Most of my LTR have had moderate to severe PMS. Here’s my advice list:
- never forget it’s coming. It’s the times when you’re like “why has she suddenly become an evil basket case?” That it catches you off guard.
- The correct strategy is to avoid any argument and confrontation. You cannot win, you can’t reason with it. Imagine if you were sleep deprived 3 days - that’s the kind of thing you’re dealing with.
- They say never openly say it’s her PMS but I disagree. You don’t have to be all “you’re on your period” every time she gets emotional, but if she starts trying to do stupid self destructive things like quit her job etc then just say “maybe cool down and wait a few days, you’re having a rough time just wait it out”. She will know what you’re saying.
- You can speak about her PMS AFTER. Make a little joke about it but crucially, it sets her up next time to recognise what’s going on and you can say “we spoke about this last month didnt we”? It might snap her out of it long enough not to do crazy shyt.
- Never forget that women have zero perspective on their PMS. It feels Uber real to them at the time and virtually none of them have the self awareness to know what’s up, and most don’t have the humility to admit they have what is basically a personality disorder for 1/4 weeks in the month.
- usually PMS is 2 parts. A really bad spike about 7 days before which cools off, then amother smaller spike just before P day. Recognise you might think it’s fine and then it comes back.
- Accept them for it. You cant make a walrus a lion. The same system which makes her like this is the same system which creates a beautiful new life. Same as our own tests which can make us angry is the same stuff that rescues people from burning buildings and take a bullet for your family. You might wish it was different, but you might as well wish the sky was pink.
- Don’t let it get to you. Never get angry. If anything, chuckle at it. Laugh at her. Maintain frame. They love you for it, because you are showing yourself to be the rock. You are showing in the course of life, you will experience deaths, disaster and famine together and you are man enough to shrug it off and keep going. Women love an emotionally in control man.
- There is a line. If she gets literally abusive or Crazy, now you can spell out why she’s wrong and being unreasonable (mostly, just don’t engage at all, but if it’s getting serious, you have to stand up). Crucially, again, don’t lose your temper. You have to be basically an immovable rock emotionally.
- Provided she’s not being a total b1tch but is just emotional and cranky, go get her something nice or cook her something. Showing a bit of love, whilst not being a doormat, will make your life easier.
women mostly don’t like periods and don’t want to be a d1ck but they are just totally overcome with powerful hormones.
Follow the above man advice and you will weather the storm.
never forget it’s who they are. They are not always sweet. They are emotional. Your job is to remain unmoved, help protect them from themselves and be a god damn man by not taking a thing they say seriously.