Plenty of Fish

[Findog]

I was intrigued by this article on Roissy comparing the experiences of men and women on dating sites:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/results-from-an-online-dating-experiment/

tl;dr - the hottest of women on OKCupid got 16 times as many unsolicited messages as the hottest guys. The hottest guys got fewer unsolicited messages as the plain jane types. Even the ugliest women got close to the same number of messages as the hottest guys. Average or ugly looking guys got almost no unsolicited messages.

I have heard guys complain that they almost never receive any messages at all on online dating sites. I had heard that Plenty of Fish is kind of a bottom-feeder site and had never used it before. I set up a profile, filled out the about me sections completely, put up in my judgment the best pictures I had, and made sure to log in regularly so that my profile would be near the top of the results. My rule was that I would not message women themselves, but wait to see if anybody messaged me.

After two weeks, I've gotten about 144 profile views, around 23 unsolicited messages, 23 "meet mes" where a user basically indicates she would like you to message her, and 3 "favorites" where a user adds you to her list of favorite users. Of the 23 messages I got, I only replied to maybe 4-5 of them, as the rest did not pass the boner test based on the pictures they put up. There are plenty of hot chicks on there, but it seems like the ratio of fatties/fugs to hotties is about 80/20.

Anybody else have any experiences with plenty of fish? It just seems like the userbase is much trashier than the typical suspects like match, eharmony, okc, etc.

 

[Boilermaker]

what was the question besides your flaming narcissism?

We got the part where you implied you are one of the hottest guys on earth.

 

[Findog]

No, that's not what I meant to convey. One thing I've been realizing lately I'd just how much of an AFC I still am. If I didn't struggle with women I wouldn't be on this site. My question is if this kind of response rate was normal. I'd say I'm an average looking dude.

 

[disgustipated]

Im with you...I've seen much better results on pof than that study indicates. And I'm average.

On okcupid, I don't do nearly as well. Talking unsolicited messages from bangables.

 

[evan12]

No, that's not what I meant to convey. One thing I've been realizing lately I'd just how much of an AFC I still am. If I didn't struggle with women I wouldn't be on this site. My question is if this kind of response rate was normal. I'd say I'm an average looking dude.

this not really that accurate , women get far more messages that what was written here , even the ugly ones , I think he left the profiles without login for a long time

 

[BeDJ]

Findog, I will admit you are having much success for being "average." 23 initial contacts in 2 weeks? That is incredible! Mind posting your profile?

FWIW, I have only gotten 5 initial contacts within 1 month on POF.

 

[Findog]

Findog, I will admit you are having much success for being "average." 23 initial contacts in 2 weeks? That is incredible! Mind posting your profile?

FWIW, I have only gotten 5 initial contacts within 1 month on POF.

I'll PM it to you. From what I can tell getting used to the site, the search results default to most recent logins, whereas other sites treat profiles equally when it comes to displaying search results, regardless of last login date. The most recent logins come up first in search. If you don't log in for several days, chicks aren't going to go digging until page 75 of results to see your profile. I have an app on my phone. I log in about once every hour during the day at work and don't do anything. I just stay logged in on the phone for about 10-15 minutes, then I log out.

 

[SecondHalf]

Findog,

I don't find you a narcissist, just someone trying to figure out his place in the hierarchy. Your goal however is to not give a rats a55 about the hierarchy but rather do your best and hold your head high, that's one of the more important attributes sought.

I wouldn't worry about ratios either. Men for the most part have been the "hunters". The high value women (or those that deem themselves to be), sit back and choose (while they can - your age group ).

It changes though, at my age group, I put my profile up (last year anyway), with my age requirements (my age), and let 'em come to me. As yet, I've never sent out a solicitation. It was easy!

I can only comment on these sites given my age group, but I find POF for the most part sucks. These women (if you want the hotties), are so accustomed to being hit on, they've a total inflated sense of worth. It matters not that half of their attention come from married men with no picture that don't have to explain their CC debit to their wives.

I didn't like OKC either much. However, I used it when it was free. So ... dunno now.

Match was my happy place. If you've got your sh1t half together, this one is simple.

If I were to give advice now, lie about your age. If I ever go on there again it's (-5 years) for me. Feck it! (you need to back that with a youthful look mind you).

Leave yourself logged in. Anyone who would judge you in this day and age about being an addict opposed to owning an iPhone .. is an ignorant bubble head.

Good pics, good profile, never respond pickled, disappear when you've got enough hungries (let them know you're busy enough) and you'll be fine.

Happy hunting ...

SH

 

[Stagger Lee]

I'll PM it to you. From what I can tell getting used to the site, the search results default to most recent logins, whereas other sites treat profiles equally when it comes to displaying search results, regardless of last login date. The most recent logins come up first in search. If you don't log in for several days, chicks aren't going to go digging until page 75 of results to see your profile. I have an app on my phone. I log in about once every hour during the day at work and don't do anything. I just stay logged in on the phone for about 10-15 minutes, then I log out.

23 unsolicited replies in 2 weeks is phenomenol. I would like to see your page. You must be a very good looking guy or something. It might depend on your location as well. I get maybe on average 1 or 2 unsolicited messages a week, and those are mostly warpigs. I do get replies but I have to contact first and I'm thinking my return rate is less than 33%.

The OKcupid study and the disparity between what men vs women receive in messages is even worse than it claims. I believe they discarded message spammers from the tally. But most men are the ones spamming, so it made it look like men don't get quiet as few contacts as females do. Plus keep in mind a male sending a message to a female usually means he's down to fvck her. A female sending a message doesn't mean a lot.

I have had a POF profile for several years. Most of them women are fatties and uglies with kids. Again, it probably depends on the area. On OKcupid there are more 20-somethings that are at least half-way decent looking and without kids.

 

[Zarky]

Is this what's known as a "humblebrag" thread?

 

[disgustipated]

Idk, first time I.saw that term humblebrag was in a thread I posted in and found it quite annoying since it couldn't of have been further.from the truth. Dude is stating he.thinks himself average....either you believe his assertion of his averageness or don't. Pick a side. Saying someone is humblebragging is like having it both ways, say what you mean.