the job too... "im in the mood for love, simply because your near me. Honey, im in the mood, don't mean to be rude, but i'm in the mood for loveeeeee."
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
2,079
Reaction score
29
blackbelt2k said:
tories in our lives, we keep them all inside // Now look at me still in your mind / Our memories so intertwined / Well you broke through and found your way / And so did I no need to stay // Do you remember lying on the beach so late at night / Do you remember running through the sprinklers that night / Do you remember all the songs that I have wrote for you / I remember the way you made me feel when I was with you / That look in your eyes I never thought that this would be untrue
That's not a very good poem. In fact it barely qualifies as such, it's just some prose broken up by line breaks, and is too needy, imploring her to remember all the songs written for her before.

Creating art for your gf is generally a winner, I'm an artist and can attest to that. But it can also come across very AFC if you over do it, or do it wrong, or at the wrong time. Writing a poem is possibly the riskiest approach, even if you are capable of stringing a few words together. Getting someone else to write it (about your gfs body) for you seems tricksy and potentially disastrous.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Messages
469
Reaction score
1
Location
NJ / NYC
thats not my poem, its a song, lol ... my poem would go something like this.... cough cough....

girly O girly where art thou,
you are the east where the sun rises,
I am the west where it sets,
Lets meet at noon and have some sex.
 

LovelyLady

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
437
Reaction score
41
I have to second Cyrano..

"A kiss, when all is said, what is it? A rosy dot placed on the "i" in loving; a secret told to the mouth instead of the ear."

It's been 22 years since that was first read to me - and I still remember it with a smile. Focus on the shared experience, not her body specifically.... good advice.
 

inzone50

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
blackbelt2k said:
poems are nice, they put you above the rest..but don't make the topic about her body..ever read Cyrano de bergeac... instead make the poem about anything fun you two have done together.. this is a good example, use some to their stuff

tories in our lives, we keep them all inside // Now look at me still in your mind / Our memories so intertwined / Well you broke through and found your way / And so did I no need to stay // Do you remember lying on the beach so late at night / Do you remember running through the sprinklers that night / Do you remember all the songs that I have wrote for you / I remember the way you made me feel when I was with you / That look in your eyes I never thought that this would be untrue
Why is it bad to make a poem about her body and how i find it hot? Explain.

The reason i wanted to do it is because she said she was self-conscious about it.
 

inzone50

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
Also, dose anyone have some funny lines that rhyme that i can txt her?
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

foomee

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 8, 2006
Messages
363
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Location
California
Nighthawk said:
That's not a very good poem. In fact it barely qualifies as such, it's just some prose broken up by line breaks, and is too needy, imploring her to remember all the songs written for her before.

Creating art for your gf is generally a winner, I'm an artist and can attest to that. But it can also come across very AFC if you over do it, or do it wrong, or at the wrong time. Writing a poem is possibly the riskiest approach, even if you are capable of stringing a few words together. Getting someone else to write it (about your gfs body) for you seems tricksy and potentially disastrous.


I highly agree with nighthawk. Poems can win over a girl in an instant, but at the same time it can come off as afc and turn her off. Don't make it seem like you're sooo in love with her, but try to add some humor in it and maybe joke around by mentioning something you dislike about her or some kind of neg hit. Body poems are a no no though, you could add maybe a line or two, but try to stay away from them. Try to make the poem be humorous and reflect your experiences or maybe even things you both enjoy.
 

inzone50

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
This is one of the poems I got, but it sounds to NEEDY, can yall fix some lines?

I want to say something
Something that will show you that I care about you
I want you to know that you are my precious stone
& your beauty is something I wish I could construe

I want to say something
Like how your absence has become my bitter enemy
I want you to know that I now sing love songs
Because true love has finally become an entity

Something about my level of serious, my exclusive
comfort with u & my possession of strong feelings
I want to say: to fall asleep peacefully at night
I picture your face in my ceiling

I simply want to say something to you
 

foomee

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 8, 2006
Messages
363
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Location
California
How long have you guys been dating for? Sounds like you're really in love with this girl.

and take out this line:
Like how your absence has become my bitter enemy

it sounds needy, but other than that it's sounding pretty good. try adding something funny?
 

inzone50

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
foomee said:
How long have you guys been dating for? Sounds like you're really in love with this girl.

and take out this line:
Like how your absence has become my bitter enemy

it sounds needy, but other than that it's sounding pretty good. try adding something funny?
3 months, ya i'm in love with her but i don't show it. stand in love not fall, you know...
 

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Messages
469
Reaction score
1
Location
NJ / NYC
heres one..

put ya hands down my pants,
i bet you'll feel nuts.
yes im sisco, yes im eber,
and your getting two thumbs up.

you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel...

...on a serious not, i think your more infatuated than in love...3 months is way to short to be in love
 

inzone50

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
186
Reaction score
0
blackbelt2k said:
heres one..

put ya hands down my pants,
i bet you'll feel nuts.
yes im sisco, yes im eber,
and your getting two thumbs up.

you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel...

...on a serious not, i think your more infatuated than in love...3 months is way to short to be in love
Maybe not love, but i like her a lot. But will that poem do good or is it too AFC.
 
Top