plenty IOI's slept naked - no kissing??? - WTH?

[tomato]

please advice for tomorrow-IOI's + slept naked-no kissing???

When she comes over tomorrow to cook for me how can I avoid this again? - thanks guys

So I went out on a date with this girl last night was awesome - my game was so on - high high interest - went really well had a whole load of drinks totally in the mood lots of ioi's kino groping me me groping her - but no kissing.

Then goes out of this mode when in taxi home even though most drunk in taxi. Get back to my room - again back in the mood dancing etc - but again no kissing........ WTF am I doing wrong here? I initially tried to push for it but I was feeling big resistance to kissing so I decided to not push it.

The no kissing awkwardness then made smelling/general seduction stuff awkward - got naked together in bed (because its more comfortable than club clothes) went to sleep hugging. I felt like I didnt want to push the kissing to come across like I was chasing since when I pushed to do it she would say its "awkward".

What did I do wrong here? Help me out guys? When she comes over later today/tomorrow to cook for me how can I avoid this again? - also I invited her over tonight/tomorrow to cook - this was clearly too eager - I was thinking of cancelling it??? wuold that get rid of the chasing frame I set up?

 

[AlexDP]

When she comes over later today/tomorrow to cook for me how can I avoid this again? - thanks guys

So I went out on a date with this girl last night was awesome went really well had a whole load of drinks totally in the mood lots of ioi's kino groping me me groping her - but no kissing.

Then goes out of this mode when in taxi home even though most drunk in taxi. Get back to my room - again back in the mood dancing etc - but again no kissing........ WTF am I doing wrong here?

The no kissing awkwardness then made smelling/general seduction stuff awkward - got naked together in bed (because its more comfortable than club clothes) went to sleep hugging. I felt like I didnt want to push the kissing to come across like I was chasing since when I pushed to do it she would say its "awkward".

What did I do wrong here? Help me out guys? When she comes over later today/tomorrow to cook for me how can I avoid this again? - also I invited her over tonight/tomorrow to cook - this was clearly too eager - I was thinking of cancelling it??? wuold that get rid of the chasing frame I set up?

My god, aren't you the little creep? If you're in bed with a woman, she wants you to kiss her. She wants you to take charge and you are the one who is responsible for not making it awkward. You have, quite obviously, failed.

It still wouldn't be a problem if you wouldn't give it so much thought, but you insist on making up these little game strategies. Cut it out.

 

[tomato]

My god, aren't you the little creep? If you're in bed with a woman, she wants you to kiss her. She wants you to take charge and you are the one who is responsible for not making it awkward. You have, quite obviously, failed.

It still wouldn't be a problem if you wouldn't give it so much thought, but you insist on making up these little game strategies. Cut it out.

Hmm ok, Little moron? one of the main reasons for this forum is to help each other out by discussing our meetings with women. You correctly identified the problem "not making it awkward" but didn't offer any adivce on it - I dont want a strategy just some advice on what general approach to take to it - my friend, YOU are the one that failed to identify the whole point of why we are here.

 

[backseatjuan]

I'm with my gf 1 month 21st, she don't kiss, don't give bjs. Loeves me to death.


It's her prob, if it continues, don't be afraid to ask direct questions.

 

[SamTheHobit]

My god, aren't you the little creep? If you're in bed with a woman, she wants you to kiss her. She wants you to take charge and you are the one who is responsible for not making it awkward. You have, quite obviously, failed.

It still wouldn't be a problem if you wouldn't give it so much thought, but you insist on making up these little game strategies. Cut it out.

You little f@ggot.

 

[AlexDP]

You little f@ggot.

Who you calling little? You're a friggin' hobbit.

 

[pinhas]

Who you calling little? You're a friggin' hobbit.

Dont you mean.. hobit??

lol

 

[horaholic]

So, dont kiss her... Just stick your penis in her. Kissing is NOT a requirement for sex, you know.

 

[pdx1138]

Tomato, ya gotta just go for it.

Don't be concerned about "awkward" thats your inner afc talking...just get it done. If she is in bed with you naked, she wants you to kiss her. Be a man...Do it!

 

[tomato]

Tomato, ya gotta just go for it.

Don't be concerned about "awkward" thats your inner afc talking...just get it done. If she is in bed with you naked, she wants you to kiss her. Be a man...Do it!

