PlentyOfLove
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2012
- Messages
- 28
- Reaction score
- 4
Hello gents,
This thread will be a diary for me. I'll be updating it occasionally, but not too frequently. More than anything, it will be a stamp in my forehead. Something to slap me in the face if I start to slip up. Something to pat me in the back when I'm doing good. The good thing is, I'm sober when writing this. So far, when I've made promises to myself, I've usually been drunk/surging from some sudden boost in dedication, that usually fades with the hangover.
You see, from last tuesday to now, something started to develop inside of me. First it just felt like an enormous boost in motivation, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't know what it was, though I knew full well WHY it happened. A girl that I was supposed to go out with didn't call at the time she promised she would, and I felt really bad about it. So I took a walk. "Why the heck do I feel bad? I shouldn't, just NEXT her." She called me about 20 minutes late, still wanting to go out, but that's not important. It's what I realized when I thought she would blow me off.
I've met the girl I want. I have been spinning plates, acting like I give a damn about any of them, but it just isn't true. If that makes me an AFC, then so be it. I want this gal, and I'll be damned if I won't get her. I can look at this from a fully objective perspective. She isn't perfect. I recognize all her faults, all her shortcomings, from her lack of confidence to her somewhat chubby body to her annoying whining to her passivity. But when I see a job or an occupation I want, I go out and take it. When I see a watch or a shirt I want I buy it, come hell or high water. And when I feel this strongly about someone, I feel I'd be lying to myself if I didn't throw everything I've got at her.
As a matter of fact, three threads I've started here are about her. No point in trying to hide it.
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194972
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195122
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195419
This doesn't mean I'll drop at her feet and beg her to love me. It doesn't mean I'll stop being myself, and it doesn't mean I'll drown her in affection. Quite the opposite. Today I made three important decisions:
1) I will bulk up. I can't change my height (~ 175-178cm / 5'10"-5'11"), but I can change what this height consists of. I've done serious training before, I've done sports all my life, but I'm still skinny as heck. Nothing I can do about it, or so I thought. My usual excuse has been "My body is this way, and I just can't gain weight. If someone doesn't like it, then I don't need 'em."
In reality, I've been half-assed about my efforts to bulk up. It will change. I have a training schedule and a diet lined up, and I will follow them to the letter. No more excuses, I will bulk up, so she doesn't have to worry about being heavier than me (the fact that I can already lift her up like it's nothing doesn't seem to matter).
2) I will change my lifestyle. I won't stop going out, I won't stop drinking, I won't stop smoking cigars, and I won't stop playing games/eating what I want to. But I will balance it. Drink less, smoke less, go out more but mix it up, instead of hitting the terrace every day. Play less games, hit the gym more often. Less masturbating. 3 times a week at most (a big change for me; hopefully resulting in me feel manlier still). Clean this place up; starting today. Throw out everything I don't need. Purchase things that help me reach my goals, and things that help me stay motivated.
A car, and a suit or two for starters.
3) Man the fvck up. I'm already an alpha as far as my position amongst my peers go (I lead, others follow), but I've been far too half-assed about my money, about my property, about my job, about my hobbies, about my passions, and about my love life. No more of this kiddy $hit, time to take the bull by the horns and become a real man.
The reason for this decision coming now are multiple. The main one would be the fact that this girl in question will probably leave the town for at least three months, once summer ends. She will be back here though, and once she returns, I'll be a better man, physically and mentally. I always move forwards in life, in a pace much faster than most, but there are still some seriously lacking areas I will HAVE to improve, since I figure the only way I'm going to get what I want is by improving.
If she should come back with a boyfriend, so be it. If I should come across someone who I fall for, so be it. If I lose interest in her, so be it. If PlentyOfLove v. 3.0 isn't good enough, so be it. At least I will know I made the effort. I won't stop spinning plates. I won't start chasing her. I've read the material, and I won't revert back into a chump. Never. I will improve further. I will evolve. What will keep me going is the fact that we WILL end up together. It might be through 20 other girls and guys, but it doesn't matter. We will be the ones left standing once the smoke clears. I will pull away, to be able to reel her in. Only way to have her is to let her go, and start over from scratch further down the road.
So there. If you want to make fun of me for not being willing to just ditch her as damaged goods, feel free to. I know what I want, and what I have to do to want it. And it starts now, with me throwing away all the clothes and cr4p I don't need, or that pull me down. Cleaning this place comes second. Tomorrow, my training regimen will start, as will my new diet and, step by step, life as a new me, romanticized as it may be.
We'll see if we're together once the year turns to 2013. If not, then so be it. I'll be a better man, and truly able to say YOUR LOSS, LADY.
