Please translate girl speak for me

[Harold]

Allright, just to get the lay of the land, I'm in a LTR and happened to come upon a copy of The Rational Male a few days ago and gulped it down like a cold beer after being lost in the desert.

Now, the ideas there are somewhat in line with what I've come to expect, or should I say suspect, during my life. But it still feels like a revelation to actually see it written down.

However, I have never actually acted in the way this book implies women unconsciously want, and naturally I now see things in the past in a different light.

But also, i feel like it must have affected my behaviour somehow, because today my partner texted me (from work) the following:

"There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

The phrasing is a bit unusual for her, though normally I would just read this as a string of information. But now I cant help thinking there is more to it. Should I? If so, can anyone translate this for me and suggest appropriate response? (I'm a Ph.D. of sciences btw, but psychology analphabet sorry to say).

Harold

Edit: Btw, I have no problem with the actual event if anyone wonders. The food is usually awesome.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Allright, just to get the lay of the land, I'm in a LTR and happened to come upon a copy of The Rational Male a few days ago and gulped it down like a cold beer after being lost in the desert.

Now, the ideas there are somewhat in line with what I've come to expect, or should I say suspect, during my life. But it still feels like a revelation to actually see it written down.

However, I have never actually acted in the way this book implies women unconsciously want, and naturally I now see things in the past in a different light.

But also, i feel like it must have affected my behaviour somehow, because today my partner texted me (from work) the following:

"There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

The phrasing is a bit unusual for her, though normally I would just read this as a string of information. But now I cant help thinking there is more to it. Should I? If so, can anyone translate this for me and suggest appropriate response? (I'm a Ph.D. of sciences btw, but psychology analphabet sorry to say).

Harold

Edit: Btw, I have no problem with the actual event if anyone wonders. The food is usually awesome.

The total control part. She obviously strongly wants you there but took away your decision-making.

 

[Chi Town]

"There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

She's the dominant one in the relationship.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She's the dominant one in the relationship.

What if shes not in the dominant position yet? Her first "order"?

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I tune women out, last night I got in to an uber pool with 2 women yapping about their night out. It's amazing how they can find so many words to explain a mundane situation.
One chick was like "I think hats make guys cuter, a lot of guys ugly with out hats "....

 

[Medina]

I would have a problem with her tone. And I would call her out on it.

 

[Harold]

Louis-Michel van Loo is going to help us out here:
View attachment 2497

Lol, ok that was funny, but not an answer to my question.

 

[Chi Town]

What if shes not in the dominant position yet? Her first "order"?

If she's not there yet she will be soon lol

 

[Chi Town]

Louis-Michel van Loo is going to help us out here:
View attachment 2497

Lmaooo

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If she's not there yet she will be soon lol

It dont take many "compliance"

 

[ariesc]

[QUOTE="There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."[/QUOTE]

Woooooooooooow. You don't feel that knee-jerk reaction to be put her in her place? Just reading this I feel my blood boiling.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

"There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

It is impossible to interpret this without context.

If she ALWAYS talks like this, telling you what to do and you doing it, then it's pretty face value.

On the other hand, it could be an important event, and she's terrified you won't go, so she may be covering up her insecurity with pretend dominance.

It's also important to know HOW she said it. Offhand? Direct and strong eye contact? Did she wait for you to nod or did she immediately change the subject so you wouldn't have a chance to object?

What would happen if you said you didn't want to go?

You mentioned the food was usually awesome, which is interesting, since nobody goes to their girlfriend's parents house for the food.

How is the energy of these meetings? natural, laid back, dirty jokes? Pins and needles, watching your words carefully? Do they like you? Do they hate you? What is her relationship with her parents? Her father?

I suspect you are leaving out quite a bit of information...

 

[Robert28]

All you had to say when she said “you’re going to be there” is “excuse me? Why don’t you try INVITING me properly.” Don’t tell it, just tell her in a calm manner. Unless she said it in a sarcastic joking way, which I’m guessing she’s not that type.

 

[Atom Smasher]

There's no way for us to help you without complete information.

What does "partner" mean? How long have you been with her? What are your living arrangements? Does she usually command you like this?

Fill out the details so we have context.

 

[SpanishFly]

"Thanks for the *invitation*, I'll let you know". Then maintain total silence until she replies with a valid response.

 

[GrowingPains]

Mannn....

Why are you entertaining this bullsh!t. If it doesn't sit well with you then tell her that. There's nothing hidden here what do you want us to say? You read TRM and now your every move makes her think you're transforming into Alpha Harold and she wants keep you in her pocket like the little Beta Harold you have been?

“excuse me? Why don’t you try INVITING me properly.”

Just say this, my du'.

 

[Harold]

Update: So, in the end I decided not to text a reply but instead wait till we met face to face later. So, when we meet up (irl) later, after a while she asks me (in a friendly way): "So, do you want to come to the dinner tomorrow or not?"

Normally that is what I would have read into the original text, so I think just having read TRM made me second guess it..

(Btw, I replied something like "Perhaps, if I've got the time". Bear in mind I'm translating all this to English so something might get LiT)

Edit: clarification

 

[Soldier King]

can't stop faith.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Allright, just to get the lay of the land, I'm in a LTR and happened to come upon a copy of The Rational Male a few days ago and gulped it down like a cold beer after being lost in the desert.

Now, the ideas there are somewhat in line with what I've come to expect, or should I say suspect, during my life. But it still feels like a revelation to actually see it written down.

However, I have never actually acted in the way this book implies women unconsciously want, and naturally I now see things in the past in a different light.

But also, i feel like it must have affected my behaviour somehow, because today my partner texted me (from work) the following:

"There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

The phrasing is a bit unusual for her, though normally I would just read this as a string of information. But now I cant help thinking there is more to it. Should I? If so, can anyone translate this for me and suggest appropriate response? (I'm a Ph.D. of sciences btw, but psychology analphabet sorry to say).

Harold

Edit: Btw, I have no problem with the actual event if anyone wonders. The food is usually awesome.

Code is called Woman*se... Actually is a language they speak. Obviously they don't speak english from what I've noticed

 

[bcude]

You can say what you want but a woman wording something like that, eventhough she didn't meant it in a commanding way, is not acceptable in my book. No one wants to be told what to do, so the natural instinct is to rebel. If you let things like this just slide she'll subconsciously take that as weakness and do it more in the future. She wants to respect you at all times and to be put in her place when she's acting out, do you think she will respect you when she feels that she can get away commanding her man like this and he just follows along, eventhough it's said jokingly? No, she will gauge your reaction at all times and this will register in her subconscious and that's why you nip it in the butt immediately before it starting to become frequent and snowballs into flat out disrespect.

You teach others how you want to be treated.