Believe me i tried! I even tried pinning her down playfully and forcing it! She actually said it was awkward herself!

This could of course have something to do with us having previously had a breakup 8 weeks ago and not having seen each other since - but dont let that change the topic please.

I did push pull pretty much all night till we both got tired of it - very difficult to do foreplay without kissing! right?

 

[Rubato]

If I was going to overthink this, a productive way to do it would be to conceptualize it as a giant sh*t, which you failed. Think about this bro... you two were NAKED, in bed!!! I would never be NAKED in bed with some girl if my d1ck was not in use or soon going to be in use.

You are not a sexual threat. At all. And you proved it last night. You may have given her reason to think differently if you were kinoing, but you couldn't go for the kiss. This may help you out here: If you force a kiss on a girl, the worst that could happen is that you find out exactly how she feels about you and might get hit (though, this has never happened to me). If you force sex on a girl, the worst that could happen is you spend several years in prison and live the rest of your life with a felony conviction as a registered sex offender.

Especially when you're in a club setting, you can't be afraid to make a bold move. Most of my failures with women have come from my own fear of being bold and stepping out of my comfort zone... but sometimes you just have to take a girl and make something happen. Note: That means you don't give a sh*t what kind of signs you're getting from her... you don't care because you don't have time to get all analytical about what's going on. Why spend the time figuring out if it's going well when getting the kiss out of the way will tell you quickly?

But at the end of the day, I don't know if I would let myself see a girl again that I was in bed with naked and couldn't have sex with. I would be embarassed, particularly if I tried for the sex and didn't get it because I half a$$ed some escalation attempts but didn't have the balls to totally go for it. At the end of the day, you weren't sexually threatening enough to either

1. Go for it regardless of signs and force her to directly accept or reject your advances.

2. Tell her to get the h#ll out of your bed and go home if she was not willing to have sex.

Honestly, I would have directly tried for it and made her accept or reject it. And if she rejected, I would have asked her to leave. What do you hope to gain from seeing her yet again?

 

[st_99]

went to sleep hugging.

dude, thats an epic fail! lol. :kick:

 

[Domo_Arigatoo]

Okay.... wow i really just read this.
I should be waking up soon.

 

[pdx1138]

If you really tried and she said it was awkward, you two were in bed with no clothes on, then she's the biggest c0ck tease in the world.

NEXT!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

How could you get this chick to be naked in bed with you, but not even kiss you? That just doesn't make sense to me at all. I would've just went for it even if it was awkward to get her ass outta my house since I'm not getting any action.

Having a naked woman sleep next to you without anything happening must be ****ing torture! hahaha

 

[spartanfan]

Personally in my opinion the girl sounds like a Huge waste of time! I'm not trying to be disrespectful to the OP but there are other things in life than women that waste your time.

 

[TheManOfSteel]

How in the HELL do you end up in bed naked with a girl and not AT LEAST kiss her? Is that even possible?!

 

[tomato]

She is an ex and she initially said she wanted to sleep with one of my t-shirts on - but then for some reason - too hot? she took it off.....

this is an 8/9 btw - naked in bed - yes it was VERY frustrating - I think we were so close and I didnt want to rush anything.

Thanks for the responses about the emotional neediness - I'll bear that in mind. I was actually thinking of suggesting she stays over this time so she doesn't forget her makeup wipes (she always makes a big deal about washing it off) - but I just realised that would have been stupid. I think even the idea of cooking with her is too "friend zone" like. I have decided going out is better right???- or we'll just get into the friend zone(LTR bf/gf boring sex) frame of staying at home cooking and watching a film - although that can work aswell right?

 

[Chamber36]

Ok after reading this I'll have to add my two cents.

My initial impression, not surprisingly, is that you're trying too hard. All you're thinking of is getting what you want. You need to push and pull.

See imho you started it off with too much groping in the start. You have to keep kino on a sexual level, but you don't have to grope each other. Show some restraint, and then at the end of the night you can go for that make-out or whatever.

And if I was you I would have just started sucking on those titties, regardless of what she thinks. I woulda even done it while she was sleeping.

Just make her think she's chasing you. It's the new lesson i'm trying to learn now.

 

[Aaron B]

my name is tomato

i start threads then i argue with every piece of criticism and advice that is offered