And, to end a corny and cliche ridden post in a fitting manner, our cliched ending: Our song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mifhifbByHk
This thread will be a diary for me. I'll be updating it occasionally, but not too frequently. More than anything, it will be a stamp in my forehead. Something to slap me in the face if I start to slip up. Something to pat me in the back when I'm doing good. The good thing is, I'm sober when writing this. So far, when I've made promises to myself, I've usually been drunk/surging from some sudden boost in dedication, that usually fades with the hangover.
You see, from last tuesday to now, something started to develop inside of me. First it just felt like an enormous boost in motivation, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't know what it was, though I knew full well WHY it happened. A girl that I was supposed to go out with didn't call at the time she promised she would, and I felt really bad about it. So I took a walk. "Why the heck do I feel bad? I shouldn't, just NEXT her." She called me about 20 minutes late, still wanting to go out, but that's not important. It's what I realized when I thought she would blow me off.
I've met the girl I want. I have been spinning plates, acting like I give a damn about any of them, but it just isn't true. If that makes me an AFC, then so be it. I want this gal, and I'll be damned if I won't get her. I can look at this from a fully objective perspective. She isn't perfect. I recognize all her faults, all her shortcomings, from her lack of confidence to her somewhat chubby body to her annoying whining to her passivity. But when I see a job or an occupation I want, I go out and take it. When I see a watch or a shirt I want I buy it, come hell or high water. And when I feel this strongly about someone, I feel I'd be lying to myself if I didn't throw everything I've got at her.
As a matter of fact, three threads I've started here are about her. No point in trying to hide it.
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194972
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195122
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195419
This doesn't mean I'll drop at her feet and beg her to love me. It doesn't mean I'll stop being myself, and it doesn't mean I'll drown her in affection. Quite the opposite. Today I made three important decisions:
1) I will bulk up. I can't change my height (~ 175-178cm / 5'10"-5'11"), but I can change what this height consists of. I've done serious training before, I've done sports all my life, but I'm still skinny as heck. Nothing I can do about it, or so I thought. My usual excuse has been "My body is this way, and I just can't gain weight. If someone doesn't like it, then I don't need 'em."
In reality, I've been half-assed about my efforts to bulk up. It will change. I have a training schedule and a diet lined up, and I will follow them to the letter. No more excuses, I will bulk up, so she doesn't have to worry about being heavier than me (the fact that I can already lift her up like it's nothing doesn't seem to matter).
2) I will change my lifestyle. I won't stop going out, I won't stop drinking, I won't stop smoking cigars, and I won't stop playing games/eating what I want to. But I will balance it. Drink less, smoke less, go out more but mix it up, instead of hitting the terrace every day. Play less games, hit the gym more often. Less masturbating. 3 times a week at most (a big change for me; hopefully resulting in me feel manlier still). Clean this place up; starting today. Throw out everything I don't need. Purchase things that help me reach my goals, and things that help me stay motivated.
A car, and a suit or two for starters.
3) Man the fvck up. I'm already an alpha as far as my position amongst my peers go (I lead, others follow), but I've been far too half-assed about my money, about my property, about my job, about my hobbies, about my passions, and about my love life. No more of this kiddy $hit, time to take the bull by the horns and become a real man.
The reason for this decision coming now are multiple. The main one would be the fact that this girl in question will probably leave the town for at least three months, once summer ends. She will be back here though, and once she returns, I'll be a better man, physically and mentally. I always move forwards in life, in a pace much faster than most, but there are still some seriously lacking areas I will HAVE to improve, since I figure the only way I'm going to get what I want is by improving.
If she should come back with a boyfriend, so be it. If I should come across someone who I fall for, so be it. If I lose interest in her, so be it. If PlentyOfLove v. 3.0 isn't good enough, so be it. At least I will know I made the effort. I won't stop spinning plates. I won't start chasing her. I've read the material, and I won't revert back into a chump. Never. I will improve further. I will evolve. What will keep me going is the fact that we WILL end up together. It might be through 20 other girls and guys, but it doesn't matter. We will be the ones left standing once the smoke clears. I will pull away, to be able to reel her in. Only way to have her is to let her go, and start over from scratch further down the road.
So there. If you want to make fun of me for not being willing to just ditch her as damaged goods, feel free to. I know what I want, and what I have to do to want it. And it starts now, with me throwing away all the clothes and cr4p I don't need, or that pull me down. Cleaning this place comes second. Tomorrow, my training regimen will start, as will my new diet and, step by step, life as a new me, romanticized as it may be.
We'll see if we're together once the year turns to 2013. If not, then so be it. I'll be a better man, and truly able to say YOUR LOSS, LADY.
And, to end a corny and cliche ridden post in a fitting manner, our cliched ending: Our song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mifhifbByHk